Nightmares

Pairing: Raphanardo

Rating: T/M I'm really not sure

Universe: 2k12

Summary: Raphael overhears Leonardo talking with splinter and what he hears is surprising, after the fiasco with the mutated mushrooms; Leo believes his fears are defeated. When he discovers he's wrong, it might not be a bad thing.

He's not sure why he decided to head for the dojo; he knew Leo was meditating with Splinter.

He certainly knew not to disturb them.

But he had to be near him.

It never made sense, how close they were, how different they were, hot and cold, blue and red. Yet he wouldn't trust anyone as much as he did Leo. There's no logical answer as to why they should be so close.

No matter where they were, what they were doing, he always felt the need to be near him.

Now that they were "Romantically involved" if that's what you'd call it, the need is stronger. If Leo wasn't in his line of sight his heart rate would increase, his palms would grow clammy and his eyes would dart frantically around the room.

So maybe that's why he was clinging to the shadows and nearing the dojo door, that had been left slightly ajar. He could watch from a distance, right? Just peer around the corner and keep an eye on his lover.

Raph's breath hitched in his throat, Leo was sitting next to their father, legs tucked neatly under him. Trying, and failing to focus. Was Leo okay? It wasn't like him to be unfocused.

"What troubles you Leonardo?" Splinter asks his eldest.

Leo sighs and shakes his head. "I keep having the same nightmare, the guys are dragged off into darkness and I'm powerless to help."

"This is not uncommon; all leaders have to face the fear of losing their team." Splinter says to his son.

What? Leo is scared of losing them? Why would he bother worrying about what if's like that? Doesn't he know they would never blame him?

Raph can't hear anymore, he turns around and muffles the sounds of the conversation by covering his ear slits. He knew their fearless leader was afraid of something, but he hadn't realized it was something so… He couldn't even find a word for it. He just knew that knowing made his heart twist painfully.

A few days had passed, Leo had defeated the fear invoking mutant mushrooms. Not many people could do what Leo did, face his fear head on and conquer it. Raphael's heart had stopped aching, his brother had been reassured. He believed in himself, his authority, and his brothers.

They had a routine, Raphael would sneak into Leo's room a bit before midnight. Donatello was usually still in the lab around midnight, Mikey was sound asleep and as was Splinter. Raphael had to time it perfectly, he had to make it down the hall to Leo's room before Donnie made his way back to his own room.

Most times Leo was sleeping whenever Raphael crept in, snuggled under his blankets, face pressed into his pillow and a gentle smile on his face as he slept. He would nuzzle his nose against Leo's before kiss the boy awake.

Tonight, Raphael opened his door and soundlessly made his way to Leo's door. When he reached for the door a noise sounded from within. A quiet groan, followed by harsh breathing. Raph pressed closer to the door, what was Leo up to?

The sheets rustled and he could hear the bed springs squeak, Leo cried out quietly; painfully.

Raphael shoved the door open, finding Leo asleep in the bed before him.

His older brother tossed and turned, thrashed under his blankets. Leo's skin glistened with perspiration, hands twitching, grasping the sheets in a tight fist. Finally bolting up right with a frantic shout, tears swelling in his eyes.

Raphael gaped at his brother in horror. "Leo?" He whispered after a beat of silence.

Leo fish mouthed; open and closed, searching for something to say. He wasn't sure if he wanted to crawl back under his sheets and hide, or run to Raphael and cling to him while he cried. "Raph-" His voice was raspy, throat blocked with a lump of emotions. "You're alive-"

Before he could continue his younger brother charged him. Raphael crashed against Leo, tucking Leo's head under his chin and squeezing him tightly. "Of course I'm alive." Raphael covered Leo's head with short kisses. "You just had a bad dream."

Leo's hands skimmed up Raph's body, feeling him, verifying to himself that this was his brother standing here. When his brain allowed him to register that, yes, yes this is Raphael. Leo's tears started to trickle down his face. He pressed his face into Raph's neck. "I can't- I- Raph" He hiccups twice, the lump in his throat making it near impossible to speak. "I love you Raph." He forces out.

Raph shakes his head and tightens his hold. "Leo, I thought you said you beat your fears?" Raphael caresses the back of Leo's head and rocks them gently. "Why are these dreams still here?"

"Because of you." Leonardo cries out, digging his fingers into Raphael's biceps. Beginning to tremble in fear, in his loves arms. "You get kidnapped, beaten, ki- I can't even say it."

"Leo stop it. None of that is gonna happen, and you know what- even if it does, you have our whole family to help you." Raphael kisses Leo's forehead softly. "If I was ever taken from you it wouldn't be for long, you'd get me back Leo."

Leo shakes his head. "You can't say that for sure-"

"Shut up already." Raphael lifts the sheets and slips into bed beside Leo, tucking the older terrapin under his chin. "Leo I'm not going anywhere willingly. And if someone tries to take me, I'll fight. You'll fight." The room is quiet for a moment, the only sound Leo's ragged breaths. "I have the same fear Leo. You've been kidnapped before. I have almost lost you countless times and I never know when it will happen again. This life we live is dangerous, it's something we have to live with. You can't waste all this energy being afraid of something we can't control."

"You won't lose me either Raph." Leo whispers as he raises his arms to wrap around his brother. "We'll just have to fight to keep it from happening."

Raphael nods and dips his head down to steal a sweet kiss. "Exactly. Now get some sleep. I'm not going anywhere."