Hello everyone. I'm sorry that it's been so long, but I thought I'd level with you all, if for nothing else than to assuage my guilty conscience. I'm not going to finish this story.

Back when I began writing it several years ago I was going through some incredibly dark things. It was cathartic to pick up the threads of this character I had been reading about. Shikako's grief and depression were really relatable and as I began to write about her, to pick up her mindset, I used it as a vessel to pour out all my passion and personal grief. I think that's why some of the more emotional scenes resonated with people so well, they came from a very real place inside of me.

As years have passed I've pursued some personal healing which has made me drift further and further apart from this tale. I'm not sure what writing is like for other authors, but for me it's always been a personal process. Everytime throughout this past year that I've tried to pick this story up again, sinking back into this dark place has been "triggering", for lack of a better term.

I've wrestled with leaving it, for the sake of my own sanity, but I personally hate when I'm left on a cliffhanger. I know it's not much, but here's the rest of the plot as I had it written. I've collected all my post it notes, my emails to myself, snippets from brainstorming sessions with friends and the like, and I've tried to compile it into a somewhat coherent series of events.

My deepest apologies for the lack of follow through, but maybe knowing how this story was going to end with sooth some of the hurt.

Also, I've started on my own writing project. With this burden off my chest I've picked up the pen again. For those that like my writing style and want to see more, be on the lookout for a new story in the coming months.

Regards,

Ally

REMAINING KISHI KAISEI PLOT:

The large group attends a private viewing ceremony wherein the Jade Hand perform a live version of the Kazekage's royal legend about the lizard and the sun

Shikako has a moment of clarified horror wherein she realizes that the story is a love story

She starts to panic and her brain spirals into a frantic series of realizations as she begins to wonder if Gaara might have some kind of feelings for her

Halfway through the performance one of the actors comes on stage in different make-up

Shikako realizes that it's actually the merchant that produced that Endurance: Words of Truth key

She realizes that she's the only one in the audience that knows he's not one of the actors

She realizes also that the man is about to terrorize the people in the room with her

The merchant announces that he's locked them all in the building with an impenetrable seal, one that someone heartlessly claimed wasn't worthy to be sold in the likes of Konoha. As an act of revenge, he's going to prove it's worth by destroying the famed group the Jade Hand by locking everyone in the room with a bomb

She moves to react during the man's crazed speech

Gaara, who's sitting next to her, reacts first

Gaara saves literally everyone in the entire room by cocooning the bomb in a protective shield of sand. It goes off anti climactically

Gaara saves the day, but the area is completely destroyed

Everyone involved is pulled into a make-shift office for Tsunade

They debrief

It's saturday night by this point

After the entire story is revealed, Shikako begs to stay late to speak with Tsunade

Tsunade acquiesces and Shikako begs the hokage to release her from the panel's duties, putting her back onto active duty

Tsunade reveals that it's not actually her call

Tsumade reveals that there was a long standing agreement between the previous Hokage and Kakashi that he wouldn't take on a Genin team, he would take on Genin apprentices, meaning that technically, until Shikako and her teammates rise to the rank of full Jonin, Kakashi gets the final say in directing their training

Meaning technically, Tsunade never benched Shikako. Kakashi did

Shikako is floored and betrayed and leaves the office in a complete fit

She is hell bent on tracking down Kakashi and she searches him out

The trail leads her deep into the heart of the city, where the nightlife is thrumming in full swing once more

Shikako can't find Kakashi, but she happens to spot one of his dogs out of uniform. The dog notices he's been rumbled and makes a pretty good run for it

Shikako turns a corner, almost losing the dog, only to run into Sai

Shikako asks Sai if he saw Kakashi's dog come through just a moment ago

Sai, acting very strangely, tells her to follow him and that he will lead her straight to Kakashi

Shikako only follows him briefly before she has misgivings that something is even more unusual than normal about Sai's demeanor, but before she can back out Sai meets up with his contact

Sai's contact is the man named Izanagi, the one that invited Shikako to go to a poker tournament

Not wanting to break Sai's cover, Shikako plays along with Sai who is acting as a party interested in the Poker game. Shikako vouches for Sai and the two of them follow Izanagi

Shikako has every intention of breaking away and backing out at the last moment until they arrive at the Flying Frog and she realizes that there might be some kind of infiltration going on

Once the two of them pass through the Flying Frog's entrance, they pass through a seal that negates the formation of chakra outside a living vessel through the usage of natural chakra. Unable to even flare her chakra, Shikako bides her time for a good moment to escape

Its to a stronger degree than the seal that was used on her during the Chunin exams

Shikako is trapped during the beginning of the tournament and sits down to play

One of the players on another table turns out to be Sasuke

Shikako realizes she's stumbled onto a sort of clandestine sting operation and has no clear idea what's going on

Deciding that she needs to leave before she throws a wrench into plans, Shikako plays for a couple more rounds before she purposely loses

Izanagi realizes that she lost on purpose

Izanagi and his crew isolate Shikako and things start turning south

Kakashi, Sasuke and Sai are all physically present and all watch as Shikako is hustled to another part of the building

They take her deeper and deeper, into an old and dank part of the building

They lead her into a long, dark hallway with a single door at the end

Shikako has no weapons, no chakra but still makes short work of taking down the civilian men. Hoping that she can still avoid disrupting whatever clandestine mission Sasuke and Sai are involved in, Shikako quietly searches for a back exit to use. She decides to explore down the other end of the hallway
Shikako finds out that the end of the hallway leads to an abandoned laboratory

Shikako quickly deduces that the lab was one of Orochimaru's

Shikako is caught in a trap as she enters the lab

The trap was intended for the fourth hokage, but shikako triggers it by walking through with the yondaime's hiraishin seal, stored inside her storage seals on her arms

Shikako is thrown into a mind arena with an Orochimaru copy

Orochimaru attempts to mind wipe Shikako

Copy-Orochimaru realizes that Shikako is a reincarnation and starts to pick apart the threads of Shikako's identity

Shikako begins to unravel, struggling against the mental influence

Shikako barely clings to her sanity and begins to shatter

Shikako relives a bunch of eventful moments in her life

Shikako holds on to the last, the strongest, the best thread of her sanity - the one piece of her identity that is an unshakable truth: She is shikamaru's sister

Shikako defeats Copy-Orochimaru and acknowledges a lot of things to herself: that she is depressed and confused and scared by her circumstances, that she misses her old life, that she doesn't feel like she fits and doesn't feel like she belongs, and finally, that she has worth as a person and holds an important place in this new life, this new world

Shikako comes out of the mind-scape to realize that the trap had a physical component as well

Shikako is injured, exhausted and emotionally and mentally frayed

Izanagi's men come looking for him and find Shikako in an exhausted state

She is unable to defend herself but before she can, the building is literally ripped to shreds

Sasuke, Kakashi, Tenzo, Sai and Shikamaru are all there and they wreck the fuck out of the building to get to Shikako and free her

Shikako is rescued by her collective group of friends and relatives

Shikako wakes up Sunday morning in her own bed, Shikamaru by her side

He wakes up and tells her what happened after she was incapacitated: Sai sent an ink animal requesting assistance right before they entered the fight, which Shikamaru encountered first because he was trying to tail Shikako. Shikamaru alerted the Hokage's office directly, realizing at once that Shikako had stumbled onto a clandestine operation. Shikako had unwittingly ruined a three-pronged mission, spearheaded by Kakashi and Tenzo in which they used the features in one of Orochimaru's recently uncovered old labs to meet with Sai and receive information from him about ROOT. The plan had been to sneak Sai into the building under the ruse that Anbu were clearing out an illegal gambling ring, when in reality Sai would utilize the chakra nullifying properties of the building to circumvent certain parts of Danzo's seal of silence. Sai was to contact Kakashi and Tenzo inside the location, because the field would render the seal placed on his tongue inert, allowing him to converse with the team. Sasuke had entered the premises the week prior to test this feature by using his own cursed seal and observing the effects on it, thereby verifying its validity. When Shikako entered and was subsequently kidnapped, every single person involved abandoned the mission and acted to save Shikako instead.

Shikako feels a wave of overwhelming guilt that her actions directly led to the failure of one of the best chances Tsunade had at digging up dirt on Danzo

Shikako and Shikamaru finally have their heart to heart

Shikako is able to put into words how she feels about him and the others, due in no small part to the fact that she was forced to confront her true feelings about herself and about this life while she was fighting Copy-Orochimaru in the mindscape

Shikamaru and her resolve things and the two of them join their parents for a celebratory lunch, celebrating Yoshino's return to the workforce

Shikako heals a bit through the ritual of being around her family

Shikako teases her brother about medical devices

Shikaku and Shikamaru both shout "NO" (shikamaru because of his horror and embarrassment, Shikaku because he immediately deduced that line of thinking and felt horrified himself)

Shikako and Shikamaru tease their dad

Their mom remains oblivious, but begs to be in on the joke

Shikaku looks a bit ill and insists it's "classified"

Shikako and Shikamaru feel the final piece of healing slide into place when they laugh at their father together

Shikako leaves the house to debrief with Tsunade

On her way there she is intercepted by Pakkun

Shikako feels a fresh wave of anger about Kakashi benching her and follows Pakkun's silent invitation

She trails after the dog, straying further and further away from the city

She ends up at training seven's favorite training grounds

Kakashi is there

Shikako feels her anger and hurt and betrayal boil over and she attacks

There is an epic battle, starts out really full of bitterness and rage. Ends with the final purging of Shikako's anger.

It ends on the water. Shikako floats, feeling at peace.

Shikako lays down to cloud watch in apathy on the water's surface

Kakashi settles down on his haunches next to her

He carefully starts talking about how hard it was for him as a child to become a part of a team, to trust his peers and to listen to his sensei's advice

Shikako accuses Kakashi of finding her inadequate, not good enough

Kakashi awkwardly informs her that this wasn't a punishment, it was meant to be a vacation

Shikako is incredulous

Kakshi tiredly admits that Shikako had been spiraling out of control and he had known that she wouldn't be as suited to an undercover operation as Sasuke, as well as the fact that she needed to slow down and take a break

He had benched her in the hopes that she would slow down and talk to someone

Shikako feels the wind leave her sails at that, a bit sheepish

Kakashi points out, dryly, that Shikako was just following the time honored Shinobi tradition of having a mental breakdown when faced with paperwork

Shikako giggles wetly and agrees

Kakashi carefully, softly, admits that Shikako is very precious to him and that there are no lengths he wouldn't go to to keep her safe. He points out that, in that way, he is just one of many many people in her life that feel the same way. Shikako is overwhelmed by love and gratitude ...right up until Kakashi slyly points out that there is a certain someone from the land of the wind who might feel the same and isn't that strange shikako-chan?

Shikako is instantly exasperated, feeling like if she has to listen to one more overprotective male in her life posturing around Gaara and his siblings, she's going to start knocking heads together

Shikako meets with Tsunade and debriefs about the entire botched Flying Frog encounter, up to and including encountering a lingering piece of Orochimaru's soul that was crafted specifically to trap the fourth hokage

Tsunade officially releases Shikako from the rest of her Panel duties, turning the whole thing over to Yoshe (who is smug and overjoyed but Shikako can't bring herself to care)

Sakura, Ino and Shizune are in the office lobby, hanging out together

They watch Yoshe leave triumphantly only to be stopped by police, led by Shikaku. Yoshe is carted off. Shikaku reveals that Shikamaru took over Shikako's place on the panel to wrap up an ongoing investigation into hate crimes against the Nara clan. Yoshe, rejected by a Nara suitor, had been using the Merchant's guild accounts to siphon money away from the Nara accounts.

Shikako feels things out with Ino, who promptly steamrolls Shikako and is vehement that nothing has changed

Shikako finds out from the three girls that the Sand siblings were in town because one (or all the them) were on trial for war crimes

Shikako is shocked, having no idea that such a thing was even a possibility

It comes out that things weren't looking too good, until yesterday when Gaara went out of his way to save an entire room full of civilians

Shikako thanks her friends for this info and rushes down to the Boar's Garden to find the contingency from the land of the wind is packing up to leave

Shikako begs a moment with the sand siblings to congratulate them on their successful court case

Kankuro scoffs and Temari pulls Gaara aside for his advice on something

Kankuro reveals that Gaara wasn't going to be placed on trial, but when him and Temari were accused, Gaara insisted on being in town for the proceedings as well

The entire debacle was a political jab at the Kazekage's children, a subtle sort of multi-pronged attack designed to discredit Gaara as a viable Kazekage candidate, to undermine his support network, to destabilize the peace treaty between Konoha and Suna in general and to generally fuck everyone involved over

Gaara was considered too high profile of a target once he put his name forward for the promotion to Kazekage, but his brother and sister were identified as a weak spot and consequently the two of them were charged with war crimes pertaining to the invasion

It remained unclear who the perpetrator of the accusations was, as they had to have originated within the land of wind, but it was clear that councilman Danzo lent credibility to the whole affair through Konoha's end

Gaara and his siblings were fully acquitted of all crimes and were on their way back to the land of wind to claim Gaara's rightful place as Kazekage

Shikako is floored by this new information and touched that Kankuro would be thoughtful enough to reach out to her in her time of distress when he himself was under such immense pressure

The moment of truth arrives and Shikako quietly asks for a private moment with Gaara, who agrees

The two of them wander away from the rooms, into the Boar's Garden gardens

Shikako ends up spilling her soul to Gaara and the two talk for a very long time

Shikako nervously asks if Gaara harbors some kind of romantic feelings towards her and Gaara quietly admits that he isn't sure, but he wants to know what prompted the line of questioning

Shikako admits that the idea occurred to her when they watched the private showing of the Suna story about the lizard and the sun, and how she realized that it was a romantic tale

Gaara admits that yes, it is a common story shared between lovers and goes even further to admit that (were he absolutely ANYONE else from Suna) his gesture with the red sash could be considered a proclamation of romantic intent and/or courtship (and indeed, that his brother and sister had both interpreted it as such)

Gaara goes on to share another facet to the story, one that he identified with deeply and also one that he wanted Shikako to identify with as well, because it seemed important to him. He informs her that "The lizard was strong because it found something that gave it the purpose to endure all things" and that he believes Shikako has found that purpose already, has always had that purpose (which is why she is such a driven person) but that he hopes she becomes like the lizard in the story, able to endure all things.

Shikako and him part on uncertain terms, though Shikako makes it clear that she has a purpose driving her forward in life that she will not allow herself to become distracted from

Gaara agrees he is the same way and wishes her luck

Shikako gives him a hug and admits he is now one of her precious people

Gaara hugs her back

The two part ways on friendly terms and the sand siblings leave Konoha for good

Shikako puts her headband back on and heads back to the village with the clear thought that she's wasted enough of the winter. It's time to go to work.

Temari, Gaara, and Kankuro are on the road home, crossing the final checkpoint between Suna and Konoha

As they enter the land of wind, Temari pulls a small green box out of her robes and hands it to Gaara

She informs him that is was a gift for Gaara from Shikako, but she was only allowed to give it to him once they were back in their own country

Gaara opens it

Temari and Kankuro (metaphorically) SHIT BRICKS when Gaara tilts his head back and starts laughing

They peek over his shoulder, burning with curiosity about this gift of Shikako's

Inside is the mangled remnants of the Endurance: Words of Truth key, hanging on a silky green cord like a piece of jewelry with an unsigned note that reads

"Proof that we are friends"