Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, but I do own a rather large amount of its merchandise. And a straw hat, but that's a bit beside the point

April Fools

By Chou

Chapter 1 – The Morning After What?

It was morning on the open seas, the Going Merry drifting towards wherever the tide took it. Inside the men's quarters on the ship, Sanji stirred in his hammock.

Something was…weird. He had a hangover, but that wasn't it. The Straw Hat Pirate Crew had partied hard last night, celebrating…something…oh, that's right, Luffy Day. Luffy had, out of the blue, declared it Luffy Day and had ordered a party.

Sanji tried to raise his arm to brush some hair out of his left eye, when he realized something. There was an arm pinning his down, lying across his chest. Still not fully awake, Sanji slowly turned to see who the arm's owner was. He saw. He blinked. Then, since she was still there, he blinked a few more times.

As near as his eyes could tell, she was real. Nami-san was snuggled very tightly against his shoulder. Slowly, he worked one of his arms free and touched her hair. Yep, she was very much real. The second he touched her, she pulled closer to him and murmured "Sanji-kun…" sleepily.

Right about then was when Sanji's brain started to shut down from shock. After a few minutes of brain inactivity, Sanji managed to think clearly enough to review his options in the current situation. One option involved getting the strongest drink he could find and throwing it down his throat, to help counter the shock. Unhappily, there was no hard liquor nearby. Another option was to faint, from joy or shock. That, however, was rather unmanly.

Then Sanji's brain registered one very alarming piece of info: despite the fact that the angelic, lovely treasure of the sea from the gods that the wisest beings in the world granted the beautiful name Nami was lying in his bed with him, he couldn't remember doing…certain activities… that would require her presence in the bed. So, Sanji lay back and tried to think. It was hard to remember what happened last night. He recalled bits and pieces of things:

Robin-chan challenging Zoro to a drinking match and winning… he still wasn't sure how that happened; Luffy and Usopp getting into the grog and yelling their heads off until they passed out, stuff like that. It was a great party, and Sanji remembered getting happily drunk off his ass on some fine wine. What he didn't remember was how Nami-san got into his bed. Needless to say, this bothered him quite a bit.

He wasn't bothered so much by Nami-san's sacred presence in his bed…truth be told, he was quite pleased about that, even with his hangover. But the fact that she was in his bed, wrapped around him implied that certain…things…had happened that he had no memory of. As near as he could tell, he had had sex with a woman he considered no less than divine in her beauty and everything else last night…AND HE COULDN'T REMEMBER A THING OF IT! He would've cried, if Nami-san hadn't woken up right then.

Sanji looked at her, and she at him. He blinked. She blinked. He wasn't sure what was going to happen: he half-expected instant death, or something along those lines. Imagine his surprise when he saw her blush, heard a breathless and shy, "Sanji-kun, you were…wow…"

Sanji's shock, pride, and joy were replaced quickly with the depths of sorrow…Nami-san's words confirmed it: he had done the deed with Nami-san, and had absolutely no memory of it. How could fate be so damned cruel to him!?

Sanji tried to keep the confusion that was raging through his brain off his face. Nami looked at him questioningly. "Sanji-kun? Don't you remember?"

Sanji looked at her, his gut going cold. "Nami-san, I, I must've drunk more than I thought: I can't remember anything about last night!"

Nami's eyes flashed with hurt surprise, and she hid her face in the pillow.

She spoke in a hurt tone, muffled by the pillows. "Oh…I see how it is. So all those words you said last night, all those" --a blush-- "things you did, you don't remember? Ha! A likely story." Nami's voice was the epitome of hurt surprise, and it broke Sanji's heart.

Sanji was panicking. This morning, which should've been the happiest in his life, was going downhill fast. He reached over to Nami's shoulders to try and comfort her. "Honestly, Nami-san, whatever I said last night, I meant! I just can't REMEMBER any of it!"

Without hesitation, Nami shook him off and got out of the bed. With her back to him, she spoke in as cold a tone as she could manage. "Fine. I see how it is. Goodbye, Sanji." She knew without looking back that Sanji's jaw was probably on the floor, so she kept her eyes forward as she walked through the door of the men's quarters, slamming it behind her.

Sanji leaped out of his cot, still wearing his boxers, socks, and oddly enough, his shirt. "Nami-san~! Wait~!" He ran after her, and barreled through the door, intent on proving his innocence.

It was the laughter that stopped him short. The crew minus Zoro, who was sleeping on the deck, was waiting for him, Nami included. They were laughing their asses off, even the usually calm Nico. Finally Nami calmed herself to the point of being able to speak, and smiled at the increasingly confused Sanji. "April Fools, Sanji-kun!"

Sanji's jaw hit the floor. He pointed a finger at Nami, and tried to sputter out a sentence. "Nami-san. You. We. Didn't? What?" He took a deep breath, trying to get out a complete sentence. "What the hell is going on?!"

Nico smiled at him, and spoke, perfectly calm. "Well, Sanji, you were very drunk and flirty last night. Mostly very drunk. So, I set up this prank on you. Today is April Fools Day, so it all fits, wouldn't you agree?"

Sanji's head tilted down, his hair covering both his eyes for once. Eventually, he looked up and grinned. "Yeah, that was a good one. I'm gonna go get some pants on, and make breakfast. Call you when it's ready." With that, he sauntered off back into the men's quarters.

Luffy and Usopp wandered off still laughing at the look on Sanji's face when he came through the door. Nami went to go put on some fresh clothes. As such, only Nico heard the sound of Sanji kicking something in the room very hard. Then he calmly emerged to prepare breakfast.

Nico smiled. So far, everything was going according to plan.

Author's Notes: What is Nico's sinister plot, and what ill does it bode for our heroes?! Or is it a good plot, that'll bring warm fuzzy feelings to our heroes? Find out in the exciting next chapter! Poor Sanji, it hasn't been his day so far…