A Lot Can Change in a Night

Phil cleaned the kitchen alone. Not that it was even dirty, as that night he was the only one eating dinner in the flat he shared with Dan. They often cook together, eat together while watching anime, and later clean together, but tonight Phil was alone. And he resented it.

-two hours earlier-

"Hey Phil, I'm leaving for my date now!" Dan shouted through Phil's closed door (not that Phil needed a reminder). Phil strolled over to the door, composing his face into a plastic smile just as he opened the door for Dan.

"Phil, I'm really excited for this one. I really like her. She's different," Dan said eagerly. "Do I look okay? Is my hair straight all over? What about my fringe? I keep getting fringe gaps and-"

"Dan!" Phil interrupted, "You look great." Phil stared straight into Dan's warm brown eyes, wishing Dan would give him the time, the chance, to tell him exactly how great. From his tight jeans which showed off his sexy legs, to his cute jumper with sleeves just long enough for him to have sweater paws, to his eyes. Phil always came back to his eyes. Dan had long eyelashes that framed his chocolate-colored orbs perfectly, and the color of them was so warm, Phil wanted to get lost in it.

"Thanks, dude. Wish me luck," Dan said with a cheeky grin as he turned from the threshold of Phil's room and jogged out the front door (he was running a bit late, as usual). Phil shut his door, ambled over to his bed, and flopped down onto it. He let out a long sigh. Neither of them had been on many dates in the past few years of living together, but out of the two of them, Dan had definitely been on more. Maybe it was because Phil's heart really wasn't in it; he already knew who he loved.

He didn't know if it was romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, but Phil loved Dan with all his heart. He knew there could never be room for anyone else. But it seemed his was a doomed and unrequited love. So Dan continued to go on the occasional date, leaving Phil at home to go through the routines they normally share.

Which was why, after staring at the ceiling for a while and finally eating a simple, stir-fried dinner, Phil was left cleaning up the kitchen alone. He took out his frustration by scrubbing at the counter vigorously. He wished Dan would just be happy with him. Why did he need to bring someone else into their lives? Phil was perfectly content living with his flatmate, being on the radio, and making videos.

He eventually retreated to his room and started replying to some tweets from fans in hopes of improving his mood. Just when he could feel the corners of his mouth beginning to turn up rather than down, he heard the front door open. But instead of the quiet shuffling of Dan walking to his room, Phil heard a female voice.

Dan had brought the girl home? This was an entirely new experience. Dan had said he really liked this girl, but Phil hadn't thought it would escalate so quickly. He supposed this was a normal occurrence for most people with a flatmate, but somehow this possibility had never crossed his mind. He should not have to sit by while the man he loved brought someone else into his own flat. Oh God, would he be able to hear them?

With that thought, Phil quickly grabbed his headphones from his bedside drawer and immersed himself in listening to Muse. He succeeded in not being able to hear anything except his favorite band, but he couldn't stop his brain from thinking too much. His mind reeled, thinking of what Dan and whatever-her-name-was could be doing not twenty feet away. Phil closed his eyes and tried to relax. He knew it was getting late, but he was scared to remove his headphones. After he'd listened to two entire albums, though, he was done cowering in his room trying to shield his ears.

He took off his headphones and put them back in the drawer. He didn't hear anything, so he thought it was probably safe to venture out of his room. He knew he needed to have a talk with Dan and tell him how he really felt because there was no way Phil could get through another night like that. Even if Dan rejected him, he could at least give Phil a warning next time he decided to bring someone home after a date.

Standing in the hallway, Phil couldn't hear any sound at all coming from Dan's room, and as he didn't see stray shoes or a purse anywhere, he figured now was the time to talk to Dan. But somehow his resolve seemed to have decreased as he walked from his room over to Dan's. He stood outside Dan's room trying to work up the courage to knock. He finally placed a couple of hesitant taps on Dan's door, which Dan immediately swung open.

"Phil, hey. I was just going to come talk to you. We really need to talk. I-"

"Yeah, Dan. Actually, we do need to talk," Phil cut Dan off. "That was really unfair to me, you know? You told me you were going on a date, not that you were bringing someone home tonight so you could have sex while I was curled up in my room trying to distract myself! Do you even know how that feels? Although I guess you couldn't possibly know seeing as how you obviously don't feel the same way about me as I feel about you-" Phil's eyes widened as he realized what he'd just said.

"Phil," Dan said calmly, "We didn't have sex. We didn't do anything like that."

Phil quickly replied, "Then why did you bring her home? Why was she in your bedroom?"

Dan took a deep breath. He stepped backwards a few paces into his room, sat down on the bed, and motioned for Phil to sit next to him. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. That was why I brought her home, although she was the one who suggested it. I went along until we were making out in here," he gestured to the room, "and I realized I wasn't feeling anything. Obviously it was pleasant; she was pretty and nice. But I didn't feel a spark. And...well." Dan paused for a second and took another breath. "Even while I was kissing her, she wasn't the one I was thinking about."

At this statement, Phil looked up to meet Dan's eyes. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. It almost sounded like Dan was saying he loved Phil back...but he couldn't. No, Phil knew deep down that would never happen. "Who were you thinking about, then?" Phil asked. "I thought you really liked this girl…?"

Dan peered into Phil's sparkling blue eyes, and after a few seconds of intense staring, let out a chuckle. "Oh my God, you absolute spoon. Do you still not get it?" He paused. "Phil, I was thinking about you."

"Oh," Phil whispered. His eyes widened slightly, and he felt his heart leap into his throat. It was true. He had already known Dan loved him as a friend, but now it seemed there might be something more.

"Yeah." Dan continued, "Would you wanna...um...sleep in here tonight? With me? It's already pretty late." He glanced quickly at his phone, which brightly displayed the time as 1:24am.

Phil smiled, finally recovering from his initial shock, and replied, "Of course. I'd love that." Dan grinned back at him. Dan stripped down to his underwear, and Phil, already wearing pajama bottoms, removed his shirt, both feeling slightly self-conscious but not uncomfortable as they settled under Dan's duvet. They lay across from each other, each looking into the other's eyes and smiling stupidly as they reveled in this newfound luxury they got to share.

Dan finally interrupted the silence. "Turn around. I want to be the big spoon."

Phil pouted. "Why do you get to be the big spoon?"

"Because I make the best big spoon ever. Just turn around." Phil complied and felt Dan's arms wrap around him as he nestled against Dan's chest.

"You're right. You are the best big spoon ever." Dan's only response was gently placing a kiss on the top of Phil's head. Wrapped in their cozy bubble of blankets and warmth, both of them quickly grew sleepy.

Just as they were both about to plunge into the silent spell of sleep, Dan whispered against Phil's hair. "I love you, Philip Lester."

"I love you too, Daniel Howell." Phil smiled again, thinking this was better than any dream as he dozed off, feeling happy and safe in the arms of his best friend.