A/N: Edited and reposted 11/2/17

Roy gave his uninvited guest/seemingly permanent resident of his office the fifth withering glance in as many minutes. The obnoxious blonde woman ignored him.

Again.

She was just sitting there on his couch, balancing a pencil by the eraser on the tip of her nose. Nice to see all that training we put into her hasn't gone to waste, he thought crossly as he scribbled his signature on yet another form. Of all the officers she could have bothered, did she really have to bug him? Hadn't he put up with enough of her crap and smart-mouthing to last a lifetime or three?

Clearly the Gate was messing with him for the sheer fun of it.

Now she had a pencil balanced on her nose and five in a sort of pyramid-cone-like thing on her left hand. Is this what she did in her spare time? He cleared his throat, making her break her concentration and all six pencils drop. Cursing, she whipped around to give him one of her infamous glares.

"What was that for, Colonel Useless?"

Roy rolled his eyes, keeping an eye on her and the other on his paperwork. "One, I'm not a Colonel anymore. I'm a General, and it would be nice if you actually addressed me by my proper rank for once. Two, I'm not useless. Three, you really need to find a new place to hang out. I don't mind the company most of the time, as long as you aren't blowing things up, but have they really not given you a new assignment? It's been two years, Fullmetal, you need something to do that isn't bothering me."

The golden woman pouted, slouching into the couch. "I don't have anything else to do." She tugged on her long braid in frustration.

In the past two years since the Promised Day, Edith had let her hair grow out. It came down past her pert, rounded rear. Not that Roy was looking. No, he simply…admired the assets of his pretty subordinate. Or was it former? He still wasn't sure, now that the military had been reorganized. Edith Elric had sort of slipped through the cracks of Grumman's administration. Whether it was on purpose or an accident, Roy was grateful to the Furher. She and her brother had been in no shape to deal with military matters right after the Promised Day.

"Come on, Lieutenant-Colonel Elric," he laid emphasis on her rank as her nose scrunched up in distaste. "Surely you can come up with something to do that isn't lazing about my office. What happened to your trip West? "

Edith shifted uncomfortably, a rather sheepish look on her face. "Um, well…the people of Gallica didn't want me around?" She offered weakly.

(The truth was she had gone West for a couple of weeks. As it turns out, golden former alchemists who have a knack for finding trouble in empty rooms turn into legendary figures when they accidentally blow up three towns sans alchemy in the space of a week. The tale of "Or Diable Elle" would be passed down for centuries in Gallica, confusing Amestrian historians for years.

When asked, Edith would deny any and all involvement until her dying day.)

Roy sighed, knowing better to ask for details. If he didn't know, then he could deny any involvement or responsibility for her actions. "What about your research?"

"Completed it while I was in the hospital and recovering back home. What did you think I've been doing for the past two years?" Her tart voice flowed over him like water as Roy cast his eyes about, trying to think of something, anything, for Edith to do. His eyes fell on a recent letter he had received. Bingo.

"Why don't you become a teacher?"