I am back, and I bring Kinky!Legolas with me! Thank you for not abandonong me and my erratic posting! We're on the road to 100 reviews! I got a nice surprise for the 100th reviewer, so stay tuned!

Ruby had been pestered by Éowyn since their arrival at Edoras. She was adamant about dressing Ruby in fine garments since she found out who she was, but Ruby was very much enjoying the freedom of clothing in her scales. Ultimately, she conceded in wearing either a skirt, or a shirt, she would show her scales proudly at the feast. Éowyn chose the skirt, though still grumbling about 'proper ladies'. So now, Ruby was standing in front of the mirror, a flowing black skirt to go with the scales shining on her front and neck. She left her back and arms bare, leaving Éowyn very disgruntled at being threatened with burnt hair, though her hair was down to cover her skin.

A knock on the door preceded Legolas entering in a fine elven tunic, his hair braided finely. Ruby couldn't wait to mess it up in their bed. Legolas recognized her lustful look, but in respect to Éowyn, only smirked at her.

"I suppose I should thank the Lady of the Rohirrim for making you wear something?"

"I'm afraid I failed at convincing her to wear a dress. Or happier colours." Éowyn gathered the brushes and oils she had used on Ruby's hair.

"I am proud of who I am, and I pay respect to those fallen in battle." Ruby adjusted her skirt. Éowyn muttered under her breath and left the room.

"You look amazing." Legolas strode up behind her and bent low to kiss the line where her scales vanished on her shoulder "I have half a mind to keep you here instead of letting the others see you.

"You would lock me up all alone in here?" Ruby mock pouted.

"Who said you would be alone?" Legolas circled her predatorily, slowly backing her into the wall. Ruby lifted her arms and pulled him closer by the braids behind his ears.

"I want you." She whispered huskily. Their lips crashed, and all became a blur, until they were pulled from their haze by a strangled cry of suprise.

"Monah, for the love of all that is proper, we are sharing this room!" Aragorn hurried to leave the room they were given. Legolas let Ruby's legs slip from around his waist and buttoned his tunic as she straightened her skirt.

"I am not complaining." Legolas spoke lowly as they listened to Aragorn curse at them as he dashed inside to fetch his clothes and hurry off to the bathing halls. "Though I wonder why you are so...receptive to me lately." He watched as Ruby fiddled with her sharp, black nails. "You know something?" he took her hands and slowly led her to the great hall.

"Dwalin gave me some books he had found in Erebor, some thirty years after...after I moved to Fanghorn. About the Dovah. It said the Dovahdin...it said we are...fertile when we find our One. Extremely so when we find our True One. And even more so in times of plenty."

"Is that what is happening to you?" Legolas put his arm around her and smiled as he felt her Heat.

"I had plenty to eat at the battle. Peace is coming." She shrugged, thinking logically. "And you...I believe you are my True One." She stopped to look up at him, a rare shy smile on her lips.

"What is the difference between your One and your True One? Elves only have one other half to their souls." Legolas blinked in that adorable way she loved when he was confused.

"The Dovah are not monogamous." She sighed in exasperation as he went rigid, looking down his nose at her in apprehension. She pinched it and pulled him down by its tip to her height. "Though we can only procreate with our True One." She released him and stared in to his eyes. "We survive the deaths of our Ones. It is painful, but we do. We do not, however, survive the deaths of our True Ones." She caressed his cheek. "Turn that frown upside down and be glad you don't have to share me."

"Even if I did have to, I would steal you away and hoard you to myself." Legolas kissed her possessively. "But." He straightened. "I think I just found the solution to our problem."

"What problem?"

"I don't want you pregnant while this quest is still unfinished. And we won't make our first child in someone else's home." Ruby waited for him to finish thinking. "I don't want you unsatisfied. We should find someone to your liking at the feast."

Ruby was torn between kissing him for thinking of her needs and slapping him for thinking she would want anyone other than him. Observant as he was, he rolled his eyes after deciphering her thoughts with just one look.

"Don't think I'll leave you alone with just anyone in our bed. Did you think I wouldn't want in on the fun?" His lips pulled to the side in a mischievous smirk. "Come on, let's get hunting." He offered her his arm. Just as they were stepping into the crowd, Haldir walked past them, nodding politely to Legolas and smiling at Ruby. "No, mh-mh." Legolas led a laughing Ruby away to the table with refreshments.

They mingled, Ruby attracting more looks than was comfortable for Legolas, but he knew she could take care of herself, and she didn't stray too far from him, always coming back with a goblet of wine on her hand and a smile on her lips.

"Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead!" Théoden's voice cut through the chatter and music.

"Hail!" Everyone drank in a moment of silence.

Ruby was watching Éowyn talk to Aragorn. He was far too polite to tell her he wasn't interested. She was pulled from her observation of the crowd by Éomer's voice.

"No pauses. No spills." He gave a mug to Legolas.

"And no regurgitation." Gimli added.

"So it's a drinking game?" Legolas was adorable when he was confused. Too bad that evil glint in his eyes ruined the look and made Ruby snort into her goblet, making Éomer look at her inquisitively. She shook her head dismissively and pretended not to notice the Man admiring her figure.

The Men confirmed Legolas' 'doubts' and raised their mugs.

"Last one standing wins." Gimli decreted.

"What'll we drink to?" One of the Men asked.

"Let's drink to victory!"

"To victory!" Gimli gulped down his mug as Legolas carefully started to drink. They both drank, Gimli guzzling his ale, dripping it down his front, Legolas neatly keeping up with him.

"Your Highness." Éomer poured some more wine in Ruby's half-empty goblet.

"Such polished manners are a stark contrast to someone who called me a harlot not a week past." Ruby sipped her wine.

"To be fair, you do dress like one." Éomer bluntly stated, to which Ruby raised her eyebrows in an idea and turned to the tall, blond Man. He was very good-looking.

"If my sight is so offensive to your eyes, Horselord, then look away." She smirked as she saw him roll his eyes.

"Offensive, no. Shocking, yes. If you were not with our Elf friend here, one would think you to be...inviting." he turned to her so they stood toe to toe. Ruby had to crane her neck up to look him in the eyes, but she was used to it.

"And..." She took one tiny step forward and ran her blackened palm up his chest. "would you accept that invitation?"

"Your husband is standing right there." He took her wrist and pulled her hand from his chest, though he did not step back.

"We are not married, if that is what bothers you." Legolas appeared behind Éomer, his drinking game with Gimli long forgotten after he had passed out drunk. Ruby held back a snigger at Èomer's jolt of surprise. Legolas looked at her over the Man's shoulder and nodded at her.

"I'll leave you two to chat." She pulled her wrist from Èomer's grasp and sashayed away. She sat on a bench near the two Hobbits' singing and clapped along. As they finished and downed their drinks, proclaiming the winner, they spotted her.

"Ruby!" Merry hiccupped.

"Rubyyyyy!" Pippin was slurring already and she held her hand out to help him down from the table. He promptly fell in her lap. "Oh, you's so warm..."

"Pippin!" Merry pried him from her as peals of laughter escaped her, her lips pulled back to expose shiny teeth, sharper and longer than they should have been.

"She might be a little scary, at first sight. But I assure you. She will ruin every woman you ever lie with." Legolas still stood behind the Horselord, looking at Ruby laughing at the Hobbits.

"And why are you telling me this?" Éomer's eyes followed the line in the middle of her back to the waist of her skirt as her hair fell to the side.

"Was Ruby not clear enough?" Legolas leaned forward so his chest touched the Man's back. He was taller by 10 centimetres, so his mouth was at the perfect height to whisper in his ear: "My Lady wishes to play with you."

"And what part would you play in all this?" Legolas could feel the body before him trembling slightly.

"You don't honestly think I'd leave a treasure such as her alone in a bedroom with another, do you?" Legolas turned his head and ran his nose along the ear before him. "And I doubt a mere mortal could properly satisfy her. You will need some help." He knew he sounded conceited and snobbish and every bit the Woodland Prince everyone expected his father's son to be, but he also saw the goosebumps forming on the Man's skin.

Éomer tried to form words, some sort of rebuke to the obviously inappropriate plan in the making, but he couldn't. The Elf's whispers in his ears, the alcohol in his belly and the warmth in his loins made up his mind for him.

"I'll go get Ruby." Legolas stepped away from him and stalked over to Ruby. He bent at the waist and whispered something in her ear. She pushed his hair away and looked over at Éomer, who was gathering himself. A predatory smile graced her features.

This was still the King's hall, though, and appearances needed to be kept, so Legolas led Ruby from the party. Éomer swerved between the drunks to the hall, where the couple was walking slowly to the royal chambers, giving him enough time to catch up.

And he would have, had he started walking.

Ruby turned at the lack of footsteps behind them. She saw Éomer rooted to the spot, a mixture of excitement and regret on his face. She backtracked and took his hand, pulling him gently. He swallowed and silently led them to his room. Legolas entered first, Ruby after him, pulling Éomer along. As soon as the door closed, he was thrown back against it with surprising strength for a tiny Woman. He reminded himself she was not Human, and could very well turn him to a pile of ash.

The click of the lock seemed to make all his fears and inhibitions stay outside. He wrapped his arm around her waist and lowered his head for a kiss. He marvelled at the feeling of pure contrast. Her lips were soft and tasted of wine, but her tongue was rough and forked, filling his mouth with the taste of burnt meat. His hands roamed her back curiously, at times over soft flesh, marred with scars, at times over smooth scales, so warm to the touch, he might as well have been holding a stone that had been lying in the sun for hours. He released her for air, only to have his lips be caught by a pair of thinner, considerably cooler lips. He pulled back in surprise to see the Elf smirking down at him. He was much gentler than Ruby, and coaxed him to his own bed.

Now, Ruby knew that Legolas had his fair share of male lovers, and Éomer most certainly did too, having been exiled in a group of Men for so long. They both played an important part in their respective militaries, and were prone to mingle with their officials. As she draped herself across a fur covered divan, she watched the two undress themselves. She knew every inch of Legolas' body, and still she couldn't tear her eyes from him. Her stomach knotted at seeing someone else touching him so intimately. She held herself back from dismembering the pretty Human and instead focused on him. He was a handsome specimen, as far as Men went. Now that he had bathed, his hair was a dark golden, shining in contrast to the dark furs on the bed. He had an angular face, she especially liked his nose.

She was brought out of her musing as Legolas rolled him on his side and rummaged around the drawers by the bed until he found what he was looking for, a bottle of oil. Ruby rose slowly and stepped forward until she was standing at the foot of the bed. She raised her injured hand to rest on the post to her right. Her other hand combed her hair out of her face and slowly trailed down her chest, between her breasts. Her scales retreated with her hand, leaving only the slightest bit of pink peeking over the tip of her breasts. Éomer seemed annoyed that she was still mostly covered. He remedied that by wiggling his fingers in the waistband of her skirt and pulling her on the bed, minding her wrapped arm.

He kissed the side of her neck, lowering himself until he reached her scales. An annoyed huff escaped him, just before he felt a finger circling his opening. Ruby, having waited for the surprise on his face, pulled his face to her chest and finally let her scales melt back into skin. Éomer eagerly took a nipple into his mouth, distracting himself from Legolas' ministrations.

Sooner than she had thought, Éomer bit down on her nipple with a grunt. She gasped and looked up at Legolas kneeling behind the Man. In one swift motion, her skirt was hoisted up and Éomer buried himself in her. The lack of preparation or foreplay didn't bother her, but the Man needed to learn how to please Human Women. But that wasn't her problem. She bit her lip to hold back a grin as he moved between her and Legolas, alternating between sliding inside her and impaling himself on the Elf. His movements were erratic and out of rhythm. Legolas put his hand on Éomer's hip and started guiding him. A groan escaped Ruby at the better angle.

Éomer was panting erratically. Perhaps getting into bed with two beings far more experienced than him wasn't such a good idea. But all his tensions and worries were swept aside as he turned his head and saw said beings kissing. He had never seen a more beautiful sight. With a slightly embarrassing cry, and a violent shudder, he spilled himself inside Ruby, who mewled in pleasure. His muscled milked Legolas' member still inside him, and a mixture of juices ran down their legs.

Éomer collapsed on top of Ruby, who grunted out a laugh. She wasn't satisfied, not by a long shot, but the experience had been fun. She coaxed the Man under the covers, watching as Legolas swiftly cleaned them all up. He then lay on her other side and they both watched the exhausted Human fall to a deep sleep.

"I still want you." Ruby whispered. Legolas made to stand and find their clothes so they could go to their own chambers, but she had other ideas. She turned her back to him and arched her back, her bottom rubbing against his growing member. Legolas growled and snaked his hand under the covers to grab her under her knee and lift her leg. Angling himself correctly, he pushed into her.

They hissed at being united and rocked slowly in bliss. Soon, though, the friction wasn't enough for them and they changed position. Ruby hoisted herself on her hands and knees, her torso hovering over a sleeping Éomer's chest as Legolas slid back inside her. They tried not jostling the bed too much, or even being too loud. But who were they kidding?

Éomer woke with a confused grunt. He blinked up at the situation above him and was answered with two breathy chuckles. Legolas pulled Ruby's shoulders so that she straightened up and sat backwards on his lap, her legs spread wide, her glistening folds hugging Legolas' member in plain view in the light of the morning sun. He watched, mesmerized at the sight, probably still believing he was dreaming. As he watched the erotic display in the middle of his bed, he didn't notice his own hands starting to touch himself. The two set of eyes, one blue and one multicoloured, did, and were highly amused. He did notice, however, that when the couple in front of him achieved climax, so did he.

This time, they all snuggled under the covers after Legolas once again cleaned them up. Ruby was between two larger bodies, but it was she who provided warmth for them with her Heat. Ruby took advantage of the fact that she didn't have to sleep with her weapons, and was in a safe place, and decided to sleep in her preferred position, on her stomach. A familiar hand rested on her hip, after an affectionate squeeze to her bottom. A new, curious one traced her scars. The other two males were lulled to sleep by a very cat-like purring coming from the beauty between them.