A/N: Fairy Tail does not belong to me. Like, at-all. Sad, I know. I'm bummed too.

She was not in the mood to entertain guests. Not. At. All. And if Natsu and Happy decided that they just couldn't live without barging into her apartment today, oho, they had another thing coming.

To say their latest mission didn't go well would be a terrible understatement.

To be fair, they did take down the bandits and their hideout(all with massive amounts of property damage, as expected of Team Natsu), but Erza had accidently taken out the Mayor, who came to congratulate them. And when he woke up, he was, understandably, a bit peeved. But, they were the town's saviors and he graciously accepted Erza's apology—that, and the fact that she was the Titania helped. So, then they wanted to throw a party for them. Which was great.

Then Natsu and Gray happened.

Long story short, town was demolished, bandits were released(and recaptured just as quickly), she lost her clothes(totally Natsu's fault, by the way), and they lost the reward money. You know, for destroying the town.

She blamed her team members—as was usual—and she wanted nothing to do with them. Absolutely nothing. If they showed up, only fifteen minutes after she left them, there was going to be hell to pay. If they showed up in maybe, oh, say, a week? She might consider letting them leave with both their legs. Arms were debatable.

Unlocking her front door, she let out a heavy sigh. Curse it all, her rent was due in a week. If she wanted to keep her apartment, she'd have to take solo missions.

And that was going to go over sooo well with Natsu. He would insist on coming along, with Happy, and Gray would overhear and join them as well. A brawl would begin and Erza would come over to stop it—terrorizing the two while she was at it—and then insist on coming as well. Wendy might join too, if she was around at the time.

And they'd lose her rent money all over again.

"I hate them… So much…"

She hadn't expected anyone to snort in amusement, in a way answering her statement. Her eyes narrowed, moving directly towards the kitchen, where she expected Natsu to be standing, eating her food and grinning. When no pink-haired moron appeared, she looked towards the other side of her apartment, wondering if Gray had snuck in this time. But no Ice Make Mage was grinning at her from the armchair.

"You're being too loud."

There. Her couch. Zeroing in, readying to Lucy-Kick the intruder, she could only stare, jaw going slack at the sight. She blinked. Once. Twice. Thrice. Why, in Mavis' name…?

"What're you doing in my apartment?" It seemed, her apartment was the place to be, whether it was Fairy Tail's Salamander, Titania, Gray, and, now, former(i.e. escaped) criminals.

"We were released, made a deal and all, Blondie. And, napping." A single violet eye, the other forever closed under a deep scar, opened, gazing at her. Well, she was glad he made himself right at home—the jerk, did he just smirk?!—and was comfortable, all sprawled over her couch—he was smirking!—but honestly. How did he get in? "Window was open."

She cursed her pinkhaired partner. "Can't you nap somewhere else?"

"Nope." Her left eye twitched and, the nerve of him, he grinned, showing sharp canines.

"May I ask why?" He was a guest(intruder) and she felt obliged to at-least be civil.

"Na-uh." He was trying her patience. And he was doing it on purpose.

"Then, Cobra, we have a problem." He simply rolled on his side, facing the back of the couch and showing her his back.

She could only stare once more, to be perfectly honest. He was serious about this then? Napping in her apartment?

A smile curled onto her lips. "Don't even think about it, Blondie."

"Oh~? Whatever do you mean?"

"You know exactly what I'm—Do that, and I will call Salamander and his stupid cat here." She huffed out a breath, crossing her arms. "Good girl." She twitched once again.

This was all too much effort and she didn't want to deal with it. "Fine." Turning on her heel, she strode to the wooden chest resting against the wall, digging through it and coming up with a blanket. "Snakes get cold. Have a blanket. I'm taking a bath," and she tossed the obnoxiously pink throw over him—aiming for his head, honestly—and proceeded to her bathroom, picking up a plain green t-shirt, shorts, and undergarments on her way. "You take your nap, I'll take my bath, and we'll all live to see tomorrow."

"Deal."

Crime Sorciere had been too annoying lately and when their fearless leader gave them a few days to themselves(coincidently near Magnolia?) he took it upon himself to find a place away from his psychotic comrades. Which meant the blonde's apartment. Seriously. No one would look for him there.

And, he had to admit, it was all working out wonderfully.

"I'll be out in an hour. Good night." She smiled when he snorted, obviously thinking she was joking.

Lucy Heartfilia does not joke about her baths, especially after that nightmare of a mission.

Now, if Natsu was just smart enough to leave her alone for the rest of the day, Fairy Tail wouldn't lose one of their prized Dragon Slayers.

"He's not that smart, Blondie."

"Huh. Too bad."

Something short, yeah? I blame Eien ni Touko and Dragon'sHost for my new appreciation(ha, ADDICTION) for CoLu. I mean, I don't have the hang of Cobra yet, never having written him before, but I know he's a smug little prick, hence why this is just something short. I guess I just wanted to add to the CoLu archives? Ah well. In time, maybe, I'll write something else for him. I really do like the two of them, to be honest~