A/N: Sometimes when I get writers block I write angst...

Other times I attempt to write humour. This is one of those times.

Wednesday - 3am

In Clarke's defence, this was entirely not her fault.

It was completely out of her control that she had to share a dorm room with one Raven Reyes. The same Raven Reyes that apparently suffered from a mild form of pyromania. It was also completely out of her control that the students on the top floor had nominated her as their de facto leader. It was also completely out of her control that the ground floor hated them.

So, a summary: This was not Clarke Griffin's fault.

"Griffin!" She could have continued walking away, pretending that she hadn't heard Anya's voice over the piercing screech of the fire alarm. It was cold, as 3am always was in the middle of autumn and really all she wanted was to go back into the maybe maybe not on fire dorm building and crawl back into the warmth of her bed.

Instead, Clarke turned around and faced the fuming face off of the deputy ground floor leader. "Hi Anya, how are you doing?"

"It is 3 o'clock in the morning and the top floor of our dorm building is on fire. Again." Rolling her eyes was not an option, but the record should show that Clarke wanted to do it.

The single reason the dorm was currently maybe maybe not on fire was Raven Reyes and her attempt at creating indoor fireworks. The operative word being attempt, because the resounding explosion of her attempt had shocked her out of bed so quickly that she had almost given herself concussion from hitting the floor so hard. The most absurd thing about it was when questioned, it turned out Raven was experimenting with the fireworks, so she could ask Anya out.

Let the record also show that if Raven hadn't hopped her way into a crowd of people Clarke would have beat her with her own crutch.

"Look, I think we got off to a rough start, but we want to find a way to live together in peace." Clarke quickly realised it was not the right thing to say, because ever since college had started four weeks ago it had been one disaster after another in her search for peace with the ground floor.

"I understand. You started a war that you don't know how to end." The finger poking into her chest with every word was entirely unnecessary, but the look in Anya's eyes sent such a huge shiver of terror down her spine that it took a couple of moments for Anya's words to truly register.

There was no war. And if there was the top floor definitely did not start it. "What? No. We didn't start anything!"

Clarke almost stumbled backwards at the force of Anya's hand meeting her chest, pressing a leaflet up against her skin. "This Saturday. 9 am. paintball. Be there or I am going to destroy each. And every. One of you." The first round of finger poking was unnecessary, the second round was just excessive. "Commanders orders." The nickname sent another shiver down her spine, except this time it wasn't from fear.

Three weeks prior

Lexa's hot breaths caressed her face in quick succession and Clarke was completely mesmerised watching the flexing of her jaw. On every inhale she felt their chests gently brush together and dear God was the empty table next to them looking more and more inviting with every passing second. The empty table that was just high enough for her to lift Lexa's body onto and then ravage her senseless on...

It really wasn't fair that their first meeting just one week prior was ruined by one Octavia Blake pushing into the back of her, and hence sending her coffee flying over the incredibly attractive woman in front of her. The incredibly attractive woman who she would much rather be sharing heated looks with over important things like who was going to be on top next.

She wasn't sure what made her gaze shift, but suddenly she was staring straight into Lexa's eyes, the dark green almost lost in the expanding blackness of her pupils. All it would take was one tiny tilt of her head, one minute dip of her chin and their lips would be touching.

Except. Despite how empty the table was, the room around them was most definitely not empty and the clearing of Octavia's throat made her suddenly aware that literally everyone from the top and ground floor was in the TV room around them. Watching them negotiate over the use of the room.

The negotiation had lasted seconds before degenerating into the pair of them moving so close together that their bodies were touching, and then the stare off had began. The intense, heart racing, sweat inducing stare off.

"So..." Clarke could almost hear the impatient tapping of Octavia's foot, but she refused to look away from Lexa, not when her eyes were drilling into hers with such intensity. "Are you two going to make out or agree on a TV schedule?"

They should move away from each other, defiantly, because having a conversation with their bodies so close was just plain weird.

"We get Monday, Wednesday, every other Friday, and every other weekend." Lexa's voice was deeper than usual and she felt her heart almost double in pace.

She cleared her throat before replying, because Clarke knew what happened when she got turned on. What happened was quite frankly hot, the slight husk and the drop in octave of her voice, incredibly sexy. That voice however, was not suitable for negations with the leader of the ground floor. She cleared her throat one more time for good measure. "Hockey and Baseball finals not included."

"Deal." Lexa's hand thrusted out awkwardly between their bodies, because there was literally no room for a handshake.

Reaching out to to meet her she clasped onto Lexa's hand. "Deal."

Their hands jolted together once and then they both froze, because Lexa's breathing hitched. It hitched at the touch of her hand, and seriously, one small tilt and that was it they could be making out.

"Handshakes work better when your bodies aren't touching." Octavia would be missed, and Bellamy probably wouldn't speak to her again, but some crimes were only punishable by death. Interrupting whatever it was that she was currently interrupting between her and Lexa was one such crime.

"Yeah, and with your chest you need to be at least three steps back Griffin." Raven would also be missed.

"Come on now Princess." In the end Bellamy had to physically move her away from Lexa, because neither of them was willing to move first and if she was only a few centimetres nearer she could have caught the pout on Lexa's lips with her own.

Present

This was not how Clarke wanted to spend her Saturday morning. It was cold, and even through the thick gloves on her hands she could feel the chill in the air.

"They're easy to use, look, see here," Raven pointed down to the gun in her hand. "That's the safety." Flicking her finger she felt the spring in the gun recoil. "Then just point and shoot, easy."

"Have you met the ground floor? This is not going to be easy, this," Clarke indicated wildly to the twenty gun wielding members of the top floor. "This is going to be a massacre."

"Look Clarke, we've totally got this." And Clarke would believe Octavia if it wasn't for the next few words she gasped out. "Oh. My. God. They're wearing war paint."

There wasn't a force in the world strong enough to stop her twisting round to look at the approaching enemy. Breathing was something that all humans had to do, so Clarke figured it was perfectly acceptable that the only thought racing through her head was 'breathe, breathe, breathe'.

They were screwed, inexplicably screwed. Her eyes briefly recognised that they were all in fact wearing black smudges of paint around their eyes, but she was pretty sure none of them were even close to pulling it off half as well as Lexa was.

"Oh look, it's Commander Raccoon Eyes and the Grounders." Raven was the reason they were here, so nobody would have really blamed her if she had kicked her cane out from underneath her. If any of the twenty members of the ground floor had heard Raven they didn't show it and Clarke gulped at the sight of them. How the hell Lexa had managed to end up with twenty of the tallest, strongest and quite frankly most terrifying people she had ever seen was beyond her.

"Have you played before?" Lexa finally stopped, leaving a for once respectable distance between them both. Clarke almost missed it, the unmistakeable tone of superiority that had slipped into her voice.

"Yes." That was technically a lie. Murphy and Bellamy had been paintballing once. Sort of. They had spent an hour trying to shoot each other in the ass and then been kicked out. But there was no way in hell she was admitting that to Lexa.

Clarke could see Monroe shacking her head at her out the corner of her vision, her eyes refusing to leave Lexa. "Yo, for those of us that haven't, what are the rules?"

Lexa took a step forwards and Clarke almost had to grab onto Octavia to physically restrain herself from stepping towards her. "I'm sure Clarke," her knees almost buckled from the sound of her own name. "Can tell you."

Yes Clarke could, because really how hard was paintball. Point and shoot. "There are no rules. Get shot and you're out." She didn't turn to look at Monroe, instead she continued staring into those ridiculously dark green eyes. "And no face shots."

"Not what she said last night." Murphy's voice was barely audible. But barely was enough for Clarke to hear and she quickly spun around, shooting a paintball straight into his groin.

There were a lot of things Clarke would not remember about college. The expression on Murphy's face when that tiny bullet of paint had met his groin though, would be with her forever. "You're out asshole." Clarke held her gun in the air and cocked her hip.

"Oh come on, I didn't mean it. Clarke you can't be serious." To prove her point she lowered her gun again, and Murphy threw his hands down to protect himself. "Fine, whatever, I didn't wanna play anyway." If there was a can on the floor she was pretty sure he would have kicked it as he slunk passed. "Jackasses."

This time it was Bellamy that shot him, his paintball landing square on Murphy's ass. "I will destroy you Blake!"

Anya's overzealous huff caught everyone's attention and Clarke turned to watch her lazily crossing her arms. "Have you ladies finished with your fighting or are you all going to shoot each other before we get the chance to."

No one really wins in war and it was always the innocents that got hurt the most. That was the first thing to cross Clarke's mind as she watched a paintball explode on the chest of one of the safety stewards. Her second thought was to run the hell away, because she was not losing this war on a technicality.

"Monroe is out!" The booming voice of one of the stewards echoed out over the loud speakers and she quickly dove behind a tree.

"Oh Jesus, watch it Griffin." Raven had apparently had the same idea about hiding. Both of them turned as they heard the sound of pounding feet on the floor. "You got a plan?"

"Yeah, Raven lay on the ground."

"What?"

"Just-" Pushing over a disabled person was okay in the heat of battle. Clarke was certain those were the words Sun Tzu had written in The Art of War.

To her credit Raven caught herself before her face hit the floor beautifully and considering that just three days ago Clarke had gone flying out of bed when her fireworks had exploded, and had actually hit her face on the floor it was also beautiful payback.

"Hey it's Reyes, you okay?" Carefully shuffling around the trunk of the tree, she spotted the three of them, all of them lowering their guns to help the helpless brunette of the floor. It was her oppertunity. None of them even had the chance to raise their weapons before Clarke had unloaded two paintballs into each of their chests.

"Booyah!" For three grown men they all looked insanely dejected at the deception. It was as they walked away that Clarke spotted her running through the trees. Her ridiculously long trench coat trailing out behind her.

"Get back down!"

"What, why, who's-" She quickly pushed Raven back onto the floor and took up her place behind the tree again.

"Raven!" Anya's panicked voice arrived right on schedule and Clarke quickly stepped out from behind the tree, landing two clear shots on the woman's back.

"Sucker!" Clarke then made the best decision she had possibly ever made. She ran away. Because whilst Anya was out of the game, that didn't mean she wouldn't tackle her to the floor and kill her. The clearing opened up ahead of her suddenly and if her gun hadn't already been raised she was sure Lexa would have shot her on sight.

"I'm surprised you're still in the game. Anya was really looking forwards to shooting you."

"Anya's out."

"She's-" She could see Lexa gulp, even from the distance between them. "Was she shot well?"

"No I got her the same way I got the other three, pushed Raven over then shot her when she was helping."

"You shot three of my soldiers and Anya?"

"You're the one who sent them there to shoot me!" Slowly she started circling around Lexa, careful of the stakes of tyres that littered the area.

"Maybe if you had a bit more control over your floor." It could be the effect of them circling each other or the fact that some of Lexa's war paint had started to run down her face. Either way, Clarke was getting dizzy.

"Maybe if you didn't have such a stick up your ass." Everything happened quickly then. Lexa let off two shots, and Clarke quickly returned them in kind, both diving behind their own stack of tyres.

"Mockery isn't the product of a strong mind Clarke." Lexa's voice echoed out from her hiding place.

It was subtle, the tiny click coming from behind Lexa's tyres, the tiny click of an empty magazine of paintballs being removed from a gun. "I wouldn't expect you to know what a strong mind is Lexa."

It was a good idea that Clarke had, but then something unfortunate happened. Every single stack of tyres in the course was solid, Gustus could throw his body weight into them and they wouldn't even shudder. That was... Every single stack of tyres except the one that Lexa had chosen to hide behind, which in turn was the stack of tyres Clarke was trying to vault over. It was another one of the many events that happened in Clarke's life, that was not her fault.

The first thing Clarke saw when she went barrelling through the loosely staked tyres were Lexa's wide eyes. The first things she felt was the sharp pain of a paintball bursting onto her stomach. The first thing she heard was the almost orgasmic noise rupturing from Lexa's throat.

"You shot me." Clarke let her sentence to trail off into her own groan her body relaxing on top of Lexa's.

Ducking her head she felt another tyre bounce past her. "You shot me."

"We shot each other."

"Get off." Maybe getting off of Lexa was the correct thing to do, but it was Lexa and she was underneath her. The implications of that fact were incredible.

"Normally people buy me dinner first." Clarke was impressed with herself, because that, that was smooth.

"You okay there princess?" She pulled her face away from the side of Lexa's head to see Bellamy's boots in front of her, and she looked up at him.

"I've got her right where I want her." Lexa shuddered underneath her, and she could feel her eyes boring into her face.

Bellamy just nodded once before running away his voice bellowing. "Princess and the Commander are out!"

Octavia couldn't have been far away, and she could hear her voice echoing around the woods around them. "They've both been out for ages!" The sound of paintballs snapping across the bark of a tree interrupted her. "Oh my God, Lincoln you did not just try to shoot me!"

Lexa had apparently chosen to ignore the interruption of the Blake siblings and decided to continue. "Normally people buy me dinner before I get underneath them."

Clarke almost choked on absolutely nothing, because she was not expecting that from the other woman. Swallowing she stared down into Lexa's eyes and saw nothing by sincerity there. "Fine, after this we can go for dinner."

"Yeah?"

Clarke was close enough to Lexa face to see the bright blush underneath the war paint. "Yes."

Maybe there were winners in war. And in this case it was the top floor after Lincoln chose to shoot himself rather than the last remaining top floor participant; Octavia.

A/N: There might be a second part, if there is, it probably won't be soon.