DISCLAIMER: Akira Amano owns the series. I own nothing but any OC's I have created. This fanfiction would not exist if Akira Amano did not create Katekyo Hitman Reborn. She owns it. I'm borrowing the world and messing with it to make a story for fun.

Please don't repost this anywhere. If you want to translate it into another language and repost, just ask.

HIGHLY IMPORTANT WARNING - WARNING - WARNING: There is a Russian site STEALING written fanworks and published original works and posting it without permission from the FF creator. (if you want the name of the site just PM me). That site could endanger this whole being able to write and enjoy fanfiction thing we have going on.

WARNING: Swearing. Slight character bashing but none of the beloved main. OOCness.

[Sept 9/2018: IMPORTANT NOTE: This story is STILL indulgent of my whims. Characters still develop a bit differently than they do in canon, though hopefully I keep them largely similar in personality. This life gives Tsuna more of a backbone earlier on. He's not going be a total cute sugar puff, but he will have his moments. He'll still be a little clumsy come the main storyline.

CONCERNING THE HAREM: I say as much later on, but romance is a thing but not the thing. I concentrate more on character than romance, but there are plenty of hints (some that qualify as bricks to the face) of multiple characters (as the story goes on) being attracted and or drawn to Tsuna. In other words this will not be a quick romance.

Some people will always need help. That doesn't mean they're not worth helping. ~ Meera Reed (GameOfThrones).

Young Sawada Tsunayoshi had been a nearly endless bundle of energy with the nimbleness of a squirrel.

He'd been a smart child who excelled in class and didn't shy from raising his hand. He often pulled kids into games of epic make-believe, and in some ways he had been a benign ruler of the playground, and not just because he came up with some of the best games and helped organize his fellow children into what roles they might do best with. He'd been naturally athletic and adored swinging around on the jungle gym of Namimori Elementary, and nine out of ten times he won Cops and Robbers regardless of which side he was on thanks to him being such a speedster.

Though he didn't like conflict one bit, and hated the wobbly feeling he got when he found the courage to put himself between bullies and their targets, he would do so anyway. At these times he could be pretty darn scrappy if they tried to hurt the kid with him right there.

Little Tsuna adored the Italian language upon hearing it from a CD his mama played. She couldn't teach him much more than basic questions, like where is the washroom, and how to order coffee and a cannoli. His father had been around much more often when he was three and four, and Nana had asked him to teach Tsuna as father-son bonding. Italian came to Tsuna easily and by four he was shockingly fluent.

Though Iemitsu tried to get Tsuna into more "boyish" things, like playing with airsoft guns and beetle hunting, the boy was more likely to be trying to copy pictures from his mama's shoujo manga or his father's few Shonen Jump volumes. Due to his mama's cheerful encouragement he favored art over the more physical things, and mostly because if it wasn't Italian he didn't quite like hanging around his father.

Tsuna readily admitted to himself he didn't love his father as much as his mama. Something in the back of his young mind, something both warm and cool, just couldn't relax with Iemitsu around. Once Tsuna had more or less mastered Italian and he resisted getting into the things his father tried to get him to enjoy, the man grew distant and didn't hug him nearly as much. This didn't really bother Tsuna, but the precocious child did feel, with unshakeable certainty, that his father didn't love him. Not much, anyway. That was fine because he still made Tsuna's mama happy.

Starting when Tsuna was four Iemitsu began leaving on business trips. Not long after that an old man began to visit. He wore neon bright Hawaiian shirts that looked pretty ridiculous, and straw hats that reminded Tsuna of a favorite comic. That old man would visit a total of seven times.

Tsuna had been a very open child who welcomed people of most personality types, and as a personal rule he rarely pushed anyone away unless they gave him a Bad Feeling. He loved to laugh and he even played a few harmless pranks on his mama, and one not-so-harmless prank on his father by putting laxatives in his coffee for driving his mama to tears by being away for two months without any communication one time. In short, on the surface Tsuna had mostly been an average child who was once nearly universally liked, or if not was viewed neutrally. He had been happy.

On the seventh visit from the old Weirdo-Who-Watched-Him-Too-Much Tsuna's life took a tumble off a cliff and square into a shitty tar pit.

The usual visit began with the old man talking to Tsuna in smooth Italian while the child watched with barely interested eyes that did little to hide the niggling mistrust he felt. Despite Iemitsu and the old man both giving off a similar warmth to what Tsuna felt inside himself, he simply couldn't relax near old man Call-Me-Grandpa Timoteo. What he'd come to call ghost-whispers, or Pokey Feelings, came from a deep and instinctual part of his psyche and he always got a sense of Beware!Beware!Beware! from Timoteo. If it weren't for mama Tsuna would happily spend all day either in his room or parked in the living room drawing or playing with clay. What really bothered Tsuna about both his father and the old man is how they moved so easily, like a paintbrush smoothly gliding on paper. It looked like they could shake someone's hand and immediately move to Seismic Toss them.

Ten minutes into the visit Tsuna escaped into the backyard to water his vegetable garden and the thriving bush of dog-roses his mother planted before his birth. As usual he could hear some inconsequential chatter from the six men who always accompanied the old fogey each time. Tsuna liked Ganauche the most but that was mainly because Ganauche was "pretty" as his mama might say, not that Tsuna completely understood why he liked how the green tie wearing teen looked. Mainly he really liked just how cheerful and full of laughter he seemed. Happy people made him feel happy.

A nice climb up the big old oak tree in the backyard left Tsuna feeling right at home and none of the men noticed his silent ascent until he literally came face to face with a new squirrel as he reached for another branch. There was a three second delay before the tiny beast screeched like a monster and lunged at him, startling Tsuna so much he lost his grip and fell. Ganauche and the equally youthful Yellow Tie cried out but it was too late to catch him, Tsuna had tapped into his raw fear and a scant few seconds before he landed on the ground he was wreathed in Sky Flames that dramatically softened his landing, as well as charred the grass.

There were few things that scared Tsuna more than the thought of his mother hating him. With that display of weirdness he discovered that he was terrified of scaring away his mama, because he had to be a monster, right? He sat there in a charred circle, bawling his eyes out as he curled up on a shaking lump on the ground. The old man appeared with Iemitsu and Tsuna was scooped up into the arms of an honestly concerned, and not to mention strained, looking father who rubbed his back and gently shushed him. The following memory has always been crystal clear:

Timoteo lifted both hands and they flared with a soft looking murky orange flame so different from the clear and rich fire that had saved him, and he apologized to Tsuna in a solemn voice. In the next ten seconds he had his hands pressed to Tsuna's chest and forehead and a terrible cold washed through him, sucking away the natural warmth he had always had. The cold doesn't last though, some heat returns, a heat that feels like his fire, but so different and frozen in a frightening way. It felt so horribly alien that Tsuna shuddered before fainting.

When Tsuna next awoke he found his mama with him in his bed, and she was cradling him close with a slightly pinched look on her brow. She continued on sleeping as he slipped out of bed but since she reached for something to hold Tsuna put his big frog plush into her arms. She really looked like she needed to sleep. Unfortunately this was a bad choice because a minute later he attempted to walk down the stairs for a glass of milk and fell. His first ever clumsy accident resulted in what felt like a full-body ache, a horrible agony in his shoulder, and a stabbing on in the back of his head where his skull collided with the wall that, years later, still has an obvious dent. Warmth trickled thickly down his neck as he lay slumped, twitching from pain, and trying to work through the shock.

His complete lack of coordination and balance had been terrifying enough, but that fall down the stairs left him far more battered than a free for all at his school's playground when Hibari Kyoya wasn't there. Once the shock wore off he cried for the first time since he was two, and when he tried to move his injured arm the pain in his shoulder ripped a loud scream from him. As he was about to call for his mama the door to his bedroom slammed open and she rushed out with a yell of his name, and the horrified look on her face was mirrored by the sudden wail that he could not keep in.

One trip to the hospital later had Tsuna's head bandaged and his dislocated shoulder treated. Under his clothes he had so many cold patches stuck to numerous bruises it felt uncomfortable, but the bruises on his bones were the worst. Nana was beside herself, terrified for her precious Tsu-kun who delighted in climbing and leaping around trees in the park like a squirrel. Nana couldn't deny that something had gone very wrong on this visit, and that she couldn't shake the feeling of harmless seeming Timmy being the reason. Tsuna had always been remarkably sharp, asking his mama to be careful with this or that person, and without fail her precious boy had been right. After seven visits where she puzzled over the look of unease on her baby's face...

The choice was easy: Should he try getting into contact with her boy for whatever reason it was forbidden without her constant presence. If she could have talked her husband into it she would have him cease talking to the elder about their child, but she supposed she had to be reasonable to some extent.

Iemitsu returned a week after his departure with Timoteo. Finding Tsuna bandaged, heavily bruised and with a fractured arm on top of twenty stitches for a large cut on his forehead was startling. Puzzled and horrified, he asked his wife why his son, who never had more than a few scrapes on his hands and knees, looked like he'd walked away from a war. Nana was barely in control of her own fear and worry, but she informed Iemitsu that whatever happened on that man's last visit did this to their Tsu-kun. Iemitsu remained at home for three months before he went off to 'become a star'.

During those months Tsuna had regained not an ounce of his agility, nor his previous happiness. He consistently came home dirty, battered, and far too often he had to call his mama from the school office to have her pick him up after one too many accidents. He lost all his friends and game-buddies, bullies began targeting him, and his grades had fallen so far it was heartbreaking. The only things that didn't change was Tsuna's gift for Italian, his loving disposition toward Nana, and his lingering talent for art. He retained his two passions at the very least even when he lost the dexterity to sew and safely handle most kitchen utensils without causing himself harm. Hell, sometimes he stabbed his hands or arm with his pencils. To this day there are spots of grey-blue in his hands and arms.

It was at this point in Nana's life as a mother that the natural sweetness of her heart grew an edge. It was clear that her baby needed her more than ever and if she had no choice but to be the sole parent she would do her absolute best. Iemitsu was a star in her life, but Tsuna was the sun and she would do everything in her power to keep his light from dying.

o o o

At the age of eight and a half, after many rough drafts and multiple exhausting rewrites, sent a letter to his father of his own volition. It was the first and last time.

"Dear Mr. Sawada.

It's your son. I've tripped down the stairs and landed myself in the hospital four times this week. Please excuse he blood stains, my stitches tore a little when I fell on the stairs and I've bled through my bandages. I don't feel like writing this for the umpteenth time.

I wonder how I've become so clumsy? I can't handle any knife now. I can't handle just about anything, and isn't that interesting? I've become a walking health hazard, and that's become my nickname at school: Health-Hazard Tsuna. Cool, right? I'm like a piranha, no one wants to be around me. All the friends I had avoid me like I'll infect them with my uselesness. Kinda lonely, you know? I guess you wouldn't.

Anyone who does come around me at school aren't doing that for my dangerous presence. I'm a little bullied. Make that a lot. Turns out my clumsiness doesn't affect people if they aren't walking beside me, they can kick and punch and pull my hair all they want.

On another note, mama has become pretty scary. Not to ME, but she's become really good at dealing with the parents of bullies. I call it her Cyanide Smile. I've been trying to emulate it.

Mama is too good for you. Even if you were the human incarnation of Izanagi-sama you would be unworthy.

I wonder, are you a father? You certainly aren't mine. Not with how you act and how you've gone off to 'become a star'. Which is bull crap, obviously. Whatever the hell you do it ISN'T building homes for penguins in the damn north pole.

I got side tracked, sorry.

You should know I don't completely blame you. I don't like you. I think you're a candidate for one of the worlds worst fathers, but you aren't entirely to blame. It's Lucifer of the Hawaiian Shirts that sabotaged me. He crippled me. Whatever he set out to do, whatever you believed he wanted, it's done the opposite. I'm hot happy, I'm anything but SAFE, you both failed. How does that feel? You feel good? Does he feel happy? You'll show him the letter, right?

You I don't like. You I could live my life without ever seeing again. You aren't a father, I'll repeat.

Lucifer? I wouldn't blink if he'd died. I'm a monster, I'm an eight year old piece of crap, but I'm an honest piece of garbage. People who hurt kids, people who hurt people, they aren't worth the air they breathe.

I know, I know. I don't sound like a kid. Kinda comes with the territory of BEING STUCK IN YOUR OWN HELL.

This month alone I've thought things kids shouldn't. I feel things no one should have to feel. I hate myself. I hate myself so much I can't even put it into words. I've tripped into mama this week and made her drop a pot of boiled water, and I put us both in the hospital. I've made mama hurt herself and she's SCARRED. I've tripped in the street twice this month and put mama in danger. For kami's sake, you were on the phone with mama when I nearly exploded the oven trying to make scrambled eggs.

No one should look at a pair of scissors or a knife and want to hurt themselves, but that's where I'm at.

Are you happy? Is the old monster happy?

If I loathe myself, it's nothing on the hate I have for Lucifer. To be honest I'm not sure you're any better than the bullies who hurt me and can't comprehend what 'long-term effects' of abuse are. Part of me doubts you knew, but that part of me is also naive and believes you loved me at one point. Lucifer, on the other hand, I bet he knew. He had to have some idea that it would thoroughly mess me up. And for what? Why?

There's a chance I can forgive you. You love mama, there's no doubt in my mind no matter how STUPID AND THOUGHTLESS you are. Maybe you didn't know I'd be messed up.

I don't want you around, but what I want doesn't matter. Mama loves you. Couldn't you visit to see her? A handful of letters and six phone calls a year aren't enough for her. The word for mama is tactile - she loves to hug and give affection, but with you gone I know there's a void.

Please, just come home once a year to see her.

PS. I've been burning the stupid presents you get for me. I make smores with them. Fire doesn't hurt a whole lot, weird right? I've gotten little burns, but nothing I need the hospital for. Mama's probably noticed, but I think of the burning presents as therapy.

PS.2. I became very emotional here. I won't apologize. Maybe I got through to you, maybe I didn't. I probably didn't. As cynical and ugly as I am now, I will be careful to NEVER hurt someone like you both have done. I won't abandon the people that I love. I won't perform weird things on someone if I don't, 1000%, know the result of.

PS.3. I suppose you could say my ultimate goal is to be your antithesis, but that would require me to go Dark Lord on the world since I suppose you aren't that bad. I'll settle for being a better man than you and Lucifer, but especially you Iemitsu.

Sincerely and hoping for soul-deep pain,

Matsuno Tsunayoshi. (Mama hasn't changed her surname, but I sure will when I'm older.)"

o o o

A reply would never come, and nor would Iemitsu visit until a certain day some time in the future. Already strained phone calls would become even more agonizing than before, and Tsuna learned to disappear or pretend to be napping whenever Iemitsu called.

[[ E D I T: Sept 9th, 2018. Changed the letter, fixed up a few things, and here.

Tsuna being OOC: Readers will still have to deal with that. Tsuna in canon lived a different life from Tsuna in CdC. He's gonna be different. Similar in some aspects, but different. Tsuna also functions far better at home, clumsiness aside. ]]