Shuffled

Story Summary: One was unwilling to fight death and the other incapable of seeing the truth. The failure of the two twisted the power of the wild card. Now Makoto Yuki must see what Yu Narukami could not and Yu Narukami must fight what Makoto Yuki would not. (P3 and P4 protagonist switch up)

Prologue: Burn My Truth / Reach Out To Death

5 March 2010

The myths of the past say Orpheus had traversed the underworld for love, hoping to bring back the soul of one dear to him. But ultimately Orpheus had failed in rescuing his wife Eurydice. To leave the underworld with his deceased wife, Orpheus would have to cross the gates of Hell hand in hand with the tarnished soul of Eurydice without looking back. Some say he never reached the gate and others claim he had exited the gates, with Eurydice only a step away from crossing the threshold herself. But all know that he had looked back and in doing so he had failed.

He had suffered and he had struggled, but he had lived. It was a tragedy meant to convey a lesson. Orpheus, the scholars say, failed because in looking back he had chosen the past he could never reclaim and condemned the future that was his to seize.

Only the dead are permitted to live in the past.

Myths are pretty lies we tell ourselves to raise above our crude nature. And myths are not truths and the truth was Orpheus had not looked back in accident. He had looked back on purpose. If struggle is life then peace was the domain of death. Orpheus wanted peace most of all. He wanted it for himself and more importantly for his love.

In traversing the realm of the dead Orpheus had discovered a truth. The suffering and wailing's of the damned he heard in that forsaken realm was not that of the departed, but of those still living. To live is to struggle and what right did he have to force life upon Eurydice? To make her suffer only to return to this realm and repeat the inevitable outcome of all that lives was a selfish act.

We are born to die. It is an inescapable truth and time brings all to its inevitable outcome.

Makoto Yuki had also failed. On the eve of the New Year he had driven his sword through the heart of his friend Ryoji Mochizuki, the Avatar of Nyx. In this action Makoto had looked back and he had done so purposely. He had chosen the peace and ignorance of the past to the fruitless struggle of the future. He had granted the secrete wish of the universe, the dark desire of man. He had chosen death not for one, but for all.

He had done it to save the ones he loved from futile suffering. Death could not be defeated, but the living could be lied to, and in that lie ignorance could bring bliss. And for two whole months his life was beautiful. He had done it for love.

But that was the myth of Makoto Yuki and myths are pretty lies we tell ourselves. What slept in his heart was of a more sinister nature. He had purposefully killed the world, no matter what lies he told himself. Ignorance is bliss, but even ignorance must die.

Today was graduation day. A day, that as second years, meant little to Makoto and his friends. After the concluding speech by Mitsuru Kirijo he had been pulled along by his girlfriend Yukari Takeba and his best friend Junpei Iori to a karaoke bar. For two wonderful hours he lived in ignorance, singing poorly to his favorite Japanese rock rap fusions.

Yukari laughed at his antics, while Junpei complained at the quality. They had fun and then the world ended. As they exited Paulownia Mall and saw the great moon signaling the end, the memories Makoto Yuki had chosen to leave behind came rushing back.

The bright light of the moon and stars were a malevolent green. The people outside of the mall stared up with dull black eyes. All among the living were silent. The birth of the universe was a bang, but its death would be a whimper.

He fell to his knees as the tears fell from his eyes. "What did I do?"

Yukari rushed to him tears in her own eyes. Her gentle hands cupped his face. He expected to see anger in her caring brown gaze, but instead he saw only confusion and hopelessness. It was the disappointment he saw that broke his heart and brought him shame.

Junpei said nothing, but laid a hand on his shoulder telling him all was forgiven. His best friend looked up at the Fall and sighed tiredly. A name escaped his lips, Chidori.

"I'm so sorry." He said to both of them.

Yukari buried herself in his arms. He felt the rattling of her body with each sob that took her. Her cries were the only audible sound on that silent night. The mall goers ignored her tears and continued to stare at the moon oblivious.

The ground began to shake and the moon fell. That was when the peace broke. The populace of the mall broke away from their trance and began to scream and loot.

But the three high school students stood still as the world ended.

Junpei's arm fell from Makoto's shoulder limp as he screamed in pointless defiance. Yukari whispered her wish to live.

In witnessing his loved one's despair he groveled his apologies. He begged fruitlessly to many gods that would not answer. He screamed for Igor. He pleaded for Elizabeth. He remembered Mitsuru and Akihiko, Ken and Aigis, Fuuka and even Koromaru. Shinji's memory frowned at him calling him a fool. He remembered everything and everyone.

"I want to live!"

And from his heart came the Wild Card and it spoke of one last hope.

"I am thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come... Thy lies scream for life… But thy heart yearns for Nyx… I will grant you one last chance to find the answer… Go seek the truth now."

Makoto Yuki raised his evoker to his head as tears streamed down Yukari's face. She screamed as he pulled the trigger.

21 March 2012

Izanagi had also failed to rescue the soul of his departed wife. Izanami the beloved wife of Izanagi had died upon a bed of blood. What should have been a day of joy in welcoming the birth of their newborn for Izanagi had become a somber one grieving in the loss of his wife.

That loss forever clouded the truth of that day for Ianagi. He allowed death to blanket life. He had allowed the fog of his wife's death to blind him from the love he should have felt for the son he now had. It was not the first time he had abandoned a child. Though the mythos surrounding the Japanese deity rarely speaks of the leech child now.

Izanagi had lost his wife, but he refused to let her go and so he traveled to the underworld. He found his wife, but she refused to come. She begged for him to go, to look away from what resided in that realm. She knew he was not ready to look upon the truth. But look, Izanagi did and what he saw was terrible to behold. His wife was a wicked thing and the rotting babe in her arms a sin. And so he left them there to go live a life of virtue. Or so the story goes.

But myths are pretty lies. The real monster, the real horror was not Izanami or her choice to reside in the underworld with the child they had abandoned so long ago. The real monster was Izanagi, but he could not see that now because he knew his personal truth and it was not reflected there. So he sealed his deceased wife and child away and departed to his new life. He had fled from the truth of another. He understood only himself. Felt only for himself, but of others he had no true understanding.

Izanagi failed because there is no personal truth. Truth is or it is not. And if it is not then it is a lie. Izanagi lied to himself and there is little more pitiable than that.

Yu Narukami was leaving Inaba today. He was a bright, charismatic boy whose life was full of friends and loves. He was captain of his soccer team. He was a top performer in his school's music club. He was top ten in his class academically. He was admired by his male friends and desired by the female ones. He was an all around great guy and, it was rumored, to be quite good in bed.

He was also a murderer.

Yu Narukami had murdered Taro Namatame for the death of his beloved cousin Nanako Dojima. The death of a loved one had clouded the truth from him. His own suffering he knew well. He knew what he was capable of and recognized what he truly wanted. What he wanted most of all was Nanako to live and if he could not have that then he would have the life of the one who killed her.

He knew his personal truth, but there are no personal truths. Yu looked upon Namatame and perhaps for a moment he saw that Namatame was no murderer, but Yu ignored that truth for his own. He ignored it because he understood himself, but not others. That was his great flaw.

Not only had he failed to see the true Namatame, he had also failed his friends. Not only had he murdered Namatame, but he had made his beloved friends complicit in that act. His friends were not capable of living with the guilt of such a sin, not even the hardened ones like Naoto Shirogane. He had forever tainted not only himself, but also abandoned those he still had to a fate most terrible.

The months after the death of Namatame had faded from view and his relationship with his friends had become strained. But in his truth he could not see the waning of their bonds because he did not truly understand them.

Each of the women he slept with and professed love to became aware of each other. Naoto and Rise were never truly close, but they became hostile to one another over Yu's infidelity. Chie and Yukiko were the best of friends, but they would now always begrudge each other for sleeping with Yu.

As for his male friends, they too would harbor resentment in their hearts. Yosuke Hanamura never overcame his jealousy of his best friend, Yu. Kanji would forever feel inadequate as a man for losing Naoto to Yu. His uncle Ryotaro Dojima was riddled with guilt for knowing and allowing what his nephew did.

And as for Teddie, well that was the biggest truth Yu could not see. Yu told himself the young man had disappeared back into the television because their quest was done. But that was not the truth.

All of these unsaid feelings robbed the full joy of those last few months in Inaba, though Yu would never know it.

Yu was leaving Inaba today and despite all that had transpired his friends came to see him one last time. Their last goodbyes were strained and even the cheerful Chie looked as if she were about to break down in tears. He misunderstood those feelings as grief for his departure. But there was so much more in those held back tears that he refused to see.

So he sealed his bonds away and departed to his new life on train out of Inaba. He had fled from the truth of another. He understood only himself. Felt only for himself, but of others he had no true understanding.

From his heart came the Wild Card and it spoke of the unheard truth.

"I am thou... Thou art I... From the sea of thy soul, I come... Thy mind thinks of truth… But thy soul only knows lies… I will grant you one last chance to see the truth… Go seek the answer now."

He shattered the card in his hand and awoke on a train not traveling away from his old town, but traveling towards a new city called Iwatodi.

AN: What follows are a collection of story notes. They are not important, but I wrote them and I thought I would share them. I'll add a few of these at the end of every chapter.

Story Concept: Originally I wanted to explore a world in which the P4 Protagonist would fail in his mission to discover the truth. I also wanted to define what character traits (flaws because flawed characters are fun) would lead to that failure and develop them over the course of the story. And then like all plots this one got away from me. I decided to take the P3 and P4 protagonists and have them both fail. Finally, I decided that was too morbid so I had them switch places to try and succeed where the other had failed. And now I am left with this.

The Wild Cards:

Makoto Yuki

Age: 16

Persona: Orpheus and Eurydice

Arcana: Fool, Judgment, Formerly Death

Weapon: One-handed swords

Personality: Apathetic Empath

Personality Flaw: He is faking the apathy / He is not faking the empathy / Understands others, but does not understand himself

Miscellaneous Skills: Can Cook / Advanced Covert In Class Napping Skills / Great Metabolism

Likes: Sleeping / Eating / Dark Humor / Rap Japanese Rock Fusions

Dislikes: Enthusiasm / Good Posture / The Suffering of Others

Stats (1-5):

Courage – 3

Charm – 4

Intelligence – 4

Understanding – 5

Expression – 2

Diligence – 2

Bonus Stat: Posture – 1

Bio: Makoto Yuki drove a blade through the still beating heart of the avatar of death and close friend Ryoji Mochizuki. Some might have considered that an act of valor, but that is not true. In that action Makoto had chosen death over life, submission over rebellion.

He had done it for his friends. In killing Ryoji he had ensured that they would not remember their terrible unavoidable fate. He ensured that they would suffer no more, but to suffer is to live. He had ensured they would die, but for a while they would be happy. Yukari said ignorance was bliss and for a time that was true, but time leads all to its inevitable fate and even ignorance must die. Makoto had failed.

Makoto has a natural empathy that allows him to understand the feelings, wants, and needs of others. The full spectrum of human emotion approaches the infinite and that vast expanse threatens to consume him. As a defense he feigns apathy to push others away, but in truth he cares more deeply than any other. He also understands others when they are incapable of understanding themselves. But therein lies his flaw. So concerned for others is he that he often neglects himself. His greatest fear is self-realization.

Makoto Yuki does not know himself and if there is one theme running in the story of Persona 4 it is coming to know oneself . . . for better or worse. And when you are the former avatar of death self-realization might not be a pleasant experience. Perhaps, the real reason he killed Ryoji that night came not from a care for others, but some unknown desire in him?

Finally, Please Read and Review.