chapter 1

au: this ismy second story! i'm still working on my first one, buti had another i dea i wanted to get off of my chest. this story may be emotional. it's a fanfic on hiro hamada. i won't say what happens at the end, but sense tadashi's death he has become suicidal and depressed. he hides it from everyone, and spends the whole storry weighing the options of suicide and living. i don't know at the moment how the story will end. i kind of make up stories as i go, so enjoy!

hiro hamada was a happy, cheerful, little dude. he always brought joy into other people's lives. because he had joy in his. but then tadashi died... and all that is a memory. hiro is not how he was before. he's depressed, and suicidal. everyday he battles the urge to commit suicide. but everyday it gets harder and harder. he needs help, but refuses to admit it. he won't seek help. he's too afraid that no one will want to be his friend if they know he's depressed. he wants to be happy, but that's an impossibility without tadash.

so there he lay on the bathroom floor. tearing his arms and legs apart. he repeatedly sliced at his flesh. he thought he'd never hit a vein, buthe was missjudging the depth of his cuts. so, with one last slice of the blade, he screamed at the unusuall and unexpected pain in his wrist. he looked down to see blood pouring from his wound. it was at that moment he knew he needed help. he got up to tell his aunt but she beat him. she burst through the door, hearing his screams. she screamed at what she saw. blood pouring from his wrist and plenty of lightly bleeding cuts on the rest of his arms and legs. there were even more scars.

"HIRO! WHAT?!..." she trailed off in utter disbelief.

"Aunt Cass, i need help!"

"What hap-"

" i hit a vein, call 911!" her jaw dropped," i'll explain later, but you need to call 911 right now, or i'm gonna bleed out! go!" he screamed in pain.

she ran to call 911. she reported as best as she could with the little information she had. she ran back up to hiro.

"Hiro, are you okay?!"

hiro sat on the floor of the bathroom breathing shallowly.

"Hiro, i called an ambulance. they'll be here in a few minutes."

"I don't have a few minutes" hiro said weakly," i'm not gonna make it."

"Hiro, don't you dare say that. you'll be okay!"

"No, i won't. i'm going to die," he said simply," There's a suicide note in my journal. it'll explain everything. i'm so sorry. i didn't mean to hit the vein today. but it would've happened eventually." a few tears fell from his eyes.

"Hiro, please! i can't loose you too." (au: sound familiar?) "You're not ready to die!"

"yes. i am." he laid himself on the floor and made himd=self comfortable, "i love you."

his heart stopped beating.

suddenly, the paramedics burst through the door.

she bolted for the door and ledthem up to where hirowas.

I looked down at my body laying on the floor.

I had just died.

i had heard of out-of-body experiences.

but i never thought they were really real.

yet hear i am. outside my body;

watching paramedics load my body into an ambulance and shock me.

at first i thought it was no use, but then after a few shocks, i felt a tug. then everything went white.