An Angel of Hell or Music?
"Take her forget me forget all this. Leave me alone forget all you've seen. Go now don't let them find you. Take the boat swear to me never to tell, the secret you know of the Angel in Hell. GO! GO NOW, GO NOW AND LEAVE ME!!" was his cry.
The suddeness of it..... Raoul grabbing me and pulling me to the boat. But I couldn't go. I pulled away from Raoul and ran back to the lair and there I saw a picture which made both my heart and soul cry. Erik had his back to me and was kneeling next to that strange yet beautiful music box. All of a sudden it began to play the song that was said at the Masquerade Ball.
And slowly Erik sang; Masquerade, Paper Faces on parade. Masquerade hide your face so the world will never find you. My heart drummed in my chest as I slowly walked up behind Erik. Just before I could come near him, he turned around and stood looking at me. His face, which was unmasked, was totally in pain and drenched with his tears. His hands shook and his lower lip quivered, not from anger but from the pain he was suffering. I then began to let my tears flow and slowly I took off my mother's ring and took Erik's hand and placed it on his wedding finger. I had realized when he kissed me that I really had loved Erik all along. I thought I had loved Raoul but the love I had for him was of a love of a dear friend. The incidents of Buquet, Piangi, and all those terrible things which happened had filled me with fear and stupidity. Raoul seemed protective and loveable as a friend. I looked to him for reassureance and advice but all he told me was his old childhood love for me. I admit, I was flattered at first and since I was so stupid to realize anything but fear, I told Raoul all those things and that I loved him too. But when Erik and Raoul were in the lair, Raoul kept trying to say things for me, as though he knew my mind. And that irriated me. I was battling with my emotions as well as my thoughts. I did love Raoul but only as a friend and no more. This is what I said before I kissed Erik. But when Erik kissed me back and slowly and timidly wrapped his arms about my waist, I could feel his fear of me. He was geniunely afraid. My beloved angel was afraid of simple me. His kiss was so tender and gentle yet passionate. It took my breath away. And when we ended the kiss and I stared into his eyes, I saw in those black eyes a little boy. A scared, frightened little boy. Timid and yet loveable. So much love in those eyes that I realized it mirror what my own mind and heart began to feel. Love for this man. Who had taught me so much and in so little time. 2 years I had known him with my heart and soul and now I realized I had been an utter fool and I geniunely needed to beg for forgiveness. Erik stared at the ring with awe and wonder. He looked at it as if it were going to dissappear but it didn't. I was about to reach to him when Raoul came and pulled me back to the lake where the boat was. I was reluctant and pulled but my strength was not enough.
When Raoul lifted me quickly into the boat and started to row the boat away. I sat at the back of the boat and gazed out at the dissappearing lair. I could see Erik still standing there but he was now holding a veil. My veil, that I had thrown away in anger and stupidity. My eyes could not hold the tears back. I started to whisper; Say you'll share with me, one love, one lifetime. Say the word and I will follow you.
Then Raoul chimned in and said, "Share each day with me each night." That's when I heard Erik cry out, "I LOVE YOU!" I began to say out loud, "Share each day with me each night, each morning..." but before I could finish, we lost sight of the lair. Raoul looked down at me and said, "We are free now my love. You are free from that demon".
My heart felt a pang at his words and I said in a low voice. "He's not a demon, Raoul"
"Yes he is. He tried to kill me and force you to marry him"
"He was in anger at me. I had done a terrible thing to have unmasked him in front of everyone. I was a fool!"
"No you weren't my love.."
Something inside me snapped and suddenly I found myself pushing Raoul down, and he landed with a thud on lank bank, which we had hit.
"I WAS A FOOL! A terrible fool. And you... you just as easily tried to kill him. You should be in the Bastille for what you tried!"
Raoul's face looked shocked and confused. "You and the managers tried to kill him. All out of the need to free me from his grip and you tried to kill him still. You attempted to save me from his lair and kill him.."
Raoul stuttered. "No I didn't.."
"Yes you did, you beast! If anyone is a monster it is you. Monsieurs Andre and Firmin are both at fault and that vicious Carlotta".
Raoul began to get up, taking care to brush the mud and dirt of his shirt. "Christine, I think being here has made you mad. Don't worry I'll get you help..."
He reached for my arm.
"I am not MAD!! Raoul it is time we say goodbye, now!", I said in a shaking but angry tone. I began to get back in the boat. Raoul started after me.
"Christine where in hell are you..."
"I am going to do what I should have done in the first place. I am leaving you Raoul. I hope you will only remember me as a friend."
I grabbed the pole and began pooling the boat. Raoul started into the water and said, "But I love you.. I won't get you help then I promise just please go with me.."
I kept on rowing. I was devoid of emotion and just as well when Raoul noticed his shirt was wet again and he yelled. "I am not the one whose mad you are, you silly bitch!"
I didn't listen all I could do was row the boat back to the lair as quick as I could. That's when I heard the mob's shouting at its loudest. They were already at the lair. My heart was in my throat. I grabbed my crucifix around my neck. What have they done to Erik? Have they captured him? Or did they murder... I couldn't finish the thought. I made the sign of the cross and whispered the Hail Mary. I rowed with a quickness I never knew and soon I reached the porticullis. There stood half of the opera staff and in the middle was Meg, still dressed in her costume and she held in her hand...... his mask. Fear gripped hold of me and I screamed. "NO!!!" The crowd turned and saw me. "Look its Mademoiselle Daae. We've found her. She is safe" they all said at once. I looked at Meg and I saw her coming towards me, with the mask still in hand. "What have you done?", I cried softly. That's when everything went black.
******
I don't know how long I was out. A day, a week, or more. But when I did awaken, I was in Madame Giry's house near the Opera. I had gone there with Meg a few times when I first came to the Opera. I lay on a bed with a bag of ice over my forehead. I looked around and found I was in Meg's room. I noticed the room was dim and there sitting at my beside was Meg. Poor little thing had fallen asleep. Slowly I removed the ice bag, and started to sit up. This caused Meg to wake up.
"Oh heavens! Mama! Mama, she's awake!", Meg cried.
In a moment, Madame Giry rushed in. Still in her usual black dress and carrying her cane, she knelt down next to me.
"Oh thank heavens, your alright Christine. We've been worried sick about you. You've been out cold for a week".
"Where is Erik?" I said.
Madame Giry's face went pale. She looked at Meg who in turn looked at me.
"Is he dead? Oh for the love of God please don't..."
Madame Giry took my hand. "Child, I don't know if he is dead. We never found him in his lair".
She looked at Meg who looked at her and as if reading her mind, she looked back at me and said, "Don't worry Christine. Erik is probebly still there in the cellars. Mama knows". I looked over at Madame.
"Child, I have a confession to make. It was I who led de Chagny to his lair. I couldn't go all the way as I was afraid of what he might do. I had told de Chagny all I could about Erik without telling him about his personal past. I did a terrible thing. And I regret it with all my heart, Christine. That night when you came back to the lair, we had found nothing of Erik. Only this.."
She reached over to the bedtable and handed me Erik's mask. I ran my fingers over it, fighting back tears as much as I could.
"I believe he is not dead. I know cause I knew of his ways of magic and some of his tricks. This has to be a great magic trick that has concealed him or caused him to temporarily dissappear".
"I don't understand...?", I said, holding the mask to my chest.
Madame Giry paused for a minute before speaking. "I once knew Erik. From a fair long ago. I saved him from his abusement at the hands of the fair owner. He had been displayed as a freak of nature and yet a marvel. A genius, my dear. I knew his tricks and his magic and it feared me greatly as well as astounded me. And when I arrived at the Opera and began recieving his letters and after he sent a letter to the managers to have Meg put in the lead role as Prima Ballerina. I was knew it was him. I was afraid of course and all during the time you were here, I became his messenger. People think he killed Buquet and Piangi but its not true. Buquet was found to have been dead for more than a day. When Erik placed his corpse there...... on the stage, he had been dead longer than that and at his own hanging. Erik's rope, the Punjab lasso, was placed in the lair for protection and Buquet had wondered into the lair and got tangled in the rope and strangled himself to death. Erik told me himself, he never would kill unless he used his lasso himself. But this was an accident. Not a crime. As for Piangi, when we were returning up from the cellars, we heard Piangi was still alive. The rope was not tight enough around his neck and he didn't die. He had not killed him, he only had knocked him out. Madame Carlotta is now in an asylum, she went mad when she thought Piangi was killed and tried to kill herself. They had to lock her up. So it was then I realized of Erik's intentions. No, my dear he is alive. I know it".
I sat amazed after hearing what I had just heard. My Erik had been innocent the whole while and I had acted too quickly on my first emotion which was to run. I felt now a need to find Erik. I had to find him.
"Madame, please take me down there. I have to find him".
*******
The darkness seemed eternity in its entirity. I walked carefully through the cellars which had long since been evacuated of the mob. Meg and I slowly walked down the slippery stairs that lead to the lake. Meg and I were both changed into plain muslin dresses and we were feeling the chill of the cellars through our clothes. With only a small candle as a guide, we walked down through the cellars to the lake.
"I am afraid, what if the police are here and they take us away?", whispered Meg behind me.
"No need to be afraid. If I know this place, Erik will be down here alone and no one else...", I explained.
"Well I am still afraid we might get caught, Christine".
All at once we made it to the lake. I exhaled slowly, noticing my nervous breath in the air. Now all I needed to find was that boat. Meg came up from behind me and took the candle holder from me. "Should we go by foot around the lake?"
"No Meg, I need to find that boat. Its the only way I can get to the lair, besides if we went by foot it would take a long time to get to the lair", I replied, my mind else where.
Finally I found the boat, just where Raoul left it. But the pole wasn't there. I quickly scanned the area around the boat and I immediately found the pole broken in two.
"Damn! Raoul must have broken it!", I said through my teeth.
Meg came over and sat in the boat, pulling back her cloak. "No matter, we can use our hands and paddle by hand", she said rolling up her sleeves. I was going to protest but then I thought, what else can I do? I had to do what she said. Carefully I got into the boat and we both began to paddle our way to the lair with me at the head of the boat. The water was cold and every minute or so, I stopped and pulled my hands out to blow on them. Finally I noticed something black and shining and tall in the water. It was the portcullis.
"We are here at last!", whispered Meg. I paid no attention and got out of the boat and clung to the bars.
How do I get in? I shook the bars but it still remained closed. I shook and shook the bars till my hands shook from the cold and bruises were forming on my palms.
"Erik!", I shouted. "Where are you?"
Meg tied the boat to the warf and came over with me.
"ERIK! Its me! Christine! Please oh please answer me!", I continued. Meg looked up at me with her big eyes and if I would have looked into them, they were filled with concern. "Oh heavens, Erik please speak! Please answer me!".
By then I began to cry and I fell to my knees in agony. I wept and wept until my eyes had turned red and my face imprinted with my fingerprints. I didn't recognize anything except my own despair and at that moment, I was unconsolable.
"Oh god help me!", I whimpered, falling to my face kissing the dirt floor. I sobbed until my chest ached but at that moment, all I wanted to do was die. "Take me now Lord! Take me away with you into the heavens, so I can be with Papa". I raised my hands and cried out with all my strength, "HELP!!" and I knew nothing more.
I awoke to find myself in a dark room with a fire blazing in the harth. I was so weak I could hardly speak or breath. I could only gasp in air as I lay there. I tried breathing regularly but my lungs wouldn't co-operate so all I could do was gaze into the darkness and twiddle my fingers. It must have been hours until I heard a door creak open and I heard soft footsteps.
"Madame Giry?", I gasped.
There was no answer. "Meg... is that you... help me please will you?", I whispered.
Still no reply. All at once I became afraid, was this the final step to death, I wondered. Have I crossed the border between life and death and this was Death himself come to take me. I instantly became afraid and started to cry again. What was my sentence, I thought. Where will I go? Heaven or Hell? I closed my eyes, which stung awfully bad and began reciting the Hail Mary.
Hail Mary, full of grace The Lord is with thee, Blessed the angels....
All of a sudden I heard scratching noises and then a flame appeared. Then the flame was transferred onto a candle. The candle seemed to float like magic towards me and when the light hit me, I saw I was lying on a chaise lounge with a woolen blanket over me. How odd I never felt the blanket. But as the candle came nearer to me, I sucked in my breath until I began to choke. I clutched at my chest and tried to cough out whatever was choking me. Suddenly, I felt someone gently take me by the shoulders and held me up and then patted my back until the coughing subsided.
I lay there in the arms of whoever and nestled my head against its arm and sofly I whispered, "If the angels have come to save me, I am forever thankful".
"Even this angel?", the person replied. The voice... was it... oh my heavens it couldn't be or was it... really?
I raised my hands up to the face of the person that held me. One side of this person's face was wet with tears and on the other side I felt a mask. It was! It was my angel!
I flung my arms around his neck and started kissing his right side of his face, my kisses tracing the areas where he'd been crying. I kissed him breathlessly as if I would die that instant and I wanted to say goodbye. Slowly and gently, his arms came around me and I felt the warmth of that familiar kiss on my lips. I was drunken with happiness. Nothing could make me anymore happier at that moment.
Slowly, I stopped and tried to look up into the face of my Angel of Music. Darkness as usual. "Erik oh my Erik, you've come back to me", I said, my voice filled with tears once again.
"I found you unconsious. That friend of yours, Meg, was calling out for help and when I appeared, she asked me to help. You had injured yourself quite badly on your hands and you made yourself very sick from your crying", he replied in his usual cold and stern manner.
"You have been out since last week. I have nursed you until now."
I grabbed the candle and lifted it up to Erik's face. Those eyes. Those intoxicating eyes which I had imprinted in my memory forever, gazed at me with his tear stained eyes. I lifted hands to his eyes and gently felt his eyelashes against my fingertips.
"I am the real monster, my Erik. I am the one who should be crying..", I said.
He laughed. "You a monster...? Never!"
I smiled. "Do you forgive me for leaving you, the love of my life for eternity?"
His gaze looked down and then when he looked up at me, I could see hope and that same fear I had seen before when I first came to kiss him those many weeks ago.
"I never forgive anyone.... "
I felt my insides turn over and I slowly began to let go of him.
"...but the one I would give my soul to!", he replied.
I looked up at him and with a scream of delight and pure happiness, I flung my arms around his neck once more and knocked him to the floor. He laughed and squeezed me tightly against him as though I was a doll. And slowly he began to kiss my face, as though fearing he might burn himself. I met his lips with mine and slowly I caressed his lips with mine until his tongue pushed against my lower lip and I shyly opened my mouth. His tongue felt warm against mine and I caressed his tongue with mine. It was the first time I had ever been kissed like that before in my life. And I relished the feel of Erik's tongue against the walls of my mouth. Slowly my hands went from his chest and ran up his shirt and neck and went to the mask. I felt that barrier between my fingers and with a fling, I took it off. Erik never stopped kissing me and slowly I could feel his lips travel down my lips to my chin and throat. I had never been kissed like this ever and the experience was new and exciting, also adding to the fact I could feel a fire burn in my body which, with every kiss he made, he ignited as though he were torching my fire. Slowly, he stopped and gently picked me up and carried me out of the dark room and took me through the lair to his room. I had only been in there once and that was when I had awakened for the first time in the lair eight months ago. The room was a mess when I saw it, I was about to protest to Erik about the room being such a mess, but then he layed me on the bed and slowly at me. That fire which had been burning brighter and brighter met with a sudden pange of fear and excitement in my gut. I had never asked my Papa how people made love but I had heard from him that when it starts it is near to being in heaven without dying. Was that now gonna happen, my consious asked my mind. Yes, it was indeed gonna happen.
I remember it all so clearly. Erik pulled gently on my arms and raised me briefly off the bed and stopped as soon as I was standing. "Erik... are you gonna... are we... can we?", I stuttered like a nervous goat. He smiled a huge smile and whispered against my ear.
"Only if you want to?", was his reply.
He looked at me with his eyes inquiring and huge with wonder and hope. Only if you'll want to.... In answer to his question, I slowly began unbuttoning my dress and as he watched with his eyes wide with excitement and fear, I then grabbed his hands and made them finish the work. Once my dress was unbuttoned, my hands travelled to his shirt coat and slowly took it off and then my hands began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Wicked Girl!", he whispered.
I continued unbuttoning his shirt and when I took it off and my eyes saw the scars from his beatings, I nearly cried out in shock.
But his lips stopped my cry and slowly his tongue made its journey back into my mouth. As I returned the passion he gave, his hands made their way to my undergarments and slowly began untying my bodice and hoop skirt. When his hands hit my bare flesh, I felt my skin break out in pimples and slowly, without stopping his kiss, he let my undergarments fall to the floor. I slowly broke the kiss and gently began kissing his throat and chin and ran my lips down to the scars on his chest. I followed the lines of the scars with my lips and when my lips came to his navel, I carefully dipped my tongue in. His breath came in sharply and with a sound I couldn't make out, he drew me up and slowly, did the same to me. But when he came to my breasts, he hesitated for a moment and then kissed both buds each and slowly ran his tongue around them and then briefly closed his teeth, absolutely gently on each one. My hands, at this point, were ontop of his head and I had been massaging his sparse hair while he bent to pay homage to me. I groaned as he gently began to suck on each of my breasts and when his hands travelled down my back and down to my buttocks and felt the back of my legs, I sighed and whispered.
"My love... my angel of music and love". He kissed every part of my skin as though it were made of the most delicate of silk as though he feared he might burn it with the intensity of his kisses and the journey's his tongue made.
He kissed each of my feet, even the part where I had long ago, been dancing in the Ballet and my poor toes had been torn up and badly cut by the many times I had done pointe.
"Lovely.... utterly... divinely lovely..", Erik whispered.
As he rose back up to meet my gaze, he gently lowered me back onto the bed and then as he undid his trousers I averted, shyly, my gaze and met his eyes and what I saw in there made me feel that same fear he had shown only moments before.
When he was finished, he gently lay beside me and then with my eyes still locked to his, he turned his body towards mine and met my face once more with his lips. His mouth engulfed mine and the instant his tongue touched mine, he rolled over on top of me. I rubbed my hands over his face and head and pulled his head closer to me. His legs pressed slightly, urging my legs open and when I parted my legs fully there was a brief moment where he did nothing. But then I felt a sharp, painful stabe of pain and I gasped with shock and total fear. I opened my eyes fully to see Erik continuing his journey around my face and throat. He slowly pushed cautiously against me and the pain got worse until I felt like I was in estacy.
"Erik, my God", I whispered. He moved hard inside me and kept travelling inwards until he stopped. My breath came out ragged and exhausted and I could hear Erik breath very heavily, almost as though he was grunting but more like a moan then a grunt. His eyes looked into mine and he smiled, a huge smile.
"My love... my treasure... you are a gift made of miracles and I would die for you forever to be with you", he exclaimed, his voice still pure and child-like. Tears of sweat trickled down his chest and forehead and mixed with my own until I could feel a breeze of cool air surround me.
I can't tell you how many times we did that, but each time we did it, we did it more differently than the last. When we were at last finished, Erik lay beside me, stroking my hair tenderly, his eyes filled with love and tears of joy.
"Are you allright, my dear?", he asked, his voice filled with concern.
I smiled. "I have never felt as good as this in my entire life".
He smiled at me and slowly, I closed my eyes and nestled my head against his smooth chest. "Sing to me, my love". And the instant I asked, he sang the song which only months ago, hinted at the love he had for me. "Slowly gently, night unfurls its splendour, grasp it... sense it, tremulous and tender...". And softly, I joined in "Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams, purge your thoughts of the world you knew before, close your eyes and let your spirit start to soar....". Finis
"Take her forget me forget all this. Leave me alone forget all you've seen. Go now don't let them find you. Take the boat swear to me never to tell, the secret you know of the Angel in Hell. GO! GO NOW, GO NOW AND LEAVE ME!!" was his cry.
The suddeness of it..... Raoul grabbing me and pulling me to the boat. But I couldn't go. I pulled away from Raoul and ran back to the lair and there I saw a picture which made both my heart and soul cry. Erik had his back to me and was kneeling next to that strange yet beautiful music box. All of a sudden it began to play the song that was said at the Masquerade Ball.
And slowly Erik sang; Masquerade, Paper Faces on parade. Masquerade hide your face so the world will never find you. My heart drummed in my chest as I slowly walked up behind Erik. Just before I could come near him, he turned around and stood looking at me. His face, which was unmasked, was totally in pain and drenched with his tears. His hands shook and his lower lip quivered, not from anger but from the pain he was suffering. I then began to let my tears flow and slowly I took off my mother's ring and took Erik's hand and placed it on his wedding finger. I had realized when he kissed me that I really had loved Erik all along. I thought I had loved Raoul but the love I had for him was of a love of a dear friend. The incidents of Buquet, Piangi, and all those terrible things which happened had filled me with fear and stupidity. Raoul seemed protective and loveable as a friend. I looked to him for reassureance and advice but all he told me was his old childhood love for me. I admit, I was flattered at first and since I was so stupid to realize anything but fear, I told Raoul all those things and that I loved him too. But when Erik and Raoul were in the lair, Raoul kept trying to say things for me, as though he knew my mind. And that irriated me. I was battling with my emotions as well as my thoughts. I did love Raoul but only as a friend and no more. This is what I said before I kissed Erik. But when Erik kissed me back and slowly and timidly wrapped his arms about my waist, I could feel his fear of me. He was geniunely afraid. My beloved angel was afraid of simple me. His kiss was so tender and gentle yet passionate. It took my breath away. And when we ended the kiss and I stared into his eyes, I saw in those black eyes a little boy. A scared, frightened little boy. Timid and yet loveable. So much love in those eyes that I realized it mirror what my own mind and heart began to feel. Love for this man. Who had taught me so much and in so little time. 2 years I had known him with my heart and soul and now I realized I had been an utter fool and I geniunely needed to beg for forgiveness. Erik stared at the ring with awe and wonder. He looked at it as if it were going to dissappear but it didn't. I was about to reach to him when Raoul came and pulled me back to the lake where the boat was. I was reluctant and pulled but my strength was not enough.
When Raoul lifted me quickly into the boat and started to row the boat away. I sat at the back of the boat and gazed out at the dissappearing lair. I could see Erik still standing there but he was now holding a veil. My veil, that I had thrown away in anger and stupidity. My eyes could not hold the tears back. I started to whisper; Say you'll share with me, one love, one lifetime. Say the word and I will follow you.
Then Raoul chimned in and said, "Share each day with me each night." That's when I heard Erik cry out, "I LOVE YOU!" I began to say out loud, "Share each day with me each night, each morning..." but before I could finish, we lost sight of the lair. Raoul looked down at me and said, "We are free now my love. You are free from that demon".
My heart felt a pang at his words and I said in a low voice. "He's not a demon, Raoul"
"Yes he is. He tried to kill me and force you to marry him"
"He was in anger at me. I had done a terrible thing to have unmasked him in front of everyone. I was a fool!"
"No you weren't my love.."
Something inside me snapped and suddenly I found myself pushing Raoul down, and he landed with a thud on lank bank, which we had hit.
"I WAS A FOOL! A terrible fool. And you... you just as easily tried to kill him. You should be in the Bastille for what you tried!"
Raoul's face looked shocked and confused. "You and the managers tried to kill him. All out of the need to free me from his grip and you tried to kill him still. You attempted to save me from his lair and kill him.."
Raoul stuttered. "No I didn't.."
"Yes you did, you beast! If anyone is a monster it is you. Monsieurs Andre and Firmin are both at fault and that vicious Carlotta".
Raoul began to get up, taking care to brush the mud and dirt of his shirt. "Christine, I think being here has made you mad. Don't worry I'll get you help..."
He reached for my arm.
"I am not MAD!! Raoul it is time we say goodbye, now!", I said in a shaking but angry tone. I began to get back in the boat. Raoul started after me.
"Christine where in hell are you..."
"I am going to do what I should have done in the first place. I am leaving you Raoul. I hope you will only remember me as a friend."
I grabbed the pole and began pooling the boat. Raoul started into the water and said, "But I love you.. I won't get you help then I promise just please go with me.."
I kept on rowing. I was devoid of emotion and just as well when Raoul noticed his shirt was wet again and he yelled. "I am not the one whose mad you are, you silly bitch!"
I didn't listen all I could do was row the boat back to the lair as quick as I could. That's when I heard the mob's shouting at its loudest. They were already at the lair. My heart was in my throat. I grabbed my crucifix around my neck. What have they done to Erik? Have they captured him? Or did they murder... I couldn't finish the thought. I made the sign of the cross and whispered the Hail Mary. I rowed with a quickness I never knew and soon I reached the porticullis. There stood half of the opera staff and in the middle was Meg, still dressed in her costume and she held in her hand...... his mask. Fear gripped hold of me and I screamed. "NO!!!" The crowd turned and saw me. "Look its Mademoiselle Daae. We've found her. She is safe" they all said at once. I looked at Meg and I saw her coming towards me, with the mask still in hand. "What have you done?", I cried softly. That's when everything went black.
******
I don't know how long I was out. A day, a week, or more. But when I did awaken, I was in Madame Giry's house near the Opera. I had gone there with Meg a few times when I first came to the Opera. I lay on a bed with a bag of ice over my forehead. I looked around and found I was in Meg's room. I noticed the room was dim and there sitting at my beside was Meg. Poor little thing had fallen asleep. Slowly I removed the ice bag, and started to sit up. This caused Meg to wake up.
"Oh heavens! Mama! Mama, she's awake!", Meg cried.
In a moment, Madame Giry rushed in. Still in her usual black dress and carrying her cane, she knelt down next to me.
"Oh thank heavens, your alright Christine. We've been worried sick about you. You've been out cold for a week".
"Where is Erik?" I said.
Madame Giry's face went pale. She looked at Meg who in turn looked at me.
"Is he dead? Oh for the love of God please don't..."
Madame Giry took my hand. "Child, I don't know if he is dead. We never found him in his lair".
She looked at Meg who looked at her and as if reading her mind, she looked back at me and said, "Don't worry Christine. Erik is probebly still there in the cellars. Mama knows". I looked over at Madame.
"Child, I have a confession to make. It was I who led de Chagny to his lair. I couldn't go all the way as I was afraid of what he might do. I had told de Chagny all I could about Erik without telling him about his personal past. I did a terrible thing. And I regret it with all my heart, Christine. That night when you came back to the lair, we had found nothing of Erik. Only this.."
She reached over to the bedtable and handed me Erik's mask. I ran my fingers over it, fighting back tears as much as I could.
"I believe he is not dead. I know cause I knew of his ways of magic and some of his tricks. This has to be a great magic trick that has concealed him or caused him to temporarily dissappear".
"I don't understand...?", I said, holding the mask to my chest.
Madame Giry paused for a minute before speaking. "I once knew Erik. From a fair long ago. I saved him from his abusement at the hands of the fair owner. He had been displayed as a freak of nature and yet a marvel. A genius, my dear. I knew his tricks and his magic and it feared me greatly as well as astounded me. And when I arrived at the Opera and began recieving his letters and after he sent a letter to the managers to have Meg put in the lead role as Prima Ballerina. I was knew it was him. I was afraid of course and all during the time you were here, I became his messenger. People think he killed Buquet and Piangi but its not true. Buquet was found to have been dead for more than a day. When Erik placed his corpse there...... on the stage, he had been dead longer than that and at his own hanging. Erik's rope, the Punjab lasso, was placed in the lair for protection and Buquet had wondered into the lair and got tangled in the rope and strangled himself to death. Erik told me himself, he never would kill unless he used his lasso himself. But this was an accident. Not a crime. As for Piangi, when we were returning up from the cellars, we heard Piangi was still alive. The rope was not tight enough around his neck and he didn't die. He had not killed him, he only had knocked him out. Madame Carlotta is now in an asylum, she went mad when she thought Piangi was killed and tried to kill herself. They had to lock her up. So it was then I realized of Erik's intentions. No, my dear he is alive. I know it".
I sat amazed after hearing what I had just heard. My Erik had been innocent the whole while and I had acted too quickly on my first emotion which was to run. I felt now a need to find Erik. I had to find him.
"Madame, please take me down there. I have to find him".
*******
The darkness seemed eternity in its entirity. I walked carefully through the cellars which had long since been evacuated of the mob. Meg and I slowly walked down the slippery stairs that lead to the lake. Meg and I were both changed into plain muslin dresses and we were feeling the chill of the cellars through our clothes. With only a small candle as a guide, we walked down through the cellars to the lake.
"I am afraid, what if the police are here and they take us away?", whispered Meg behind me.
"No need to be afraid. If I know this place, Erik will be down here alone and no one else...", I explained.
"Well I am still afraid we might get caught, Christine".
All at once we made it to the lake. I exhaled slowly, noticing my nervous breath in the air. Now all I needed to find was that boat. Meg came up from behind me and took the candle holder from me. "Should we go by foot around the lake?"
"No Meg, I need to find that boat. Its the only way I can get to the lair, besides if we went by foot it would take a long time to get to the lair", I replied, my mind else where.
Finally I found the boat, just where Raoul left it. But the pole wasn't there. I quickly scanned the area around the boat and I immediately found the pole broken in two.
"Damn! Raoul must have broken it!", I said through my teeth.
Meg came over and sat in the boat, pulling back her cloak. "No matter, we can use our hands and paddle by hand", she said rolling up her sleeves. I was going to protest but then I thought, what else can I do? I had to do what she said. Carefully I got into the boat and we both began to paddle our way to the lair with me at the head of the boat. The water was cold and every minute or so, I stopped and pulled my hands out to blow on them. Finally I noticed something black and shining and tall in the water. It was the portcullis.
"We are here at last!", whispered Meg. I paid no attention and got out of the boat and clung to the bars.
How do I get in? I shook the bars but it still remained closed. I shook and shook the bars till my hands shook from the cold and bruises were forming on my palms.
"Erik!", I shouted. "Where are you?"
Meg tied the boat to the warf and came over with me.
"ERIK! Its me! Christine! Please oh please answer me!", I continued. Meg looked up at me with her big eyes and if I would have looked into them, they were filled with concern. "Oh heavens, Erik please speak! Please answer me!".
By then I began to cry and I fell to my knees in agony. I wept and wept until my eyes had turned red and my face imprinted with my fingerprints. I didn't recognize anything except my own despair and at that moment, I was unconsolable.
"Oh god help me!", I whimpered, falling to my face kissing the dirt floor. I sobbed until my chest ached but at that moment, all I wanted to do was die. "Take me now Lord! Take me away with you into the heavens, so I can be with Papa". I raised my hands and cried out with all my strength, "HELP!!" and I knew nothing more.
I awoke to find myself in a dark room with a fire blazing in the harth. I was so weak I could hardly speak or breath. I could only gasp in air as I lay there. I tried breathing regularly but my lungs wouldn't co-operate so all I could do was gaze into the darkness and twiddle my fingers. It must have been hours until I heard a door creak open and I heard soft footsteps.
"Madame Giry?", I gasped.
There was no answer. "Meg... is that you... help me please will you?", I whispered.
Still no reply. All at once I became afraid, was this the final step to death, I wondered. Have I crossed the border between life and death and this was Death himself come to take me. I instantly became afraid and started to cry again. What was my sentence, I thought. Where will I go? Heaven or Hell? I closed my eyes, which stung awfully bad and began reciting the Hail Mary.
Hail Mary, full of grace The Lord is with thee, Blessed the angels....
All of a sudden I heard scratching noises and then a flame appeared. Then the flame was transferred onto a candle. The candle seemed to float like magic towards me and when the light hit me, I saw I was lying on a chaise lounge with a woolen blanket over me. How odd I never felt the blanket. But as the candle came nearer to me, I sucked in my breath until I began to choke. I clutched at my chest and tried to cough out whatever was choking me. Suddenly, I felt someone gently take me by the shoulders and held me up and then patted my back until the coughing subsided.
I lay there in the arms of whoever and nestled my head against its arm and sofly I whispered, "If the angels have come to save me, I am forever thankful".
"Even this angel?", the person replied. The voice... was it... oh my heavens it couldn't be or was it... really?
I raised my hands up to the face of the person that held me. One side of this person's face was wet with tears and on the other side I felt a mask. It was! It was my angel!
I flung my arms around his neck and started kissing his right side of his face, my kisses tracing the areas where he'd been crying. I kissed him breathlessly as if I would die that instant and I wanted to say goodbye. Slowly and gently, his arms came around me and I felt the warmth of that familiar kiss on my lips. I was drunken with happiness. Nothing could make me anymore happier at that moment.
Slowly, I stopped and tried to look up into the face of my Angel of Music. Darkness as usual. "Erik oh my Erik, you've come back to me", I said, my voice filled with tears once again.
"I found you unconsious. That friend of yours, Meg, was calling out for help and when I appeared, she asked me to help. You had injured yourself quite badly on your hands and you made yourself very sick from your crying", he replied in his usual cold and stern manner.
"You have been out since last week. I have nursed you until now."
I grabbed the candle and lifted it up to Erik's face. Those eyes. Those intoxicating eyes which I had imprinted in my memory forever, gazed at me with his tear stained eyes. I lifted hands to his eyes and gently felt his eyelashes against my fingertips.
"I am the real monster, my Erik. I am the one who should be crying..", I said.
He laughed. "You a monster...? Never!"
I smiled. "Do you forgive me for leaving you, the love of my life for eternity?"
His gaze looked down and then when he looked up at me, I could see hope and that same fear I had seen before when I first came to kiss him those many weeks ago.
"I never forgive anyone.... "
I felt my insides turn over and I slowly began to let go of him.
"...but the one I would give my soul to!", he replied.
I looked up at him and with a scream of delight and pure happiness, I flung my arms around his neck once more and knocked him to the floor. He laughed and squeezed me tightly against him as though I was a doll. And slowly he began to kiss my face, as though fearing he might burn himself. I met his lips with mine and slowly I caressed his lips with mine until his tongue pushed against my lower lip and I shyly opened my mouth. His tongue felt warm against mine and I caressed his tongue with mine. It was the first time I had ever been kissed like that before in my life. And I relished the feel of Erik's tongue against the walls of my mouth. Slowly my hands went from his chest and ran up his shirt and neck and went to the mask. I felt that barrier between my fingers and with a fling, I took it off. Erik never stopped kissing me and slowly I could feel his lips travel down my lips to my chin and throat. I had never been kissed like this ever and the experience was new and exciting, also adding to the fact I could feel a fire burn in my body which, with every kiss he made, he ignited as though he were torching my fire. Slowly, he stopped and gently picked me up and carried me out of the dark room and took me through the lair to his room. I had only been in there once and that was when I had awakened for the first time in the lair eight months ago. The room was a mess when I saw it, I was about to protest to Erik about the room being such a mess, but then he layed me on the bed and slowly at me. That fire which had been burning brighter and brighter met with a sudden pange of fear and excitement in my gut. I had never asked my Papa how people made love but I had heard from him that when it starts it is near to being in heaven without dying. Was that now gonna happen, my consious asked my mind. Yes, it was indeed gonna happen.
I remember it all so clearly. Erik pulled gently on my arms and raised me briefly off the bed and stopped as soon as I was standing. "Erik... are you gonna... are we... can we?", I stuttered like a nervous goat. He smiled a huge smile and whispered against my ear.
"Only if you want to?", was his reply.
He looked at me with his eyes inquiring and huge with wonder and hope. Only if you'll want to.... In answer to his question, I slowly began unbuttoning my dress and as he watched with his eyes wide with excitement and fear, I then grabbed his hands and made them finish the work. Once my dress was unbuttoned, my hands travelled to his shirt coat and slowly took it off and then my hands began unbuttoning his shirt.
"Wicked Girl!", he whispered.
I continued unbuttoning his shirt and when I took it off and my eyes saw the scars from his beatings, I nearly cried out in shock.
But his lips stopped my cry and slowly his tongue made its journey back into my mouth. As I returned the passion he gave, his hands made their way to my undergarments and slowly began untying my bodice and hoop skirt. When his hands hit my bare flesh, I felt my skin break out in pimples and slowly, without stopping his kiss, he let my undergarments fall to the floor. I slowly broke the kiss and gently began kissing his throat and chin and ran my lips down to the scars on his chest. I followed the lines of the scars with my lips and when my lips came to his navel, I carefully dipped my tongue in. His breath came in sharply and with a sound I couldn't make out, he drew me up and slowly, did the same to me. But when he came to my breasts, he hesitated for a moment and then kissed both buds each and slowly ran his tongue around them and then briefly closed his teeth, absolutely gently on each one. My hands, at this point, were ontop of his head and I had been massaging his sparse hair while he bent to pay homage to me. I groaned as he gently began to suck on each of my breasts and when his hands travelled down my back and down to my buttocks and felt the back of my legs, I sighed and whispered.
"My love... my angel of music and love". He kissed every part of my skin as though it were made of the most delicate of silk as though he feared he might burn it with the intensity of his kisses and the journey's his tongue made.
He kissed each of my feet, even the part where I had long ago, been dancing in the Ballet and my poor toes had been torn up and badly cut by the many times I had done pointe.
"Lovely.... utterly... divinely lovely..", Erik whispered.
As he rose back up to meet my gaze, he gently lowered me back onto the bed and then as he undid his trousers I averted, shyly, my gaze and met his eyes and what I saw in there made me feel that same fear he had shown only moments before.
When he was finished, he gently lay beside me and then with my eyes still locked to his, he turned his body towards mine and met my face once more with his lips. His mouth engulfed mine and the instant his tongue touched mine, he rolled over on top of me. I rubbed my hands over his face and head and pulled his head closer to me. His legs pressed slightly, urging my legs open and when I parted my legs fully there was a brief moment where he did nothing. But then I felt a sharp, painful stabe of pain and I gasped with shock and total fear. I opened my eyes fully to see Erik continuing his journey around my face and throat. He slowly pushed cautiously against me and the pain got worse until I felt like I was in estacy.
"Erik, my God", I whispered. He moved hard inside me and kept travelling inwards until he stopped. My breath came out ragged and exhausted and I could hear Erik breath very heavily, almost as though he was grunting but more like a moan then a grunt. His eyes looked into mine and he smiled, a huge smile.
"My love... my treasure... you are a gift made of miracles and I would die for you forever to be with you", he exclaimed, his voice still pure and child-like. Tears of sweat trickled down his chest and forehead and mixed with my own until I could feel a breeze of cool air surround me.
I can't tell you how many times we did that, but each time we did it, we did it more differently than the last. When we were at last finished, Erik lay beside me, stroking my hair tenderly, his eyes filled with love and tears of joy.
"Are you allright, my dear?", he asked, his voice filled with concern.
I smiled. "I have never felt as good as this in my entire life".
He smiled at me and slowly, I closed my eyes and nestled my head against his smooth chest. "Sing to me, my love". And the instant I asked, he sang the song which only months ago, hinted at the love he had for me. "Slowly gently, night unfurls its splendour, grasp it... sense it, tremulous and tender...". And softly, I joined in "Close your eyes and surrender to your darkest dreams, purge your thoughts of the world you knew before, close your eyes and let your spirit start to soar....". Finis