"Last time on the Ridonculous Race...

After shopping for spices, and camelling through the Moroccan desert, our teams built up a hearty appetite... and I lost MINE... these people are disgusting.

The winners for the first leg were Best Friends, Carrie and Devin. In my book, all the other teams were losers, but we could only get rid of one of the teams... and last week, it was the LARPers, Leonard and Tammy. I'm not sad, those wannabe wizards FREAKED me out..."

We now see Don standing in the Morocco Chill Zone. "But that was then," he concluded, "And this is... The Ridonculous Race!"

- Opening Authors' Notes -

Hey Everybody! I hope you will enjoy this chapter! I ready am HOPING... Anyway there are the answers to the reviews we've gotten from the last chapter. This time, answered by Gwent Forever. She says:

AA: Thank you, you are so going to love what we have planned for Madison and Rosa...

Guest 1: We will be changing a few eliminations, so, we understand the circumstances of that.

Anyway, this will be Paris... like the title suggests, BUT this will be where the canon elimination order ends. The only spoiler at this point will be that the Tennis Rivals WONT be eliminated in this version. Who will? Read and Find out!

- End Author's Notes -

We now see Don standing nearby the Best Friends at the Chill Zone. Next to them, is a Don Box. Don then says, "Yesterday's Chill Zone is today's Starting Line. Contestants depart in the order they arrived, starting with yesterday's winners, Best Friends."

Devin presses the button on the Don Box, reads the tip, then says, "Oh WOW! (to Carrie) It looks like we're going to Paris!"

Carrie then exclaims, "(Gasps) Paris? No way!"

Don does an explanation through V.O. about the destination, saying, "Paris, France. Home to the Mona Lisa, espresso coffee, and other things that annoy me like you wouldn't believe. Once in Paris, teams must make their way HERE to the Eiffel tower, and find their next tip."

We now see a parking lot full of mopeds. Devin and Carrie take one (Devin driving) and take off for the nearby airport. Carrie was cheering the moment the engine started.

- Team Confessional: Best Friends -

Carrie: I was SO, excited. Paris is THE most romantic place on Earth!

Devin: DEFINITELY. And after we win the million, I'm gonna head BACK to Paris, with Shelly!

Carrie: (She was smiling at Devin warmly the WHOLE time... until he mentioned Shelly.) YEAH! (Embarrassed) Shelly...

Devin: (To the camera, forming the shape of a heart with his fingers) I miss you so much, baby!

- End Confessional -

"There is nothing Eiffel about this Parisian landmark... " MacArthur read from the tip.

"Eiffel Tower, Paris!" Sanders Declared, "Let's Roll!"

On the road, the Best Friends were doing great time. "Almost there," said Devin. He noticed how tightly Carrie grabbed onto him and said, "Can you loosen you grip, homie?"

Then the two heard a loud honk followed by an aggressive voice, yelling, "MOVE ASIDE! EMERGENCY POLICE BUSINESS!" Then they were passed by another moped. Carrie too notice of the drivers. "(Gasp) It's the Cadets!" she said.

Now ahead, the Police Cadets did a high five, but were then passed by the Ice Dancers. They were smiling directly at the camera. There was a sense of professionalism to their smiles.

- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Josee: Being sports heroes, we never know WHEN the cameras will be on us, so we simply have to smile all the time.

Jacques: All the time, even in our sleep!

Josee: It's really painful. (The two were smiling this whole time. Unlike Jacques. Josee's smile has some strain... )

- Team Confessional: Police Cadets -

MacArthur: (to both Sanders and the camera) What's with those Ice Dancers? (Sanders smirking at this point) Don't they ever stop smiling? Do they sleep like that? Do they CRY smiling!? (fist on the palm of her other hand) (Aggressively) I'm gonna find out!

Sanders: She get's a little fixated.

- End Confessional -

Soon enough, the other teams were already on mopeds and headed their way to the airport. The Fashion Bloggers and Mall-Goers were one of the later few to leave. Hailey was next to her teams mopes, Jen and Tom were walking towards them while Eric was holding a heavy looking carpet, rolled up.

- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen: If we KNEW that the fashion capital of the UNIVERSE was going to be our next stop, we probably wouldn't have spent so much on a hand-woven Moroccan Carpet.

Both: PARIS! (Jumping up and down) EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

- Team Confessional: Mall-Goers -

Hailey: I STILL can't believe that PARIS is our next stop! I'm so excited! (Grabs a hold of Eric, hugging him) If this is a dream, then I don't ever want to wake up! (Eric is blushing at this point)

- End Confessional -

Later, at the airport, the Ice Dancers were the first to reach the airport, the went to the front desk, arriving there with a typical dancing position. "Two for Paris!" Josee said to the clerk, "Do you offer free upgrades for Olympians? (Jacques did that trick with the eyebrows at this question, his smile becoming arrogant)"

After typing a few keystrokes the clerk, with an accent, said, "Ah yes! Free upgrade for all Gold metal peoples."

Upon hearing this, Josee simply said, "(Still smiling but with aggressive tone and unmoving mouth) Economy is FINE!"

A few of the other teams began to arrive. Along with the Surfer Dudes... ... ... who literally crashed into the lobby... there was luggage flying everywhere... along with one of the wheels to their moped. ... ... WOW.

- Team Confessional: Surfer Dudes -

Brody: (a pair of boxers on his head) I LOVE mopeds! I tried to JUMP one over my pool last summer, but ended up crashing right into the neighbor's gazebo! (He and Geoff share a laugh)

Geoff: (with a sock on the rim of his hat) Dude, we shouldn't laugh; we totally ruined that wedding.

Both: HA! FREE CAKE! (The two laughed again, sharing a fist bump)

- End Confessional -

Meanwhile, out on the road, some of the other teams were racing forward, the Stepbrothers slowly leading over the others, even though Chet's eyes were covered by a fearful Lorenzo as he (Chet) screamed, "Get your hands off my face!"

"Get your FACE off my HANDS!"

THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE!

"The carpet's slowing us down! Lose it!"

Jen and Tom were slowly getting behind the other teams, Tom was straining with the heavy carpet they had with them, he then let out a gasp of shock at Jen's suggestion saying, "But, Jen- !"

"TOM," Jen interrupted, "We're going to PARIS."

"(Sigh... ) Your right," he said in defeat, "You're free carpet (let's the carpet go) FLY!"

Little did they know the carpet landed on top of Father & Son, causing them to crash! Later in that same spot, we see the Vegans, calmly pedaling by using their mopeds built in bike pedals.

- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Miles: We WALKED our camel through the desert yesterday instead of riding him, so that he could stay hydrated.

Laurie: Now today, were pedaling our mopeds to the airport, so that we don't use up it's fuel. (Gasp) I wish there was some way for us to give this moped to our camel, (To Miles) right?

- End Confessional -

After getting their tickets, the Fashion Bloggers ran into both Father & Son, as well as Yin & Yang, the two teams looked like a train wreck. Jen pointed this out asking, "Oh no, what happened to you guys?"

"Strangest thing," replied Wayne, "Hit by a carpet, we ended up crashing into these guys (gesturing towards Yin & Yang). We could've been killed."

This shocked the fashion bloggers. Eventually they gave out an calm, light, awkward laugh, one at a time. They took so long laughing that it creeped the other two teams out, prompting them to back away.

Let's ... just proceed to Don's V.O. Shall we? 'Cause even I'm getting creeped out... "12 teams wait anxiously at the airport for Flight 2 to Paris, which doesn't take off for another hour and a half. So we had it covered with sad-face stickers, which is hilarious. Meanwhile the first 11 teams are already Paris-bound on flight one." True to Don's claim, the 11 teams are Best Friends, Daters, Police Cadets, Reality TV Pros, Mall-Goers, Tennis Rivals, Geniuses, Surfer Dudes, Ice Dancers, Seducers, and Steampunks.

Later, the plane lands smoothly at the airport near Paris (betcha can't guess which one that is). It is currently nighttime in the area as the plane comes to a full stop at the terminal.

Don (V.O.) they says, "Flight 1 has finally landed, and the race for first place is on!"

The 11 teams each left the airport, heading for the parking lots, where several cabs awaited them. Eventually they all got into a cab within 5-15 seconds from one another.

Later, near the Eiffel Tower some of the cabs had finally arrived, the first one to arrive was the one the Ice Dancers took. Josee simply looked at the Tower before cheering, "Gold Metal!" She then tried to cheer again, but instead screamed as another cab crashed headlong into theirs. No one got hurt, thankfully. Out of cab number 2, were the Police Cadets.

"NAILED IT!" declared MacArthur as she and Sanders ran to the nearby Don Box. Sanders personally pressed the button and took the tip. "Hm," she said, "Another Botch or Watch. And this ones fixed."

Don is seen nearby with a man who eerily resembles Vincent Van Gogh, as he (Don) says, "A FIXED Botch or Watch, is different in that the participating contestant is determined by the previous botch or watch. In this case, whoever DIDN'T eat the stew back in Morocco, must draw a caricature of their partner. When this local French artist (the Van Gogh look-alike) approves of the drawing, they will receive their next tip."

And with that, a most of the other teams from Flight 1 had arrived, ready to start their caricatures.

Best Friends: Carrie was drawing. Devin simply stood there trusting that his friend would do a good job. Carrie was devoting all of her attention to what she was drawing.

Ice Dancers: Jacques was drawing. Josee, being a performer did a pose similar to an ice dancer doing a leap. She was fully balanced.

Geniuses: Ellody was drawing. Mary was standing there. Hands touching her glasses, a smile on her face. Ellody seemed to be drawing slowly, as if trying to work like a human camera, not leaving out a single detail.

Steampunks: Wayne was drawing. Cynthia stood there her arms in front of her in a way that suggests that she was pretending to have a cane with her. Wayne took notice of this and understood what she was trying to do.

Reality TV Pros: Noah was the one drawing. Owen simply stood there as Noah looked at him every 6 seconds while drawing.

Seducers: Rosa is the one drawing. Madison is doing a seductive fashion pose, a sinister smile on her face.

Daters: Stephanie was drawing. Ryan was doing a pose that showed the definition of his upper body strength, bouncing his pecs in the process. Stephanie looked at him, dreamy eyed, before starting her caricature.

Surfer Dudes: Geoff was drawing. He signaled Brody to start his pose. Brody then flexed his arms, while Geoff began to draw him.

Police Cadets: MacArthur was Drawing. Sanders was doing an action pose of an armed police officer aiming at a target. MacArthur took her pace as she drew.

Mall-Goers: Hailey was the one Drawing. She has suggested that Eric take off his shirt, which he did, the confused look on his face. Hailey then motioned him to smile.

At that moment Don does another V.O., declaring that, "This just in! Flight Number Two has landed! As the teams from said second flight race to the Eiffel Tower, Teams from Flight Number One are straining to finish the first challenge."

Geoff was still drawing Brody, who was flexing his muscles even harder, causing veins to appear. This took some strain on him, as he began to sweat, his teeth to appear. This continued until Geoff said, "Done-sters!" Brody then relaxed his body, calming it down as he looked at Geoff's drawing of him. It was intentionally done slightly crude, giving it that cartoon-ish look worthy of a caricature. Overall, Brody was impressed, saying, "Dude, you drew me awesome!"

"Yes, you do look impressive in that photo."

The two looked and say that is was Madison who spoke to them. She had a smile on her face worthy of a female prince charming. "It makes you look... defined."

Brady took to this compliment, saying, "Aw thanks! I am pretty awesome now that I think about- about- ... abou... ..." At that point he was looking directly into Madison's eyes, a sexy smile plastered on her face as she slowly, and playfully ran her fingers up his arms. "You work out, don't you?" She mused.

"Y-y-yeah..."

"Good. (slow, suggestive tone) I like being around men who are big... and strong..."

Geoff looked at this whole scene with a look that clearly said, "What is going on?" while Rosa presented her caricature of Madison over to the artist. Who approved of it, handing her a copy of the tip.

"Now," Madison continued, "About that tip..."

"(Confused) Huh?" Brody said, "(realizing) Oh yeah! (laughs like he normally does.)"

Owen looks at some of the other teams, like how the Daters seemed to be on sync so much, or how the Mall-Goers seemed to trust each other. He then says to Noah, "I think that the way some of these guys support each other is amazing... WE should hug!"

Noah simply replied, "No."

"Please!? What about a high f- "

"FACE FORWARD!"

Geoff had taken one of the copies of the tip and had read it aloud, Brody and the Seducers listening, "Go down, down, down. Find the cheese, so round... where your next tip is found."

Rosa, realizing what this meant, said, "I'm a little confused, but 'Down' might be referring to the catacombs underneath the city!"

"Sweet!," Geoff exclaimed, "Let's go find us some cheese!" The two teams then proceeded down one of the nearby manholes.

- Team Confessional: Seducers -

Madison: Brody is going to become quite useful later on. I intend to use him when the need arises.

Rosa: The poor jock. (The two share a single evil laugh.)

- End Confessional -

We now see Don, standing in a long series of tunnels, skeletons all over the place. "Welcome to the catacombs," He said, "Where ancient Parisians buried victims of the Plague. Teams will have to use their noses to navigate this maze of tunnels to find the correct exit, and their next travel tip, hidden amongst these wheels of Roquefort Cheese.

In another part of Paris we see the Fashion Bloggers, whose cab just lost a tire to a nail in the road. "A FLAT tire," Tom began "in luxury boutique heaven during a Midnight Madness Event? Come on!"

"(Gasp) The universe WANTS us to go shopping," Jen declared, "It's FATE!"

"Or... the ultimate test of our wills."

"(Sigh) You have a point. We ARE already behind, we can't just stop, drop, and shop."

- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen: If we come in LAST, we're going HOME.

Tom: And, HELLO, the longer we stay on the race, the more we can promote out blog.

Both: Now trending with Tom and Jen!

- End Confessional -

Tom then had an idea, saying, "...Although it IS gonna take some time to replace that flat tire..."

The next thing anyone knew, Tom and Jen began to enter the stores, prepared to shop like there's no tomorrow.

Meanwhile, back at the Eiffel Tower...

"What do you mean 'non'? (French word for 'No'.) She got an A in art last semester. (The artist shows him Carrie's caricature of him. It shows Devin in a sexy post, shirtless, showing off his muscles and his smile. Surrounding him are a bunch of hearts and cherubs.) Oh, I see... (Oblivious as what the caricature suggested.) It's too realistic!"

The Sisters were already there, Kitty was drawing the caricature, while Emma simply ready her book. "So... " Kitty said, "Are you seeing anyone new at university?"

"Yeah," Emma started sarcastically, "His name is International and Comparative Anti-Trust Law Curriculum."

Kitty, ignoring her sister's remark, simply continued her caricature, saying, "I'm thinking of getting a pixie cut!"

- Team Confessional: Sisters -

Kitty: Emma's ALWAYS the serious one, but ever since her boyfriend Jake broke up with her two years ago, she's been SUPER- !

Emma: (Covering Kitty's mouth) FINE! I've been super fine! And I don't NEED a boyfriend, I need a Law Degree. And I need my kid sister to get her head in the game!

Kitty: And a boyfriend. (Emma made a groan of annoyance at this)

- End confessional -

The Mall-Goers presented their caricature next. The drawing was of Eric as The Thinker, only wearing his cargo shorts, unlike the actual statue. The Artist gave them a thumbs up. The two shared a high five as they proceeded into the catacombs.

- Team Confessional: Mall-Goers -

Eric: Hailey is an awesome artist. You should see her sketchbook of potential fashions. It's pretty cool.

Hailey: (Blushing slightly) Oh, you're just saying that.

Eric: No, I-I meant it. You're good. (Equally Blushing)

- End confessional -

Next up were the Reality TV Pros, the artist was laughing with Noah at the caricature he drew of Owen, about to devour the Eiffel tower. Whole. I would like to note how this, canonically, is the SECOND time in the history of the Total Drama franchise, where Noah openly laughs. Owen simply looked confused, even as Noah dragged him into the sewers... "Wait!" he (Owen) said, "I wanna see the picture!"

Meanwhile, in another part of Paris... FAR away from the Eiffel Tower the Tennis Rivals abruptly woke up, then looked at their surroundings.

"Hey," Gerry said to the cab driver, "THIS isn't the Eiffel Tower!"

"You old men never told me where to go," the driver replied.

"We may be old-ER," Pete claimed, "But that doesn't mean we're old!"

- Team Confessional: Tennis Rivals -

Gerry: We have the same energy as those other guys (The other Teams) ... From about 5AM to 4PM...

Pete: Yeah, after that, we get a little... groggy...

Gerry: Haha, groggy? I haven't seen the moon since 2003! (Both Laugh)

Pete: Oh, really? 'Cause I got a moon for 'ya! (Points to his own butt) Right here! (Both Laugh Again)

- End Confessional -

- Commercial Break -

Eric and Hailey were in the middle of the catacombs and were faced with each of the tunnel ways. "Hailey," Eric began, "I'm gonna go ahead and see if I can find the right tunnel, you stay put right here, okay? (She nodded) I'll be right back!" Eric then runs through one of the tunnels.

Meanwhile Emma was still reading her book while Kitty was drawing, even while Emma told her, "It (the drawing) needs at least FOUR exaggerations to be a caricature."

Kitty replied, "I have WAY more than that!"

Some of the other teams were also still on caricature duty.

Greg was Drawing. Seth had his hand in front of him and his mouth wide open, as if he were singing opera.

Sierra was Drawing. She has a look of mischief on her face as she drew, while Topher has this nervous smile on his face, wondering what she was drawing.

Taylor was drawing. "Thank gosh, I'M the one drawing." She said. Her poor mother...

"Hey sorry we're late!"

That voice was from the Fashion Bloggers, who were now holding NUMEROUS shopping bags.

- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen: Getting that flat tire was the BEST thing that's ever happened to us.

Tom: I have never shopped so fast in a foreign language in my LIFE.

Jen: SO worth it though. I mean, finding rock-studded, leather leggings in North America? Heh, good luck!

Tom: Truth

- End Confessional -

Sierra showed her caricature, It depicts Topher, being literally, and violently, kicked off a 1st place podium by his very idol, Chris McLean, who in the caricature, was both laughing sadistically and depicted with horns. Topher, in the image, was dressed in rags. The French artist smirked at this image before accepting it. During this time, Topher was visible fuming, enraged at the way Sierra depicted both himself AND his Idol. "Yay," he said quickly, his voice dripping with sarcasm, hate, and spite, "He likes it! LET'S GO!"

- Team Confessional: Superfans -

Topher: (Enraged) HOW DARE YOU DEFILE THE REPUTATION OF A GREAT CELEBRITY!

Sierra: ... ... (warm smile) It was actually really easy. (This enraged Topher even more, as he screamed then ran of screen. Sierra smirks at the camera afterwards) (playfully) I hope you didn't mean Chris! (more screams of pure wrath occur off-screen. Sierra just sits there, and calmly smirks.).

- End Confessional -

Three more teams showed their caricature, all of which were approved by the artist.

"Hurry Come on!" Said Carrie to the entire group.

"Ugh! I hope I don't get the Plague again," Complained Jay. Then the Adversity twins, along with the rest of the group followed Carrie and Devin down the manhole as the last of the Teams finally made it ti the Eiffel Tower.

Meanwhile in the Catacombs, Eric was looking around for the right tunnel that will lead him and Hailey to the next tip. It is evident that he used OTHER exit tunnels, he was now holding a single, black, thin box. In his hands.

- Solo Confessional: Eric -

Eric: Truth be told, I have a crush on Hailey. I always have, ever since I first met her. But, I've been shy about it the whole time. But now, I think I'm finally gonna ask her the big question! I mean, it's PARIS! It's sure to work!

- End confessional -

Meanwhile, up ahead the Ice Dancers and Steampuks were running down the same path. They were about to turn around when they heard voices.

"Okay, WHAT are you DOING?"

"I've trained my nose so I can work border crossings."

Jacques was able to say "Those voices sound like- " Before the other three shushed him. A peek around a corner and he was right, It was the Police Cadets!

"People think they can bring unregistered fruit into ANY country they want," MacArthur continued, "(Fist on other hand) NOT on MY watch, sister! (Does a deep sniff, then points to one of the tunnels) It's this one! I'm going in." Sanders follows her into the tunnel.

"We should- "Jacques began but was immediately interrupted by Wayne who said, "Let's follow them. If that girl is right about her nose, they these two will lead us RIGHT to the next tip." Everyone nodded in agreement and followed him. Jacques gave and upset look but went with the other three anyway.

"As some of the team make their way through the Parisian Catacombs," Don said through V.O., "other's are still drawing the art challenge to a conclusion. Heh. Drawing... See what I did there?"

Indeed we see the last of the teams finish their drawings, all getting approvals. But let's focus on the catacombs. In one point we see that Eric and Hailey are reunited and walking down one of the tunnels. "By the way," Hailey said... "What's with the box?"

"Oh this?" Eric asked, referring to the box in his hand. "It's a surprise... Don't worry about it. (Smiles warmly)"

Down another hallway, Owen and Noah were running around Owen saying, "Here, cheesy-cheese! (whistles a bird-call)"

"If we had ANY kind of a lead, we've lost it by now," said Noah, "(He looks down and sees a skull on the floor... which unnerves him because... ) Wait a sec... I've seen that skull before! Aw man, we're going in circles!"

"(Owen feeling weird) So's my tum-tum. (His stomach makes a disturbing noise) AH! Uh-oh... D'ya see any restroom signs!?"

- Solo Confessional: Noah -

Owen is running around frantically, tunnel through tunnel.

Noah: Owen hasn't, well... "gone" since he ate that crazy stew back in Morocco, so... We KNEW this moment would come, we just didn't know when.

- End Confessional -

The Surfer Dudes and Seducers are now seen at the end of one of the wrong tunnels.

"Aw man!" Complained Rosa, "Another dead end."

"Don't worry dudette," said Brody, "We'll find the way out."

"We're not worried at all, Brody." Madeline said suggestively, "We know you'll be able to lead us to safety." This remark caused Brody to blush furiously.

- Team Confessional: Seducers -

Rosa: Since Geoff has that, "I'm taken with another woman" look on his face, I knew that I needed to work a DIFFERENT angle on him.

- End Confessional -

"Hey, Geoff?" Rosa started, using an innocent, basic, tone, "I think we missed the way out three openings ago, maybe we should look there?"

"You could be right brah," Geoff answered, "Let's go!" The two teams began to run in the direction the Seducers secretly knew to be the CORRECT tunnel out.

In another part of the tunnels, the Adversity Twins were walking down one of the hallways, when, out of one of the corners, two nightmare-ish figures appeared. The two boys screamed in fear! As the figures step into the light though, the Adversity Twins now see that it's just the Goths.

"You scared us!" exclaimed Mickey.

"Really?" asked Ennui, his neutral voice now showing a small tough of curiosity.

"Yeah, I mean," Jay said, "This place is scary."

"Are you kidding me?" Asked the male Goth, "I've never been so happy... "

- Team Confessional: Goths -

Ennui: This place could be an amusement park. Or even a camp for kids...

Crimson: ... ... He's right.

- End Confessional -

In another section, we see the Police Cadets. MacArthur was sniffing the air around her, her nose high in the air, like a bloodhound. "Roquefort," She stated, "Cave-aged about... (sniff) three years! (Hears something) Hey, do you hear running water? (The two walk up a flight of stairs and discover that they made it, seeing a large pile of Roquefort cheese in front of them) Oh YEAH! That's what I'm talkin' 'bout! (Takes one of the big wheels from the large piles) You're coming with me! (Then she hears the sound of a throat clearing, then turns, along with Sanders to see the Ice Dancers and Steampunks behind them.)"

"Well, well, well," Sanders began, "Look who it is..."

"Yeah!" MacArthur agreed, "If it isn't the Steam-Slowpokes and the Smiling Silvertons!"

Josee simply reacted by walking up to one of the stacks of Roquefort and kicking the whole thing away, proudly declaring, "I HATE SILVER!" Behind the now absent stack of cheese, they see a sign. Jacques reads the sign, saying, "It says, 'Take your cheese and sail away to where Mona Lisa is on display'..."

"That means the Louvre!" Cynthia said.

At that point Don did another V.O. about, "The Louvre, home of many paintings I was asked to stop touching. It's also the Chill Zone for this part of the Race. Last team on the Carpet of Completion, WILL be OUT of the running! But the race for FIRST place is kicking into high gear!"

The Ice Dancers were already floating on their wheel of Roquefort cheese down the river. "Bye!" Josee called out arrogantly, to the Steampunks and Police Cadets, "You stink WORSE than this cheese float."

MacArthur simply called back, "Too bad you forgot your OARS! (Sanders calmly holds them out, a smirk on her face.)"

Josee angrily stares as Jacques, her smile, now FULLY gone form her face, "JACQUES!" she yelled out, "You were supposed to grab the oars!" Jacques simply says, "DARN IT!"

The Police Cadets, their OWN oars at hand, paddled by them, MacArthur mockingly asking, "What's French for BOOYAH!?"

The Steampunks were the last of the three teams to get their Roquefort Wheel. They threw it in the water and Cynthia landed on it, perfectly. "Come on!" She called out to her brother. He then jumped onto the Roquefort himself, next his sister. The two then paddled efficiently, determined to head up to first.

Yin & Yang were having some problems of their own. Seth has some pains throughout his body, coming from his stomach.

"Dude," He said, clutching his sides in pain, "I don't feel so good."

"Oh no... " Greg began, "It's from the stew isn't it? I can't believe this! Hang on! (The two approached a door marked with a restroom sign... Only, when they opened it, they were hit with a series of fumes to toxic, they stood there, wide eyed and fainted. Well, Seth did anyway, Greg practically used his hand as a nose plug at that point.)"

Inside the restroom was Owen. "MAN," He said, "That Moroccan Stew can really RIP through a guy. (Notices Seth knocked out and Greg pinching his nose for dear live) Uh... sorry..."

- Team Confessional: Yin & Yang -

Greg: That smell was HORRIBLE! I bet Owen's farts are used as an international SMELLING SALT SUBSTITUTE!

- Team Confessional: Reality TV Pros. -

Noah: And that's just a 6.2 on the Owen-Stink Scale.

Owen: There's a scale!?

Noah: Of course. Sushi based farts are a 1, Onion soup is a 5, and spicy burrito farts go all the way up to 12. Those things can peel the varnish of a locker.

Owen: Yeah... (smiling) it's true.

- End Confessional -

"Ew... I-It's like SO creepy in here," declared Tom, "It feels like I'm being watched..."

He and Jen were in the catacombs at the moment, "Hey Tom!" said Jen, moving around one of the skeletons through string puppetry, "I have a BONE to pick with you. (laughs)" The two then shared a laugh until they heard a noise that... sounded like a growl...

"T-T-Tom... ?"

He turned around and saw what Jen saw. A large, shadowy monster was walking towards them!

There was literally a single second of silence. Then, the two screamed in absolute terror, running away, Tom dropping one of their many shopping bags. Still screaming, he went back to get it then continued to scream as he proceeded with running away.

After they were gone it turns out that the "monster" was actually the shadow of a small rat. Who then began to laugh at what just happened. THIS is why I hate RATS!

- Commercial Break -

Next we see some of the other teams with boarding their Roquefort floats, like Brother & Sister, Daters, and Best Friends. But up ahead, as if to repeat the events of the last episode, the Police Cadets and Steampunks were neck and neck, when they heard a cheer from behind them. They turned and-

"No WAY!" Exclaimed Cynthia. It was the Ice Dancers, pedaling swiftly and quickly, with their own two feet. They had ended up passing both teams again. This time Cynthia screamed, "HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE!?" She and Wayne were so shocked, they actually stopped paddling.

- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Jacques: Missing Paddles? HA! THAT wont stop us.

Josee: We've competed in far more dire situations. Jacques once got rabies from a squirrel, but that didn't stop us!

Jacques: I skated, dressed as a St. Bernard, so that all the foam coming from my mouth actually made SENSE!

Josee: Adapting! It's what champions do!

- End Confessional -

As they passed the Police Cadets, MacArthur whispered, "They just get creepier by the minute!"

The Mall-Goers were the next of the teams to get their wheel of cheese. They tossed it out to the lake successfully. However, as if fate chose then to play a cruel joke, the heel to one of her boots gave way, causing her to slip, hitting her elbow against the ground, and falling headfirst into the river. Eric watched this whole thing, so shocked he dropped the box with the single rose inside.

"Hailey!" He screamed as he ran towards the edge of the street looking down at where she hit the water.

Suddenly his face changed from fright, to focus. He stood up, grappled his shirt, and actually ripped it right off of him! He then immediately dived into the water. After a few seconds, he finally rose to the surface, holding Hailey in his arms. He lays her down on the cheese wheel, where, shortly, she regains consciousness, spitting out some water.

Eric looked at her with concern, then said, "Hey, (gets on the Roquefort himself and sits down) are you okay?"

Hailey looks at him for a moment, then their eyes lock. "... I'm fine," She says, "But... (looks down to, well...) my arm..."

Her arm did look bad, There was a gash on the lower half, below the elbow, that was bleeding. The gash didn't look to big, but still looked like it hurt. "It's okay," Eric said. He then tore off the lower half of his pants, reducing them to shorts, and used them each. One to cover the slight gash on her arm, the other was tied on her other arm to slow circulation to the bleeding area, therefore, slowing down the bleeding. Hailey blushed, saying, "Thank you Eric,"

"Of course," he replied, "There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you... I... (He finally took I deep breath... and after a few seconds... He FINALLY said the one thing he wanted to say since they met) I love you."

This brought joy to Hailey's face. Even with her arm injured, she felt as if she we're floating on air at that moment. Then she said, "... I know (this brought shock to Eric, until she said...). Because, I love you too... " Then, at that moment, at that one moment... they kissed. It lasted around 5 seconds and their eyes were closed deeply. The one thing in each of their minds was, "YES! I DID IT!"

After they kissed, Eric went back to the water. "HANG ON!" he declared, "We're gonna win this thing!" Hailey then braced herself as Eric began to push and pedal with full strength. They were eventually going really fast and managed to pass by several of the other players.

Back at the Roquefort Pile the Reality TV Pros. were ahead of the only other three teams. Yin & Yang, Vegans, and Tennis Players. "There's the tip!" Noah said, "And Plenty of cheese wheels! We're still in this! (Reads the tip to himself) Okay... I'll grab the oars, you get the cheese and- (turns around, only to witness the worst) NO!"

Owen was EATING THE CHEESE! "What?" he said, "Roquefort's GOOD for you!"

Meanwhile, ahead of the competition, The Ice Dancers were ahead of the others. "Look!" Josee declared to her partner, "The Louvre, over there!"

"(Looking behind him) Uh... Josee... ?" Jacques began... but never finished, Josee turned to look behind her, then gasped. The Mall-Goers were catching up at an incredible speed. Slowly but surely. They passed the Ice Dancers, and Made it to the dock. The Ice Dancers were so shocked that they actually let the Police Cadets pass them. MacArthur's mocking laugh snapped them out of it and they kept going at a faster pace. The first three teams that would potentially touch the finish line were on their way...

Don was waiting next to the carpet of completion. He looked up from his watch to see the Police Cadets, who were there, Roquefort Cheese Wheel at hand. "Well, Well, ladies," he began, "You made it in first. (See's the Ice Dancers approaching) And the Ice Dancers will have to settle for silver."

"HAH!" MacArthur said to the 2nd-placers, "In you face Silvertons!" Josee smiled, but her eye twitched furiously, but Jacques. was so upset that, well... if looks could kill, he would have murdered the audience watching.

- Team Confessional: Ice Dancers -

Josee: (Angry) We. Hate.

Jacques: (Enraged) That. NICKNAME!

- End Confessional -

Meanwhile, The Surfer Dudes and The Seducers were on their giant rolls of cheese, which were pressed next to each other. Madison was stroking Brody's arm playfully, saying super sweet stuff to him. He seemed happy. "Listen Brody," Madison began, "I have something to confess to you... (Brody got this "Okay?" look on his face) I'm what you call... a player... sorry."

"Wait," Brody said, "So I'm NOT the first dude you've had your eye on? (There was a moment of silence, then...) AWESOME!"

"Wait, you don't mind?"

"Nah, I've seen dozens of cute chick at parties and stuff. But hey... you're the cutest one yet."

Madison smiled warmly at that remark.

- Team Confessional: Seducers -

Madison: ... ... ... (Sinister smile) Okay... whose next?

- End Confessional -

"Okay," Rosa said to the two, still playing innocent, "You two lovebirds just stay focused on the race alright?"

"... ... Okay," Replied Brody... It was clear that he was long gone.

The Steampunks were ahead of everyone else, making up for sweet time, while the Reality TV Pros. were in the very back, Owen eating their Roquefort Raft.

"Owen!" Noah said angrily, "Knock it off, you're eating out raft!"

"Sorry," Said Owen, "Heh, I'll stop. (Eats another piece of Roquefort) Okay, NOW I'll stop. (Eats another piece of Roquefort) Okay, now I'll stop for REAL! (Eats yet, ANOTHER piece of Roquefort)"

Meanwhile, the Mall-Goers had finally reached the Chill Zone. "Whoa," he said, talking notice of their condition, "What happened?"

"Hailey, scrapped her arm," Eric replied, "There's a gash on it."

"Wow... (to Hailey) are you alright? (She nods) Okay, I'll see to getting you some medical attention. You've won third place by the way (The two smile at this)."

Some of the teams were making progress.

Owen was now being used as the raft, cheering Noah on as the lighter boy petaled with full vigor, passing some of the other teams!

Tom and Jen were loading all their shopping bags into their Roquefort wheel. Only...

"Wait!" Tom began, just as Jen was about to jump, "There's no more room. One of us will have to swim! (Jen gasped at this) Don't worry, I'll- "

"I'LL DO IT!" declared Jen, cutting Tom off, "For the clothing! (Tom gasped in shock at this)

- Team Confessional: Fashion Bloggers -

Jen was looking clearly upset, while Tom was closer to the camera than normal.

Tom: THIS (pointing at the angry Jen) is, like, a HUGE sacrifice. Sh-Sh-She only lets her beautician wash her hair...

- End Confessional -

Jen, then jumped off the street, doing a perfect 10 dive into the river. When she came back up however, there was a frog on her head, wearing her glasses. She looked up, saw it, and screamed like a horror movie victim.

The next few teams arrived, "Steampunks," Don said to them, "you are in 4th place."

"Surfer Dudes, Seducers, you are tied for 5th."

Geoff and Brody did a chest bump at this news while the Secuders simply smirked in a "Well, duh!" sort of fashion.

01st: Police Cadets

02nd: Ice Dancers

03rd: Mall-Goers

04th: Steampunks

05th: Surfer Dudes (Tied)

05th: Seducers (Tied)

07th: Best Friends

08th: Brother & Sister

09th: Father & Son

10th: Stepbrothers

The three last-placing teams had finally reached the canal, Tennis Rivals were ahead of the other teams followed by Yin & Yang, and finally, the Vegans. The Tennis Rivals were laughing at the other two teams.

- Team Confessional: Tennis Rivals -

Pete: Y'see the thing is, age is all in your mind.

Gerry: Heh. And in your joints.

Pete: AND it has a little to do with the year you were born! (The two shared a laugh)

- End Confessional -

Don is then seen saying, "And here come some more Teams!"

11th: Superfans

12th: Fashion Bloggers

13th: Daters

14th: Geniuses

15th: Sisters

16th: Rockers

"Well, Well." Don continued, "If it isn't Noah and his ark (The Reality TV Pros.) (He blocks their path to the Carpet of Completion) 20 Minute Penalty!"

"WHAT!?" Owen said, shocked, "WHY!?"

"Because you disobeyed the rules. The challenge was to sail the CHEESE across the river."

"But it's INSIDE me! I AM CHEESE!"

"Sorry Owen. That may work with Chris McLean, but not with me! So just stand back and hope you aren't the last team to place! (Now through V.O.) With one team waiting for the end of their penalty, the last of the teams are determined, NOT to come in last!"

- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: The thought of coming in last place made us realize that we needed to step up our game.

Miles: Yeah, we were super charged up.

- End Confessional -

The Vegans eventually passed both Yin & Yang AND the Tennis Rivals, who were shocked at their speed.

"How is that possible?" Gerry mused, "WE'RE athletes. THEY eat dust and birdseed!"

- Team Confessional: Vegans -

Laurie: Pass the birdseed? (Miles gives her a box of bird seed, which she happily ate from)

Miles: (Holding a dust bunny) Would you like some dust with that?

- End Confessional -

"Okay," said Don, "Here come the Vegans, who take 20th Place."

"Oh No..." declared Owen, "Here come the last two teams! (Noah gt wide eyes when he saw them too.)"

- Team Confessional: Reality TV Pros. -

Owen: I'm gonna feel SO awful if my love of cheese causes us to lose the race. And what's worse... I COULD REALLY GO FOR SOME CHEESE RIGHT NOW! (Begins to cry, uncontrollably, but is able to say at least a few coherent sentences) I have no Self-Control! I'm like a hungry DOG!

Noah: (As if to prove Owen's point, Noah began to hit him with an actual newspaper!) Bad partner! BAD! BAD! (Owen even WHINED like a dog!)

- End Confessional -

The two Teams DID have some trouble moving their cheese wheels for their own reasons.

Seth was way too weak to the stomach from the Moroccan Stew. HE could barely walk without clutching his stomach, leaving Greg to push the cheese himself, which was hard.

The Tennis Rivals were going just as slow due to being unable to push their cheese wheel far enough because, well... they were old.

Eventually, when the two teams were close to the Carpet, just a few feet away. An alarm went off. "Reality TV Contestants, you're 20 minute penalty is up!"

When Don said that, it was like something snapped in those six guys, the next thing anyone knew they had tackled one another onto the carpet. Owen took notice of this, saying, "HAH! It's a three way tie!"

"NOT exactly!" contradicted Don. Who walked on one end of the carpet.

"WHAT!?"

The teams looked at Don's feet. They saw someone else's foot that WASN'T touching the carpet. "Greg," Don concluded, "I'm afraid your leg wasn't in the carpet of completion along with everyone else. I'm sorry. You and Seth are going home."

"Aw m- !" Seth never got to finish that sentence, for his body, FINALLY rejected the Moroccan Stew, spewing it onto the nearby ground...

- Final Confessional: Yin & Yang -

Greg: "It sucks that we had to lose now."

Seth: "If my foot was on the carpet, we would have stayed."

Greg: "But we had fun."

Seth: "We would do this again if we had to."

- End Confessional -

Placing Order for this episode:

01st: Police Cadets

02nd: Ice Dancers

03rd: Mall-Goers

04th: Steampunks

05th: Surfer Dudes (Tied)

05th: Seducers (Tied)

07th: Best Friends

08th: Brother & Sister

09th: Father & Son

10th: Stepbrothers

11th: Superfans

12th: Fashion Bloggers

13th: Daters

14th: Geniuses

15th: Sisters

16th: Rockers

17th: Mom & Daughter

18th: Adversity Twins

19th: Goths

20th: Vegans

21st: Reality TV Pros.

21st: Tennis Rivals

23rd: Yin & Yang (Eliminated)

Gwent Forever: "Now this...was such an amazing chapter! Don't forget to read, review and favorite this story so that you won't miss any updates."