I've been playing with this idea for a little while. I have a bunch of Head Canons pinned to a Pinterest board of mine (you can find me at The_DivineMsEm if interested - I do a bunch of HP stuff) and I've wanted to actually flesh a bunch of them out into proper one-shots. Someone else may have done this, who knows? But I do hope you enjoy this twist on some wacky situations that the HP fandom has taken for truth.

Our first Head Canon is from a Tumblr post, originally written by dick-jenga and then elaborated on by forgivensam. Thank you for your genius.

Harry's POV

"You know mate, you really need to make it down to breakfast on time," Ron said to me as I slumped down into a seat next to him, late again. "Breakfast is to important to waste time."

"Perhaps if someone woke me up I wouldn't have this problem?" I asked rhetorically as I grabbed some toasts and started to load up on eggs.

"I'm not your keeper," Ron said, making me roll my eyes. "Well, technically I am, but semantics."

I shook my head, grinning fondly at my friend. "Where's Hermione?" I asked him.

"She's come and gone. Said she had to talk to Madam Pince about getting that book from the Restricted Section that she wanted for her Transfiguration essay."

"She could have just gotten the book herself with the cloak," I said.

"I told her this, I did. But you know how Mione is about taking the moral high ground, or something like that. I stopped paying attention when the bacon appeared." That was Ron, alright. The only thing he was ever early for were meals.

All of a sudden there was a commotion behind us. We both turned to look and saw a couple of first or second years, by the looks of them, getting into a fight just outside the entrance to the hall. "Come on," I said, dragging Ron up and away from the table. I could see a crowd forming and decided to put an end to this before a proper fight broke out.

When we managed to get to the center of the crowd to the group that started it all, we saw three Ravenclaws and two Gryffindors beginning to shove at each other, spitting insults at each other.

"Why don't you shut your mouth, you stupid hypocrite?" one of the Gryffindors yelled, pulling a Ravenclaw off his friend.

"Who knew what 'hypocrite' meant at twelve years old?" Ron mumbled to me as we continued to watch what was happening.

"I don't take orders from someone like you," the Ravenclaw in question retorted, shaking the Gryffindor's hands off of him.

"Filthy mudblood," another spat at the two Gryffindors.

"Hey!" I said, finally interjecting. I got in between the two, facing the Ravenclaws as Ron put the two Gryffindors behind him. "No need to speak to people like that."

"What do you know?" the one that had said that horrid insult spoke to me. "You're a blood traitor."

"And a proud one too," I said vehemently. "Being a blood purist doesn't mean anything."

"Listen mate, take it from a proud blood traitor," Ron said, speaking to the three of them. "Blood purity is rubbish. Tell me where all the purebloods are now? I'm pretty sure most of them are in Azkaban."

"Funny thing that," I said, frowning at the three, who still looked like they detested being in our presence. "You won't get anywhere if you're banking on how "clean" your blood is."

"You can all shove it!" the first Ravenclaw to speak said. "They're filthy and they always be."

Before I or Ron could say anything, one of the Gryffindors stepped around us to face the Ravenclaws. What happened next shocked me.

This kid licked his hand, wiped it straight down the nose of the Ravenclaw standing at the front of the trio, then started singing at him. "Got mud on your face, you big disgrace, somebody better put you back into your place."

As if this wasn't weird enough (Ron had no idea what was going on at all), the Gryffindor that was still behind us started doing the dance from the song. Stomp, stomp, clap. Stomp, stomp, clap. Over and over again. The Gryffindor in front of us was doing the same.

As it finally clicked what they were trying to do, more people started joining in. FIrst a girl to our left, then someone in the crowd in front of us. Before we knew it, what was once a wide berth was shrinking as all these stomping and clapping muggleborns got closer and closer to the Ravenclaws. The Ravenclaws themselves looked absolutely terrified.

Just when I thought the morning couldn't get any weirder, they started singing again. "We will, we will, rock you." Cue more clapping and stomping. This went on for another minute before I held my handsup in the air.

"Alright, that's enough, you guys have made your point," I called out, the kids immediately stopping. They all looked very smug about the fact that the three Ravenclaws were now completely and utterly terrified, huddled together as close to each other and away from the crowd as possible.

"Get out of here, the lot of you, before a teacher comes," Ron shouted, and finally students started to leave. The Ravenclaws were out of there before we could blink, and soon it was only us and the three Gryffindors together.

Ron and I looked around, making sure we hadn't attracted any teacher attention, before grinning at each other and going to high five the two first years. They looked shocked, to say the least.

"You two won't tell on us?" the girl questioned.

Ron snorted. "One of our best friends is muggle born, and the smartest witch we know."

"All this blood purity stuff is total rubbish," I added. "Just ignore them. When you're fighting for top of your class, they'll be slipping behind because they think they won't have to work for anything."

"Super cool idea, by the way," Ron said, as they turned to leave. "I'm assuming that was a muggle thing?"

They grinned. "Yes, it was."

"Well, uniting and getting strength from numbers is always a good idea," I said, smiling.

"That's what we thought. We didn't know whether to go with that one, or with the 'THriller' dance," they said, smirking.

All I could do was laugh as they left us and Ron became gobsmacked. "Come on mate, there's five minutes left of breakfast," I said, clapping him on the shoulder and leading him back into the Great Hall.

Word Count: 1,004 words

Head Canon:

dick-jenga - a muggleborn student gets called a mudblood. so they lick their hand and wipe it on the pureblood's face, singing "got mud on your face, you big disgrace, somebody better put you back into your place"

forgivensam - all the muggleborns in the vicinity immediately go *STOMP STOMP CLAP* repeatedly getting closer and closer to the pureblood