Hope you enjoy!

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Chapter Two: A Gathering of the Royalty

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"What is this you're trying to give me? It smells… off."

It's tea, silly! And don't remove the tiara. You are the Princess and you have to dress like one. A princess does not complain about the fashions she must wear!"

"AND YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD PLAY WITH US!"

Shifting in his small stool, Urdnot Grunt placed the tiara back onto his head, and pushed back the blonde wig bangs covering one of his eyes. He appeared to be oblivious to both John Shepard and Miranda Lawson standing behind him, watching the tea party of the Princesses Margaret and Princess Calia unfold with a mixture of horror and amusement.

Amusement from the doting father and horror from the honorary aunt who had frequently seen the hulking killing machine of a krogan kill men and beasts with his bare hands, and now here he was, playing dress up.

This wasn't exactly why Miranda had dropped by the Shepard residence in the first place. She had come to visit the two Shepard girls, which she had long ago come to view as kin. But this was not what she had expected. It was, perhaps, something Tali or John would do, but certainly not the krogan.

Miranda glanced over to Shepard; he seemed lost in watching his girls play. It was a strange thing to behold. Shepard at peace, even half a decade since the Reaper War had ended. The man was a tense mess from the moment he first woke up at Lazarus Station. He was always so dedicated to seeing whatever faced him was dealt with; so to have him standing there relaxed, it was peculiar to see, even so many years after the Reaper War ended.

She supposed this shift in thinking was necessary. He was a stay-at-home father, while Tali was the one out working. This reversal of gender roles was something neither of them seemed to mind. Tali, the engineer, would always have work. Shepard, the soldier, didn't have a lot of killing to do these days. Tali loved her work; Shepard had long since come to hate his career. His transition into a full time father was inevitable.

Speaking of Tali, the quarian and she were starting to get along now after years of tension primarily one-sided from Tali. While Tali thought of Miranda as a Cerberus stool (which she was correct about at one point) Miranda never really gave the quarian an ounce of her attention. To her, the quarian was just some hold over from Shepard's past. To Miranda, Tali was just someone to recruit for the Collector mission to help ease Shepard into trusting Cerberus' intentions. Never in a million years did she believe that there was a romantic connotation to their relationship. The first suggestion of this did not come from Kelly Chamber's dossiers on Tali, but in fact, it was a hypothesis from The Illusive Man himself.

Miranda thought the Illusive Man was well off the mark. He wasn't. It wasn't long into the Collector mission that there was a strange in the air between man and quarian. Garrus Vakarian seemed to be the first to notice it. It was apparently quite amusing to him. With her position being what it was, she wanted an elaboration from the turian, which he gave. The quarian was a mere girl during the chase after Saren. She was different by the Collector mission. More… in tuned with what she wanted; and what she wanted since she was a younger woman was Shepard.

Once Garrus clarified the odd little relationship between Tali and Shepard and was quickly followed by the impassioned defense at Tali's treason trial, Miranda found herself not exactly certain what to feel about it. She was by no means thrilled for the longest time. It wasn't until the Reapers attacked in full force did she finally understand just how important Tali was in helping Shepard find his humanity, something he had lost so many years ago on Torfan.

It wasn't a one-sided relationship either. Tali, in Miranda's opinion, was perhaps too much of a humanitarian for her own good… or whatever the alien word was for the phrase. It was very difficult for her to just accept that loss happened, that people were going to die regardless of what happened. In that respect, Shepard worked wonders in forcing the soft hearted quarian to harden up. The galaxy was burning, people were dying. Sacrifices had to be made to save the many. Blood had to be on their hands in order for victory to be achieved. It was a brutal lesson in Darwinism, which Shepard taught Tali, but it worked in the end.

It was little wonder why the two of them were plastered at every opportunity during their off time. It was the only way they could cope with dead they condemned. They drank, used narcotics, fucked whenever Tali could fuck. It was a dark downward spiral of despair they were locked into together as the Reaper conflict got worse and worse with each passing day. It always seemed to get worse. Considering what they had done together to the geth alone, she could not blame them…

"How exactly did they convince a genetically bred killing machine to put on a tiara and… I presume that is a dress… and play a game like this?" Miranda spoke up, breaking herself from her thoughts.

Next to her, Shepard could only offer her a wide grin.

"Are you kidding me?" Shepard breathed back, amused by her question. "Grunt comes here every week or two to do this. Princesses are a major theme to these get together, but this tea party is a first. I think he thinks it's his Krant obligations. Tali figures he's making up for having no childhood."

Looking away from her sister, Princess Margaret directed her big blue eyes up to her Father, her expression haughty, holier-than-thou. She was the perfect representation of a Monarch.

"We desire more cookies, head butler!" she called out to her father in a high voice.

Princess Calia, on the other hand, took a different route then her elder human sister. Representing her age perfectly, she went the sweet route instead. She jumped out of her seat, wrapped her arms around her Dad's legs and looked up at him with her widened bright eyes.

"Daddy can we have more cookies! Pleeease!? PLEEEASE?!" she pleaded with him.

It wasn't just the girls who wanted their refreshments filled either. Without any warning, Princess Urdnot Grunt decided to intervene on their behalf as well. He slammed his fist onto the table, making all of the cutlery scatter and the tea set bounce in place. Ignoring the giggling of the girls, Princess Grunt turned his narrowed expression up to his bemused Krant leader.

"Shepard, we demand more cookies by Royal Proclamation," he growled at his friend, clearly playing along with the children he adored as though they hiss own siblings. "Obey the order or face severe punishment."

Throwing his hands up in a gesture of defeat and deference, Shepard looked amused as he shook his daughter off him and retreated out of the room to get their biscuits… cookies… whatever, leaving Miranda alone with the girls and the krogan killer, who had all directed their attention straight away to her.

Miranda quirked her mouth into a small smile for human and the quarian girls, and she supposed for the krogan glaring up at her as well. She didn't exactly like the way the girls were smiling at her back. It wasn't a sweet smile like they usually had, it was a plotting smile. It was a John Shepard smile whenever he would place her into terrible situations…

"Auntie Miranda you can join us!" Margaret was the first one to call out. Calia bounced forward and collided into Miranda legs as she had with her father.

"Yes, Auntie Miranda… You should be a Princess too!" Calia chimed in as well, bouncing in place "PRETTY PLEASEEE?!"

Miranda frowned slightly and as she placed one hand onto Calia's shoulder, the other onto the top of the girl's head. She found it in herself to smile and look from sister to sister to the annoyed krogan, who was waiting for the game to continue with or without the joining of the woman.

"Oh, I would be… honoured to join you, really I would," Miranda finally replied to the girls. "It's just that like your father, I feel I would be better service to the royalty as part of the wait staff. Surely you would rather me a maid-"

But neither Calia nor Margaret was accepting her refusal. Margaret stood up alongside her quarian sibling.

"PRINCESS, PRINCESS, PRINCESS!" the two of girls sang their chant endlessly at Miranda, as though it would somehow change Miranda's position on the horrifying concept of being a Princess. Christ, this was the sort of thing she tried to avoid coming off as. If that horrid bitch Jack ever saw this, she would have a goddamn field day…

Before Miranda knew it, Margaret had thrown a hand hooked blanket around her shoulders, creating what she supposed was supposed to be a regal gown. Calia was standing on the tips of her toes with a spare tiara in her hands presented to her as though she was a divine ruler. Miranda smiled at the quarian girl and shook her head.

Her refusal was not accepted. Miranda had forgotten that she had no choice in the matter the moment the girls decided she too would join in their games. Their parental enforcer, John Shepard had returned. After he refilled the tray with royal treats, which judging by how shoddily baked they were, were his creation, he reached out and took the tiara from out of Calia's small hands and without asking permission, he set it down into her hair.

"Ahhh… please," Miranda attempted to plead with the girls, as she glared at the smirking Shepard who was finishing to tie the improvised gown around her. "I am not good at these sorts of games. I mustn't ruin the fun."

"Nonsense you, join your fellow royals," John spoke as he placed another small chair at the tea table. Wrapping an arm around her shoulder, he added. "Princesses of the court, may I introduce the Queen of Australia, Her Majesty Queen Miranda, the reigning monarch of all the raging alcoholic, kangaroo punching, Emu fearing, fun loving criminals of the great Australian desert continent. It's only right to greet her with her traditional greeting of 'g'day mate, how 'bout 'nother shrimp on the Barbie!?'"

"G'day mate, how 'bout 'nother shrimp on the Barbie!?" the three Princesses of the Court greeted the newly crowned Queen.

Miranda turned and directed her glare at Shepard, who was trying his absolute best not to explode into laughter at her expense. Like the good, dutiful servant that he was, Shepard grabbed the empty chair and slid it out for Miranda to take a seat in. She could feel the heat rising from her forehead as a dull throbbing pounded away in her brain.

Looking at her eager pseudo-nieces and the krogan one last time, Miranda bit the bullet, forgot the urge to paint the walls with Shepard's blood and stepped forward. Her eyes never left her former C.O.

"I should have never resurrected you," she spoke in a low voice to Shepard as she took a seat and pushed herself in. "Clone Shepard would never make me do this."

Shepard emitted a small laugh and stepped back from the royalty and bowed his head.

"I need to go and make a few calls," Shepard announced to the gathering. He turned to Miranda with a barely concealed grin. He added. "As Queen and therefore, ranking royal, Could I beg you to lead this delegation of the Princesses in my absence, guide these young Princesses through their tea, and ensure the Princess of Tuchanka does not eat the table, Your Majesty?"

Miranda answered with a glare. It was all Shepard needed to bow dramatically once again and following proper procedure, he took three steps backwards and then turned to leave. As he closed the door behind him, Miranda heard the father explode into laughter finally.

Glowering to herself, Miranda turned back and found Calia was smiling up to her sweetly, holding the tray of biscuits and treats out for her to take. Biting her lip as she looked at the burnt oatmeal and coconut cookies, Miranda took one and bit carefully into it as though it was poison. It was not. Shepard had no skill at presentation, but they were surprisingly rich in texture and taste. She had to admit herself impressed that he was taking so well to house-husbandry.

Next to her, Grunt reached out, scooped a handful of tarts and leaned back into his plastic chair, making it groan under his weight.

"This royalty business… it's quite fun," the krogan admitted out loud in-between mouthfuls of strawberry tarts. "Will I be able to order the executions of my subjects?"

"Your subjects are on Tuchanka, silly!" Margaret exclaimed to her tankbred playmate.

Swallowing his food, the krogan eyed the girl. After a moment, he nodded approvingly.

"Oh… Good… So I'll get to kill when I go home!" Grunt exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. Turning from the girls, he gripped his tea cup daintily as the girls taught him and directed his focus to Miranda, adding, "Tell me, Queen Miranda of Australia; are these Emu's fearsome beasts? I would enjoy the challenge of killing them in honour of the Krant!"

Popping a Xanax, Miranda poured black tea into the small pink play tea cup and sipped it.

"Fearsome," was her neutral response.

"That is good to hear," Princess Grunt exclaimed as he slapped his hands together. "I will speak to the Clan Leader about organizing a raid on this Australia… what about this race of criminals that inhabit this desolate sounding wasteland? Are they worthy of the hunt, Your Majesty?"

Miranda replied with a groan as her hand rested against her head as she listened to Margaret and Calia chatter away incoherently in Khellish. This was going to be a long afternoon.

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Poor Miranda… first being an Australian, and now this?

I'll be keeping up at this story, keep it simple interactions and such. I've been thinking about reviving the "First Christmas" (if any of you remember that) in this series. Also, if you didn't catch it I updated Uplifted: The Grand Crusade. Considering how long it has been since I updated that, I figure a second reminder is warranted.

Thanks for reading!