Chapter 7

"Come in." Lily called after there was a soft knock on her door. She peeled her eyes off her laptop as the door clicked open. She'd been expecting to see one of her parents or Liam, but instead a toned, muscled physique, clutching a colorful bouquet of flowers mixed with a get well mini balloon, stood in her doorway. Her eyes met familiar hazel ones, glazed with concern. A soft breath left her lips. "Andrew."

His eyes flitted over her face for a moment. The bruising, markings, and bandages decorating the brunette made his fist clench around the stems of the flowers. He swallowed back his anger as he slowly strolled further into the room. "Hey. I uh...Liam said I could come in."

"Yeah, of course." Lily closed her laptop and slid it beside her.

"I got these for you." Andrew held up the bouquet as he remained glued to his spot.

"That's so sweet. Thank you." A smile found Lily's face. "You can come sit."

Andrew hesitated before he placed the bouquet on her nightstand and sat on the edge of the bed. He ran a hand over his thick hair, cropped closer on the sides and slightly longer on the top. Lily could tell her was struggling to find his words. "I'm sorry, Lily."

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "Why are you sorry?"

"I don't know. I felt like I could have stopped this. I could tell you were off and I never liked him. And I…" He paused as he tore his eyes away from hers. Guilt was suddenly etched into his masculine features. "I know me texting you was what led to...you being in the hospital."

"It's not your fault. Nobody knew. I hid it for a reason. And if you texting me didn't anger him that night, something else would have." Lily frowned.

Andrew's eyes returned to Lily's face. A grimace crossed his face as he examined the swirls of purple and blue hues coating her normally flawless skin and the stitched gash on her forehead that disappeared into her shiny locks, currently pulled back in a messy bun. It made anger ignite within him as he thought about how those injuries came to be.

"I know. I look like a mess." She let out a small laugh in an attempt to hide her insecurity.

"No. You're beautiful. You're always beautiful." He said, causing her to blush slightly and her stomach to flutter. "I just...i don't know how anyone can hurt you."

"He seemed to think it was pretty easy." Lily whispered.

"Well he's a monster and you deserve so much better." Andrew said. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No. Your support is helping. Showing me that you care." She paused for a moment, absentmindedly tracing the pattern on her comfort. "He uh...he liked to tell me that nobody cared about me. And I always know how much my family cares and loves me, but they're family. They have to care, you know? But you don't."

"He's wrong, Lily." Andrew said. His gaze locked with hers. "I do care about you. I care about you a lot."

Lily's heart quickened as she kept her eyes glued to Andrew's for a moment. Butterflies danced in her stomach and she wasn't sure why. This was her brother's best friend. She knew him since she was five. She grew up with him. He practically knew everything about her. Why was she suddenly nervous?

"So when are you coming back to school?" Andrew broke the small moment of silence and returned to a more casual conversation.

"I'm hoping next week. I would have been back this week if it were up to me, but my parents insisted I stay home." Lily sighed. Missing school was a rarity for her. She was an honor student, the junior class president, captain of the glee club, and always played a lead in the school's musical. Being absent was difficult and Lily was on her second week off.

"You need to rest and heal."

"This is the first time I won't be in the musical." Lily frowned. Auditions had been held last week while Lily was still in the hospital and even if they had made the exception to audition her at a later date, she wasn't sure when she would be capable of rehearsing. The injuries she sustained prohibited her from daily activities and so dancing would be impossible.

"And there's no way it'll be as good without you, but you need to focus on getting better. You have a lot on your plate."

"I guess." Lily shrugged.

The two of them continued to talk for an hour. Their conversations revolved around school, the upcoming dance Lily was planning, football, Andrew's college options, glee club, and TV shows. Lily was grateful for the casual conversation. It allowed her to feel normal when her life was so far from it right now.

Rachel's eyes scanned the room. She twisted the engagement ring on her finger. Her hands were clammy and her heart pumped at a steady rate. She had been in this room countless times; negative outcomes had drastically outweighed the positive ones. This room was a reminder of the many miscarriages and failed fertility treatments they had experienced. She could only hope that this would be different.

"Are you okay?" Finn asked.

Rachel met her husband's concerned eyes. "Yes. Just nervous."

The door clicked open. A woman with dirty blonde hair, wearing a white coat stepped into the room with a warm smile. "Hello, how are you doing? It's nice to see you again, Finn."

"Hi Dr. Walker, it's nice to see you too." Finn smiled with a nod.

"We're doing well, how are you?" Rachel asked as she rested her hand on her growing stomach.

"Good, thank you." Dr. Walker crossed the room to where the machine stood beside the examining table. "Should we take a look at this baby?"

"Yes." Rachel nodded. She leaned back and lifted her shirt.

Dr. Walker squirted the gel-like substance of Rachel's abdomen before placing the wand on her stomach. "Are we finding out the sex today?"

Rachel glanced at Finn, who nodded his head. "Yes."

Uneasiness swam in the pit of her stomach as she watched Dr. Walker lean her neck closer towards the screen as she moved the wand. She was hoping Dr. Walker's lack of response about the sex was because she couldn't tell by the baby's position, but something was telling her something else was wrong. She glanced at Finn nervously as her heart sped up in her chest. "Dr. Walker, is everything okay?"

Dr. Walker turned to meet Rachel's concerned eyes. "I just want to run some more tests. Your amniotic fluid is low."

The blood drained from Rachel's face. Her body felt hot and cold at the same time. Her vision narrowed. She heard Finn's voice, but she couldn't make out his words; it sounded like she was underwater. Tears sprang to her eyes and she shook her head frantically. "No, no, no."

Rachel saw Dr. Walker's mouth moving, but she couldn't process her words. She felt as time was in slow motion as the world crumbled around her.

Finn's face was suddenly in front of her as his hand came up to cup her cheek. "Hey, Rach, look at me. Take some deep breaths."

Rachel met her husband's worried eye and inhaled deeply. Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. Her voice came out as nothing more than a husky whisper. "I can't lose this baby."

"I know." Finn pushed her hair behind her ear before gently wiping her tears with the pad of his thumb. "This doesn't mean we're going to lose the baby. Listen to Dr. Walker."

Rachel took a deep breath as she nodded her head. Finn stood up straight, taking her hand in his. Rachel looked at the doctor. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear anything after what you said."

"Don't apologize, I understand this isn't easy to hear." Dr. Walker said. "Your amniotic fluids are lower than we would like, but at this point in time it is not dangerously low. Your blood pressure has been high, which is most likely the cause. Unfortunately, there is no way to fix it, but there are some things we can do to help it. For now, we are just going to monitor the levels closely and I want you to increase the amount of water you drink."

"What kind of issues does this cause?" Finn asked, finding his wife's hand and intertwining their fingers. They were both struggling to process this news, but Finn knew he needed to be the strong one.

"It's a little riskier because you're still in the second trimester, which is when a large portion of development occurs. It can interfere with development and cause birth defects, as well as higher risk for miscarriage, labor complications, and still birth." Dr. Walker saw the panic return in Rachel and Finn's eyes. "But we are not there yet."

Rachel was on the verge of a full-blown meltdown. After all the challenges they had to overcome just to get to this point this is not where they had imagined being. They had been anxious to get past the first trimester after every positive pregnancy test. When they had this time, they celebrated; they had been overjoyed and excited. Now it felt as though the world was punishing them.

"We're going to run a few additional tests and we'll take it from there." Dr. Walker smiled sadly.

The rest of the appointment was a blur. Rachel couldn't even recount the tests Dr. Walker performed as the countless thoughts swarming her mind consumed her focus. The car ride home was silent. Neither Finn nor Rachel knew what to say as they both struggled to process the news. All that joy, all that excitement, all that celebration was suddenly gone. They had expectations of leaving the doctor's celebrating the news of the baby's sex. Learning that they were having a girl now seemed overshadowed by the terrifying potential risks.

"Rachel, talk to me." Finn pleaded gently as he took a seat beside her on the couch. Faith scurried over to the couple sitting before Rachel and resting her head on Rachel's knees.

"It just feels like the whole world is conspiring against us." Rachel whispered as she rested her hand on the dog's head, her fingers stroking Faith's silky fur. Tears began to trickle down her face. "I can't lose another baby, Finn. I can't do it. Especially this time. I got my hopes up. I felt her kick."

"Hey, this does not mean we're going to lose her. It's just a hiccup in the plan. This may not even have any effect on her." Finn reached into Rachel's lap to take her hand in his. "I'm terrified to find out the results on the tests, but we can't jump to conclusions."

Rachel let out a shaky breath as she wiped at her dampened cheeks. "You're right. Losing her is worse case scenario. And anything else we'll deal with."

"We always do." Finn cupped her cheek gently and planted a soft kiss to her lips.

"We should wait to tell the kids. Until the tests come back. I don't want to worry them until we have something to worry about."

Finn nodded. "Agreed. They have enough going on. Especially Lily."

Rachel closed her eyes for a moment before wiping her index fingers beneath her eyes. She patted Finn's legs before standing. "I'm going to go check on her."

Finn's heart swelled as he watched his wife move towards the stairs. No matter what she was dealing with, she pushed it aside to care for Lily and Liam. It had been that way since he met her in high school and over fifteen years later she hadn't faltered.

Rachel quietly pushed the door open to her daughter's bedroom to find the brunette lying on her bed. "Hey, how are you feeling?"

Lily peeled her eyes off the TV screen to meet her mother's concerned eyes. "I'm okay."

Rachel's eyes caught sight of the bright bouquet resting on Lily's nightstand as she strolled towards the bed. "Where's that from?"

"Andrew." Lily said as Rachel sat down on the edge of the bed. "He stopped by today."

"Oh that was nice of him. He's a good guy." Rachel smiled. She raised an eyebrow as she studied the sadness on her daughter's face. "Now do you want to really tell me how you're feeling?"

Lily slowly sat up, wincing as her ribs protested the movement. "I wasn't supposed to exist."

"What?" Rachel burrowed her eyebrows, taken aback by the abrupt comment.

"This was my fate. With Joey. I was created from something so awful. I wasn't supposed to be here." Lily mumbled as she took interest in a hanging thread on the hem of her shirt.

"Oh, my love." Rachel cried sadly. Her heart shattered at her daughter's words. "That is not true in the least bit. "No, you weren't planned and yes, you came out of something so violent and awful. But you have brought so much joy to my life. If it meant having you, I wouldn't change a thing about what happened to me."

"Joey said I'm a burden." Lily whispered, failing to meet her mother's eyes.

Rachel didn't know if she wanted to cry more for the pain her daughter was suffering or break something from the anger she felt that this awful boy hurt her baby. "I don't want you to listen to a single thing that Joey told you. Anything he said was to hurt you and it wasn't true. And you didn't deserve any of it. This wasn't your fate. Liam was also conceived the same way. Do you think he's a burden or that he deserves to be treated the way you have?"

"No."

"Don't make yourself an exception. I love you so, so much. You and your brother. Nothing will ever change that."

"Joey said you would love this baby more because it was created from love. You said not to listen to him, but I don't see how that can't be true. This is a baby you guys both wanted. Especially Dad. This baby is actually his." Tears glistened in Lily's eyes.

Rachel let out a breath, her heart breaking for the umpteenth time since she stepped into this room. She scooted to the head of the bed, so she was sitting beside her daughter and held her arms out. Lily snuggled into Rachel's side, cherishing the comfort of her mother's arms around her. "My beautiful girl, that is so not true. Biology means nothing. It's just our DNA, but it doesn't make love any stronger or weaker. Daddy and I raised you from day one just like we will this baby. Holding you in my arms, watching you grow, creating memories with you that is what strengthens my love for you. It doesn't matter that you weren't planned, I love you with all my heart and so does Daddy. Would you love Daddy anymore if you were biologically his?"

"No." Lily whispered again.

"You are so loved, my sweet girl. You are extraordinary and beautiful and talented. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Lily shook her head in disagreement. "I'm ruined, Mom. I'm just damaged goods now."

Rachel gently twirled the ends of Lily's soft curls. "You are not, love. I said those exact same words so many times and I felt that way for a long time. Ask your father. But it's not true. You were hurt and it's going to take a while to heal from that, but this does not define you. It does not make you any less of a person. This wasn't your fault."

"How am I ever supposed to trust a boy again?" Her voice was meek, reminding Rachel of when she was little and would drag herself into her bedroom, her stuffed cat clutched in her hand, after a nightmare.

"After I was raped the first time I didn't ever think I'd be able to date. That had really been my first experience with boys. With being attracted to someone and flirting and I felt so ashamed for being attracted to someone that could do what he did. But there's no sticker on guys labeling them as bad or good. Once I had Liam I was sure I would never have a boyfriend because who would want to take on that baggage? And then I met Dad, who was the opposite of what I had assumed boys were like. He was kind and gentle. He loved me for who I was and he showed me I could trust him." Rachel explained. "And you're lucky to have many great men in your life to show you that all men are not like Joey. You father, Liam, Andrew…"

"Andrew?" Lily cocked an eyebrow as she craned her head up to look at her mother.

"Andrew is a very sweet boy." A smile found Rachel's lips as she glanced at the flowers. "And it's obvious he likes you."

"That's what Liam said. But I think he just likes me as a friend."

"I've known that boy for the majority of his life. I'm telling you he likes you." Rachel grinned cheekily. "He looks at you the way your father looks at me."

Lily blushed before letting out a breath. "I'm not in the right mindset to date right now."

Rachel nodded as she traced gentle circles on Lily's arm. "I agree. I think you need some time to heal and find that confident, bubbly girl again."

Lily looked up at her mother again, her big brown eyes suddenly sparkling with a new batch of tears. "What if I never find that girl again?"

Rachel smiled sadly. "You will. I promise you, you will. Will you be the same again? No, probably not. But I promise you again you will find yourself again. You will be happy again."

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost three years! I am so sorry for abandoning this story. Not sure if I have any readers left, but I do plan on continuing it. I'd been dealing with health issues, was finishing up grad school/student teaching, and had my sister's wedding in the span of that time. I also just lost inspiration with this story. I got a new laptop this week and rediscovered the story when I was transferring my documents. I also decided to re watch Glee and found some inspiration. I'm even considering rewriting Turning Tables and maybe even the beginning of this story since my writing has grown so much since the start, but right now I will work on continuing this one.

Unfortunately, a few days after I started re watching Glee and rewriting this story, the tragic news of Naya Rivera came out. My thoughts are with her family.

I hope to get the next chapter out in the next couple of weeks!