-Yes I am still alive and writing. Yes I still love Smash. That is all.

-I also can't believe I've been posting on this site since 2009...I feel senile.

After a few more days of supervision at the hospital the doctor signed the release papers for Kyle to go home. Staying at the loft was not an option because of all the steps would not be easy on a broken ankle. Tom offered to Kyle to stay at his place which Kyle reluctantly accepted, already feeling like a burden on Tom. The conditions of his release was he needed to keep off his feet and get a lot of rest. There was also the matter of going to therapy the doctor had discussed with him because of the sexual assault. Kyle really did not want to talk with a stranger about what had happened.

The police had looked hard for Blake but it seemed the man had all but disappeared, like he knew that Kyle was going to tell the police. That only made Kyle more anxious knowing that Blake was still out there and probably furious with him.

Tom opened the door to his apartment letting Kyle in front of him, the younger walked slowly not used to the crutches they had given him at the hospital. He walked slowly to the couch sitting down while Tom put his stuff in the bedroom. Kyle looked around the room, memories of being here with Tom made him sad at what he threw away to be with Blake. He still wanted to be with Tom but the man probably was no longer interested in him now that he knew how screwed up Kyle was. Kyle having such little self-esteem really doubted anyone would ever want to be with him again.

"So you want something to eat or you want to get some rest?" Tom asked as he came into the room startling Kyle out of his thoughts. Kyle shrugged then winced at the movement of his shoulders, he had very little appetite lately and not much interest in anything his thoughts only on Blake and the horrible memories of the hospital.

Tom knew Kyle was depressed, the doctor had warned him to get help if it got worse or was not improving over time. He did not know what to do, Kyle felt like it was his fault for everything that happened even though Blake had used and manipulated him.

"I'm tired." Kyle said softly. Tom nodded watching the younger get up and slowly make his way to the bedroom. He had given Kyle his bedroom even though the younger man had said he would take the pull out couch. Kyle hated being an inconvenience to Tom but the older man reassured him several times that he had no problem with it.

Tom sat down on his couch not sure what to do now, he rarely spent long amounts of time at his apartment especially during the day. He began scrolling through his phone answering messages from people asking about Kyle and some about work.

He must have fallen asleep from sitting in such a relaxed position because the next thing he felt was a cold hand on his shoulder startling the composer awake. Julia was standing above him looking amused.

"Sorry to wake you Tom, I know looking after Kyle is very strenuous. What has it been? Five hours?" She said with amusement in her voice.

Tom sat up rubbing his eyes with his fists then looking around the room. "Sorry I've been really stressed. I guess everything is catching up with me." Tom sighed.

"You know it's fine. I want you to take better care of yourself as well. You've barely been sleeping since Kyle was in the hospital." Julia's concerned tone made Tom sigh.

He ignored the statement about his own health and asked "Is Kyle awake?"

Julia sighed, "No, the poor guy is probably exhausted from all the traveling today. But you will need to wake him up soon to get him to take his medicine and eat a little." Tom nodded in response.

"Not that I don't like the visit and everything, but is there a specific reason you're here?" Tom asked her.

"Well everyone sends their regards from Hit-List, Jimmy is very anxious to see Kyle as you know. He's really turning himself around and working very hard on the show." Julia went on.

"Yes, I've heard from Derek. He's actually being quite civil if not pleasant lately." Tom said in amazement.

Julia chuckled. "I wonder if it has anything to do with you being the love interest of a certain book writer that he needs on his good side." She suggested with a smirk.

Tom shook his head at the theory, "Kyle is not interested in a relationship, the kid barely got out of the last one alive." Tom said, but there was still was a disappointed look on his face.

"Tom Levitt, we've been friends for fifteen years and I know when you are hung up on someone." Julia said knowingly.

"It doesn't matter how I feel, both people have to want a relationship." Tom said as he looked at his feet.

There was a crash from the other room that made Tom and Julia look up quickly. They both ran to Tom's room to find Kyle on the floor along with some items that had fallen off the nightstand. It looked like he had been trying to walk using the table as support.

Tom crouched down on the floor next to him gently putting a hand on his shoulder. Kyle flinched at the action looking up at Tom with tears in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to." The younger whispered. "Its fine, let's get you up." Tom said reassuringly.

He put his arm around Kyle's waist pulling him up easily. Kyle stumbled into Tom holding on to his shirt while Tom help the younger sit back down on the bed.

Kyle's tears only got worse once he was sitting back down. Julia watched and could see the young man was frustrated with himself.

"I can't do anything right." Kyle said as he angrily punched his injured leg repeatedly.

Julia grabbed his wrist as she took a seat next to Kyle on the bed. "You need to relax, I know you're very angry and feel helpless but forcing yourself to do things you're not ready for is not going to help." She said gently as she rubbed the writer's back.

Kyle leaned into her emotionally exhausted, "I want it all to go away." He whispered voice cracking.

It was within a few days when Tom hear knocking on the door, he opened it to find Jimmy standing there alone. He looked nervous as he pulled on his sleeves, Tom invited him in like the polite person he was.

When they entered the sitting room Jimmy just paced around as he spoke. "I know you probably don't want me here after what I said about you. But I want to apologize. I know I overreact to situations and with Kyle I get very protective."

Tom just nodded as he listened.

"I want to start over with you because I know we started out on the wrong foot. Kyle really cares about you and I guess I was jealous the way he would go on about you. He probably would kill me for telling you this." Jimmy said with a shrug.

Tom was surprised, he had never heard Jimmy sound so genuine in all the time he had known the kid. Tom heard he was changing his ways so he guessed it was true; Kyle getting into that situation must had really woken the guy up.

Jimmy was watching Tom for a reaction. "Please say something. You're kind of freaking me out." Jimmy said nervously.

"Well Jimmy, I'm not sure what you have been saying about me that was so bad. Maybe you shouldn't have mentioned that part unless it actually got back to me." Tom said with a smirk. Jimmy grimaced.

"But I have to say, I would never expect something like this from you. You are really getting your act together from what I've heard from others." Tom said.

"Thanks." Jimmy said smiling.

"If you want a relationship with Kyle it has to stay like this and improve. No more jerking him or anyone else around, Kyle can not handle that right now and he shouldn't have to." Tom said, his tone protective.

"I never want to disappoint Kyle again." Jimmy said firmly.

"That's good because I would not let you near him if you did." Tom answered.

"So how is he?" Jimmy asked.

Tom sighed. "He's healing physically, still in pain, but mentally he's still not processed everything. He gets nightmares but I can't get much out of him. He is holding everything in and refuses to talk to anyone about it."

Jimmy shook his head, "That's strange for Kyle, he usually talks about what's bothering him."

"This is a difficult situation, when he was in the hospital he was pretty much blaming himself for the whole thing." Tom said grimly.

"That bastard probably manipulated him to thinking he deserved that shit." Jimmy growled. He was horrified Kyle would even think that. "Do you think I could see him for a few minutes?" Jimmy asked.

Tom nodded, "Let me check if he's awake." The composer said as he left the room to check on Kyle.