A/N: I got this idea from a fan comic on tumblr. Blame them. And Canada.

Also Rebecca Sugar created Steven Universe, and a bunch of people I can't name worked on it. I'm just messing around with the characters.

"G- good evening, Dr. Maheswaran."

Steven was focusing on her nose- it was less intimidating than looking in her eyes- but he still felt the desire to hide behind the thermos he was carrying.

"Hello Steven, how may I help you?"

Steven turned to look at his father behind him. Greg's broad smile and thumbs-up gave him a smidge of confidence.

"Uh- well-" he awkwardly held up the thermos- actually hiding behind it this time- and rushed out his answer. "Connie hasn't come to her fencing lessons for the past couple days and Pearl was worried, and when I called her she said she wasn't feeling well so I made her a fruit-and-vegetable smoothie so she can get more nutrients to help her immune system and it's all organic farm-raised fruit and veggies so you don't have to worry about GMOs (whatever those are) hurting her and even if I can't come in cuz she's contagious can you just give this to her and tell her that I hope she feels better soon thanks."

Dr. Maheswaran smiled, though Steven couldn't help but see a bit of evil in it. "How considerate of you. Come on in." She waved Steven and Greg into the living room, then called up the stairs. "Connie, Steven Universe is here to visit! Would you like to see him?"

Connie's voice echoed from her room upstairs, though Steven thought she sounded a bit apprehensive. "Uh... sure."

"It's okay if you're too sick to see me," he yelled back. "I left you a smoothie!"

"It's alright, Steven. You can come up." She paused. "He can come up, right mom?"

"Sure he can, honey." She turned to Steven with a not-very-approving look and a harsh, commanding whisper. "As long as Connie's door stays open."

The insinuation wasn't lost on him. He wasn't a kid anymore, and his dad had already spoken to him about the various... things that parents speak about when their children's bodies start to change.

"Yes Dr. Maheswaran." He ambled his way up the stairs, not willing to appear too enthused.

"Steven, It's so good to see you!" Connie almost tackled him when he reached the top, pressing his mouth and nose into her shoulder.

He was still coming to terms with the idea that Connie would just always be taller than him— never mind that she was a year (and a quarter, but who's counting) younger and his mother was a ten-foot-tall alien warrior— he didn't need the additional reminder of how much muscle she'd gained over the past two years. Not that he hated the hug. After so many days away from her, it even felt like there was more of her than usual.

"You too." His voice was muffled by said shoulder. "Still need to breathe, though."

"Sorry." She let him go, toeing at the carpet awkwardly. "I just... missed you."

"Me too. You sound like you're feeling better."

"Yeah, it was a... stomach thing. Still hurts a little, but I'll be fine." She led him into her room, then sat on the carpet, smoothing her red skirt out around her.

"What have I missed?"

"I've been working on my shapeshifting. Look!" One flash of pink later, Steven was no longer on the ground. Instead, he supported himself on the arms of a gorilla, swinging back and forth. "Is this cool, or what?" He began walking around on his new arms, sometimes balancing on one or the other to scratch at his neck and back.

"It is, but it... looks really weird."

"I'm going slow. The first time I tried shapeshifting, I turned all my fingers into cats."

Connie's eyes widened as she imagined the scenario. "That sounds so cute!"

"Well..." He gave her a small rundown of the incident, the complications involved, and how he'd managed to solve it.

"I take it back," Connie muttered. "That's terrifying."

"... You probably don't want to hear the story about the time travel thing, then. Ooh! I've been working on my bubbles! Look what I can do!" He spread his fingers, reaching toward a frog

plushie that was resting near her pillow. Within a few seconds, it was encased in a pink bubble, and with a flick of Steven's wrist, it came zooming toward his hand. He held it floating above his palm, grinning, until it promptly vanished into thin air.

Connie gasped. "Mr. Pollywog! What happened?"

"Sorry. Can't always stop that from happening. Don't worry, he's safe and sound at the temple."

"Where in the temple?"

"In the bubble room."

"The bubble room?"

"Yeah, everything we bubble ends up there."

"Everything. Like the monsters and mutants."

Steven nodded and smiled.

Connie did not smile. "That's not safe!"

"It's not?"

"No! What if the monsters get out and rip him up?" She suddenly stood up, pacing back and forth, tugging at her hair. "We have to get him back, my great-grandmother gave him to me and that was her last gift before she died and it's super-important to me."

"Connie, I think- wah!"

Connie dragged him to his feet and toward the door. "Come on, your father can take us in his van-"

"Connie, calm down, I'm pretty sure-"

She rounded on him, eyes blazing with anger and unshed tears as she dragged him by the collar. "Don't tell me to calm down, you runt! If anything happens to him, I swear I'll-"

Whatever threat was on the tip of her tongue was interrupted by Steven's phone ringing. He slid his thumb on the screen to accept the call.

"Hello? Hi Garnet! Yeah, she's here. Okay."

He pushed a button on his screen, and Garnet's voice came through over the speaker.

"Mr. Pollywog is safe and sound, Connie, and the next time you visit, he'll be on Steven's bed. There's no need to drive here."

"Uh... thanks."

"You're welcome. And Connie?"

"Yes?"

"Please let go of Steven."

The phone beeped as Garnet hung up. Connie released Steven.

"Uh..."

"Don't worry; it's cool."

"No, Steven, it's not cool! I shouldn't have gotten so angry."

"But Mr. Pollywog is important to you. I'd be pretty mad if somebody lost Lion."

"That doesn't mean I can just blow up on you like that. I should have controlled myself better. I'm... I'm sorry I called you a runt."

"It's okay, really."

"No it's not!" She began to pace back and forth, rambling. "You're my best friend and you mean a lot to me and I shouldn't be yelling at you or threatening you or calling you names just because I'm... I'm... UGH!" She threw herself onto the bed and lay staring at the ceiling. "I'm sorry I'm so stupid today. You can leave if you want."

The bed sank as Steven sat next to her.

"Everyone's a little crabby when they're sick." He took her hand in his, pulling her to sit up, and looked her in the eyes. "You're my best friend, and you mean a lot to me, and I shouldn't let you be alone when you're feeling bad about yourself. I didn't like that you were mean, but you're not stupid, and I forgive you."

"Thanks."

He reached up to wipe a tear away from her eye. "Any time."

His hand lingered on her cheek, and before he could move it, he found it held in place by Connie's.

She smiled softly, an odd, doubtful expression in her eyes, and her own palm came to rest under his jaw. And then she was moving closer.

It was more of a peck than a true kiss, a soft touch of her lips to his as if she thought she would scare him away. She pulled away and looked at him again, asking the question with her eyes.

Is this alright?

Steven didn't really understand what was happening, but he didn't need to respond with words, either. All he had to do was close the distance.

Connie seemed to become frantic at that point, mashing her lips to his and tangling her fingers through his hair. He matched her ferocity, hugging her tight, but eventually backed off when her tongue swiped across his lips. They held each other at arm's length, taking deep breaths that became shakier by the second.

Steven sighed.

Connie sighed back, and chuckled.

Steven snorted as he took in another breath, which set Connie into full-blown laughter, and he joined in. They leaned against each other, cackling in glee and relief.

Suddenly, Connie stiffened with a gasp. "Oh, no."

Steven wiped a tear away from his eye. "What? Is something wrong?"

"No, I just... have to go to the bathroom." She rushed out of the room red-faced, with an odd, mincing gait.

Steven shrugged, then hopped off the bed to sit back on the floor. That's when he noticed the red blotch on Connie's white sheet.

*****HALF A FREAK OUT LATER*****

"Dad! Dr. Mahesh-woah!"

The adults looked up to see Steven rolling down the stairs. He landed on his face, and Greg was there to pick him up.

"Are you alright? What happened?"

"I'm fine, it's Connie! We were in her room and I think she hurt her stomach laughing too hard because she started bleeding! I'm really sorry, I wasn't trying to kill her I didn't know-"

Dr. Maheswaran's hand came down to rest on his as she stooped down to look at him face to face.

"It's alright, Steven. Connie is fine."

"She is?"

She nodded. "What's happening is completely normal. Greg can tell you about it, though. I'll go check on her."

Greg gave her a pleading, betrayed look, but she was already halfway up the stairs when he realized that she'd left him alone with this.

"C'mon, kiddo," he said with a sigh, leading his son to the couch, "you might want to sit down for this one."

"Are you sure Connie's not dying?"

"Positive. Remember how we talked about how babies are made? Well..."

******* ONE TALK LATER *******

Connie's door was closed. He understood. He'd be pretty embarrassed too, in her shoes. But he knocked anyway, as courageously as he didn't feel.

"Connie, is it alright if I come in?"

"I don't see why you'd want to, but sure."

She was sitting on the floor again, her clothes and bedsheets freshly changed, eating a rather large chocolate bar. "Hey Steven."

"Hey."

"I'm... sorry you had to see that."

He shrugged. "I'm sorry your body is mad at you for not being pregnant."

"That's an interesting way of putting it."

He sat across from her, and they stayed in silence for a bit before he spoke up again. "My dad says that when this... happens, you can go through mood changes and be more emotional."

She nodded, blushing. "I guess you have firsthand experience with that."

"And I was thinking that... maybe you didn't really want me to kiss you."

Connie looked completely scandalized, and he quickly made to reassure her.

"It's okay! I'll still be your friend, and I won't ever bring it up again. I'm sorry if I forced you or anything."

Connie giggled. "Steven... You didn't force me. I've wanted you to kiss me sincr like... forever!"

"Really?"

"That day you healed my eyesight? I was seriously about to lay one on you and hope for the best."

"Really?"

She nodded.

"So you... like me?"

She nodded again.

"I like you, too."

"I kind of figured that out."

"Of course you would. You're one of the smartest people I know."

"Thank you." She took another bite of her chocolate bar and grimaced.

"Your mom is letting you eat chocolate?" Steven asked. "What about trans fats?"

"It helps with the cramps. Also, it's dark chocolate and tastes absolutely horrendous."

"Does it always hurt this bad?"

"No, this one's just... really hard on me this month."

Steven scooted over to be next to her and took her hand. "I wish I could do more to help you."

"It's alright. I mean, it sucks, but I just have to learn to deal with it."

Steven's eyes brightened. "I have an idea! Maybe you don't have to do this alone."

"What do you mean?"

He stood, pulling her up. "Dance with me."

******* ONE PINK FLASH LATER *******

Stevonnie had barely landed on her feet before they crumpled to the ground curled ing protectively around their stomach. "Ow, this suuucks."

They giggled at themself. "I told you this was a rough one. But... it actually doesn't feel as bad as before."

"You mean it felt worse? How did half the people on earth just decide to live with this happening every month?"

"Strength."

They reached for Connie's discarded candy bar and took a huge bite. "Ugh, disgusting. This better help."

They were soon able to get up off the floor, only to flop down onto Connie's bed.

"I think I'll take a nap."

"Good idea."

...

"Thanks, for being with me."

"I'll never leave you alone."

******* FIN *******