So here is the last chapter! Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favorited this story, I could never have finished it without you. When I started writing, I didn't expect the story to end up anywhere near this long, and because of the unusual idea behind it, I didn't expect so much interest in it, or anywhere near as many kind reviews as I have had.
Obviously, (most of) the characters, places and plot do not belong to me, but to the wonderful Julian Fellowes, although I have had a lot of fun borrowing his creations for a while.
I hope you enjoy this last chapter!
After so many weeks of preparation and anticipation, the long-awaited day of the cricket match finally arrived. The tents were set up ready, and the house was a bustle of excitement. Servants were rushing to and from the cricket pitch from the early morning, and even the family were up early.
Tom was awake even earlier, having slept terribly for worrying. He had lain awake for many hours the night before, imagining dropping the ball, falling flat on his face, losing the game for the house. Sybil slept peacefully beside him, exhausted from waking up night after night with Emmeline, and dreaming happily. He had longed to wake her, to hear her comforting and reassuring voice and kiss her. But she deserved these few precious hours of sleep, and he couldn't disturb her. It had been a long night, and several times during the night, he wished time would go faster and he could get up. Whatever happened the next day, it couldn't possibly be worse than this agonising waiting.
But when morning finally came, he was suddenly tired and reluctant to leave the warm sanctuary of the bed. He had to be almost dragged downstairs by a much more lively and enthusiastic Sybil. He felt like a fool in his cricket clothes, which he'd never worn before except to try on. They were Matthew's old ones, which Isobel had found at the back of a cupboard, and which fitted acceptably, but not well.
Unusually, Mary, Sybil and Cora joined the men for breakfast instead of breakfasting in bed, all of them excited and looking forward to the day. Tom looked terrified, and said almost nothing, although Robert didn't notice this, so great was his own excitement. He was confident they would win this year. He had seen all the members of the team play, and was impressed. He was even impressed with the considerable skill Tom had picked up in such a short period of time, although he knew it was Matthew, Mary and Sybil he had to thank for that.
Rose and Violet arrived from the Dower House immediately after breakfast, hours before the game began.
"I hope you finally make good your pledge to win, which you seem to make every year and fail to achieve," was the first thing Violet said to Robert. Robert went slightly red.
"We have the best team we've had for years, since we had James and Patrick. We will win this year, Mama," he said firmly.
Violet raised her eyebrows, as if to say she very much doubted it, but said nothing more.
Rose stood next to her great aunt and laughed silently, disguising it as a cough when she could hold it in no longer and an audible giggle escaped her.
The weather was perfect, being warm and sunny, but not unpleasantly hot. The family chattered excitedly as they made their way down to the cricket pitch an hour or so before the game was due to begin. Already, what seemed like half the village was there, and the village team were in the midst of what appeared to be a very serious and intense team discussion. They looked up warily as the family and servants arrived, assessing the competition, although they were all fairly certain of another victory after the precedent set by the last few years.
Robert, not to be outdone, gathered his team together for a team discussion, only to find that once he had told them how good they were and that they were sure to win this year, he had nothing more to say.
Matthew sat with Mary, watching the teams talk and feeling suddenly isolated and separated from all the able-bodied men who would be playing. Until this moment, he had thought he was ready for this, even after the miserable day he had had the year before. But now, it was painfully obvious that he was different from everyone else. He had been on the school team when he was a boy, and in the college team at Oxford, and knew that he had been good, and that he would have been useful to the house team if he had been able to play. But he had to sit at the edge of the pitch again, like he had the year before, him and Bates the only men not playing.
He looked at Tom wearing his old cricket clothes, the clothes he should have been wearing, the clothes he had worn for the one match he had played here, back in 1913. It seemed so long ago now, it was as if the memories of that day were from another lifetime. Everything had been so very different then, everyone had been so wholly unaware of the horror that was to come. He had done well, and the house team had come fairly close to winning. He remembered thinking when they lost that he would make sure they would win the next year. He had never imagined then that that would be the last proper cricket match he would ever take part in.
And yet he knew he had little cause to be miserable. The day was such a beautiful one, and he was aware of Mary's hand resting lightly on his. He looked up at her face, and saw she had been watching him. She blushed as he looked up and caught her.
"Are you alright, darling?" she asked softly, drawing little circles on the back of his hand with her thumb.
"I'm fine, Mary," he answered automatically. He didn't want her to fuss, and he was determined that whatever his thoughts were about today, he would not ruin it for Mary as he knew he had the year before.
Mary looked at him sceptically and watched his expression carefully. He did look alright, but she remembered last year's cricket match when he had insisted he was fine, and had stayed to watch the whole match, looking visibly miserable all day.
"If you're unhappy, tell me, my darling. We have always promised to be honest with each other. If you don't want to stay and watch, we can go back to the house, or… something," she said.
He paused a minute before answering and sighed. He didn't particularly want to stay and watch, but Mary did, he could tell, and he knew the looks of pity he would get if they left. And there was Tom. He really did want to watch Tom play, and to be there to cheer him on, along with the rest of the team.
He tried for a moment to forget the cricket match, and simply concentrate on that moment. He concentrated on the sensation of her hand on his, the warmth of the sun on his face, the gentle breeze, and… Mary. Mary, his wife, his beloved, darling wife, who was looking at him with such gentle concern and such deep love. And he realised that yes, he really was alright.
"I'm fine," he said, and this time, it was not automatic. It was true. "I want to stay, and so do you. We will enjoy it, darling, you needn't worry about me."
He knew he had said the right thing when Mary smiled warmly and leaned in to kiss his cheek, lingering perhaps a second longer than was strictly acceptable somewhere so public. When she did draw away, she did so slowly, her eyes fixed on his, mesmerised by their bright, intense blue.
"When you two have quite finished, I want to say something to you."
They looked up and saw Tom looking down at them, grinning in a way that made Mary's cheeks go very slightly pink.
"Yes?" she said, her voice almost haughty, as it was so seldom these days, to hide her embarrassment.
Tom grinned wider; he knew her, and he knew what that tone of voice signified. "Thank you, for teaching me. I know I was grumpy about it to start with, but I'm glad. I'm horribly nervous now, but I'm glad. And I can promise, if I drop or miss the ball, or fall flat on my face, it will not be for lack of training."
"I hope nothing of the sort will happen, and I'm sure it won't. And it was nothing. I enjoyed teaching you. It's just a shame Mary and Sybil can't play; if they did, I expect the village wouldn't stand a chance," Matthew replied, smiling back at Tom.
"They certainly wouldn't," Sybil said, appearing at Tom's side with Emmeline in her arms.
"I'm surprised you didn't turn up in trousers and insist on playing, actually," Mary said.
"I thought about it, but next year perhaps. I'm not sure I'm up to it this year, thanks to this young lady," Sybil said, nodding down at Emmeline.
"Well, the world's changing. Why not?" Matthew said. "It would be interesting to see what Robert cares about most: winning at cricket, or propriety and tradition. Perhaps if you begin your campaign now, he will have come around by next year."
Mary thought about it. She had spent so many long days playing with Patrick when she was a child, but that had stopped when she had been deemed too old for it to be appropriate. That had been about the same time everything she liked doing had been deemed inappropriate; riding astride, spending hours playing with Patrick away from her parents, running up and down stairs, going to see Carson, begging for cake from Mrs Patmore. That had been when she had been told in no uncertain terms that it was her duty to marry Patrick and to give him heirs, and to live the circumscribed life of the Countess of Grantham.
She missed many of those things, but cricket had been one of the greatest losses. Edith and Sybil had still been permitted to play, while she had had to sit on a chair and watch, holding a parasol to shield her pale skin from the sun, because her appearance had suddenly become more important that her enjoyment. She had always wanted to play properly again, and now she was married, it seemed like an actual possibility. If Matthew supported her, perhaps Papa would come round; he usually came round to Matthew's plans. He was even beginning to put into action some of Matthew's modern ideas about managing the estate, which he had been so opposed to before. And the world was changing. She could still hardly believe it, but women had voted in the last election. Women were being admitted into medical schools, and were, theoretically at least, allowed to do almost all jobs a man could do. Compared to that, playing cricket hardly seemed revolutionary.
Sybil sat down on a chair next to Mary, and Mary was brought back to the present.
"Are you ready then Tom?" she asked. "I think Papa's gathering the team again."
Tom turned quickly, and saw that Robert was indeed gathering the house team again for a final talk before the match. He ran off to join them, and Sybil called after him,
"Good luck!"
The game was soon underway, and the house team seemed to be acquitting themselves better than they had for years. William did brilliantly, as did Thomas, and then it was Tom's turn. Even from far away in the tent, Sybil could see that his hands were fiddling nervously with the bat, as if he'd never held one before. She longed to get up and give him a reassuring hug, but she didn't, of course. He looked over at her, and she gave him an encouraging nod, the closest she could get to a hug, before he turned his attention to the bowler.
Tom hardly had time to get nervous again before the ball was speeding towards him. He hardly thought, and his hands moved the bat automatically from the hours of practise he had had recently. He felt the ball hit the bat. Good, at least he hadn't made an utter fool of himself. He looked up, to follow the path of the ball, and to his surprise and delight, saw that he had hit it further than he had in all his hours of practise. He gaped in surprise, and almost laughed to himself, then remembered he had to run, and did so.
Matthew, Sybil and even Mary cheered together so loudly for him, half the spectators and even many of the players turned to look at them. Tom didn't need to look to know who was cheering him so loudly, and felt a surge of joy at the sound. He had made Sybil proud, and had made all the hours Matthew and Mary had spent with him worth it.
By the time everyone had batted, the house team were in a better position than they had been even in 1909. As the players came over for refreshment, the grin on Robert's face was almost ridiculously wide and proud.
"Well done, Tom," he said, shaking Tom's hand heartily. "I told you that you could learn in time. I don't know what we'd have done without you."
Tom returned the grin and the handshake, hardly able to believe that this was Lord Grantham, who had barely tolerated him in the house not long ago, who was shaking his hand so enthusiastically.
"You must thank Matthew and your daughters for that," he said. Robert looked down at Matthew, Mary and Sybil.
"Thank you, then," he said sincerely. Then he looked back at Tom. "But still, it was you who hit the ball so well, Tom. Truly, well done."
Then Robert went off to find Cora and a cool drink.
"William did well too," Matthew said. "I must go and find him."
Mary nodded and stood up, going behind Matthew's chair to push him; they had discovered long ago that wheelchairs were apparently not made to be used on grass.
They found William sitting on a wooden chair in the servants' tent, talking to Daisy and making her giggle happily. Mary noticed immediately that William's hand was on Daisy's stomach, and began to wonder.
Daisy stopped laughing when she looked up and saw Lady Mary and Mr Matthew. William might be good friends with Mr Matthew, but she still felt nervous in the presence of the family. And although William was reassuring her, she was worried about their reaction would be to her news. Of course, it wasn't much of a surprise; they had been married for almost two years, and properly married for over a year, but even so, it was clear that she would not be able to keep her job, and she had not forgotten what had happened to Ethel.
William noticed her sudden silence and looked up, then smiled when he saw who was there. He immediately stood and found a chair for Lady Mary, and Mary sat down, smiling gratefully at him.
"We didn't mean to disturb you," Matthew said, raising his eyebrows a little. Daisy blushed and was gripped by a sudden longing to hide behind William, although she resisted this.
"I just wanted to congratulate you. You were brilliant. You'll be Lord Grantham's favourite person at the moment," Matthew continued, smiling at William.
"I think we have a fair chance of winning this year," William said confidently. "I'll be the first time for me; I wasn't here in 1909."
"No, nor was I. I've never seen Lord Grantham anything but disappointed with the result. And doesn't 1909 seem like such a long time ago! It is, I suppose. I didn't even know of the existence of Downton Abbey then, never mind the cricket match." Matthew paused when he noticed that Daisy was not only blushing deeply, but that she was looking at Mary with something like terror. He looked at Mary, and saw that she was looking at Daisy intently. Her expression was not meant to be unfriendly, he knew, but he could see why Daisy might find it intimidating. But why was Mary looking like that, and why did Daisy look so disproportionately scared?
"Daisy, are you alright?" he asked, shooting Mary a bewildered look that meant what's going on?
Daisy just looked more terrified. Mary looked hard at Daisy and raised her eyebrows questioningly.
William suddenly understood, remembering where his hand had been resting. He smiled. Daisy had only told him that morning, and he was so overjoyed, he obviously hadn't done a very good job of keeping his promise to keep the secret a little while longer. He looked at Daisy, then looked down at her stomach. He wanted to tell Matthew now. If he kept it secret a moment longer, he would burst. He knew Daisy was scared she would be thrown out, but he knew the family better than to think they would do that. And really, there was no reason they would. Daisy had been worried about sharing Ethel's fate, but the circumstances were entirely different. He and Daisy were married; it was only natural that she would one day become pregnant. There was nothing wrong in it whatsoever. He looked at Lady Mary, and saw that she knew without having to be told. So really, there was nothing to gain in keeping quiet.
"I… I mean we, well… we have some news," he said nervously, but with a certain pride and excitement in his voice. He took Daisy's hand in his and squeezed it gently, hoping she wouldn't mind too much.
Mary nodded and tried to look encouraging, but Matthew continued to look bewildered.
"Daisy's pregnant," William said quickly.
Matthew stared at him, blinked, then a bright smile broke across his face. "Oh William, congratulations! I'm so happy for you, and you too, of course Daisy."
"Yes, congratulations, both of you," Mary said, smiling at Daisy in the hope of stopping her from looking so terrified.
Daisy managed a weak half smile, but still looked worried. William noticed, and put his arm around her. He knew why she was worried, but he couldn't see that there would be a problem.
"When is the baby due?" Mary asked.
"April," Daisy almost whispered.
"Of course you must have one of the cottages, if you want it; you won't be able to bring up a baby in one room in Downton Abbey. I think the one next door to Anna and Bates is empty, isn't it Matthew?" Mary said. Matthew nodded, and Mary added, "Unless of course you have other plans?"
William and Daisy looked at each other. "Thank you, mi'lady. We haven't had much time to make plans yet," William said.
"Think about it. There's plenty of time," Matthew said.
William nodded, then looked back at Daisy. She still looked worried, and that couldn't be good for her in her condition, so he really ought to put her mind to rest as soon as possible.
"Daisy's worried about her job," he said quietly.
Matthew suddenly realised why Daisy had been looking so terrified, and smiled at her reassuringly. "Of course I'm not in charge of that sort of thing, but you don't need to worry," he said, turning to Mary, as he knew she knew more about this kind of thing.
"You will be able to work as long as you want to, and I'm sure that if you want to work again after the baby's born, arrangements can be made," Mary said easily. "Don't worry about anything, just enjoy your wonderful news."
For the first time, Daisy relaxed a little and smiled. Yes, it was wonderful news, and if even Lady Mary, whom she had always found quite cold and intimidating, was so happy for her and so kind, perhaps everything would be alright.
"Thank you," she said, and she squeezed William's hand.
"We'll leave you two alone," Matthew said with a grin. "We won't say a word to anyone, unless you want us to?"
"No, thank you, we'd rather keep it to ourselves for a while yet," William replied.
"Fair enough. Good luck with the rest of the game," Matthew said, and he and Mary went back to the family tent.
"There you are," Robert said as they arrived. "Where were you?"
"Congratulating William," Matthew replied. Robert was not surprised, but couldn't claim to understand either. Matthew's friendship with William was another thing, like working, that he didn't understand about his son-in-law, but simply let pass.
"Yes, he did do well, didn't he," Robert said happily.
"Your chances look good," Matthew observed, and Robert beamed.
"Yes, I did tell everyone that this would be the year we finally win again, and we will."
Then Robert went back to Cora for a final talk before the game began again. Rose appeared, and seeing no empty seat in the immediate vicinity, sat on the ground on a rug that had been laid out.
"Will there be champagne if we win?" she asked. "Only we really ought to have a proper celebration, and everything is always more fun when one is a little drunk."
"And you have experience, do you?" Mary asked, raising her eyebrows.
Rose smiled ruefully. "Not much. But honestly, I think I deserve some reward. I've been sitting with Aunt Violet for the whole game so far, and she's been interrogating me about any 'romantic attachments' I might have formed."
"Well, she's right to worry," Mary said with a meaningful look.
"She is not, it is none of her business, and none of yours either, as a matter of fact," Rose said defiantly.
"Then you ought not to have left your private letter lying around," Mary retorted. Rose looked irritated, but said nothing. "So have you broken it off with Mr Margadale?" Mary asked.
"Like I said, it is none of your business. But I promise I haven't written him any love letters or anything. Nobody will find out, and nobody will know you knew."
"That's not good enough and you know it," Mary replied. Rose looked away, and saw Sybil and Tom walking over to them, and was glad to have an excuse to stop talking about Terrence.
"You were brilliant, Tom!" she enthused, looking at him admiringly, all thoughts of Terrence suddenly far from her mind. Tom smiled and thanked her. He still didn't feel that he knew her very well, but she was close to Sybil and seemed nice enough. He went to find chairs, but when he returned, having succeeded in finding three chairs, Rose said she would rather stay on the rug, and Sybil decided to join her so Emmeline could lie down and kick freely for a while. Tom couldn't resist his daughter, and joined them, leaving the three chairs empty.
He didn't have long with his little family before it was time to resume the game. He kissed Sybil quickly before jumping up and running back onto the pitch, less nervous this time.
The game resumed, and although the village team were good, the house seemed better, and everyone began to wonder if perhaps this really was the year the house team would finally win again.
After a while, Sybil looked up at Mary and saw that her sister was watching Emmeline with a sort of longing, rather than focusing on the game.
"Mary, do you want to hold Emmeline?" she asked, and Mary jumped, brought suddenly out of her thoughts.
"Only if you don't mind," Mary replied, and Sybil shook her head and carefully lifted Emmeline up to pass her to Mary. Mary cradled the baby gently and lovingly, marvelling at how much she had grown even since the last time she had held her. She looked into her niece's lively blue eyes, and allowed herself, just for a second, to imagine them slightly bluer, to imagine that the tiny person in her arms was made of hers and Matthew's love rather than Sybil and Tom's. Just for a second, she allowed herself to imagine having made something so perfect, to imagine being a mother. Because it was possible. She only allowed herself a second to think of it because it was easier not to hope too much, but the truth was, it was perfectly possible that this time next year, she would be a mother herself.
Matthew watched her and he saw what a good mother she would make. She had said it didn't matter to her if she never had a child, but he saw the longing in her eyes. He reached out slowly and rested his hand on Mary's as she held Emmeline's head. For a second, he allowed himself to imagine that this was their little family. He looked at the baby's blue eyes and imagined them a deep chocolate brown. By next year, perhaps his happy imaginings would come true.
Then they were both brought back to reality by Emmeline's cry. Mary looked worriedly to Sybil.
"It's alright, it's not your fault, and I don't think there's anything wrong," Sybil reassured her. "I'll just take her for a walk for a while, that often calms her." She stood up, took Emmeline, and walked away from the cricket pitch, rocking and bouncing her in her arms gently. Rose jumped up and followed her.
Mary and Matthew were silent for a while.
It was Matthew who broke the silence. "You would be a wonderful mother, if we ever... I'm sorry you're not already."
Mary reached for his hand and squeezed it tightly. "You would be a wonderful father. Who knows what the future holds? It's not impossible, is it? But we also make a good aunt and uncle, and that is enough, for now at least. And we have the advantage of being able to hand over the baby when she cries or gets irritable. Don't apologise darling, it is not your fault. And besides, I'd rather have you than a baby any day."
Matthew swallowed. It wasn't as if they hadn't had this conversation before, but Emmeline just made their reality more obvious and made it so much harder not to hope too much. It was a delicate balance; too much hope, and they might be disappointed, too little, and it was depressing. He did want a child so very much, and knew that at least part of Mary did too. But he thought about what she had said. And it was true. She would rather have him than a baby, and he felt the same. He was the most fortunate man in the world to have her as a wife, and next to that, the misfortune of being childless was nothing. And it was true also that they enjoyed being aunt and uncle to Emmeline, and would enjoy the same thing with Edith's children in the future, with luck.
"And I would rather have you than anything or anyone," he said eventually, making Mary smile. "Come here."
Mary looked around at the rest of the family and the other spectators. It was a public place, but nobody was really watching, their attention fixed on the game. And what did it matter what other people thought anyway? She loved her husband, loved him more than she had ever thought it possible to love, and really, what did it matter who knew it? They knew already. She rose to her feet, then settled down carefully on Matthew's lap. She felt him snake his arm around her and she sighed happily. Yes, children were a small price to pay for this, anything was a small price to pay for this. She kissed Matthew briefly, then turned her attention to the game.
"Dr Clarkson's the last," Matthew said as the doctor took the bat and prepared for the bowl. Carson bowled perfectly, but Mary groaned as the bat hit the ball hard. It looked as if it would go far. They were ahead, but not far enough ahead to be safe, even at this late stage. But the ball sailed through the air towards Tom, at the right height for catching.
"Catch it!" Matthew shouted, and Tom reached up and caught the ball. Mary and Matthew watched as a grin spread across his face and he laughed with delight.
"We've won!" Matthew said excitedly. Mary laughed happily and kissed Matthew full on the lips, victory making her bold and uncaring about who saw.
When she drew away, she said, "We've done it, we've finally won!" she said, her voice breathless and excited.
"'We'?" Matthew asked, raising his eyebrows; they had done nothing but watch and cheer.
"We taught him to catch, didn't we? And we're from the house. Definitely 'we'."
At that moment, Tom came running over and shook Matthew's hand.
"I did it! I caught it! We've won! Thank you, I couldn't have done it without you! Where's Sybil? I need to tell her how much I love her," Tom said excitedly, hardly thinking what he was saying in his euphoria. Mary pointed, and he almost ran off to find his wife and child.
"I need to tell you how much I love you," Mary whispered in Matthew's ear.
"And how much is that?" he asked, whispering too.
"This much," Mary said, and kissed him passionately, putting her arms around him and pulling him closer, as he did the same to her. Their tongues met and she shivered with pleasure at the familiar sensation, which was somehow almost more wonderful every time. She poured all her love and joy into the kiss, pressing her lips hard against his, needing him as close to her as was possible.
Matthew lost himself in her and his love for her, forgetting where they were or why he felt so euphorically happy, abandoning all thoughts but love. When he drew away slowly, he looked into her eyes.
"I didn't think it was possible to love as much as I love you. I know our life isn't perfect, but it's so much more wonderful than I ever thought my life would be. I love you, Mary."
Mary rested her head on his shoulder, and Matthew felt wholly contented and happy. He held her tightly and breathed in her familiar scent, which was mingled with the sweet summer smells of freshly cut grass and wildflowers. No, he had been wrong. Nothing could be more perfect than this moment, this wonderful woman in his arms.
Two years ago, he had thought his life was over. He had lost all hope for the future, first with the horrors of the war, and then with the loss of his legs. He had lost all hope of love, of marriage, and of children. He had lost Mary even before all of that. He had just been waiting for some infection to finally end his suffering and relieve his family of the burden he had become. Now, he realised how wrong he had been. It had certainly been the end of his old life, but his new life had been just beginning. Now, he had Mary, he had Downton, he had the rest of the family, and he had the possibility of a child in the future. He didn't know how many years he would have of this life, but he was determined to live every minute to the full.
Mary looked up at his face, her dark brown eyes full of love, framed perfectly by her soft eyelashes, and whispered,
"I love you. I will always love you. That is all there is, all that matters."
Their lips met again, sweeter and calmer and less desperate now, and nothing could have made the moment any more perfect. Whatever changes and challenges the future would bring, they would always have each other and their love, and that really was all that mattered.
We have reached the end of this story, but I am in the process of writing the sequel, and the first chapter is already written. It will be posted when I have finished planning the whole story, as I have learned from this story that planning ahead makes updating regularly less difficult. I do have lots of ideas for where things will go from here, but I would be grateful for any suggestions if there are things you would particularly like to happen.
Andromeda