Yo, it's your buddy Graksis. This was written a while back as a Challenge, and I have had it here on my phone. Just a One-Shot, crack-fic. Enjoy eve crazy side of my mind :)

Jarl Balgruuf the Greater had quite the situation upon his hands. It was a curious thing, one which his loyal, dark elf Housecarl Irileth had found to be an even greater oddity in Whiterun. It was a single thing, a simple item of food, but it wasn't just one. There were many cases of this item being stolen from houses all over the hold, and while it was easily replaced, it all seemed to come right back to Balgruuf.

Cheese.

All types of this food item had been taken, and placed right where the noble Nord sat. His trusty throne. It all started a few days prior, when he had woken up for his normal routine, and found that his routine was most definitely defiled. He moved to take a seat, only to find that he was slightly more elevated, and sitting in a mushy consistency. At first he thought it was a prank by his children, but alas, it was not. He was tempted to ask his Thane of the situation, only to find that the Dovahkiin was not in the city at the time.

He even wondered if Farengar Secret-Fire had conjured up all the cheese, but the Mage had no way of doing so.

And now, his throne was completely surrounded with piles of cheese wheels, all stacked neatly in columns and steps. "Who could do such madness?" Balgruuf asked as he turned to Irileth, scratching his beard.

"I do not know, My Jarl. No one has heard anything during the night, nor seen anything." His Housecarl replied softly, her hand upon her chin.

The doors opened, revealing the Dragonborn, Iridian Malthe, a near forgotten descendant of the Hero of Kvatch, Mari'sa Malthe, a white haired, hearty Nord woman with the purest blue eyes and an innocent face. She had slain Alduin, the World Eater, and brought peace to Skyrim during the Civil war. "My Jarl. How do you do... Oh. That is quite a lot of cheese.." The ebony armored woman said quietly as she with her helmet in hand, white brows furrowed in confusion.

"And we have yet to find how, or who has done such." Irileth said quietly.

The Dragonborn approached, a semblance of a smirk on her face before she broke into a mad laugh, holding her armored sides as she did so. "What is this madness that has come over you?" Balgruuf asked, confusion etched upon his face.

After a moment of side splitting laughter, Iridian rose, grinning softly. "My Jarl, you are the Cheese Master of Skyrim, and I am your loyal Cheese gatherer."

"You mean.. You are the cause of this madness?"

"Why, yes, I am, Irileth. All in good fun. Do not worry, the ones who have had their cheese taken away have been well compensated for them." Iridian gave a cheeky grin, turning on her heel, heading back out of the door to leave the stupefied Jarl and Housecarl gaping.