This idea just came to me out of the blue. I thought back to "Legendaddy", and thought to explore a gap of Tracy's. Just a fun and silly one-shot; high in dialogue, and probably not my best work. But I hope you all enjoy it anyway, and get a good chuckle out of it. (I'll admit to laughing as I was writing it!)
June 2014
"Oh, c'mon Robin, you totally know this song!" Ted said.
Robin lifted her hands up. "I swear, I don't know which song you guys are talking about!"
They'd been going at this for 20 minutes now.
"It has that whistling bit in the intro," Lily added, sounded exasperated. "C'mon, Scherbatsky: your memory can't have gone to crap already! Barney can't literally have banged your brains out."
"Pfft," scoffed Barney, taking a sip of his scotch. "I most certainly have banged women's brains out. And I've banged them back in again. True story."
Robin threw her husband an only-just-slightly-amused look, and then looked back and gave the group a blank stare.
Ted sighed, and looked around at the gang in the booth. "Ok, guys: let's just do the whistling part. Then she'll remember what song we're talking about, she'll feel like an idiot, and we can move on to a new subject," he said. "One, two, three..."
Five pairs of lips were quickly pursed, and the gang whistled the song in question. Ted's eyes moved to Robin, hoping to see a glimmer of recognition. Nothing. His eyes then moved to Tracy sitting next to him, her lips pressed together, but...
"Wait, hold up, guys!" he said, motioning the gang to stop. "Babe: you weren't whistling."
Tracy's eyes widened. "Whaaaat?" she said, her voice slightly high-pitched. "You need to get your ears checked, pooh bear, because I was whistling like... like nobody's business!"
Ted eyed her suspiciously. The bonus of being in a relationship with someone for over a year now was knowing when they were lying. And Tracy was most definitely lying. "Babe, I'm sitting right next to you: there wasn't any sound coming out of your mouth."
"Ted, I hope you're not calling me a liar," Tracy told him, a warning tone in her voice.
The other four gazed at the couple, amused: Ted and Tracy hardly ever argued—particularly in public—so watching them about to get into a tiff was sure to be fun. (Fun, as long as Tracy didn't ever get angry at them; they never wanted to see what her "bad side" looked like.)
Poor Ted: as much as he loved Tracy, he didn't want to be wrong. To his own detriment, as they would soon find out.
He called her bluff.
"Ok, whistle for us now," he demanded.
Tracy narrowed her eyes and glared at Ted. He returned the gesture. They stared at each other for a few long moments, both waiting for the other to fold. They were both stubborn, neither wanting admit defeat.
"Dammit, Tracy! Can you whistle or not?" Marshall finally cried out, unable to contain himself. "The suspense is killing me!"
"Alright, fine," she finally admitted unhappily. "I don't know how to whistle!"
The gasps from the group eventually turned to giggles and laughter.
"You serious?" asked Barney, smirking at her.
"Yeah," chimed in Robin. "That's something you should've mastered as a kid. Like tying your shoes or wrangling your first bull."
She just shrugged her shoulders. "I just never grasped it, I guess. It's not a big deal."
"No, no," Ted said, taking her hand. "You are going to learn to whistle. And we're going to teach you! Right guys?" He looked around at his friends eagerly. "I mean, all you have to do is press your lips together and blow. It's easy!"
"Ok," Tracy responded, but unconvinced. We can try..."
30 minutes later...
"Wow, you're hopeless," said Barney, amazed at Tracy's ineptness when it came to whistling.
"Seriously," agreed Robin. "My worldview's been altered. I though you were amazing and could do anything. Ted clearly oversold you to us, honey."
"At one point, you were sucking in air instead of blowing it out!" Lily uttered in amazement. "Who does that?"
Tracy shook her head, embarassed. "I told you guys. People have been trying to teach me for as long as I can remember. I just can't do it. And I've accepted it."
"But, but..." Ted sputtered. "You're a musician, sweetie! How can you not do something as musical as whistling?"
"It's not like it affects my singing or bass playing," she told him with a laugh. "C'mon, everyone has certain knowledge gaps, where they can't do something extremely basic. I'm sure each of you have, or have had, at least one." She looked at each and every one of them pointedly.
Lying to Tracy's huge, earnest eyes was never easy. They all looked at each other nervously and then down at their laps.
"Nope..."
"No idea what you're talking about..."
"Pfft. I'm awesome..."
"I totally never chocked on aspirine before..."
Tracy eyed them all suspiciously and sighed, and then gave her boyfriend an accusatory glance. Ted very much knew what she was thinking: Traitor. After all, she knew about his 'chameleon' gap.
"Oooookay," she said, defeated, sliding out of the booth and standing up. "I'm going to be late meeting Kelly for dinner. But in short: you all suck. And you." She turned to look at Ted. "All you do is blow, huh? Since I can't do something as basic as that, well, I guess I won't be blowing a certain something for a little while. Bye." And she stormed out of the bar.
The rest of the gang was left sitting there, stunned. And feeling slightly guilty for putting so much pressure on Tracy. They all clearly didn't appreciate it when their own gaps were rubbed in their faces.
Ted felt especially guilty. And he knew he'd be in deep trouble when Tracy stopped by his place later in the evening. It wasn't going to be pretty; after all, Tracy had already chosen her punishment for him. Her frustratingly cruel punishment.
He should've never said a darned thing.
Ted continued to sit there dejectedly. Lily looked over at him sympathetically.
"Aw, sweetie. Want my accidental curly?" Accidental curlies always made everything better.
At his slow nod, Lily reached into her fry basket and tossed the curly fry in Ted's direction... which missed him completely and landed on the floor by his feet.
"Oops..."
Ted just sighed.
END