Nightmare

"Renji, naze koko in iru?"

"Ore wa…fukutaichou."

"Taichou...naze? Naze…ore o mamoru?" It was raining. Renji didn't know how it was possible that rain had appeared in the hellish world. It didn't matter, however. In his red hand, stained with blood, held the eerily limp and pale hand of his taichou. Kuchiki Byakuya's entire chest cavity was gone. A dark hole seeping with blood still wept despite of the weakening form of the Shinigami in Renji's arms. The red-haired Shinigami didn't even notice the close proximity of his taichou's body, only seeing the white haori darkening more and more with blood. Kuchiki Byakuya was barely breathing, his chest barely rising as his face was buried in Renji's lap. The scene was reminiscent of when his captain had taken Ichimaru's zanpakutou to the heart, saving Rukia from death after her near-execution. Even then, Renji had wanted to protect his taichou. Even though he lied in his heart and soul that he hated the noble. Rukia's tears and cries for her brother echoed in the fukutaichou's mind, months after his taichou had healed from his wounds and Rukia's smile came to her eyes when she talked to Renji about his taichou. So many times, Renji had wanted to tell him the truth. So many times of when he had wanted to tell him…

Naze…ore o mamoru…taichou? It was supposed to be the other way around. Renji was supposed to protect his taichou. This time, he thought, he wouldn't simply stand helpless as he watched the taichou he had once desired to surpass get his ass beat, blood again the only thing he could see. Ore wa… But nothing had changed. His proud, beautiful captain had blocked the fatal blow that was supposed to instantly kill Renji. The red-haired Shinigami had felt only numb as he watched his captain fall, his entire chest cavity gone and blood soaking his haori. The enemy's cold eyes, echoing in Renji's stunned brown orbs as his taichou fell, the zanpakutou of the captain of the sixth division becoming slick with blood and falling onto the ground.

It had shattered.

"Why did you defend him?" The second-in-command of the Quincies Jugram Haschwalth, stared at the scene before him with an unknown expression on his face. "To posses such weak feelings for a subordinate..." He stared at the fallen Shinigami with an emotion akin to regret. "I thought, you red-haired Shinigami," the Quincy said as he stared coldly into Renji's eyes as they stared stunned at the scene before him, "did not fear death." The Quincy had started to raise his sword before Renji a murderous rage shake through him, robbing him of any thought. "It was a mistake to consider you a worthy opponent." It was then that Renji had released his strength that he had gained during his time in the Soul Palace. How he had wanted to show his taichou of how strong he had become. Not like this! Renji thought desperately as he aimed the final blow and started to run towards his taichou's eerily still form. Never...like this!

"Taichou…" Senbonzakura was shattered by his feet. It was his taichou himself who had told Renji of what a broken zanpakutou in a bankai state meant, back to that day, feeling so long ago when he had fought him to save Rukia. Taichou… So many feelings. So many emotions as he stared at the Shinigami, the once dark hair streaked with blood and his body in Renji's arms. And yet…Renji refused to believe that he would die. He would not die, he would not die, and Renji would have to suffer the fate of having Senbonzakura tear his flesh once his taichou regained his senses. "Taichou, naze? Naze…omae wa…"

"Renji." The red-haired Shinigami stared as Kuchiki Byakuya turned his face towards his and opened his eyes. Beautiful… Renji thought, never seeing those dark gray eyes so peaceful. "Do not cry, Renji." It was only then that the younger Shinigami felt the warm tears streaking down his face. What…? Renji absently thought, his other hand touching his face in shock. "I have failed. The enemy…" The captain of the sixth division's blood continue to pool. Renji tried to not feel the cold fear pulsing through his limbs at the sight of blood dripping down his taichou's throat. "Although the enemy…has been defeated, I have been shamefully grievously wounded. I…did not even manage to defeat him." The Shinigami took a shuddering breath and his hands slightly weakened. "I am…ashamed of all of this."

"Taichou –!" Renji almost wanted to scream at the bullshit of that statement when he stilled when the dark-haired Shinigami raised his shaking hand and placed it against Renji's cheek.

"I defend you…because you are my fukutaichou."

Renji could only watch as his taichou's dark gray eyes closed and his body stilled. His hand, falling as his fingertips brushed against the dark red liquid.

"Taichou?" There was no answer. "Taichou?" Renji felt his breathing fluctuate as he saw of how still his captain lied still in his arms. "Taichou!" How was it that he was not dead? His mind…almost seemed to shatter, break into many pieces at the sight of his taichou lying so still…his face pale and soaked by rain and blood.

"Taichou!"

"Kuchiki-taichou!"

The shout came out as a gasp as Renji awoke. His breathing still came in gasps as his hands shook as they grasped the fine material. Vomit approached his throat as the dream – the nightmare, haunted his mind. Taichou… Renji looked around the room. It was beautiful, with the shoji screens painted with cranes and nature. The red-haired Shinigami swallowed heavily at the sight of a sakura tree painted across from a crane resting beside pond. Onegai… Renji stood, brushing out the wrinkles in the yukata from sleep as he eased his feet into the fine footwear needed in such a place as this. At another time, the red-haired Shinigami would have exclaimed at the beauty that surrounded the area. Now however, his mind was focused on one thing.

"Ohayou gozaimasu, Abarai-san." Renji broke from his thoughts and saw the oldest servant Michiko nodding her head politely to him. Sadness appeared in her eyes, but Renji pretended not to notice it as he walked past.

He opened the doors to the room without a sound, walking slowly to the center of the room. Renji saw through his brown eyes that nothing had changed since he had left many months ago in this room. A small desk with inkwell and calligraphy paper lied in the center. A closet was near the bed, where Renji knew the kenseikan, the scarf, and the fingerless gloves were kept along with the white haori and shihakushou were neatly placed inside. Slowly, Renji turned toward the figure unconscious in the bed before him. He was wearing a white yukata, the white similar to the paleness of his face. His dark hair, long and free of blood, a couple of strands over his forehead. The numerous machines now were absent, and yet the dark grey eyes Renji had desperately thought to see had yet to open.

"Taichou…" Renji whispered as Kuchiki Byakuya continued to lie unconscious. His hands shook, and the red-head desperately tried to fight away tears. It had been months since the war with the Quincies had ended. So many had died…and so many broken beyond repair. The Gotei 13 had slowly been rebuilding its strength, repairing wounds. And yet it had been three months since the war had ended…and Kuchiki Byakuya, the taichou of the sixth division and the 28th head of the Kuchiki clan had yet to wake.

"Onegai…taichou." Renji felt the tears streak down from his cheeks. They pelted into the material, soaking into the blanket that had been abused this way so many times before. "Onegai...okite." I had never cried before, Renji thought as a choked sob came from his throat as he thought of how he had shouted for his taichou until his voice had died. Of how he had fallen unconscious with the captain in his arms, only to wake with Rukia by his side, in the fourth division, desperately trying to calm him down as he demanded how Kuchiki-taichou was doing. As if he had not seen his taichou's zanpakutou shatter or hear his words that Renji still didn't understand. Tears streaked onto his knuckles, pelting onto the floor below as Renji felt himself fall onto the floor and hold his taichou's still hand in his own. Until I met you… He remembered of how he had managed to break free from his hospital room despite of the agony raging through his entire body. Taichou…! He had found Kuchiki Byakuya in an isolated room, attached to so many machines it was almost impossible to find the face of the captain of the sixth division. Rukia and several members of the fourth division were shocked to find him lying on the floor beside the critically wounded Kuchiki Byakuya, sobbing with tears streaming down his face.

"Yokatta…yokatta…yokatta… omae wa ikiteru…Yokatta…omae wa…ikiteru."

"I want you to wake so I tell you what a fool you were, Taichou! It was I who should have protect you! But I failed you! I...failed you!"

Translations in order:

"Renji, why are you here?"

"Because...I am your vice-captain."

Why, Captain? Why did you protect me? You...

"Please...Captain. Please wake up."

"I'm glad...I'm so glad...glad...that you are alive."