They worked with the family for next few days and Stef still couldn't handle the change in the family and new things that got out. She felt betrayed. The rest of the family tried to adjust to new information and shift . Now, two of them were not siblings, but lovers and someone who was very determined to keep their relationship alive. All of them knew there would be some very uncomfortable sessions and one of them was ahead of them.

''So, Callie, can you tell us how the cutting started?''

She took a deep breath and Brandon took her hand.

''It started few weeks after he left. School started, new things were happening, but I didn't care. I went to my classes, did my work, and helped with the things in the house… I would sit with them during lunch or some other meal and keep it to myself. I was never much of a talker and with Mariana who can talk for days, I didn't have to force myself to talk. Moms would ask how my day was and I would give them enough for them not to ask much more. I was pretty much like a robot. Just performing all the functions with no emotions. My emotions were…caged in a way. I think that is the best way to describe how I felt. I was caged, trapped in my own pain and personal limbo.''

''Was there anyone you could talk to?''

''No, I was pretty much alone. I couldn't tell anyone in the house. My GU friends were pretty much against our relationship before anything happened and I was not sure if someone would tell Rita or do something to jeopardize my adoption. I moved into Brandon's room and found his diary. I spent nights reading things about myself and us. ''

Brandon lowered his gaze. There were some pretty harsh things about her. He now felt bad about some of the things.

''I was so taken by his pain and disappointment that I felt a need to punish myself. I just needed to feel something…''

''When did the first cut happen?''

''My birthday…I finally turned eighteen and the reason to be happy about it was somewhere…far from me. Moms made me a party; I put on my fake happy face, but couldn't take away the feeling of not wanting to be there and just wanting him. As a surprise, moms brought my ex-boyfriend who in the time turned into a pretty good friend. They believed I was sad because we were not together anymore and they wanted me to be happy. He was the only person I told about what happened between Brandon and I. He was huge support and he didn't judge me. He kept our secret safe.''

''Why would you tell your ex and not some of the family members? Even Jude?''

Doctor asked her something what was also a question of the entire family. Why she never said anything, even to the kids?

''I couldn't tell Jude. He would have been angry and judge me. We lived in the family where I liked my foster brother….and Jude noticed that. He learned we had sex and he was so angry at me… But in fact…I didn't have sex…I was raped. And Jude learned the truth long after. I was not ready for him to question my and Brandon's feelings and compare it to what happened with Liam. Brandon was never like him. B was my biggest support and someone who was always there, even more than the moms…and I choose to hurt him and brake his heart.''

''And yours was broken too…''

''I got used to it. Mine was broken all the time since my mom died. I forgot I had one and I had needs. I put Jude always before me.''

''Are you sorry for that?''

''No, I had no other choice. I did what I had to.''

''And when did you put yourself first?''

''Few days ago when I annulled the adoption.''

''Isn't that putting Brandon first?''

''No, I did it for me too. I realized I can't deny it anymore. He was not ok and I was not ok too…We picked the wrong ''solutions''. Razor and bottle were not it. If we got a bit further, we could have died. That fact was a wakeup call. I had to do something! I had to fix myself and he has too.''

''Go back to cutting…''

''I cut for the first time on my birth day…as I told you. Moms and the rest of the gang went to sleep and I was awake. Not tired, not sleepy, but just mentally out….blank…I got to the bathroom and took a razor. I made a small cut, just a scratch and again I felt nothing, not even a pang. I was beaten and slapped around so much that my tolerance for pain is high. I had to cut deeper. Seeing blood and feeling the pain gave me some relies. That woke me up a little. I felt something. I felt pain…same pain I inflicted him.''

Brandon still held her hand, but couldn't look at her.

''It felt like adequate punishment for hurting him and causing so much pain to him. His words cut worse than that razor has ever cut me. So, each time before I cut, I read his diary. ''

''Why?''

''To hurt myself for hurting him. Once I cut too deep and my friend Daphne had to take me to the clinic. We escaped before they could call anyone to pick me up or do the psyche evaluation. I lied to moms that I got some stomach flu and that I was staying at home because of it. Truth was I cut so deep that I had stiches and it hurt to stand or walk. ''

Doctor turned towards Stef and Lena.

''Did you have any idea this was happening?''

''Are you saying we are bad mothers?''

''Do you feel that way?''

Stef was getting angry at the doctor. She did feel a bit guilty, but it was not all her fault. Lena lowered her gaze.

''Until we got the information about Brandon, I believed we were just like any family, but with a bit different circumstances because Stef and I are two women with kids. In our teens, we all rebelled against the parents in some way. I waited for Brandon to come home and for Callie to open up a bit to us. I believed she was so closed off because of what happened to her in the homes before us. Now she was adopted and I hoped that would help her open up to us. I was just waiting for the moment for her to realize she is part of the family and we love her. But after learning that we had two kids close to killing themselves… I am not sure what sort of mother I am.''

Brandon and Callie felt bad for Lena. She really was sorry and powerless at that point.

''I am still shocked none of us noticed how serious feelings they had for one another. I feel like I failed them.''

''We didn't fail them. We gave them all! When Callie and Jude came to our house, they got family, they got home and they were safe. No one touched them or did anything to harm them after they came to live with us. I don't like that attitude Lena. We told them they should stay away from one another and all that happened after is their own fault.''

''Stef, we never really took our time to see what they feel and how far that left. We were too blinded by our happiness of adopting Callie that we didn't notice how unhappy they are. You blackmailed Robert to sign the papers…You did a lot of things that are not so nice Stef…and I stood by you and kept it silent. But I can't let that continue. We have to deal with our kids and the problem they have. And we have with them.''

''Our children? The one that disappeared into the night or the one that annulled the adoption behind our back? I have no idea what are you talking about.''

''They are still our kids.''

''Are they?''

Mike looked at his ex wife in surprise.

''How can you say he is not your son? He is OUR son Stef and as parents we have to do all we can to help him. And she is also one of my kids. Yes, she found her father and they formed a relationship, but for me Callie, Mariana, Jesus and Jude are also my kids…and I don't live with them. They are your children and stop being stubborn ass and accept that our son and our daughter have serious problem and they need us to bet here and support them. ''

''Our children Michael? When did that happen?''

''When you asked me to be there for Jesus and Mariana. Three of us are their parents…Maybe two of you on paper, but I am their parent too. As Lena is Brandon's third parent… You made me part of that family and I'll be damned if I let you deny your children now. It's easy to be the parent when they do what you tell them and don't ask or question anything. But this is what happens when they grow. They need their own path and we are there to help them, not sabotage Stef.''

''What do you suggest?''

''To hear them out and see what doctor has to say. His opinion is what we need as guidance. I have never experienced something like they did. I have no idea what to do and that is why I need to hear what to do.''

Doctor listened ex-spouses argue and kept his distance until he felt the time is right for him to react.

''Mr. and Mrs. Foster, if I may… I notice that this argument points out that Mr. Foster is trying to figure out what happened and you are living in denial.''

''I am not!''

''You are… You want to avoid responsibility for what happened.''

''They are old enough to know what they did.''

''Yes, but the cause of that pain dates from before.''

''I am not sure what do you want to say.''

''I am saying that you don't want to be responsible for what happened. You wanted Callie to be your daughter and you ignored their feelings to get what you wanted.''

''So, it's my fault?''

''No, it's not…But you have part in that too.''

''What is my part? I gave them all.''

''No, you gave them things you believed they wanted.''

'' I will not listen to it.''

She got up and left the room.

''I think we might be done for today. Have the rest of the day for yourselves and we will continue tomorrow.''

Brandon and Callie went back to their room and the rest of the family went their way. Brandon just went to bed and Callie joined him soon. They cuddled up and just spent some time silent. He kissed her forhead and pulled her closer.

''I am so sorry…''

''What for?''

''All the things I wrote…''

''Brandon…''

''I was so hurt…''

''Brandon, hey…''

''I was so angry…''

''It's ok… It's fine… You were hurt… I hurt you and you had every right to do it.''

''I never stopped loving you.''

''I know babe...''

Callie got up to face him.

''Brandon Foster, I am here now and we will make sure to get better and have an amazing life together. One day, I will marry you, we will have our little Brady bunch, we will smile, love, cry…everything together. We will make this work, do you hear me?!''

He smiled.

''Loud and clear Madam.''

''Good. Because we start here and now… No more going back to what was. We go ahead and make sure we are ok. We get better and built our lives together. I love you. I am in love with you and I think I will be for a long time. You make me be the best version of myself and I want to be even better for you.''