Chapter 1: Bye bye Cullens hello misery

Jacob

I watched my beautiful angel, asleep in my arms and held her even tighter. She is too young to understand how close we really were, and I was afraid that she never would because this may be the last time I would ever be able to hold her. I always knew this day would come, when I would have to let my beautiful Nessie go. I just didn't expect it to come so quickly, happen so fast. I was lucky enough that Bella and Edward agreed to stay in Forks for three years they didn't want this any more than I did, but for the sake of Charlie we knew they had to go.

Nessie didn't see her grandfather as much as she did when she was four months old, or more like one. Bella and Edward lied to Charlie, saying Nessie had a growing disorder, but who were we kidding? Charlie knew something was up, he already knew too much as it was, and it was my fault. Being the idiot that I was, I told Charlie about me being a werewolf. I couldn't let my soul mate and best friend walk out of my life so I did it to keep them here. This time I knew there was nothing I could do about them leaving me. I remembered the conversation I had with Bella, the last one we'd have in a while.

3 hours earlier

"When will you be back?" I had asked her.

She shook her head and sighed, "I don't know, Jacob. I'm sorry, I don't want to keep you apart from Renesme, and trust me I know how it feels to be apart from the person you love the most." I knew she was talking about three years ago, when she was still human and Edward had left her to protect her. She was a complete wreck without him and she was more miserable and depressed than she had ever been in her life. She continued, "I'm so sorry I have to do this to you. But I have no other choice, Charlie came by yesterday and when he saw Renesme, he demanded that she go see a doctor immediately. When I tried to reason with him, he started yelling at Carli that it was his fault that he was a doctor and he wasn't doing anything about Renesme, and you know how sensitive Carli is. He completely lost his temper and they stood there yelling at each other for what seemed like forever..."

"Carli lost his temper?" Out of all the Cullen vampires, he was the most patient and calm one that I knew. He was very welcoming to strangers I remembered when he was very hospitable to me, Leah, and Seth when we ran away from Sam's pack three years ago. Even around our enemies, the Volturi, he was very calm and showed no signs of weakness, and he never lost his temper in the five years I had known him.

Bella nodded sadly and murmured, "Edward told me in the a hundred and fourteen years he'd known Carli this was the one time he completely flew off the handle. Charlie, now I've seen him angry before. But this... this was worse than I've ever seen him. Do remember when he almost put me under house arrest when he found out I was riding motorcycles with you?" She chuckled as she laughed quietly, "How I was somehow able to survive my human life is beyond me. I was probably the most reckless and stupid human girl that ever lived, wasn't I Jake?"

I chuckled as I remembered three years back, when Bella was still human and we were riding together, way before Nessie and back when things were normal... somewhat. Her chocolate brown eyes were wide, and her face was like a child's going on a rollercoaster for the first time. Nessie had Bella's human eyes, and every time I looked into them I was just reminded that although vampire's eyes were a lovely golden color, something as ordinary as simple brown human eyes could be more beautiful than any inhuman wonders. Then, I thought back to when Edward returned to Forks and I became such a jealous monster, I ran over to Charlie's and told him about the motorcycles how he screamed at Bella like he had never screamed in his life.

"I can't argue with that, Bells, for a human, you were a handful, protecting you was as hard as watching over La Push," I teased her.

"Oh shut up!" Bella rolled her eyes and gave my arm a playful whack. Then becoming serious again, "Jake, Charlie was ten times more furious than when he found out about that. It got so bad Renesme woke up and screamed at Charlie to leave Carli alone..."

"Why didn't you call me yesterday? I could've come over..."

"Jake, I didn't want you to be involved in that crap. After Charlie left, Carli was in tears, and I didn't think it was a good time, it took a long time to calm him down and we needed some family time. Sorry, I should've called earlier, but I just didn't know how to tell you we were leaving..." A tear rolled down Bella's check and she brushed it off swiftly, I could tell she was trying to hold it together and be strong. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her and she laid her head on my shoulder and sighed.

She closed her eyes as more tears streamed down her face, "Yesterday was probably the worst day of my vampire life. Charlie called Renesme a freak I lost it and screamed at him like I never had. I... I... yelled at him and told him, how dare he insult my daughter like that and he yelled that I adopted her and she wasn't even related to me. Jake, I was so... so stupid! I yelled at him that couldn't he see the resemblance and of course I didn't adopt her. He started crying and saying how reckless and stupid I was to do it at eighteen and I screamed at him to get out of the house and never come near my family. Oh Jake... it's the last time I'm ever going to see him. In my life, I will never be able to see him again... and those were my last words!" She was sobbing against my chest and getting my shirt wet, and I held her closer.

"Bella," I said softly trying to reason with her, although she was extremely unreasonable and the last time I tried to do that ended in her almost die giving birth to Nessie, "Those didn't have to be your last words to him. Stay for one more year, it's not like you'll have to see him every day. He's going to spending most of his time in La Push, anyways because his office is being moved there, since there is more crime there than in Forks. When you do have to see him, it'll be family dinner at Sue's and everyone will be there, I doubt he'd make a scene in front of everyone. You don't even have to bring Nessie with you all the time."

She pulled away from me and threw her hands up with exasperation, "Look at me! I am an eighteen year old in the body of a twenty three year old, I can't do this anymore! Charlie knows something is up, he already knows more than he should, you know that. Again, I'm sorry for not telling you this earlier but he actually has been starting to think Edward and I have the same growing disorder as Renesme. He's been trying to call different doctors for us to go see, since we refuse to..."

"What? Why didn't you tell me this?" I asked, shocked. No wonder they were in such a rush to leave, but I really would've appreciated it if I had some kind of warning.

"Again, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you earlier, I know, I know I should've..."

"How long has this been going on?" I asked her, I hated it when I was the last to find out about things, especially something like this that I should've been told about as soon as it started happening.

"A month," Bella sighed.

"A month? You waited a month to tell me this!" This was so pushing it! It had been going on for a month and no one bothered to say anything to me?

She looked down shamefully and protested, "I wanted to tell you about it, as soon as it started, Jake. Well... Edward and I tried contacting Leah, but she told us that you were busy patrolling the area with Sam's pack. That you and him were working together down in La Push, and that you couldn't be bothered..."

"What? Busy, me? Oh yeah... right. I've been so busy watching TV with a bag of chips on my dad's couch, so occupied." I rolled my eyes sarcastically. "You're joking? Leah told you I was busy patrolling La Push with Sam and his pack?"

Bella nodded, clearly as confused as I was. "Bells, I haven't been doing anything at all. The only crime in La Push is those drunken idiots wandering around the streets constantly getting into accidents, but your dad and the police are taking care of that crap. The wolves protect the forest, but there's nothing to protect. Ever since the Volturi left, we've been really bored. Seriously, these past three years have been no action or excitement. In fact, if you could go a little wild on your next hunt and give us something to do, I'd be so grateful." I sarcastically grinned at her, but then turned serious again. "Are you sure Leah told you I was busy? She knows as well as I do I'm not... why would she lie to you?"

"I don't know. She just told us that... she doesn't still hate my family does she? I thought we moved past that, didn't we agree to put aside our differences?"

I shrugged, Bella was right. When we helped the Cullen family fight the Volturi, Leah actually started to become friends with the vampires. When Alice couldn't get Bella to go shopping with her, she went with Leah who also loved shopping. Those two were like shopping buddies, and I've seen her with Rosalie and Alice in their room giving each other make overs. Seriously, the Cullen girls brought out an extremely girly side of her I didn't even know she had. She'd often join Edward, Jasper, and Emmett on their hunts, and challenge them to races. Watching them getting beaten by a girl every time was really entertaining. Especially, when Emmett would make a big scene and say he "wasn't ready", challenge her to a rematch and lose again and it would continue until he wore himself out. Leah was especially fond of Carli and Esme. Although, at first she didn't want to except Esme's hospitality because she was a vampire and such, eventually she began to and quickly grew fond of her as well as Carli. I could see why, they were very welcoming and kind and they treated her like their own daughter. The only Cullen she didn't like was Bella, although I couldn't see why she'd have anything against her. When Bella was still human, Leah confronted her and yelled at her for hurting me to make her guilty, since we had become very close and she was protective over me. But that didn't matter anymore, I knew Bella never wanted to hurt me and she was with Edward and thanks to her I was with my Nessie, where I belonged. I forgave her long ago, and Leah knew that, so why she'd still dislike Bella was beyond me. She also grew a strong distaste towards Nessie, I couldn't understand why either. Everyone had grown to love Nessie, she was a beautiful angel, but Leah was the only one that seemed to strongly hate her. She only came by when Bella and Nessie were at their cottage, and whenever Alice or Rosalie were playing with her and using a cute voice with her, Leah stood as far away from her as possible and frowned at her. I always kept my Nessie as far away from her as possible when Leah didn't like someone, and she lost her temper... it was never pretty. If I was there and those two were in the same room, I always took Renesme to another room.

I also noticed Leah was always very careful to not change into a wolf in front of me that was just odd considering that we'd hunted together in wolf form many times before and suddenly she didn't want to. She'd only do it when she was sure I wasn't in wolf form, too. The only reason that I could think of was she didn't want me to see into her mind the one crappy thing about wolf form was that everyone else who was in that form could see into your mind. Every private, embarrassing thought you had was shared with the whole group. It's like you didn't have a mind of your own, like you shared your brain with everyone. It was frustrating if you just wanted to keep something to yourself, but everyone had to know. Usually, since the wolves had always been so close, there wasn't really any need to hide anything, even if it was really embarrassing you knew the group would still have to know eventually. The only rational reason for Leah not wanting to hunt with me was that she was hiding something from me that she didn't want me to see. Did it have something to do with her strong loathing for Bella and Nessie?

"I'm sorry, I don't know what's up with Leah, but I did have to let her take Seth's position as my second in command since Seth is with Sue on vacation."

"I didn't want to upset Leah by asking, but do you know why she didn't come with them?"

I shrugged another weird thing about Leah recently was that she never really talked much about Sue anymore. I used to always hear from her something like, "Mom cooks the best food ever" or "Oh my god, I went shopping with her today and we bought the cutest outfits." I never hear a word about Sue slip out of her lips and when I dare to ask her about it all I get was a curt reply such as "she's fine" or "whatever, it's not like I see her that often." She started acting this way towards Sue when she and my dad started dating last year. Honestly, I could tell that they had a thing for each other way before they started dating. Usually when I'd come over to my dad's place he'd call me saying that he was over at Sue's and that I could come hang out there if I wanted to. Or when I'd come over she'd be at our place hanging out with my dad. When they told me, Seth, and Leah they were dating Seth and I were really happy for them. Sue was already like a mom to me, mine died really young and Sue was always like the one I never had. She usually cooked for me and my dad because we couldn't cook to save our own lives, and she was really good with advice. I remember coming to her years ago when Bella was still human, back when I still had feelings for her and she was stuck between me and Edward and Sue was able to help me through it. When I heard she was with my dad I was jubilant, I was also happy for my dad. I knew that now he had someone looking after him, when my mom died, he was heartbroken but stayed strong for me, although I could still see deep down he was broken up. Now, when he is with Sue it's like a whole new side to him, a lighter and happier person and I'd have given the world to for him to always be like that, now he was thanks to her. I also saw a change in Sue, she was a very strong person, don't get me wrong, but she was torn apart when Harry died. She never seemed to be quite the same, she seemed more depressed and according to Seth and Leah the first year of his death she'd sit at home for months at a time and not get out of bed and not speak to anyone but them. She now seemed as happy as she made my dad, and they seemed to ease away any of the pain that they might've had before. It was a win/win situation for everyone, except for some reason Leah. When she found out they were dating she and Sue's relationship changed completely. She hardly ever went to La Push to visit her, and when Sue would have family dinner at her house and invite all the humans, vampires, and werewolves to her house, Seth and I would have to get down on our knees and beg Leah come. Even then, they'd sit at opposite ends of the table and they hardly said a word to each other than "hello" "bye." I never heard "I love you" or "I wish I could see you more often" come out of either of their mouths. Every time I tried to ask her if she was ok, she'd just shrug it off like she was fine, but I knew her well enough to know something wasn't fine. I really was concerned about her, we'd become very close friends over the past years, apart from Bella and Seth she was one of my best friends.

I felt as if giving Bella the full story on Leah's relationship with Sue would be like a betrayal, it seemed like something Leah wanted to keep to herself for now so I replied being as unspecific as I could. "I think Leah and Sue might've had a falling out."

Bella nodded sympathetically and said, "Yeah, I've noticed whenever she and Sue are in the same room they seem... distant. But I understand what she's going through." When I raised a questioning eyebrow at her she explained, "Have you noticed that their relationship started falling apart after she started dating Billy? The same thing happened with me and my mom the first few months she started dating Phil. I just always thought that Charlie was right for her and that they belonged together, and Phil couldn't take his place and it had always been just me and my mom and having Phil around all the time felt like he was taking her away from me. Eventually, I grew used to the fact that my mom had a boyfriend, and so will Leah. She'll come around and realize sooner or later that she wants Sue to be happy with Billy. Besides she's known Billy all her life, so it's not like she isn't already used to him."

"But it's been a year! I'm worried about her, Bella. Sure the first few months should be hard, but a year? That can't be good."

"She probably just takes longer to adjust then I do, I mean everyone's different. But I know she'll come around for Sue, they are way too close to break apart like that, I know she will Jake," she said it confidently but I still had doubt that Sue and my dad wasn't the real reason why Leah was acting the way she was. Something told me it was something else, but I just couldn't put my finger on what. Still, I could just be overthinking it I did have a tendency to do that.

Bella looked down sadly and murmured, directing more to her than to me, "It's not like they don't have a way of making up, not like me and Charlie." I sympathetically put my hand on her shoulder and, partly trying to make her feel better, and partly because I was trying to convince her to stay in Forks told her, "Bells, that's not true. You don't have to kick Charlie out of your life completely. I know as well as you do you don't want to do that, all I ask if stay for just another year. It wouldn't kill you, besides do you want Renesme to grow up without her grandfather? If you'll stay for just a little longer, I could talk to him and convince to get off your case about seeing doctors..."

I stopped when venom started welling up in Bella's eyes and tears slowly started falling down her cheeks, and then quickly wiped it off, trying to be brave for me probably, although it should be the other way around. She was the one leaving behind her home and dad, and never seeing him again, and coming back to Forks in probably a hundred or so years later when Charlie, Billy, Sue, Emily and all her human companions were dead. If anything, I was the one who was supposed to be trying to be brave for her, not the other way around.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I know leaving is hard enough for you, I'm not trying to make saying goodbye harder than it should be..." I wrapped my arms around her and smoothed her gently as I tried to provide what little comfort and apology I could give to her, of course it couldn't... and wouldn't... be enough to help her through any of the pain she was going through. As her best friend, I wouldn't even be there for her, and the one thing worse than being stuck in an emotionally painful situation, was being in an emotionally painful situation alone. I also remembered my Nessie it would be unbearable without her. I couldn't be apart from her for so long. It was unthinkable. I'd rather go to the Volturi and do something to make them kill me. "I'll come with you, please, let me. I can't be apart from Nessie..."

This just made Bella start crying louder and groan, "Jake you can't! You know what will happen, you said so yourself that you can't do that to Seth and Leah." "Bella, I'm so sorry..." I tried protesting but she held up her hand to stop me and said, "No, you're doing the right thing. Those two look up to you, you're there leader Jacob and you need to be there for them. You can't do that to them, they are like your siblings." This was so Bella, always thinking of everyone else's needs before her own, I was going to miss that quality so much. She was willing to let me go, for a girl who didn't even like her. I didn't know anyone who would make the sacrifices she did and I don't think I ever will. The girl who would leave her own father, walk out of his life and never see him again just so she could protect him and make sure he'd have a safe life. She was the kind of girl who'd almost die slowly and painfully for someone who wasn't even born yet, my dear Nessie.

It wouldn't be forever, you'll find your Nessie again someday and you'll be reunited I had repeatedly told myself over and over until the words were nothing more than sounds. Yet, how long would we be apart? Bella said until Charlie was gone... he was healthy and in his thirties so assuming he'd live to be in his eighties... 50 years? I wasn't even sure if I could handle the first year without Nessie, but fifty years? Distance and time wasn't the worst part of the whole thing though, it was something so horrible I didn't even want to consider it, but in my deepest, darkest thoughts it would appear and reappear to torment my mind.

Nessie returning to Forks fifty years later, god knows what she'd be like. One thing was for certain, she wouldn't be the same little girl with bouncy curls up to her waist and that intelligent look in her brown eyes that I'd grown to know and love. Instead, she'd be replaced with a fully grown human/vampire hybrid and in fifty years would she even remember me? I knew that imprinting was true love, and that you were meant to be and blah, blah, blah but if it was fifty years later so much could change. What if it was possible that the strong bond that held us together broke apart from that long time of separation? By the time Nessie would return to Forks, for all I'd know maybe she'd already move on... be with another boy. Thinking about it just crushed me and tore my heart into two, I couldn't lose her, one thing for sure was I'd never loved and been devoted to anyone more than her.

The fact that this happening was such a big possibility I was so tempted to just go with them, and say screw this to the pack and everything in La Push but I knew of course that I'd be a traitor to Seth and Leah if I did. Bella was right about one thing, I knew exactly what happened when a pack Alpha left his pack for too long. Sam sat me down and explained the rule to me when I first became the Alpha for my small pack of just me, Seth, and Leah. The rule was simple at the time because I never thought I'd be leaving La Push, I didn't consider for a second that happening to our pack, I promised myself it wouldn't.

If an Alpha leaves his pack for too long, then the members of the pack must abandon the pack and join another pack, it goes back to ancient times, when our species were more common so there were about a hundred different packs you could join. Now, as you know, thanks to the bloodsuckers, there are fewer packs and other than the two we have in La Push the nearest pack is a hundred miles away. Jacob, you have great responsibility now that you are Alpha, do you understand? You're loyalty towards your pack is important, if you break the tie, and once you do, you will never gain it back and you will be a lone wolf. Sam emphasized to me very clearly about the loyalty part and that I had duty to my pack. I thought I understood what that meant, I know now that I was barely scratching the surface of the kind of loyalty I'd need to have towards Leah and Seth. Sam meant it when he said the nearest pack away from La Push was hundreds of miles away, if I were to leave, the only alternative pack Leah and Seth would have would be to rejoin Sam's pack.

For both Seth and Leah's sake I couldn't let that happen. Leah and Sam in the same pack was a recipe for disaster, the last time those two were in the same pack, Leah did everything she could to make Sam's life miserable. Years and years had passed since Sam imprinted on Leah's cousin Emily, and she still hated him for breaking her heart. I used to think she was a menace for holding such an ancient grudge against Sam for something he couldn't even control. When she joined Sam's pack, she did nothing but make him feel guilty, and of course since we had linked minds not only did he suffer, but so did the rest of us. I disliked her as much as everyone in the pack, even Seth thought she was a pain in the neck. I only began to understand her when she joined my pack because she saw it as an opportunity to get away from Sam. I then realized that my situation wasn't any different than hers, Bella was like Sam was to her. I had Bella all to myself when Edward left and I lost her as soon as he returned, and being friends with her while she was Edward's was stabbing a knife into my heart. Hurting me, it was painful each time I was around her, and like Leah, being around the person that broke your heart was inevitable. Of course, I wasn't holding an ancient grudge on Bella, like Leah still was holding on Sam. Well, to be fair, I had an imprint and she didn't. I always felt empathy towards her, especially since now I understood the pain she had, I really wished that there would be someone that would take away that pain and replace it with joy like Nessie had done for me. For now, Leah's only solution was to get away from Sam and I helped her do it by forming my own pack. I understood what she meant when she said she didn't want to be the lame ex of the Alpha it was like me being the sore thumb of Bella's family before Nessie was born. We both understood what it was like to love somebody and not be loved back by the one person you'd sacrifice everything you ever had for. I knew it so much harder for Leah than it ever had been for me, it was one thing for your sworn enemy to be with the person you loved, it was another thing for your cousin to take that special someone away from you. No matter how much I will try, I know I'll never understand how Leah must have felt when Sam imprinted on Emily and not her. Before Sam imprinted on Emily, Leah and her were like sisters, as thick as thieves, and when Sam imprinted everything between them changed. For years they've had a radio silence between them, whenever Emily was invited to a family gathering, if you offered Leah a thousand dollars just to show up she still wouldn't go. Leah absolutely despised her cousin, just like Sam, Emily felt really guilty about coming in between them, and the first year she'd call Leah every single day and do whatever she could to apologize for what she did, but all she got was dead silence, in fact the more she called the more angry Leah got. Eventually, she gave up and realized Leah needed space and pushing her to talk to her would only make it worse. Now whenever they saw each other, they'd walk past as if the other one was invisible. I felt really horrible for both of them, and I hated seeing them throw away decades of their friendship just because of some guy. Well, I know Sam isn't just any guy and I love him to pieces, but I don't care who it is, I don't believe that a relationship as strong as theirs was should be thrown down the drain just because of something like imprinting. Now, I've seen girls be dramatic before, it's not as if I'm not used to petty girl drama. I've grown up with two sisters so I of all boys know exactly what girl drama is like, I remembered when they were my age and there was this guy they were fighting over, I think his name was Fred or Freddy... I don't remember. Anyways, this Fred guy started to date the older sister and the younger one was so mad she didn't talk to the older sister for weeks. They had never gotten into a more intense fight of course it was petty to just break apart because of Freddy, but eventually they were both mature enough to make up and the younger sister found a new crush a month later and it turns out, lucky her, that he liked her back and she had herself a boyfriend. You'd think Leah and Emily were mature enough to fight for a few weeks and then make up and hug it out like my sisters were but no... no... no... no... no... no... It hasn't been a year, which in my opinion is already way too much, not two not, three, oh hell no. Ten years! Girl drama to an all new level! I didn't know anyone could hold a grudge for so long, but Leah certainly knows how to. Although, I disagree she should take her anger out on Emily, I still understand the pain she is going through that Sam put her through. Leah is like another sister to me, and no matter how much I'd want to run away with Nessie, I know what a jerk I'd be if I'd make her go back to Sam's pack. I knew I couldn't let that happen, it was way too much tension for Sam and Leah to be in the same pack.

Seth too, I knew couldn't go back to Sam's pack. Even though he got along with Sam and the rest of the guys, it was clear that he was one of the lowest on the hierarchy. He was an "Omega" as Bella would've called it. He was one of the youngest, and even though I didn't think this was fair since he was one of the best fighters I knew and helped kill one of the strongest vampires in the world that was the creator of a terrible newborn vampire army, he was still the most valueless member in Sam's pack. I certainly didn't think judging Seth's role because of age and because he was one the recently transformed wolves was fair at all, but that was the way Sam's pack ran. He was just as good as a fighter as I was, maybe even better, yet in Sam's pack I was so much higher in rank than he was. In my pack, though he was my second-in-command or "Beta" as Bella called him. His position was really high up and respected, there was no way he'd want to go back to being the same "Omega" he was before, and I didn't want him to go back to being that either.

I knew not only Seth and Leah's personal reasons for not ever wanting to go back to Sam's pack, but also the general reasons. Sam used a power the Alpha had that I would never use, and it was the reason that I left his pack in the first place. The power to control the pack members wills, I remembered when he tried to force me to go attack the Cullen family, and kill Bella and Nessie (before she'd have a chance to be born). Sam was monstrous, trying to force me against my will to kill the people, well at the time person, that I loved. To this day, I still don't entirely forgive him for what he did to me. Being forced to do something against my will felt like being a puppet and having someone pulling on your strings telling you what direction to go and if you even tried to fight back, the string would just wound around you tighter than before. In addition to that, like I mentioned earlier, having everyone inside your mind at once was like having no private thoughts at all and was a pain in the neck. Two people wasn't so bad, but Sam's pack was growing and increasing so much that there were fifteen or more inside your head at once and it made my head spin so fast just thinking about it, having so many people in my head at once and knowing all my secrets and me being able to hear fifteen different thoughts at once. I couldn't let Leah and Seth endure any of that ever again, even if it meant I had to make a big sacrifice. Sam was right about one thing: I had a loyalty to my pack, and if I were to be a good Alpha than I needed to put their needs before mine.

As Bella leaned into me and tears rolled down her checks, I suddenly had an idea. Maybe I wouldn't lose my Nessie I could have my pack and be with the girl I loved. "Bells, I've got it!" I practically shouted, so excited by my idea. She pulled away from me to look me in the eyes, clearly confused. "What?" She chocked, her throat dry from all the venom welling up in her eyes. I gently brushed off a tear from her cheek and grinned at her, probably looking like a manic but right now I couldn't care less. "I'm not entirely sure about this," I admitted to her, "I need to go talk to Sam about it first... wait when do you leave?" Stupid question since more venom just rolled down her cheeks at the thought of that question, "As soon as possible, tomorrow or the day after." Her voice sounded hoarser than before, my heart was even more shattered by Bella's wretchedness than it was already shattered. But I knew somehow I would fix this, I knew that I could, and that I wouldn't let this be goodbye. "I'll go down to La Push and talk to Sam right now then..." I paused as I saw Bella's eyes turning black and she licking her lips looking distracted. Either she was thirsty, or it was most likely the fact that her vampire gift was causing it. Her first year as a newborn, we learned more about her abilities, she wasn't just a shield, which was rare and powerful enough by itself. She had a second ability, which, according to Carli was a one in a million chance for a vampire to have two. Having one was pretty common, but two. She was the first vampire in a century to actually have more than one gift, I knew with her the almost impossible legends happening to her weren't too rare, after all, Nessie and her and Edward being able to be together when she was human. Still, two powers had to take the cake for unusual and rare events. Both her powers were rare, she was not only a shield but a hunter.

Carli first realized she must have a second power when they were out hunting and he pointed out that when she was first a newborn she was somehow able to control her thirst, and not once had she accidentally killed a human, which was amazing for a newborn, almost no newborns could accomplish that. Also, she was able to sense an animal coming from a really long distance away, all vampires of course had super strong senses but hers was a hundred times sharper than any normal vampire. She could sense an animal way before any Cullen could, Carli had told me. I came over and we did a few experiments, basically Bella would go hunting with one of us and see how long it would take her to sense the presence of an animal and how long it would take for the other person to sense it. The results, according to Carli's careful observation were that Bella did have the ability to have stronger senses. At first, we all just thought it was a newborn thing, and it would wear off over time, but as months passed we realized that there was something unusual about it. When we were walking through the forest not hunting, Bella's ability didn't come out. She'd sense things the same exact way any of us would, then Carli did some research on shields, guessing maybe it was a part of that and he realized that her control of her thirst and ability to have better senses when hunting wasn't powers a shield would have. That's when we noticed something even more unusual about Bella's abilities. Whenever she was really emotional, I mean really emotional not just mildly upset or excited. It happened the first time when Bella invited me and my pack over and we all sat around having a family dinner, it was our first ever family dinner, after the Volturi left. It was so overwhelmingly emotional for everyone, after everything we had fought for and what we'd been through for everyone to be sitting around at the table like this, a happy family. For the first time everyone was happy, Bella and Edward were sitting together, I was next to Bella and for the first time Edward and I were friends. Nessie was in my lap across from us were Alice and Jasper, then Rosalie and Emmett. Even Leah seemed to be enjoying herself, she and Seth were showering Esme and Carli with compliments about how amazing the food tasted. Surprisingly, for vampires who thought human food tasted like puke, they were excellent cooks. I was really flattered as I'm sure Seth and Leah were, by the fact that the Cullen family put in a group effort to make us wolves a separate meal, it was some Italian salad that was just delicious. The rest of the vampires were drinking animal blood, (since they were vegans) that they had saved while they were out hunting in cans so me and my pack wouldn't be disgusted by seeing the blood. After dinner, we were on the couch watching some cheesy chick-flick romance movie, and the couples were sitting together, my lovely Nessie in my lap. Bella was so overwhelmed with joy that everyone was getting along and eating together, and suddenly her beautiful golden eyes turned into a pitch black. We were shocked, considering the fact that she had just drank blood like thirty minutes ago and her thirst shouldn't have come back so fast. After the dinner, Carli did some more research and we tried a few more experiments with Bella. Jasper used his gift to make Bella feel overwhelming emotions, and each time her eyes turned a pitch black and we had to go and take her hunting. Carli finally concluded his research was correct, and that Bella had a second ability. We were in enough shock to discover that and in even more when we realized how rare and special it was. Having stronger senses when out hunting, being able to control her thirst, and becoming thirsty when extremely emotional were all under one category: hunter.

"Bells, you go hunting, ok? I'll be down in La Push if you need me, don't worry, everything will be fine." I wrapped Bella in a tight hug and I knew that by saying everything will be fine I was being far from honest, but I knew I had to stay strong for her.

"When do you think you'll be back?"

"I'm not sure, why?"

"It's just..." Bella sniffed and tried to speak in a steady voice, "We'll be leaving soon, and I thought maybe you and Renesme would want some time alone."

"Yes, I'd like that, thanks Bells." She didn't seem to be paying attention, her fists tightened and she licked her lips again trying to stifle a growl unsuccessfully. She looked like she couldn't control her thirst for much longer, she looked ready to break. Unfortunately, one of the side effects of being a hunter, Carli said was that if the thirst was caused by the gift, it would be harder to contain than regular thirst. "I should go," she growled and with that she ran into the forest as fast as lightning bolt, it was hard for my eyes to process. No matter how much time I spend around vampires, I don't think I'll ever get used to the way they move. Speaking of movement, I debated how I'd get down to La Push. I knew wolf form would be a lot faster than taking the Volvo but I figured it would be best to travel by car. I didn't know if Leah was in her wolf form and I didn't think linking minds with her was a good idea right now, she'd probably get startled and change back into human form, not wanting me to see whatever she was hiding. Or I'd get angry with her for lying to Bella, or she'd be angry with me for going to see Sam. Either way it wouldn't end very well, so I pulled out my iPhone 7S from my back pocket of my jeans and texted Bella:

Hey, do you mind if I borrow the Volvo to drive to La Push?

Even before she texted back, I knew what she was going to say, but still it was polite to ask. I think I loved the Volvo way more than she did, I really wish Edward bought me that for my birthday. When Bella turned nineteen (well technically she still counted as eighteen in vampire years because it was the day her transformation was completed) Edward bought her the Volvo, but she rarely used it. She wasn't like me, who was an engineer and loved mechanics and vehicles. I was pretty jealous when she got the car, but since she preferred to travel by foot since she was a vampire, I used it way more than she did. Every time I'd ask to borrow it, she never once didn't let me take it out for a spin, I'd be gone for hours and she wouldn't mind. Like I predicted, a minute after I sent the text I got a reply:

Go ahead

I waited a few moments expecting to get another text saying

How come you're not going in wolf form?

But I never got one. Usually, the way Bella texted wasn't the way most normal teenagers did, in short responses. She'd want to know about why I'd want to take a thirty minute drive when I could get there in ten minutes in my wolf form. She knew me well enough to know that I liked taking the faster way like any typical werewolf would. Another side effect of being a hunter, according to Carli, was that when the thirst was caused because of the gift you're thirst was stronger and burned more than a regular thirst. I could imagine that she was probably trying to find an antelope or bear right now to soothe the fiery, hot flames licking her throat, so she texted in a more hasty manor than usual. I was thankful that she didn't, since I really didn't want to launch into a full-on explanation about me and Leah.

Tucking my iPhone 7 into my pocket, I realized that it was a good thing I wasn't going in wolf form, I did not want this outfit ruined. I was wearing this shirt Edward got my for my birthday last year from this band we both really liked, plus I was running out of jeans. The one really sucky thing about being in wolf form is that when you transform, you shred whatever you're wearing a completely ruin it, and since I transform very frequently, you can image that I don't have a big wardrobe. Eventually, I learned to just buy a bunch of blank white shirts that I wouldn't mind losing, or first get undressed than change. Except, the only problem with that was changing in the forest was just... weird. I constantly have to look over my shoulders in case a person passes by and might see me naked in the forest. On top of that concern, I then need to hide my clothes in a safe place and pray some random homeless person wandering through the forest wouldn't go and steal them. So far, when I've done that I've been lucky enough to have none of those things happen to me... yet. That doesn't mean I'm still not extremely on my guard whenever I change in the forest, and I just feel really weird about changing in the forest... savage and like a wild animal. Although, technically I was half wolf so I was, but that still didn't make it any less weird, because I was also half human.

As I fumbled with my keys, I was realizing that maybe I should change my name from Jacob Black to Jacob Cullen. I didn't live under my dad's roof anymore so I didn't see him that often anymore, my sisters were finishing college, Rebecca was going to finish her education here because Paul imprinted on her. Even though Rebecca was actually in Forks, I didn't get a lot of quality brother/sister time with her anyways because she was either in school or hanging out with Paul. I was with the Cullen family every single day, the wolves and I ate meals with them every day, and after Nessie's first birthday (well technically third, because she already looked like she was three) the Cullens decided that since it was probably such a drag going from Forks to La Push constantly, that we could stay with them. So last year, they hired construction guys to expand their home to make three extra rooms just for us. They were an extremely rich family, but still I could imagine that that wasn't cheap even for them. Seth, Leah, and I were extremely flattered that they'd do it for us, and when we thanked them they said, "Don't mention it you're a part of our family." Even though I'd occasionally come back to sleep under my dad's roof just for old time sake, and Seth did the same with Sue, every night we'd sleep in the Cullen house. We pretty much moved all our stuff from our old house to our rooms, so it was more of my dad's house being a second home, and not the other way around, as weird as it may seem. I really liked this arrangement since I could be around Nessie all the time, although Bella, Edward, and I did have a debate about which room she should sleep in, until finally Carli hired more construction and Nessie had a room of her own. Bella moved into Edward's room, she didn't want Carli and Esme to spend too much money on her, even though she was like their they've already done so much for me as it is, giving me a wonderful family and a good life, anything else they'd do for me would just put us even more out of balance, typical Bella. Seth, Leah, and I even had our cars in their garage, so Edward finally just made all of us copies of the key because we'd constantly ask him or a Cullen for keys so eventually he just said this is as much of your garage as it is ours, I'll make you guys your owns keys so you can have as much access to the garage as we do.

As I opened the garage with the keys Edward made me and revved the engine of the Volvo, I saw a Ditty Bops CD on the passenger's seat. I chuckled, I couldn't believe Bella still listened to that band, they were so old. I thought of Bella, when she didn't think I was listening, I would hear her from her room singing along to a Ditty Bops song, and even though I didn't particularly like the band, her voice sounded like the voice of an angel. I thought of my best friend as I took the CD and played one of her favorite songs from the CD called, "Bye, bye, love." The music started playing as I drove down to La Push bye, bye love. Bye, bye, happiness, hello emptiness. I think I'm going to cry. Good bye my love goodbye. A tear rolled down my check as I thought of Bella, Nessie, and the Cullens. If they left Forks, I didn't know what I'd do. I began to wonder if Jacob Cullen would go back to being Jacob Black, with not much as a family or a life.

Bye, bye, Cullens. Hello misery. I think I'm going to cry. Goodbye my Cullens goodbye.