Needing Normal

Disclaimer: I don't own PJO or HOO. Rick Riordan does.

It was just after sunrise on the second day after the war with Gaea had ended. Jason was on the roof of Cabin One watching the world wake up and thinking back to all that happened over the past several months of his life: losing his memory, coming to Camp Half-Blood, making new friends, getting a girlfriend, saving the queen of Olympus, fighting a war, losing his best friend. His breath caught with that last one, and he had to swallow a large lump that had suddenly formed in his throat. He gazed at the path that led to Bunker 9 remembering all the times he had walked down that path with Leo. He felt his eyes burn with tears and forcefully shook his head, determined not cry again, at least not this early in the morning.

He climbed over the peak of the roof and settled on the other side, looking out at the rest of camp. His gaze settled on Cabin 3 almost instantly. To him, it looked perfectly normal: still, calm, uninhabited. Percy had left for Manhattan and home the evening before. He had promised to be back in a couple of days, but it was perfectly clear he needed to get home. His agitation at being so close and still so far had been coming off of him in waves, so no one had objected when he had climbed onto Guido's back and took off just before dinner had been served.

The past six days had been nonstop for the crew of the Argo II. Island hopping in Greece, battles, killing giants and hordes of monsters, meeting the gods, being served volleyball-style back across the Atlantic, stopping one war, fighting the final battle of another, funerals, and now a new day had dawned. With everything else going on, Jason hadn't thought too much about the last time he and Percy had sat and had a heart-to-heart beneath the ocean several days ago. At the time, he had been so happy that Percy was apparently going to survive being poisoned and so wrapped up in his thoughts about his new position as pontifex, that he didn't give as much consideration to what Percy had told him as he probably should, but several days and dead friends later, he thought that maybe he should revisit that conversation. At this point, the last thing he would want to hear is that the war had claimed yet another life, the life of arguably the most powerful demi-god on the planet no less and close personal friend of Jason.

Talking about dying of Polybote's poison, Percy had confessed that he felt like he deserved it and didn't try to move the poison away from him. To be honest, in the early morning and calm after the storm, that worried Jason – a lot. If Percy was at a point of thinking he deserved death and wouldn't even try to fight it when it came at him, then it was only a short step to trying to bring death onto himself on his own. Jason didn't really think that Percy was suicidal, but what if another prophecy came along? What if something happened in the mortal world? That fatal flaw that Kymopoleia had mentioned was still lingering. As much as Percy cared and mourned for Leo, Jason didn't think that Leo's death had been the sacrifice that Percy couldn't make. In all honesty, the two guys had only spent about three weeks together, and there had seemed to be some small element of distrust and maybe even anger between the two for a good portion of that time. Jason didn't know why that was, exactly, maybe something to do with Leo blowing up New Rome, maybe to do with Leo's visit with Calypso while Percy and Annabeth were in Tartarus, maybe both. At any rate, Leo wasn't Percy's big sacrifice. Jason was sure of that, which meant it was still to happen. And that could be the straw that breaks the camel's back, thought Jason.

More of the campers had woke up and were moving about the grounds, going to showers, heading to the laundry room, meeting up with friends to hang out or play a round of basketball or something. The Roman legion was bustling about, too, though with much more purpose and organization than the Greeks. Jason heard a cabin door opening and turned back to look at the neighboring cabins. Annabeth was just coming out of the Athena cabin. Percy had told her she could come with him to Manhattan, but she had insisted that he and his parents needed this time to themselves, that she would see them soon enough. When he had persisted, she had argued that one of the two of them needed to be at camp for the time being, and since he needed to be home for a bit, it stood to reason that she stay at camp. He had finally relented and headed into the city.

Jason watched as Annabeth made her way to the hearth in the center of the ring of cabins where she bowed and spoke with the little girl there, whom Jason had recently learned was the goddess Hestia. As he watched them converse, he suddenly was struck with the thought that Annabeth needed to know his concerns about Percy. He had a feeling that Percy had not relayed the conversation he had had with Jason to Annabeth when they had gotten back to the ship. But she needed to know, Jason was sure of it. And not just her, Chiron, too. Between the three of them, maybe they could get Percy to open up about what was going through his head, make sure he wasn't edging too closely to that cliff called suicide.

Jason immediately jumped from his roof, using the winds to carry him gently to the ground, and he jogged over to where Annabeth had just wrapped up her conversation with the goddess of the home and hearth. "Annabeth!"

She stopped and waited for him to catch up with her. "Yeah?"

"Hey, I need to talk to you – and Chiron, today, if possible."

She furrowed her brow and those gray eyes seemed to be trying x-ray his thoughts. "Sure, but what's this about?"

Jason glanced at the ground before looking back up at her. "It's about Percy…I'm a little worried about him."

Annabeth looked a little stunned, but there may have been a hint of understanding in her eyes. She hesitated for a moment, casting a glance at Cabin Three. "Worried about Percy? About what?"

It was Jason's turn to hesitate. "Just something he said the other day. Look, how about we meet in Chiron's office after breakfast? I'll ask him when he gets to the pavilion."

Jason thought she was going to argue for a moment, but she agreed. "Okay. Breakfast first. I'll see you later, then." She turned and walked toward the bathrooms, a canvas bag of toiletries slung over her shoulder.

Breakfast was a quiet affair. There were still too many empty spaces at the tables in the pavilion for people to quite ready to converse and goof off as normal. Jason ate his waffles and bacon alone at the Zeus table. He had already arranged with Chiron to meet him and Annabeth in the centaur's office later. Annabeth kept catching his eye and looking away quickly. She was worried and scared. He hadn't meant to scare her, but to be honest, he was scared himself.

He glanced over at Piper. Her eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, and she was only moving food around her plate rather than actually eating it. He wanted to just wrap her up in his arms and let her cry or whatever she needed to do for the rest of the day, but he had to have this conversation first. She looked up at him, almost as if she could feel him watching her. She gave him a small smile and tilted her head back towards the cabins, her way of asking if they could get out of there and go for a walk. He nodded and took his plate back to the harpies before heading out of the pavilion. She was right behind him.

As he walked past the Athena table, Annabeth had half stood, and he had motioned that she stay for a few more minutes. She noticed Piper then and nodded before sitting back down.

"What was that about?" Piper asked as soon as they were out of earshot of the pavilion.

"I've got a meeting with her and Chiron in a few minutes, but you look like you could use a hug first."

She leaned into his side, and he wrapped his arm around her waist. "A hug would be nice," she whispered.

They had made it to the Big House. He stopped and pulled her into a bear hug right beside the front porch. She settled into his chest, gripping his shirt in her fists. He could feel her trembling with suppressed sobs and emotions. "I miss his stupid face so much," she whispered, her voice hoarse and shaky.

I held her tighter. "I know. I do, too."

They just stood there, clinging to one another under the eave of the house for what could have been thirty seconds or thirty minutes. Jason didn't know, and frankly, he didn't care. Piper was hurting. He was hurting. And really, hurting together seemed to ease the pain more than anything else. At any rate, though, he had a meeting, and too soon, he felt Chiron touch his shoulder as he made his way up the porch ramp. "We'll be inside, Jason." Jason nodded, and he heard Chiron and Annabeth make their way into the house.

Piper pulled back from him, wiping her eyes. "I should let you get to your meeting. I need to talk to Hazel anyway. Find me later?"

Jason smiled at her. "Of course."

"Good," she said and gave him a quick kiss before taking back off toward the Roman camp.

Jason took a deep breath and headed inside for another emotionally draining conversation. He hated war. He hated watching people die, people he knew, cared about, hung out with, talked to, trained. He hated the toll it took on the survivors, physically, emotionally, mentally. He hated how many things it made him question about himself, the world at large, the people around him. He hated everything about war, but this, the possibility of one of his best friends having seen too much of it to cope with life anymore, that was the worst part of it. He had watched Dakota's kool-aid addiction skyrocket in those months after the Titan war had ended, and from what Hazel had said, it had only gotten worse after Jason's disappearance. Even Octavian had become more unbearable after the Titans had been defeated, and that was something that Jason hadn't been sure was even possible before the fact. And now, Percy.

Jason was standing in front of Chiron's office door. It was closed. He took a deep breath. Time to get this over with, he thought as he knocked and turned the knob at once, knowing they were already expecting him.

"Ah, Jason, come in." Chiron was in his magic wheelchair sitting over by the computer.

Annabeth was seated at one end of the loveseat, nervously picking at the hem of her shirt. Jason sat beside her on the other end. Silence reigned for a full minute while Jason tried in vain to find the words to start the conversation.

At last, Chiron came to his rescue. "I hope you and Piper are okay. You seemed rather upset when we passed you."

Jason nodded slightly. "We will be. Just missing Leo is all."

"Yes, I see. It is hard when someone we care about passes away. Take the time to grieve as you need, but do not forget to live. That is what Leo wanted for you both."

Jason nodded, again. "Yes, sir. We know." He trailed off. He could feel Annabeth's eyes on him.

Chiron came to the rescue, again. "Annabeth says you're worried about Percy. What should we know?"

Jason steeled his resolve, straightened his back, and cleared his throat. Percy's well-being was at stake. "A few days ago, Percy and I had a conversation, and well, some things he said have me a bit worried about him."

"What was the conversation about?" Annabeth prodded.

He turned to look at her. "It was when we met Kym, under the ocean, and he was poisoned by Polybotes."

"Percy was poisoned by Polybotes?" Chiron asked.

Jason nodded. "Yes. We had been traveling by sea, and a huge storm came up out of nowhere. It seemed determined to rip the Argo to pieces. Anyway, Percy was using the ocean to protect the Argo from the storm when I came up from below decks, and he indicated that he thought the source of the storm was under the water. We both jumped in. I reigned in a ventus to be able to breathe, and we swam down where we met Kymopoleia. We were trying to convince her to switch sides in the war when Polybotes showed up and trapped Percy under a net in a cloud of poison. I was eventually able to get through to Kym, and together she and I defeated Polybotes. Then, she dissipated the poison, and I got Percy out from under the net. He was pretty sick for a couple of days afterward, but he's fine now."

"Go on," Chiron urged.

"Well, after we got him out of the poison and everything and had talked with Kym and she had left, Percy and I were talking while he tried to recover some before going back to the ship. As we were talking, he said that while he was choking on poison, he thought that he was being punished by the gods for what he did Achlys. He said he thought he deserved it, so he didn't even try to push the poison away from himself. He just kept breathing it in, letting it kill him."

Annabeth sucked in her breath. "Oh, gods…I knew there was more…I knew he wasn't telling me everything that happened down there. Why? Why did we have to fall into Tartarus?" Jason could hear the panic in her voice and knew she was close to being overwhelmed by it. Piper had told him how panicked she had been in ruins of Sparta, and now he was seeing it for himself.

Chiron wheeled over to Annabeth. "Annabeth, stay calm. We'll figure this out, but I need you to tell me what happened in Tartarus with Achlys. Nothing will happen to Percy if we can help it. Okay?"

Annabeth took a shaky breath and nodded. "Okay. Achlys…I can do this." She took another breath and looked Chiron in the eye. "You have to understand, when we met Achlys, we had been in Tartarus for quite some time already. It was well into the second half of the 18 days we spent down there. Anyway, Bob and Damansen had said the only way to get past the hordes of monsters at the Doors of Death was to be shrouded in the death mist, so Bob led us to Achlys so we could be shrouded in it. Well, she tried to trick us."

Annabeth looked away, and Jason could see her arms trembling. Chiron was holding her hands, looking directly into her face. "Come, child, finish the story, for Percy's sake."

Annabeth closed her eyes. "For Percy," she murmured. She opened her eyes and settled her gaze on her trainer. "Achlys summoned a lake of poison and surrounded Percy with it. She had led us to the edge of Chaos. We had no escape. We were shrouded in the death mist, and Percy was having a hard time moving in it because it makes your body feel like a fog or a mist, even Riptide was in mist form. He tried to attack her with it, but it just passed right through her. Anyway, I think he began to panic. He had managed to get her attention, and he got her so mad, she was completely ignoring me, no matter what I did. I could tell he didn't know what to do. The lake of poison was flowing closer and closer to him. He was standing on a circle of land, maybe a yard in diameter, his sword was useless, and I couldn't do anything for him. Achlys kept taunting him, and then suddenly, she was gasping and gurgling and clawing at her throat. You see, she's the goddess of misery and poison. She cries constantly. I looked at her and realized that she was acting like she was drowning, but she wasn't in water. Then I looked at Percy. Gods, I'll never forget the look on his face."

She stopped her story and looked desperately at Chiron. Jason almost felt forgotten, but then she turned her haunted gaze on him and continued. "I think the most frightening thing I saw in Tartarus…was Percy. He was controlling the tears of Achlys and drowning her in them, but that's not all. He had even turned the tide of the poison lake and was making it inch back to her. The hate and ruthlessness in his eyes, Chiron…He could have put fear into the heart of Zeus himself. Achlys was absolutely terrified, and I swear I heard him say something along the lines of 'Let's see how much misery, misery can take.'"

Jason shuddered. He had heard the story of Achlys while on the Argo, but it had apparently been a watered down version. Chiron was staring at the floor and shaking his head.

"I've had Percy in my nightmares, and he's not coming to rescue me." Her meaning was unmistakable. She said it so quietly that Jason barely caught it, and he was certain that she had not dared say a word of that Percy.

Chiron looked back up. "Does Percy know about your nightmares of him?"

Annabeth shook her head, staring at the floor. "No. I can't bring myself to say anything. I know he would never hurt me. In fact, it was me that got him to stop torturing Achlys. He said that if I hadn't been there, he wouldn't have stopped until she was dead." A sob escaped her, and she clapped her hands over her mouth to try to stop any more, but Chiron wrapped his arms around her, hugging her tight, and she began to cry great heaving sobs. Clearly the terror she had experienced down there was still too much for her to think about too closely.

Jason scooted closer and rubbed her back. He wished more than he had wished yet that he had noticed Percy and Annabeth falling into that pit and had come and pulled them out. What they had experienced was more than he could ever have handled. The fates were not kind to his friends in the slightest.

It took several minutes, but eventually Annabeth was able to get her emotions under control. Chiron released her from the hug, and Jason patted her back one final time as she wiped her face with a handkerchief Chiron had pulled from a drawer of the computer desk. Once she had regained her composure, Chiron took back the reigns of the conversation. "Annabeth, I don't want you to say anything about those nightmares to Percy, at least not for now. Maybe in a few weeks or months, but with what Jason said and the story you've just relayed, I feel that that may be one thing too many for him. I could tell he needed away from all of this, which is why I told him to go home for couple of days. He needs a chance to clear his head, see his family, ground himself in his normal life, even if he is needed here. The past couple of years have been particularly hard for him, harder than I realized, I fear."

Jason caught Chiron's eye. "You've not even been with him for most of the past year. It's not your fault. It's not anyone's fault, but what's done is done. Now, I think, we just need to make sure he's not actually thinking about suicide."

"Do you really think that he's thinking about that?" Annabeth asked. Her face had paled considerably.

Jason shook his head. "No, I don't think he is, but with him not trying to fight to live when he was choking on poison in the middle of the ocean, I am worried that that would be his thought if something else happens. He's a living legend around here. I've heard the stories of what all he's done. He had already been through more than most, and his limits have been severely tested with this war."

"Jason is right, Annabeth. Suicide would never be Percy's go-to response to life. If it were, he would have at least attempted it long ago, possibly before ever even coming to camp. His life has never been easy, yet he has always persevered. Everyone does have a breaking point, however. And even if he never tried to kill himself, he might just decide to do nothing to fight death, like with the poison."

Annabeth had a frantic look in her eyes. "So what do we do? Talk to him? Stalk him? Force him to go to a psychiatrist?"

"I'll talk to him some over the next couple of weeks," Chiron soothed. "I'll have him tell me his story of the past several months. He has always opened up to me more when I just have him tell me his story. And you two just treat him like normal. Don't treat him with kid gloves. Spar, fight, swim, train, teach, just whatever you would normally do. Let him take on teaching classes and being camp life guard. Join in with normal camp activities. Like I said, he needs normal. Maybe you can even ask the gods to give you some space for a while. You both need it, Annabeth, him especially. And when it's time to leave camp for the school year, encourage him to do normal mortal things, join a sports team or club or something. Maybe basketball; he seems to have a talent for that. Do homework, go on dates, hang out with Paul and Sally. Be normal."

"Normalcy. Do you really think that's all he needs?" Jason asked. "I just want to be sure he doesn't do anything…permanent."

Chiron gave Jason a small smile. "You are indeed a good friend, Jason Grace, but I have known Percy many years. He is stronger and smarter than he normally gets credit for. His limits have been tested over the past year, that is true, but I feel that with time to relax and be among his family and friends, he will be fine. Besides, the sea does not like to be contained, and if you try to put limits on him, you will only do more harm than good. And he will push you and your friendship away. Pride may not be his fatal flaw, but that does not mean he lacks any. And he prides himself on his ability to take care of and fend for himself and those he cares for."

Annabeth sighed. "Normal…That sounds amazing…" she trailed off, her eyes unfocused with her planning look on her face.

Jason had to agree about normal sounding amazing. "I think some normalcy would do me some good, too. It's been a long year for all of us."

Chiron nodded, but before he could respond, Annabeth looked back up at them. "I have a plan. Is that all we needed to discuss because I think I need to speak with Reyna and Frank."

Chiron looked to Jason, and Jason nodded. Then Chiron turned back to Annabeth. "I believe that is all. You know where I am if you need me."

She smiled. "Yes, Chiron. Thank you." She gave the centaur a hug and then turned to Jason and hugged him. "Thank you, Jason. You really are a great friend. Thanks for looking out for Percy and telling me all of this. I'll see you later, okay."

"Okay," he agreed, and she walked out the door. Jason turned back to Chiron. "Well, I had one other thing to discuss with you, if you've got time."

Chiron straightened a little. "I always do."

"Good. Have you ever heard of a pontifex maximus?"

Early the next morning, Annabeth heard a quiet knock on the door of the Athena cabin. She had just gotten out of bed and changed into her jeans and camp t-shirt. Gray light filtered through the curtained windows of the cabin as she made her way past her sleeping siblings to the cabin door. She peeked out the front window and spotted a familiar head of black hair. Quickly, she slipped out into the cool morning.

"Percy! You're back so early. Guido probably hates you."

Percy turned, wrapped Annabeth in a tight hug, and kissed her soundly before answering. "Good morning to you, too. And Guido doesn't hate me. I bought him and Blackjack fresh Krispy Kremes. They love me." He smiled, looking more relaxed and refreshed than she had seen him since the previous fall. The war had been hard on him, but Chiron was right, normalcy was the key to the solving the problem.

Annabeth felt her eyes prickle, and Percy's face immediately clouded over with concern. "Annabeth, what is it? I'm sorry. I knew I should have come back last night. I just-"

Annabeth interrupted him with another kiss. "Don't be sorry. You needed that time at home. You just look so relaxed and happy, and I haven't seen you look so much like yourself since last fall. I just wish that this year hadn't happened, that you wouldn't have had to go through so much. I love you so much, Percy. I hope you know that." She snuggled into his chest, relishing the feeling of his strong arms wrapped around her, holding her tight. She listened to his steady heartbeat and closed her eyes, just thankful to finally be back at Camp Half-Blood with Percy and no immortal beings or creatures threatening the safety of the world. For a few moments, she and Percy could just be, a luxury they hadn't had in the better part of year.

"I do know, Wise Girl. I love you, too," he whispered. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head.

She shivered, the cool air making goose bumps raise up on her arms. Percy rubbed them vigorously and pulled back from the hug a bit. "Come on. Lady Hestia has a nice, cozy fire going at the hearth, and I left a hoodie with her to warm up for you. We can talk some more there."

Annabeth smiled. "You're too good to me, Percy Jackson. A fire, a warm hoodie, a happy boyfriend, and the promise of a quiet conversation…I swear, all that's missing in that is hot chocolate."

Percy laughed. "Well, I don't have hot chocolate, but I did manage to salvage a couple of doughnuts from the box before Blackjack and Guido got to them. Maybe Lady Hestia will have mercy on us and conjure up a couple of mugs of it, though."

He led them over to the hearth, and they sat down. Percy grabbed a hoodie from behind the low stone wall surrounding the outside of the hearth and handed it to Annabeth. Then, he picked up a doughnut box. He handed Hestia a cinnamon cake doughnut, her favorite, Annabeth a cherry filled one, her favorite, and he ate a chocolate glazed one, his favorite. Annabeth smiled when two steaming mugs of hot chocolate appeared on the wall beside her, but when she turned to thank Hestia, the goddess was already gone. Annabeth handed Percy his cup, and they sat in silence, munching their doughnuts and sipping the hot chocolate while the sun rose and the camp woke up.

After a few minutes of quiet, Percy looked at Annabeth. "Something's bothering you. What is it?"

He knew her too well. She pulled away from where she was leaning into him and turned to face him, holding his hands, but unable to meet his eyes. "I guess I'm a little worried about you."

She glanced up at him and saw his brow furrow in confusion. "Worried about me. Why?"

Annabeth sighed. "I…You just seem so stressed lately, more irritable and hot-headed than normal, maybe a little depressed, even. I just worry."

He still looked confused. "We have been fighting a war, you know."

Annabeth's gray eyes met Percy's green ones. "Jason told me what you told him at the bottom of the ocean, Percy. He told me that you purposely didn't try push the poison from you, that you thought you deserved to die. That's a worrying statement."

Percy dropped his head and had the decency to look ashamed. "I don't suppose that I can just tell you to not worry about it."

"No, you can't."

Percy looked back up at her. "The truth is I scared myself that day, too. But I won't do anything, Annabeth. You have to believe me. Being at home yesterday and coming back to you and camp this morning, reminded me of just how great my life is. I guess I had started to forget. I'm sorry."

Annabeth grabbed Percy's face and forced him to hold her gaze. "It was a war, Percy. We were in Tartarus – Greek Hell – for over two weeks. You were kidnapped, put in a coma, given amnesia, and sent on a quest to rescue Death himself in the land beyond the gods. It's not surprising that you would lose sight of all the good in the world. Just…If it happens again, talk to me or Chiron or your mom or anyone. Don't start to think that you deserve death. You've done too much good for this world and the gods to deserve to be poisoned to death. Remember that. Okay?"

Percy's eyes took on a faint sheen, but he didn't cry. "I'll remember," he promised. "I love you so much." He pulled her into a tight hug. "Gods, I love you so much," he whispered into her hair.

Annabeth held him tight and felt her eyes prickle with unshed tears. "I love you, too, Percy. I always will."

After a minute or so, the couple pulled apart. Annabeth saw Jason making his way to the Hades' cabin. She heard the Romans moving around their campsite, beginning the process of packing up to head back to California later in the day. Four mischievous looking eleven-year old boys were walking towards the volleyball courts, and she was sure that before the morning was over she or Percy (or both) would have to mediate an argument between them and whoever they were planning on annoying so early in the morning.

She looked back at Percy with a sly grin on her face. "I have a surprise for you."

Percy's eyes sparkled. "I like your surprises."

Annabeth laughed. "Well, I hope you like this one. I talked to some people yesterday."

Percy smirked. "Did you, now? Who did you talk to, or is that a secret?"

Annabeth shook her head, shoulders shaking from laughter. "Nosy, aren't you, Seaweed Brain?" Percy pointed to his nose and winked. "Fine, I'll tell you," she continued, rolling her eyes. "I talked to my dad, Frank, and Reyna."

Percy tugged his chin, mimicking thinking exceptionally hard. "So you talked to a bunch of Californians and now have a surprise for me…Hmm…"

Annabeth shook her head and grabbed his hands once again. Percy looked at her with a small smile. "What would you say to us spending our senior year here in New York together, and then, moving to New Rome for college next fall?" she asked.

Percy's eyes sparkled even brighter than before. "Really? Are you serious?"

Annabeth nodded, a wide smile gracing her face. "Really."

"Four years with no monsters, wars, or prophecies?"

"Four normal years," Annabeth agreed.

Percy whooped loudly and laughed. Annabeth smacked his arm and laughed, too. "Shush, Seaweed Brain. People are sleeping."

Percy quieted down but that deliriously happy grin on his face didn't fade, and Annabeth was sure that all of this fear over Percy's mental health would soon fade into a bad memory. He would do what he always had done: face seemingly impossible odds and come out on top, proving himself to be stronger and more resourceful than anyone had ever thought. And she couldn't be more proud to call him her boyfriend, her best friend, and the love of her life.

A/N: Thanks for reading this monster. It didn't want to end, but I finally wrangled it to a semi-decent stopping point. I hope you liked it. Review, please.