This story is rated T for language and it contains a major spoiler for episode 11x04. Read at your own risk.

I don't own Bones.

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"I hate you! I'll never work with you again!"

That's how our first case working together ended and I thought I'd never see her again, but that book . . . 'Bred in the Bones' . . . that book changed everything. I never told her that . . . hell I never told anyone that, but it's true.

I was at the bookstore looking for something to read when I saw it. What caught my eye was her name, Dr. Temperance Brennan. I stared at the book and I though what the fuck, how good can it be?

Yeah, well, I was curious so I bought it and . . . wow, talk about a game changer.

I was in there. She wrote about me. Sure the FBI agent was named Andy Lister, but I knew it was me. It had to be me. Every character in that book was based upon people that she knew. Everyone . . . so that makes me Agent Andy . . . right? Sure it does.

Anyway, I figured that if Dr. Temperance Brennan really hated me why would she include me in her book? She wouldn't. That made me think about working with her again. If she could write about us working together in her book then she was probably open to working with me again.

I took it as a sign and I came up with a plan to get her to work with me again. I called in a few favors. I had her stopped at the airport when she came back from Guatemala, so I could rescue her from Homeland Security and then when she arrived at the airport, it worked, well sort of.

She knew what I was up to and she really didn't seem to want to work with me, but I didn't let it go and with a little bending on my part and blackmail on her part we became partners.

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When Bones writes those books she has these really brilliant cases in there that are interesting, but the best part of the books is that I've been able to use those books to gauge how our relationship is going.

From day one, she denied that I was Agent Andy, but everyone I knew who read her books knew that it was me, just like Amanda is Angela. Bones is a genius, but let's face it, her world is kind of small when it comes to people, so if she writes about someone that person is always based upon someone she knows. It's what she does.

Anyway, the more she's denied Andy is me, the more I've come to believe that he is me and that's important. She put in a bunch of crap in there about Agent Andy being a Harvard grad who spoke six languages, but that was just window dressing. Of course that part about Andy having sex with Amanda was a little confusing and it's not like I didn't think about it when I first met Angela, but still, I never had sex with her and Bones knew that. I think she was using Amanda as a substitute for Kathy. Maybe, I'm not sure.

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That second book, 'Cross Bones' was dedicated to me. This book is dedicated to my partner and friend, Special Agent Seeley Booth. I didn't expect that, not at all.

There was more action between Kathy and Andy in that one and that gave me hope that someday me and Bones would get together too. At the time we were pretty much best friends as well as partners and I got that.

Bones has a lot of personal baggage and with it came a lot of fear. Don't get me wrong she's the bravest person I know when it comes to physical courage, but when it comes to taking a chance on things like love . . . hell she refused to even believe love was real. She believed in sex but not in love.

As bad as my childhood was, I never gave up on love and I knew that some day I'd get married and have kids, but Bones couldn't admit love was real let alone think about having kids. Let's face it, marriage to her was and is an antiquated social something or other and she didn't want anything to do with it at the time.

Still those books were an interesting look inside of that beautiful brain of hers. In her fantasy world, Kathy took emotional chances and I knew that deep inside of her, Bones wanted to take those chances too, but she was too afraid to try. I knew that and I tried to be the friend she needed at the time. I knew I had time . . . we had time.

Also, to be truthful, I was too afraid to admit that I loved her. I didn't love her enough to risk losing her in my life. Or maybe I loved her too much to take the risk. I don't know.

So yeah, I have emotional baggage too.

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When her fourth book came out, Bone of Contention, I wasn't sure what to do about that one. She had the hottest sex scene ever in that one between Agent Andy and Kathy and the thought of doing that with her made my fantasies take a rather intense leap. It was just so damn hot and so damn frustrating.

By then, I could admit to myself that I loved her, but I was too chicken shit to tell her. I was so certain that if I did that she would run and I mean run as fast and as far as she could go. All those years and she was still afraid of love.

My brain tumor affected me in ways that I didn't expect. It reminded me that our time on this earth is limited and words unsaid accomplish nothing. So I took a chance and it blew up in my face.

I asked her take a chance and it scared the hell out of her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her, but I knew that would just scare her even more. I guess at the time I thought it was assumed, but Bones doesn't assume anything. I don't know if those words would have hurt her, but I ended up scaring her anyway so who knows.

That time in our lives was a mess. A huge mess and it almost crushed me. I know it was pretty rough on her too. I loved Bones so much and she didn't want me. That rejection was so . . . it just moved me into a bad place I guess. I'd been rejected by everyone I'd ever tried to love since I was a kid. . . Well that's a lie, Pops and Grams loved me, but that's the only love I'd ever known. I'd tried to give my heart to women I'd loved several times in my life and they all refused it. I knew I was screwed up, but . . . and then when Bones rejected me, it was almost too much for me to take.

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I knew that I'd have to find someone else and I did. Well, I thought I did. That was probably the worst mistake I'd ever made when it comes to the heart, but I didn't know that until my soul was a charred wreck.

I've always considered myself a heart guy, but when it comes to love I've never worked out what it takes to get the family I wanted. Bones was always talking about not ever being part of a family, but hell, what was I accomplishing? She was afraid of love so she protected herself.

Me? I wasn't afraid of love and I kept getting hurt. Who was wiser in all of this? Probably Bones.

Anyway, during my 'moving on' period, Bones had a change of heart about us and after my fiasco with Hannah, Bones was there to help me put my broken heart back together. She was my friend first and then miraculously we became lovers and then miracle of miracles, we got married.

That is when Bones finally admitted that I was Agent Andy. It took over six years, but finally what I knew was true was confirmed. I am Agent Andy and it made me love those books of hers even more.

And now . . . now Bones has just told me that she's killed off Agent Andy and that he isn't me.

What the FUCK! She's killed me . . . her husband. She's killed me and all I can ask is why the fuck did she kill me? FUCK!

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So let me know what you think of my little story. I appreciate it.