This story is for .x, who asked me to write a story about Lily and Ethan and gave me some great ideas. I've only written the first chapter, but I didn't want to keep you waiting any longer. I'll try to update in the next few days. I really hope it lives up to your expectations.

Lily stared hard at her locker and tried to convince herself she wasn't going to cry.

She couldn't. It would be inappropriate. It would be unprofessional. She'd managed to get through the entire working day without properly shedding a tear so she ought to be able to collect what she needed from her locker and go home without crying too. If she needed to cry, it could be done privately in her own home.

But telling Connie had stirred up her emotions and her tears. She needed all her strength to fight them back. Her hand shook as she brushed a tear away. No, she mustn't cry! She mustn't be so weak. He would hate that. It would be another sign that she wasn't good enough.

Lily took a deep breath and told herself she could stay calm. She willed her hand not to shake as she opened her locker door.

"Hi, Lily. Good shift?"

Lily froze. Of all the people who could have spoken to her, there were worse people than Ethan. His brother, for example. Or one of the nurses. Or Alicia. Lily was supposed to be Alicia's mentor and she'd shown far too much weakness in front of her already.

"Lily? Are you all right?" Ethan sounded anxious now. She could imagine him hovering just behind her, his eyebrows pulled together in a slight frown that would just be visible above his glasses.

"Nothing!" said Lily. She slammed the door shut and turned to face Ethan. "Nothing."

"Oh. I-I-I'm sorry," said Ethan. "I didn't mean… I thought… I'm sorry, Lily. My mistake."

He looked very awkward and embarrassed, his cheeks tinged with red. Lily told herself she didn't care, but it bothered her that she might have hurt Ethan's feelings. She'd long ago given up hope that he might marry her, but she didn't want to hurt him. He was a good doctor. A good man. He was proving that right now.

"No, I'm sorry," she choked out as the tears rose in her eyes again.

His brown eyes widened in surprise, then softened. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Why would I want to sit down?" said Lily, rather confused. "How would that make any difference to anything?"

"Well, I… it can help to sit down sometimes," said Ethan. "Take the weight of your feet."

"I can assure you the weight on my feet is not the problem," said Lily. It was more the weight on her heart and she just wanted to be alone. She didn't want Ethan fussing over her. Perhaps if he hadn't chosen that stupid little shop girl over Lily, things might be different, but he had chosen Honey. And look how well that had turned out.

Ethan continued to look worried. "Would you like to tell me what's wrong?" he asked in a soft voice. "You don't have to. Obviously, you don't have to. But I might be able to help."

"No," said Lily. "You couldn't help."

"Try me," said Ethan with a little smile. His voice was warm.

"No, you could not," said Lily with finality. "I… I have had some bad news. You cannot change bad news."

Ethan took a half-step towards her. He spoke hesitantly. "I'm very sorry to hear that, Lily. Is there anything I can do?"

"I just wanted…" began Lily, but she managed to stop herself. She couldn't say it. Not to Ethan. Not to anyone.

"Whatever you want, you can tell me," said Ethan, very gently.

He waited, but Lily said nothing. She lifted up her head, determined not to show weakness, but she couldn't meet Ethan's eye.

Ethan tried again, his voice still calm and patient. "Shall I make you a cup of tea?"

"What would tea do?" burst out Lily. Tea wouldn't bring her father back. Even if it could, nothing would make him say the words Lily so longed to hear. But she knew Ethan was only trying to help. "I mean, thank you for offering to make me tea. It would achieve nothing, but I know you meant it as a kindness. I just want…" She stopped. She wanted to leave. That was all she wanted. To go home.

She looked at Ethan again. He looked so kind. So concerned about her. "Lily, if there's anything you want to say: anything at all… well... you can say it," said Ethan. "You know it won't go any further."

Lily shook her head. It had been bad enough telling Connie. She couldn't tell Ethan too. But she began to speak, the words creeping unbidden to her lips. "My… I heard today… my mother told me… my father has died," said Lily. A wave of emotion rose in her throat. With an effort, she swallowed it down. She would not cry in her workplace. She would not.

For a moment, her sadness was reflected in Ethan's face. "Lily, I'm sorry. I really am so sorry for your loss. If there's anything I can do, you only have to ask."

"I need to go," said Lily. She knew he was being kind. She knew that he actually meant every word he was saying. But that made it worse. That made it harder to keep control.

"Of course," said Ethan. "I won't keep you any longer. Unless… can I offer you a lift home?"

Lily's first instinct was to refuse, but then she thought of making her own way home and how difficult it would be. She felt so tired. So drained. It would not be safe for her to drive home in her current emotional condition – and much as Lily had yearned for solitude moments earlier, she now found she didn't want Ethan to go. "Yes. All right. Thank you, Ethan."

"I'll just need you to bear with me for one minute," said Ethan, but she was grateful when he turned away because it gave her the chance to compose herself. She wondered if he'd known she needed that. She wiped quickly under her eyes and reminded herself that she was at work. Until Ethan had left her, she must and would be professional.

But it was so, so difficult when she knew she would never see him or hear his voice again.