Chapter 1 – Memories

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Olivia looked out into the distance taking in the blue ocean and the feel of the warm sun against her skin. It had been eight months since Skyfall. Eight months since James thought she were dead. The doctors informed her they had lost her twice when they had tried to remove the bullet from her. It was a miracle she had managed to survive given the amount of blood she had lost. Not to mention her age. Once she had regained consciousness, she had agreed with Mallory that it was in everyone's interest that they thought she had died in surgery. But that didn't stop her envisioning the heartbreak she saw in James eyes as he held her in his arms, thinking that would be the last time they would see each other. Hell, she even thought herself that it was the end, but it seemed fate was on her side. If it hadn't been for the tracker James had kept with him, she wouldn't be standing here now.

She had lived. But was it really much of a life if she had no one? M had longed to tell James, but it was in the best interest for both of them that he got on with his life, rather than clinging on to her. She was nothing more than a distant memory and it was better in everyone's interest that it remained that way. All of Silva's henchmen had been apprehended and were no longer a threat much to her relief and she could finally bury that part of her past for good this time. But that didn't stop her from hacking into MI6 servers now and again to try and keep up to date on what was currently happening. Mallory only told her so much and she was never one for being kept in the dark. However, she did find that Mallory seemed to have been accepted in his new role far more easily than when she had held the role of M. She couldn't help but think it was because he was a man and more suited for the job, which was more than likely, the reason for it.

She held no grudges against the man; he would no doubt make a fine M. Well, for the time being, she didn't know how he would be a few years down the line. He had promised to keep her updated on any information that regarded James. Mallory was right about his assumption in her office that day, she was sentimental over Bond, and she just didn't want to believe it at the time. After all she had a job to do, she couldn't let her feelings for Bond get in the way of it. Even though they already had. She denied it of course, but now she couldn't any longer. She had cared for him, and still did, but it seemed those feelings grew and developed into something more. She knew the signs, having had the same sensation when she was married to her late husband. M had slowly come to love Bond, in a way she never thought possible. Now, he would never know her feelings and it was probably best that he hadn't found out. He would never let her go.

The insufferable bugger always got on her nerves and that was without him not finding out about her feelings for him. But she couldn't deny her job was never dull when he was around, it was quite the opposite. She missed him with each passing day and her thoughts and heart seemed to agree with her. No matter how much she tried to keep herself busy, her thoughts would always come back to him. It was maddening and comforting at the same time. All she had left of him now was her memories. Yet, she couldn't help but think… that it was better than having nothing at all.