Errand Day

With no urgent cases and Kensi and Sam gone, Callen and Deeks take some time to bolster some aliases.
Result? Hetty should really stop letting these two out unattended.

A/N: I promise I'll return them to those who own them after I'm done.

Hetty appeared in the bullpen and clasped her hands behind her back. "It seems that there are no pressing disasters today. Do we have a plan for the day?"

Callen gestured toward Kensi's empty chair, "Kensi's gone getting a filling at the dentist."

"It's time for the sugar gnome to pay the piper." Deeks chortled into his cup of coffee.

Sam shook his head. "I'd like to see you say that to her face."

"I did once, almost had to get a tooth of my own fixed." Deeks rubbed at a spot on his jaw while he remembered how his ninja ducking skills had saved him a broken shoulder.

Hetty ducked her head and pursed her lips, "And the rest of you?"

"I was asked to come into the main office and help out with some tactical training." Sam smiled. "They asked if I could play a 'crazed terrorist'. I told them I've had some experiences that could help me get into character."

"Good. Make sure you don't scare anyone into quitting." Hetty nodded her approval. "So that leaves Mr. Callen and Mr. Deeks." She lifted her eyebrows at the two remainders.

"I was hoping to check in on some of my aliases." Callen answered her question easily.

"Me too." Deeks threw in.

"Then the two of you can partner up for the day and watch each other's backs." At their nods, she turned and headed back to her desk.

"Do you need anything?" Callen asked Deeks.

"I should grab a couple things. I think there's at least two I want to step into today."

"I have at least two too. We can see how long they take and go from there."

They separated, each heading to a stash box where they kept odds and ends that helped sell their various covers. They met at the parking lot and once the quick discussion as to who would be driving was completed, they settled into the car for a long day of driving. Deeks started fiddling with the stations and since none of the ones he stopped on bothered Callen, he didn't object. Callen pointed his Mercedes towards their first stop and they were off.

Joshua

Deeks pointed over at a parking lot. "Stop here, we have to go into the bakery around the corner."

"So what's this alias?" Callen pulled into a spot.

"Joshua, the wedding planner."

Before Callen could get any more information, Deeks was already out of the car and unbuttoning the shirt he was wearing and striping it off revealing the T-shirt he had on underneath. Callen wanted to point out that it was a pretty tight T-shirt, but the words died on his lips after Deeks tied the button-down shirt around his hips grunge-style, lifted his hands up and flopped his hands down loose at the wrists.

He turned to Callen and said, "I like to think of Joshua as Sven's cousin who's spent too much time in Miami." He then proceeded to sashay, yes, Callen decided it was the only word to describe what was happening in front of his eyes, sashay into the bakery.

"Hola, chicas!" A voice that sounded somewhat like Deeks floated out behind him as Callen followed him in. However this voice came from a body that had probably spent too much time in a poolside cabana with party girls and fruity drinks.

"Joshua!" A chorus of voices called back.

"That smells just scrumptious. What is it?" Deeks popped over to the counter and took a big sniff of whatever was cooling on the other side.

Callen fought hard to not react.

"A new cookie recipe – double chocolate brownie with Macadamia nuts. Want one?"

"No…I have to watch my girlish figure." Deeks plopped a hand on his hip.

Callen couldn't do it anymore. To his credit, only his eyebrows popped up.

"I'm here about cake." Deeks moved over to the high table over by what appeared to be the decorating station.

"You are always here about cake." A lady appeared from the back and was wiping her hands on a towel tucked into the waistband of her apron.

"That's because you have the best cake, Maria." Deeks smiled. They kissed on each cheek and then took a seat at the table. "I have a bride."

Maria's eyes flicked over to Callen and she raised an eyebrow, "Oh?"

Callen opened his mouth before Deeks could say anything. "No, not me."

A flicker of disappointment flew through Deeks' eyes, but he rolled with it. "No, it isn't him. No, this bride is divine, her name is Consuela." Deeks pulled out the words and threw in a little sigh. "This is the husband." He waved his hand at Callen. "Come, sit. With Consuela away on a photo shoot it is I and he who must suffer through the onerous task of choosing just a single cake."

Callen decided that he was the type of groom that would silently suffer through the antics of a high-strung wedding planner so he acted accordingly by saying nothing. The first plate of sample cakes landed in front of him and he picked up a fork to try them. He listened as the other two at the table started talking about whipping cream vs. butter cream based icings, real vs. sugar flowers and whether or not stenciled designs lived up to hand painted ones. He found that although he had no knowledge and therefore no opinion, Deeks had both, and a lot of each. As he dug into his second plate he began to wonder where Deeks was picking up all this information. Aside from all of that, he had to admit, this was fantastic cake.

"Si. That is what we will do. And which cake do you prefer?"

Callen realized that Maria was talking to him. "Uh. This one." He used his fork to point at a white cake with a filling that was a combination of the lightest whipped cream and real strawberries. "Is there cinnamon in it?"

Maria smiled. "Only the tiniest amount to give a suggestion of the flavour."

"Of course, we will need to give a sample to Consuela as well." Deeks added as he shoveled a bite of the chocolate-mocha cake into his mouth.

"Of course. I will wrap up a second tasting platter." Maria pushed herself away from the table and headed back into the kitchen.

"What happened to watching your 'girlish figure'?" Callen whispered at Deeks.

"Shut up and pass me the carrot cake." Deeks licked his fork and attacked the second plate.

After some pleasantries and such, the partners walked back out of the bakery with Deeks prancing in front and Callen carrying the box of cake. Once they were back at the car Deeks asked Callen to pop the trunk and he nestled the box into a safe place where it wouldn't slide.

"Who's the cake for?"

"Kensi," Deeks slammed the lid. "Any time I go there I pick something up for her. I figured the cake would cheer her up after getting the filling."

"Where did you learn how to walk like that?" Callen stared at his partner across the roof of the car.

With a deadly straight face Deeks monotoned "Legally Blonde." Then he dropped into his seat leaving Callen staring into space while realizing that now he had more questions than answers. He followed suit, but before starting the car he couldn't resist asking one more question.

"Consuela and I are clearly not getting married, what are you going to do about that?"

Deeks shrugged. "In a couple weeks I'll go back in and explain how she realized she couldn't be tied down, especially to an older man, and broke off the engagement. I'll buy some cookies, gossip a bit and then carry on."

"Firstly, I'm not old. And secondly, if you just keep breaking off cake orders, how does this work?"

"Who says I keep breaking off cake orders?"

"You're not actually a wedding planner."

Deeks grinned. "No, but I have accompanied several female patrolmen and detectives as they have chosen their cake for their weddings while in character."

"When are you going to use a wedding planner alias for work?" Callen was slightly concerned and confused.

He shrugged. "Who knows, but for now, I get cake."

Callen thought about that for a moment. "Okay, I get it. Let's keep going."

Nikolas

The garage Callen pointed the car towards might have been described as 'having great potential' and 'opportunity for increased value' by a real estate agent desperate to sell the listing. Other people would not be as gracious, probably referring to it as 'a dump' or 'has that abandoned look'. Nevertheless, the gate opened without a squeak or protest and Callen drove around to the back. He looped a heavy gold chain around his neck and opened up another button of his shirt. He turned to Deeks and asked him to slick back his hair as best he could. The result was somewhat acceptable, as long as they were gone before it dried.

"What do these guys do?" Deeks had asked on the drive over.

"They have their fingers on the pulse of the Central Asia crime groups."

"What do they think you do?"

"That I happen to be a part of one of the Central Asia crime groups."

"Which one?"

Callen gave him a sideways glance, "We don't talk about it."

Deeks shrugged. "What do you want me to do?"

Callen squinted at him. "Say as little as possible. Look for a van with a side sliding door; if you find one, point it out. But try and stay in sightline. These guys are a jumpy bunch."

"Sure, what are you planning?"

"Possibly kidnap Sam." Callen tipped his head to the side. "Or maybe Eric."

"Cool." Deeks patted down a stray curl and they climbed out of the car.

Callen walked to the open bay and when a loitering man saw Callen he pulled out his phone. Deeks made sure he could see the gathering group and walked along the parked cars that were in varying degrees of disrepair.

When the short, squat leader of the group appeared from inside the building, Callen broke out his best frown. "Karim. You've been quiet lately."

The man snorted. "We are not the kind that like our faces on the evening news."

Which made gathering evidence of their misdeeds that much harder, Callen mused. "Best to let others live in glory for a moment…"

"…Then to come to a glorious end before your time." Karim finished the thought, sneering at the idea that led others to suicide missions. "Who is that?"

Callen turned slightly to catch a glimpse of Deeks while still keeping an eye on the group. "An associate."

"He is not one of yours."

"No, we have a shared problem." Deeks' build and hair would be even harder than his own to pass off as Central Asian. "He comes from Sweden."

Karim made a face. "Sweden, you can't expect me to believe that country has syndicates."

Callen turned a corner of his mouth upward. "How do you think Ikea became so successful; their high-quality long-lasting furniture?"

A moment of silence passed and then the group burst out laughing. When the sound died down, a whistle sounded from the parking lot. They all turned to see Deeks leaning against a van.

"A good choice. Two, three weeks. Bring your own license plates. Payment due upon pick-up." Business complete, the group filtered back into the building leaving the partners alone on the pavement.

Deeks walked up to Callen. "Think that sniper in the upper window's going to shoot me yet?"

Callen smirked. "Not unless he wants to be one screw short on every bookcase he buys for the rest of his life."

The interior of the car muffled Deeks' chuckles as they drove out of the lot.