"And that's when I grabbed the Beowolf by the neck. Then I…" Professor Peter Port was often called long-winded when he told these stories. He preferred to say he was 'weaving a powerful and intricate quilt of inspiration through his words of wisdom.' No one else saw it that way. Thankfully, he wasn't torturing the students at this time.

No. This time, he was torturing his fellow teachers. Sitting around the table were three other members of the Beacon faculty, all of whom were playing a game of poker in the teachers' lounge. To Peter's left was his personal friend Bartholomew Oobleck. Across the table was a younger teacher, maybe in his early 30s, with a pink and white color scheme adorning his suit and a head of pink hair that made him easy to spot in the crowd. This was Alexander Peach, professor of botanical studies at Beacon Academy. The final member to round out the group was a young man that would easily be confused for a student. His bright blue hair, mirror glasses, and two color suit vest (one half orange, the other black) revealed him to be Professor Justinian, head of Dust application studies and the resident expert on the myths and legends of Remnant.

Peter finally finished his tale with a simple, "With that, the creature was doomed to fall and I was more than happy to oblige its fate."

"Honestly, Peter," Oobleck interjected, "I find that hard to believe."

"No kidding," Peach stretched slightly. "Seriously, I find it hard to imagine killing a Grimm with nothing more than a lighter and some copper wire as a weapon."

"Then you simply have no imagination, my boy." Peter let out a bellowing laugh. "I jest, Peach."

"I don't think I want to imagine how you would even begin to do half of what you say you did in your stories."

"You don't believe I did any of that?"

"Nope."

"He did." The teachers around the table turned to Justinian, who was finally entering the conversation. "I've actually seen him pull off the copper wire thing. It, apparently, can be done."

"And the time he said he killed a Grimm with just a broom stick?"

"I wasn't there. Thank dust for that, if the story is true."

Peter just continued to laugh good-naturedly. "Maybe one day, you could do something so spectacularly unbelievable."

"I think I'd rather not." Justinian looked over his hand a moment before placing them face down on the table. "Fold."

Oobleck did the same. "Not this hand."

Peter laughed again. "I suppose it's just you and me, Peach." He placed his cards on the table revealing his hand. "Two pair. Kings and Queens."

Peach sighed. "Twos and Threes…"

"That's fine, my boy. Often a loss can be turned to create a new experience. Still, it must feel rather disappointing to lose like this."

"Actually," Peach placed his hand on the table, revealing two 2s and three 3s. "Full house."

Justinian chuckled. "Looks like he feels Peachy."

After a moment of silence for the death of comedy, Peach stood up and stretched. "You lost Peter. You know what that means, right?"

"I'm aware." Peter stood, slightly unnerved.

Bartholomew placed a hand on Peter's shoulder. "Good luck, Peter."

"Thank you, Bart."

"You'll need it." Justinian added, deadpanned.

Peter walked down the hall and stood outside the office of Headmaster Ozpin. After a few deep breaths, he walked in and looked around. As expected, Ozpin was nowhere to be found. Likely out with Glynda, he thought. He looked around the office and found the object he was seeking, Ozpin's prize coffee maker. He knew that the device was actually broken. Thankfully, Ozpin had yet to notice thanks to Glynda. Peter recounted the bet, sneak into Ozpin's office and replace the coffee maker without the Headmaster realizing it was ever broken. Peter went to reach for the device only to find a sticky note on the side.

It read, "Dear Peter, It is most likely that you will be the one to read this after losing to Alexander at cards. I was well aware of the braking of my favorite coffee maker. I had it repaired as soon as I was able."

"Well… Ozpin never ceases to amaze."

"By the way, I know you were the one to break my appliance and we will talk about this when I return. –Ozpin"

Peter looked at the paper in silence. His first thought, escape! He moved quickly toward the door, only to have it open before he reached the doorknob. Standing in the doorway was Ozpin.

Once he noticed Peter, a good natured smile spread across his face. Beneath this face of a friend was the snake, ready to kill its victim as painfully as possible. "Peter, what a surprise." Ozpin closed the door behind him as he entered.

It is said, that what happened behind that door would put Peter's stories to shame.

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King: Hello there everybody! This idea popped into my head at one point and I thought it would be interesting to put a fun spin on the story of the teachers. This one is a more a series of little stories than a larger one. So if you have any requests just let me know. Preferably by way of PM. Don't want to use reviews to make requests. That would be silly.