Perfectly Free

Chapter 3

by Kate04

Andy did not know that she still had the spare key Provenza had given her after his accident. The old man had decided that since she was taking care of her boyfriend anyway, she could just as well fetch his mail and water his plants for him, too. Apparently, she had not returned it yet. If that meant coming home to a sight like the one in front of him in that moment, he could find absolutely nothing wrong with that.

The first thing he noticed when he entered his house was the enticing scent of sautéed onions and garlic. If he had to guess, Andy would say that she was making her special, extremely delicious pasta sauce. His stomach rumbled appreciatively, reminding him that he had not gotten around to having lunch earlier.

The next thing he noticed was that Sharon had apparently found an old CD he had almost forgotten about. The hypnotizing rhythm of a seductive tango floated through the air and put a smile on his face. It reminded him of Nicole's wedding and how he still regretted that it had taken him most of the night to come up with the courage to ask Sharon to dance. Once they had hit the dance floor, he had not wanted to let her go again. They both enjoyed dancing and had fit well together, moving in perfect harmony. It had been more fun than he had ever dreamed of, being so close to her and exploring what they could do together. They had vowed that they would do it again, but so far they had not gotten around to it. Life kept happening and it did not present many opportunities for him to take her out like that. Maybe he could have tried harder.

When he wandered into the kitchen, drawn by the seductive smell and the soft sounds of food preparation, his breath caught in his throat and the sight that met him. She had definitely made herself comfortable after she came over. The turquoise button down she wore was familiar. He had discarded it the night before on his way to the shower and left it hanging over the back of a chair in his bedroom. It definitely looked better on her than it did on him, especially with the way it only came down to mid-thigh, leaving her bare legs for him to admire.

She swayed to the music as she stirred the sauce, a slight tilting of her head the only indication that she was aware of his presence. Andy stood in the doorway for a moment, enjoying how very at home she seemed, how comfortably she moved around in his kitchen. Several ideas occurred to him at once. His stomach demanded a thorough examination of the delicious content of the pots on the stove, but this urge was overruled quickly by more enticing possibilities.

Pushing away from the doorframe, he quietly walked up behind her, his hands landing on her thighs, slowly sliding upwards over her sides, pushing the shirt up along the way. When his lips brushed against the back of her neck, left exposed by the way she had put her hair up in a messy bun, he felt her shiver and lean back against him. She hummed happily as his arms closed around her, hands resting on her stomach. She threaded her fingers through his underneath her shirt and let her head fall against his chest, turning her face into his neck.

They stood like that for a while, gently moving back and forth with the music, soaking in the warmth and comfort of their closeness. When one song ended and a new, slower one began, Andy turned her around to face him, placing one hand against the small of her back and letting the other guide one of hers to rest over his heart. He backed them away from the counter, pulling her close until she laid her head against his shoulder.

Sharon fell into step with him without hesitation, letting him lead her around the small kitchen. She had hoped for a chance to dance with him again ever since Nicole's wedding and the surprising discovery that Andy was in fact a very proficient dancer. Doing so in his kitchen, wearing nothing more than one of his shirts, had not exactly been the scenario she had imagined, but it was perfect. She knew that they would have to talk, but she took a moment to simply enjoy being with him.

When she finally did speak, her voice was quiet and soft, conveying how comfortable she felt in his arms.

"I missed you these last few days."

His arms tightened slightly around her, and he turned his face into her hair, his lips brushing against her as he rasped his response into her thick locks.

"I missed you, too. It was a hell of a long week."

She had known that they would be all right the moment she had felt him come up behind her earlier, but hearing him say those words lifted the heavy weight of doubt and fear off her shoulders for good. However, there were still things he needed to hear from her, things she had a hard time putting into words. It had been too many years since she had last opened her heart to another. It had been broken so many times in the past, making it harder and harder to give it away again. With every bruise, every tear, every piece Jack had torn out of it, it took more effort for her to open up, to let herself feel deeply, to let go of her iron control and give someone else the power to destroy her like she had been destroyed so often before.

Despite her efforts to keep her distance, Andy had wormed his way into her heart over the years. There had always been a certain attraction, but it had been hidden behind snarky comments and professional antagonism. And then they had been forced to work together, for once being on the same side. Circumstances had required them to trust one another until trust had become unquestioning. It had opened their eyes to the incredible chemistry they had, the effortless way they worked together. After a while, that had turned into a reluctant friendship. She could not pinpoint the exact moment her feelings towards him had shifted once again, making her think of him as more than just her goofy, thoughtful, reliable, and infuriating friend.

It took several attempts for her to tell him what was in her heart and she chose to do so in small, careful steps, her voice not much more than a whisper against his pulse point.

"It was nice having you around these last few weeks."

He grunted quietly, planting a kiss against the top of her head. The hand that held hers against his chest tightened its grip slightly in acknowledgement, but he did not say anything. Instead, Sharon took the next step, like hopping from one stone to the other in order to cross a creek.

"The bed felt awfully big without you in it and your pillow doesn't smell like you anymore."

This time, she felt his lips stretch into a grin and she had to smile as well. It might sound a little silly, but she really had not slept very well since Andy had moved out again. Even though she had slept alone for most of her life, it had been easy to get used to his presence, and now that it was gone she missed it. She missed the sound of his soft snoring, the solid warmth of his body behind her, and the reassuring weight of his arm draped over her. She missed not being alone.

The next jump was bigger and she took a deep breath to steady her nerves before she moved on.

"Why did you leave?"

It was the one question she had never dared to ask Jack, and that would always be part of the guilt she carried. Maybe it would have made a difference. She would not let her fear of rejection destroy another relationship, however. Her chest burned with the need for oxygen, but breathing was impossible as she waited for his response.

He sighed, sounding sad and resigned as he pushed her away from him far enough so that he could look into her eyes, his own almost black with hurt and uncertainty.

"I thought you wanted me to go. How was I supposed to know? You let me leave."

Brushing her fingers against his cheek, taking pleasure in the slight roughness of his faint five o'clock shadow, she tried to calm his rising temper. She stared into his eyes, hoping he would understand.

"I had no right to ask you to stay, Andy," she whispered. When he merely frowned in response, she closed her eyes briefly, seeking courage.

"I have asked that question many times over the years. It has never ended well for me, so maybe I was afraid that you would leave anyway."

Andy took her face between his hands and stared down at her, making her feel as if he were trying to look into her heart. Maybe he was.

"I get it. The thing is, you were the one who wanted to take this relationship slowly. I understand why and I'm fine with it. I told you I'd wait and I meant it, but you can't ask me to be respectful of your wishes and then expect me to be the one to bring that up. That's not fair, Sharon. It's a big step and it has to come from you."

She knew that he was right. She had asked him to give her time. Wanting him to take the next step was not fair. Not without at least a clear signal from her that it would be welcome.

"I never expected to have this again, to feel comfortable with the idea of sharing my life with someone. But I do, Andy. Very much so, and it frightens me."

It was true; Sharon was terrified of the vulnerability that came with the depth of her feelings for him, but at the same time she had never felt safer than she did at that moment, in the circle of his arms, as they danced away their doubt and fear. He pulled her closer again, and she let her head fall against his chest once more, the deep rumble of his quiet voice moving through her as he spoke.

"I know. I'm scared, too. Mostly that I'll screw this up somehow. My last serious relationship was decades ago, and it didn't exactly work out so well. Amanda still only speaks to me when she absolutely has to. So yeah, I'm scared, but maybe we shouldn't let our messed up marriages kill this thing between us, 'cause I kinda like it, you know? I'd like to see what we can be together."

She hummed quietly, contentedly, her eyes closed, and her attention focused on his body moving against hers, strong muscles slightly softened with age. Together was a seductive word, a concept that felt strange and at the same time oddly familiar. Together, they had done many things over the years, moving from adversaries to colleagues to friends to lovers – always better together. Whatever the future held for them, they would face it – together.

"I'd like that, too. It isn't going to be easy, though," she warned, her free hand gliding up and down his back, soothing, reassuring.

Andy chuckled as he buried his nose in her thick curls. "No, I guess not. All we can do is take it slow, one day at a time, and see where that leads us."

Thinking about that for a moment, Sharon shook her head. "Don't you think we have spent long enough on taking it slowly? I know that combining two households is not an easy task. It is going to take a lot of thought and planning, but that doesn't mean that we can't fully enjoy what we have in the meantime. I am tired of putting everyone else first. We have walked on eggshells ever since this started, trying not to step on anyone's toes, making sure we don't offend anyone. It is time that we stopped that." She paused for a moment, shaking her head once again.

"No, let me rephrase that. It is time that I stopped that. You deserve better than that, and I am sorry that I made you doubt how much I want you in my life."

Looking up at him, she held his gaze with her own, making sure he knew how serious she was about what she had just said. The skin around his eyes crinkled as he smiled, his brown orbs sparkling with happiness. The hand that was resting at the small of her back pulled her bottom half closer as he spun them around in a series of quick steps in time with the music. Then he stopped.

Andy's expression sobered as he stared down at her, but there was still a hint of mischief behind the serious front.

"So what you're saying is that you want us to move in together?" He sounded hopeful, but it was the trace of doubt she heard underneath that, which made her heart clench with regret. Slipping both hands behind his head, she pulled him down until their lips almost touched. As she lost focus on his face, she let her eyes fall shut and brushed a brief, soft kiss against the corner of his mouth, her breath feathering against his skin when she spoke.

"Yes, I want us to move in together."

The last thing she was aware of before their lips met was the bright smile that transformed his face. Then everything stopped mattering. Their world narrowed down to the feeling of lips, and tongues, and teeth, to wandering hands, and the flames of desire burning in their cores. Her heart was racing and her hands were tingling with the need to feel his skin. She could not breathe, struggling against the burning in her lungs, unwilling to let go.

Their lungs won in the end, and they pulled out of the kiss, their lips still close. Sharon refused to open her eyes, clinging to the heated moment that was slipping away with every breath they took.

"I want you to come home, Andy," she whispered, her voice husky with desire. A very small part of her still feared rejection as she said the words, and she felt relief flood through her when his lips stretched into a grin against hers.

"You mean right now, or do we have a little time to do some catching up? I am feeling a lot better, you know?"

Laughter bubbled up from deep inside her. It shook her entire body, a much needed release of all the tension that had built up over the last weeks. Once she had herself under control again, she peered up at him through her lashes, giving the appearance of thinking about his question. Tilting her head to the side, she pursed her lips and hummed before she answered.

"Well, Rusty did say something about us bringing breakfast on the way back, so I suppose there is a little time." She barely finished speaking before his mouth covered hers again, effectively muting her and making her forget anything she might have added.

Sharon was dimly aware of being moved towards the kitchen door, their bodies swaying to the music. When they bumped into a chair halfway across the room, he drew back a little, both hands holding on to her hips as he looked down at her.

"How about we relocate to the bedroom before one of us ends up breaking a hip or something." A snort escaped her as she remembered Rusty's words from about a month ago. He had caught them kissing in her kitchen and, according to his own words, had been scarred for life by the experience. He had told them that people their age were not supposed to do anything like that, especially not in unsafe locations. Back then, she had blushed a deep shade of red, too embarrassed to meet his eyes for almost two days. Now, she saw the humour in it. Maybe it helped that her son was finally able to be in the same room with them without shuddering at the memory.

The thought of sinking into soft sheets together, of getting rid of the hindering layers of fabric that separated them, of experiencing what his injuries had prevented for entirely too long, was tempting, but she loved the music. She loved dancing with him and she was reluctant to stop.

"Can I have one more dance?" she rasped against his ear before she gently nipped at his earlobe. A low growl was her answer as he pulled her against him, clasping her right hand in his left and leading her away from the table and the treacherous chairs. "They're all yours. Every single dance I have left," he promised.

They started out following the rhythm of the seductive cha-cha-cha, gliding around the room, spinning and turning. Then he guided her into a low dip, following with his eyes as her breasts strained against the shirt. When he pulled her up again, his lips waited for hers, devouring her hungrily as he moved them again, his hips grinding against hers. The precision of their steps deteriorated quickly as their desire increased, creating a dance all their own. They forgot about steps, they forgot about the kitchen around them. They forgot about their dinner, which was still simmering on the stove, and about their misunderstanding. They forgot about their fears, and their worries, and the challenges they would be facing.

Together, they were free of conventions. They were free of restraints. They were free of past mistakes. Together they could let go of everything that had held them back before. They were free to be themselves. They were free to be. They were perfectly free.

~FIN~