Thank you fiordineve for reviewing! I can't thank you enough!
…
The rest of the year was horrible on all four roommates and it was a relief when summer finally rolled around.
As Sirius found an empty compartment, he reflected with sadness of how fun Gryffindor had seemed during Christmas. It was like all his worries had disappeared, and everything would be truly magical.
Seeing James helping carry Peter's and Remus' trunks, Sirius felt a wave of bitterness wash over him. "They've chosen their paths, and I've chosen mine."
….
Sirius was not the only one feeling sad, however. As James entered the empty train compartment with his two friends, he laughed sadly, remembering the first train ride.
Remus understood completely. "It's like that was another life."
James nodded, ruffling his hair under his hand absentmindedly. "At first, I thought it would be fun to try to persuade him. See how far I could go, you know."
Peter sat down, thinking hard.
James continued. "Around Christmas, I really thought there was a chance. I really thought…" James' voice broke as he remembered coming back to the common room Friday afternoon, happy to escape from schoolwork.
Then he saw the burnt presents in the fire. Then Sirius had spoken his true feelings.
James had avoided him after that.
"It's all over now," Peter said quietly.
The rest of the train ride was spent in silence, just as the first train ride had been.
This time, though, there was no Sirius.
…
When Sirius Apparated back to Grimmauld Place with his parents, he willingly took the curses. Even though he had done similarly before, Orion and Walburga noticed the change.
"Do you finally understand?" thundered Orion.
"Yes, father," Sirius responded quickly.
"But you are in Gryffindor!" Walburga shrieked.
Sirius thought about the matter and hung his head low. "I asked to be in Slytherin. I should have been in Slytherin."
Walburga eyed him coldly. "Very well. Kreacher will escort you to your room. I see that our discipline has finally gotten through to you, so you will spend a week in your bedroom."
"I'm grounded?" Sirius asked desperately. Groundings were painful in the Black household. No leaving your room meant no leaving your room. Not for food, not for water, not for anything. Luckily, Sirius had his own private bathroom, but Orion could choose when to allow the faucet to spit out pure water or rusty, undrinkable sludge.
"Yes, you are!" Walburga snapped. "Be grateful it wasn't more!"
Walking up to his room (running wasn't allowed), Sirius felt more angry and confused than ever before. I finally realized. I wasn't completely loyal then. I am now. Why am I still getting punished?
The second Sirius stepped into his room, the door slammed shut behind him and locked.
"I did what they wanted," Sirius whispered miserably.
"Sirius!"
Sirius perked up at the hoarse whisper coming from the opposite side of his bedroom door. "Reg!" he called out quietly, pressing his ear against the door. "I've missed you!"
"I've missed you, too!" came Regulus' muffled whisper. "You're amazing!"
"Amazing?" That was the last thing Sirius felt like—both James and Orion would agree with him on that.
"Yeah!" Regulus responded. "Getting into Gryffindor, doing what's right. I love it!"
"No." Sirius' eyes had gone cold. "Reg, listen to me, if it's the last thing you do, get into Slytherin. I messed up bad. You don't want to be like me!"
"I don't?" Regulus sounded so pathetic that Sirius wanted to pull his brother into a tight embrace.
Instead, he straightened up against his door. "No, you don't. Leave now. I don't want to talk to you anymore."
Sirius could hear Regulus' footsteps retreating down the hallway. But he did not cry. Blacks do not cry.
….
Five days later, Sirius was sprawled across his bed, weak with hunger.
"I don't get it," he said slowly. "I did what my parents wanted. Why are they not proud of me? Why am I getting the same treatment?"
Maybe it's because they don't love you, a voice reasoned in the back of his head. Maybe you would be happier with James, Remus, and Peter. They'll accept you.
It was all so confusing.
Sirius let out a frustrated growl and sat up. Violently tugging his suitcase over, Sirius began pulling random items out and throwing them across the room. He stopped, however, at seeing the items hidden at the bottom of the trunk.
A small mirror and two posters.
A choice.
Sirius hugged the mirror, relief flooding through him. There was still a way to escape from his family. Hope was not lost.
Unfortunately, Sirius couldn't bring up the courage to actually contact James.
Instead, he stuck the two Gryffindor posters on his walls and used his wand to keep them their permanently. No matter what would happen, Sirius' brash display of rebellion would be up on the wall forever.
Sirius then quickly packed his clothes and Hogwarts materials back into his trunk, cursing his parents for how weak and pained his body was.
"They were wrong," Sirius repeated under his breath, just in case he forgot. Picking his trunk up, Sirius quietly added, "I think."
Sirius checked his door handle, and was not surprised to find it unlocked. Walburga and Orion often played mind games with their sons, but enough failed attempts had successfully snuffed the boys' attempts to escape groundings.
At the top of the landing, Sirius passed Regulus, whose eyes widened. "You're leaving?" he asked in an awed whisper.
Sirius nodded. "Come with me. I'm not coming back. This could be the last time we ever talk. I've had it up to here with them."
Regulus shook his head furiously. "I can't. What would they do to us?"
Sirius knew all too well the blind fear of punishment; the feeling that he was not safe even when all facts pointed one way. Before he had let that fear control him. Not anymore.
"Goodbye," he whispered, and roughly kissed the top of his brother's head.
…...
Nine hours later, a very weak and tired Sirius arrived at the house of the Potters.
Fleamont and Euphemia were surprised at the appearance of the young Black; his hair was tangled and he looked to have lost too much weight.
"Can I…stay?" Sirius asked brokenly. If they refused him, he might as well die.
But the Potters, of course, ushered him in. James had told them all about the school year, and they were fully equipped to house one more boy.
Fleamont and Euphemia's doubts were tested when James appeared at the top of the stairs.
Would he forgive Sirius? Would he still be okay with Sirius staying?
James immediately brought Sirius into a hug.
"Took you long enough," he said.
And with those words, Sirius knew.
He was right where he belonged.
...
THE END
If you enjoyed this, check out my other Harry Potter fics!
