A quick story for new years eve. If you are a long time reader, you know this collection used to be called "sirius player" and was a crackfic comedy collection of sirius paired with everybody as a joke. Inclding some untasteful sirius pairings. Well, for old time's sake. Happy 2018, may it be full of jokes and romance.

~o~

Sirius Black walked into a bar.

"Gimme a firewhiskey and a bowl of nuts."

"SIRIUS!" A voice shot like a whip behind him.

Sirius felt chills down his neck as he recognized that voice. He winced as he turned around and prayed and hoped it wasn't who he thought it was.

Damn. Of course it was of course.

"Dumblewhore." Sirius flicked his eyes in a mixture of shame and lustful regret as he regarded the 80 year old man dressed in garter socks and heels again. "Selling yourself again?"

Sirius's hand quickly grabbed the firewhiskey the barman passed to him. He downed it one gulp. He needed the alchohol to numb his memory from the shame of his past.

Dumbledore giggled and sauntered up to him, none so discreetly, the old man pushed up his heavy double D breasts in his tight dress as he made his way to sit beside
Sirius.

Dumbledore ordered a drink and lifted up the glass, his sparkling blue eyes making contact with Sirius's. "For old time's sake?"

Sirius hated himself at this moment. Truly fucking hated himself right now.

"Sure, why not." Sirius grinned broadly. "I'll pay you to be my sugar baby though technically I am younger than you. I'm still richer and can afford to indulge your lifestyle of lavish trips to Paris, lingerie and high end dinners."

Dumblewhore laughed and pressed his cleavage together. "I am the best sugar BABY TO MY DADDY"

Sirius tried not to vomit and hung his head in shame. This was even worse than the time he serenaded Dolores Umbridge AND Fang.