AN: I wrote most of this before watching 6.07, so it disregards that episode, although I think this could easily be set sometime after 6.07.

Please let me know what you think about this.

Thanks,

Kat

He has been wondering through the house aimlessly for at least half an hour now and finally made up his mind to go outside despite the rain. Dr. Clarkson told him that he was allowed to return to an almost normal life about a week ago but so far nothing has felt almost normal.

He has to be very careful with his diet and although Cora, Mary, Edith and Tom all offered that they would eat according to his diet as long as there were no guests, he could not accept that offer. It does not make him better if they don't eat properly. He somehow suspects though that Cora is on a mission to at least not have his favorite food served anymore if it is something he isn't allowed to eat and alcohol is now only served on Sundays. Cora says that she thinks that as the hospital president she should set a good example and not drink too much but he is sure that she ordered Edith, Mary and Tom to abstain from alcohol so he wouldn't feel too left out.

Surprisingly all three of them seem to comply without complaint but then Edith eats in London half the time and Mary and Tom have fallen into a habit of eating lunch at a pub more often than not where he is sure they both enjoy having a drink or two. He does not mind that in the least, the better those two get along the better it is for the estate.

The girls and Tom being away for lunch so often however has one advantage. Cora and he are able to eat lunch by themselves, just the two of them, two or three times a week, something they haven't been able to do in over 35 years of marriage. They both enjoy these lunches tremendously and he thinks that it has brought them closer. The fact that Cora makes a point of being home for lunch is in itself a proof of her devotion to him. She spends most mornings and many afternoons at the Downton hospital and sometimes at the hospital in York. But she comes home for lunch every day without fault. He once asked her why and she said "We both know what neglect does to this marriage. And I don't want our marriage to end in ruins. I love you and I want to be happy with you." They are happy he thinks, very happy even, although he sometimes feels a bit superfluous and like an old broken man his young and energetic wife has to return to every day. But he always shrugs that thought off because he knows that Cora really does love him.

"Donk?" he looks around to see that it is George who has interrupted his musings.

"George," he says. "What are you doing here?"

"I slipped Nanny," the boy says with a very confident smile. George knows that that he is safe now, all the children know that as soon as they have reached one of their grandparents they are out of trouble. Cora and he were never any good at sending children back to their nanny to be scolded. Not when their daughters were small and certainly not now.

"Donk, can I go on your walk?"

"You don't know where I am walking. Maybe it will be boring for you."

"It won't be boring for me. I promise." This makes him laugh and reminds him of Mary very much. Mary always says that George is a miniature Matthew but there is quite a lot of her in him as well.

"We'll have to tell nanny. And you'll have to put on decent clothes." He can't take the boy with him in his sailor's uniform. He does not understand for the life of him why little boys always have to wear sailor's uniforms in the house. There are pictures of him wearing such a uniform and he looks utterly ridiculous in them.

As soon as his grandson returns downstairs they go outside and George grabs his hand immediately. It makes him smile because Mary used to do that too when she was about George's age.

"Donk, where are we going?"

" We'll walk to the village and visit your Granny Violet." Dr. Clarkson told him that walking would be very good for him and his illness has made him realize not only that he is getting on in his years but that so is his mother. And while he still may have decades to live, he is sure that she doesn't, no matter how often he tells Rosamund that their mother will bury them all. He briefly considered whether the walk wasn't too long for George, but they have a lot of time and can always go back with Cora later that afternoon.

"Granny Violet is mad at Granny." It is not a question, it is a statement and he sees no reason to deny it.

"Yes. They had a bit of a fight."

"Who won?"

"Granny," he says without thinking and without hiding the pride in his voice.

They walk in silence for a few minutes, George's tiny hand in his, holding fast and feeling like an anchor to the world.

"Donk, Mummy says that all of this will belong to me one day."

"Yes, it will."

"When?" He knows this topic is difficult but he also knows that he cannot protect any of his grandchildren form thinking about death.

"You will inherit the first half, my half, and the title when I die. And the second half when your mummy dies. But don't worry, it'll be many, many years until that happens. Look how old I am and we are going to visit my mother."

"Do you think she will be happy when she sees me?"

"She will be pleased," he says. He is sure of this, he just isn't sure how well his mother will be able to show that she is happy to see the future Earl of Grantham.

George then proceeds to tell him a story that Tom told them about Sybil stealing apples by accident that he cannot believe a word of until he remembers that Sybil was a free spirit and that Tom might have taken some literary freedom.

"The Earl of Grantham and Master George," the butler announces and he wants to laugh out loud looking at George standing to attention.

"Don't say it Robert, Spratt is too stuck up even for my taste," his mother says before she lets him kiss her on the cheek.

"Hello Granny Violet. We walked here," George says and his mother looks at him questioningly.

"You walked? With the boy? Are you sure that is good for you? How are you getting home?"

"Four questions in one, Mama. Yes, we did walk, yes I took George because he wanted to come, Dr. Clarkson says exercise is good for me and we will go home with Cora. I told George we'd see her later on, she can take us with her." His mother looks at him disapprovingly as soon as he has said that Cora could take them home.

"Why you allowed that woman to learn how to drive I will never understand."

"Allowed?" he asks perplexedly. Sometimes he still can't see through his mother. She keeps saying that women should always share their husbands' opinions but never cared about what his father thought. She told him he should have forbidden Cora something she wanted to do when she herself never listened to his father.

"Yes, allowed. You are her husband, she swore to obey you. I heard it."

"Mama," he says and then decides to not argue any further. It had in fact been him who told Cora to learn how to drive after he had listened to her complaining about always having to wait for Stark because he is their only driver left. Her own excitement only came along after her first lesson with Tom.

"Felix!" George screams at the top of his lungs and kneels down next to the cat that has just entered the room. Why his mother has always kept a cat is beyond him, but she has owned a cat for as long as he can remember. Seeing George play with the cat leads him to think that there will in all probability be a cat in the Downton family wing rather sooner than later.

He goes on talking to his mother who shoots looks of loving disapproval at George for a while and says 'Goodbye my dear boy," when they leave. He isn't sure whether it was meant for him or for George or maybe for both of them.

They walk past Isobel's house but are told that she isn't home and then go to the hospital where they meet Cora who was just about to leave.

"It was lucky Grandmama wasn't home then," he says to George before walking up to Cora. He lightly puts his hand on her arm and she turns around at him, looks surprised and then her face breaks into a beautiful smile.

"Hello darling," she says and kisses him on the lips. She then proceeds to greet George who seems to be thoroughly excited at seeing his Granny.

"They are a sweet couple," he hears a passerby say and her companion answers "Yes they are. I don't believe anyone who says that their marriage was not a love match." It makes him chuckle and he has to laugh even more when George begins to beg Cora to be allowed to ride in the front and Cora steadfastly refuses.

"It's too dangerous."

"Who says so?"

"I do. And so does your mother."

"But Mr. Stark says," Cora shakes her head, looks at George sternly and says

"It does not matter what Mr. Stark says. If you have a question about where you are allowed to sit in a car and you do not believe your mother or me, then ask Uncle Tom. He knows everything there is to know about cars."

"I asked him. He said it was dangerous."

"That is the end of our discussion then."

George now turns to him and says "Donk, we have to sit in the back. The front is too dangerous."

He knows that Cora's ribs are probably about to crack with laughter and so he picks up their grandson and sits down in the back with him. George cannot sit there by himself anyway, he'd be jumping around and trying to stand on the seats.

"Donk, why does Mummy never talk about Daddy?" George suddenly asks and his very thankful to Cora for having discussed the matter with him a few weeks ago. 'George will start asking questions about Matthew soon,' she said to him one day. 'And he will ask you as Mary will not want to talk about him.' They had then discussed what to say and that makes this conversation a lot easier.

"Your Mummy never talks about your Daddy because it is very painful for her. She still misses him very much."

"Why did he die?" He takes a deep breath and wishes for the millionth time that he had asked Tom to go the hospital and get Matthew.

"He was in a car accident. It wasn't his fault." He isn't sure about this, judging by what the driver of the lorry said, Matthew cannot have been paying attention to the road, but George does not need to know this. Mary does not know this either, in fact he thinks that Cora, he and Tom are probably the only ones who know this.

"It was on the day when I was born."

"Yes. It was a very happy and a very sad day for us."

"It's not fair. Auntie Sybil died when Sybbie was born and Daddy died when I was born."

"No, it isn't fair," he says because he has until this day not been able to come up with a reason that would justify Sybil's or Matthew's death.

"The hall boy said you almost died."

"I was lucky Dr. Clarkson was there." What else is he supposed to a child who has been confronted with death all his life?

"I don't want you to die," George says, scoots over to him and puts his head on Robert's arm and closes his eyes.

He feels a bit like a fool when they reach the Abbey, Cora getting out of the driver's seat and he out of the back carrying their sleeping grandchild. It makes him feel like a useless old fool. He is sure that Cora would not have minded sitting in the back with George and letting him drive but that is just it. 'Let him' would have been the right words. He feels as if he had lost his purpose to live.

Once they are upstairs Cora begins to complain about someone at the hospital in York who apparently called her an 'aristocratic American know-it-all'. He is glad he did not say that because he would not have enjoyed being at the receiving end of Cora's temper explosion.

During dinner he listens to Tom and Mary talk about the estate, and Edith and Cora discussing the newest edition of The Sketch. Apparently it is supposed to focus on working women and Cora offered to find nurses and maybe even a female doctor for interviews. He wonders if anyone will ever write a piece about ancient Earls who have been put to the sideline and it is very hard for him not to wallow in self-pity, especially as the conversation topics do not change in the drawing room.

He decides to go to bed early, something he is sure will make Cora happy because she keeps insisting on him having to rest. For a moment he considers leaving without saying a word but he is sure that Cora would be hurt very much by it and it would be unfair. So he says goodnight, leaves the room and is almost halfway up the stairs when he hears Mary behind him

"Papa wait, please." He turns around and sees a genuine smile on his daughter's face, something that doesn't appear there very often.

"Mary," he says.

"Thank you."

"For what? I haven't done anything useful in weeks." Mary rolls her eyes like this and looks exactly like Cora.

"You've survived what could have been a terminal illness, so don't say you haven't done anything useful."

"So you are thanking me for surviving?"

"Papa," Mary says exasperatedly. "No, I am thanking you for taking George with you today."
"That was no matter. He wanted to come and I didn't see a reason not to take him."

"You talked to him about Matthew."

"He asked and I thought it best to answer. It must be so very hard for you when he asks about Matthew."

Mary gives a short laugh at this and shakes her head.

"He is four years old and he has already learned not to ask me about his Daddy."

"I don't mind talking to him about Matthew. Those things are sometimes easier for the grandparents."

"George loves you. He wants to be like you. He talked of nothing else when I tucked him in tonight."

This gives him a feeling of warmth. His daughters wanted to be like their mother when they were that young and he was very happy about it but it is nice to hear that there is finally a little boy who looks up to him, even if he is ancient and useless.

"He also needs guidance," Mary continues.

"And Tom and you will give it to him."

"We can't. Not when it comes to being an Earl. Mama taught me well, I know how to run a house, I could be a Countess or maybe even a Duchess and you taught me how to run an estate but there are some things that George cannot learn from Tom or me. I am sure that Matthew"

He now sees the tears in his daughter's eyes that have probably been brimming there for a little while and before it actually happens he knows they are about to spill over. So he puts his arms around Mary and she lets her head fall on his shoulder and tries to hide her violent sobs.

"Mary, it sometimes helps to cry," he whispers to her and it opens all the floodgates. He wonders for how long she has been bottling up her sorrows and feels a pang of guilt for having taught her that the English don't show any emotions. He lets his eldest daughter cry and when he sees her mother at the foot of the stairs he makes a motion for her to wait.

"I'll teach George, you don't have to worry about that. He will be ready when the time comes. But it is still some time until that day. I am doing everything your mother says, I should have listened to her months ago. George has a lot of time left to learn how to be an earl and he probably won't have to be one before he is an adult."

Mary nods, mumbles "Thank you, Papa," turns around and walks to her room. He watches her, thinking that one probably never ceases to be a parent and wonders how his mother feels about such things. He sees Cora walking up the stairs then, a smile on her face, her eyes shining with unshed tears. She puts an arm around his waist, kisses his cheek and says

"You are such a good father."

"I've been trying my best for the past 34 years," he says and begins to walk Cora up the rest of the stairs.

"You've been very successful. And don't feel useless. The girls need you, I need you and George needs you too. You will be a very good teacher for him."

"So you approve?" They have now reached Cora's room and he opens the door and walks in first to be able to hold the door for her.

"Of course," Cora says and smiles at him.

He smiles back at her and thinks that he is finally alright again. He has found a new purpose in teaching his grandson and it makes the future so much brighter.

"Don't ring for Bates," Cora says and dims the lights.