A/N: This was originally written for the 2013 Charlie Ficathon on LiveJournal, and the plot bunny was inspired by a thread on the NaNoWriMo forums in November 2011: "How much beef does my dragon need to eat to maintain a virgin-free diet?" I was going to wait for Wednesday, to retrain you all after a long hiatus, but then I realized it's NaNo right now, and I thought, what the heck. Rated mature for a reason (although I have done the oh-so-tactful scene cut) and tipping toward "crack" on the humor scale. This is a three-chapter fic; I'll update the next two Wednesdays.

Also, hiiiii! I miss you guys!

Katie stood on a large rock, closed her eyes, and took a deep breath of clear, fresh mountain air. Looking down over the valley, she felt a surge of excitement at the sight of the small collection of cabins and larger common buildings nestled against the mountainside. In the distance, a thin blue ribbon came from behind the mountain and curved around the camp before disappearing again. The anxiety that plagued her since she had picked up her Portkey was fading. This next month was going to be amazing.

"Katie? Katie Bell?"

Charlie Weasley stood next to the carved wooden sign for The Romanian International Dragon Reserve, and he looked even better than she remembered. His ginger hair was shaggy and a bit long, curling over his ears and collar, his skin was lightly tanned under his freckles, and his muscles positively bulged under plain cotton robes. His eyes were wide with surprise.

Katie jumped off the rock, landing lightly in front of him. "That's me. How are you, Charlie?"

"I thought you were working at Flourish and Blotts."

"I was," she said, picking up her rucksack and slinging it over her shoulder. "I needed a change of pace."

He frowned. "You don't decide to work with dragons on a whim, Katie. This is a dangerous job."

"Giant reptiles who breathe fire and have foot-long claws. I had no idea."

He cracked a smile and Katie's stomach fluttered, just like it had during her first year at Hogwarts when she'd been in awe of the good-looking Gryffindor Seeker.

"All right, then. Let's get you checked in."

Katie had come to the Reserve as one of the first participants in the new Center for Dragon Hatchling Observation and Protection. Due to the seasonal nature of mating, the Reserve only needed additional staff for a few months each year. The Center, or DHOP as the brochures referred to it, was taking fully qualified witches and wizards in one month rotations to assist with observing and documenting the incubation and hatching process. She would have very little contact with the mother dragons, but she was excited to see them in their natural habitat and explore the beautiful Romanian wilderness.

"How is your family?" Katie said.

"Proliferating like rabbits," Charlie said, leading the way between a gap in the evergreens. "Bill and Fleur just announced their third pregnancy, and Percy and Audrey had their first about—I guess Molly's six weeks old now."

"Aww. Do you have any pictures?"

"In my cabin. I'll show them to you."

"Angelina says George is doing well."

Charlie stepped over a cluster of tree roots. "I think so. She's good for him. Doesn't take any flak." He grinned at her over his shoulder, and Katie suppressed the fluttery feeling.

She was here for the dragons, not their keeper.

"That's Angelina," she said. "I saw in the Prophet that Ginny is retiring."

He sighed. "Yeah. She's got the baby bug too, I think. I tried to talk her into staying one more season for an even five, but she said they didn't want to wait a whole other year before trying. It probably didn't help that she was holding baby Molly at the time."

Katie laughed. "No, probably not. Still, she couldn't have ended on a higher note."

"Top of the league, a European championship for England, and MVP three years running."

"Not that you're proud, or anything," Katie teased.

"We were pretty obnoxious at the awards ceremony," he admitted.

She could imagine. The Weasleys had never been shy about family. They had reached the valley floor now, and Charlie headed for the largest building. There was a sign over the door, but it was written in what Katie assumed to be Romanian.

"This is the mess hall," Charlie said, opening the door and waiting for her to walk in ahead of him. "Dormitories in the back and offices along the side. The other large building is the laboratory, where you'll be working most of the time. Come on, I'll introduce you."

()()()()

Katie kept pace with Charlie as they climbed a steep path up the mountain. They had been hiking for about twenty minutes, crossing one end of the valley and winding around the mountain opposite the Reserve before emerging onto a flattened area. The granite rocks which ringed the clearing looked as if they had been arranged deliberately, as if for a giant's campfire. She shook off her memories of the giants at the Final Battle and picked her way through the rubble to the edge of the drop-off. There, about thirty feet below them, was a sleeping dragon with dark green scales and a long, glittering horn between its oddly small ear flaps. Little puffs of smoke rose from its nostrils as it snored.

"Ohhh," she breathed. "He's beautiful."

"A Romanian Longhorn," Charlie said. "He's been here longer than the Reserve."

She shifted, trying to get a closer look, and a small shower of rocks bounced down the cliff. The dragon's ears twitched and his nostrils flared once, then twice. He blinked his eyes open and raised his head, looking directly at them.

"Steady," Charlie murmured. "Don't move."

She couldn't have moved again if she tried. What had been a beautiful, majestic creature was now a fierce predator with blazing black eyes. The Longhorn sat up, stretching his long neck and sniffing the air. He opened his mouth, revealing pointed white teeth (Katie had the absurd thought that they should be yellowed from age), but instead of flame, it was the dragon's pink tongue, as wide as the boulders behind them, that was extending towards her. She felt Charlie's arms close around her and then the suffocating pressure of Apparition.

()()()()

"What the hell is wrong with you!" Charlie shouted.

"With me?" Katie clung to his arms for a moment to steady herself, then pushed off. "What the hell is wrong with that dragon? He just tried to lick me!"

"Katie, haven't you—" Charlie felt his neck and ears growing warm. "Haven't you ever … you know … been with a man?"

She gaped at him, then drew herself up to her full height. "I hardly see how that's any of your business."

"Well, I think it is, considering that dragons eat virgins! We stock the Reserve with deer, some sheep and goats, cattle if we can get them, but there's not a dragon in the world that will eat an animal when a human female virgin is within roasting distance! What the hell were you thinking?"

Her mouth opened and closed helplessly. "I—I—oh, Merlin." Katie covered her face with her hands.

Charlie sighed. "It's a good thing you didn't unpack yet. Come on, I'll explain to Natalis and give you the instructions for Flooing to London."

She dropped her hands. "I don't want to go home!"

"You can't stay here," he said flatly. "That dragon smelled you, he saw you, he damn near tasted you. He'll come hunting."

She paled, bluebell eyes widening. He had Apparated them the short distance to the top of the trail just below the crest of the ridge, and as he turned to go back to camp, Charlie heard her footsteps following behind him. It really was a pity. He had his doubts about DHOP, accepting untrained staff for such a short period of time, but he couldn't deny that he had enjoyed visiting with someone from home and had been looking forward to spending the next few weeks with Katie.

She was cute too. He didn't remember her from Hogwarts; he had been a seventh year and much too busy with Quidditch and N.E.W.T.s to pay attention to the first years, but he had followed the Gryffindor Quidditch team while his siblings were playing. He had seen her name in the sports section, heard Fred and George and Ron talk about her skills as Chaser, and Ginny, especially, had commented how much she enjoyed playing with Katie. Charlie remembered something else he'd seen in the sports section.

"What about Oliver Wood?"

"What about him?"

"Weren't you two going out a few years ago?"

"I am not giving you the details of my dating experience, Charlie."

Six years behind him … that would make her about twenty-four. Twenty-four years old and still a virgin. That was … impressive. Anyone with eyes could see that it was Katie's choice; she must have had loads of wizards who were interested in her. Charlie stole a look at her over his shoulder under the pretense of making sure she was keeping up. She was really cute, with big blue eyes and dark hair cut in a chin-length bob that swung as she moved. She was fit too, climbing up and down the mountains with ease and dodging hanging branches and uneven ground with athletic grace. Not to mention she was friendly, intelligent (well, other than the dragon/virgin fiasco), a Quidditch fan; he sighed again. It really was a shame….

()()()()

"What do you mean, she must go home? She only just arrive!" Natalis Kuczenski, the Head Dragon Keeper, drew his thick eyebrows together in a disapproving line.

Katie's hopes rose. Maybe he would overrule Charlie. After all, she wouldn't be working with the adult dragons directly, just their eggs and hatchlings. Surely that dragon couldn't sniff her out from inside a building.

"The old Longhorn, the one who lives just across the mountain?"

Natalis nodded.

"He tried to lick her."

Natalis turned his frown on Katie. She shifted in her chair.

"You are virgin? No virgins allowed on Reserve. Is rule."

"But I won't be on the Reserve, not really," Katie said. "I'll be working in the laboratory."

Natalis did not look convinced. "Dragons eat virgins. Everyone know this. Too dangerous."

Charlie stood up. "I'll see her out. We're sorry to have bothered you."

"Wait." Natalis raised one hand. "Sit."

Charlie sat.

"You say you know her from before, yes? She go to school with your brothers, yes?"

"Yes, but—"

Natalis leaned back in his chair, his eyebrows back in place. "Problem solved."

Katie glanced at Charlie, but he looked as confused as she felt. "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand."

"Tonight, you stay with Weasley. Tomorrow, you no longer virgin. Problem solved."

Katie and Charlie gaped, both shocked speechless.

Natalis was unfazed. "I will give you day off." He held up two stubby fingers. "Report in two days, yes?"

"That's really not—" Katie began, but stopped when Charlie stepped on her foot.

Natalis fixed her with a business-like stare. "Weasley or England. You choose."

Before she could come up with an appropriate reply, Charlie had pulled her out of her seat. She looked back at Natalis, but he had already picked up the scroll he was reading when they arrived.

"Get your stuff," Charlie said as soon as he closed the office door behind them. He was looking anywhere except at her. "I'll write down the directions to Floo to The Leaky Cauldron. It's about a dozen transfers."

"I don't want to go home."

"Katie," he said, running a hand through his hair and exposing the red tips of his ears, "you can't stay here."

"I'll understand if you want me to go," she said carefully. "But I want to stay."

He was looking at her now.

()()()()

This was a Bad Idea. Charlie knew that. The trouble was, the more he thought about spending the night —and day, and night again—with Katie, the better an idea it seemed. Which just reinforced the fact that this was a Very Bad Idea.

But she was cute, she was definitely of age, and she was apparently willing. The only remaining criteria was—

"Are you seeing anyone?"

"No."

Charlie noticed she didn't ask him the question in return, just watched him steadily with those wide, bluebell eyes.

"I don't know where chivalry plays into this, but you've got daring and nerve, all right."

"Of course it's chivalrous. You're saving me from the big, bad dragon." She batted her eyelashes.

He grinned and jerked his chin in the direction of the dormitories. "Go get your stuff. We'll have dinner at my place."

Katie looked horrified, and for one heart-stopping second, Charlie thought he'd misunderstood.

"I can't stay at your place," she whispered, despite the fact they were the only ones in the corridor. "Everyone will know!"

"Katie, there's a grand total of maybe fifty people here. Everyone knows everything about everybody. Sometimes even before it happens."

Still, she hesitated.

"Do you want to do this in the dormitory?"

"No!"

"Do you want to go home?" Don't chicken out on me now, Gryffindor girl.

She shook her head.

"All right, then. Get your stuff."