A/N: Maxaro: Behold, dear readers, mine and Salter's Magnum Opus. Our guaranteed ticket to a front row seat with Satan himself. From the man who gave you Mine and the guy who wishes to remain anonymous, we bring you the first Jaune x his sisters on this site. Hold on to your buttholes, shit's about to go down!

Salter: Hello readers, things are going to get sinful, and as you'll see much more so in later chapters. Because me and my pal Max are just the worst kind of people and we love to see how far we can lower ourselves in filth. Please enjoy our perverted musings!

There were many words one could use to describe the Arc household; stuffy, loud, sweet, heartwarming, horrifying, and diverse were a few examples. However, no one could ever call it boring. There was always something happening within the walls of the big two-story building. Whether these happenings were fun distractions or signs that there truly was no benevolent being watching over the world was all a matter of perspective. It was kind of difficult for a home housing eight hormonal teenagers, an elite hunter, the strongest willed mother in all of creation, and what had to be the oddest gene-pool ever found by man to be calm, after all.

Tobias and Clair Arc's house of horror, or happiness, once again depending one one's perspective, had almost become a landmark to the town of Ville, but it wasn't really the house itself that was so well known. That honor belonged to the daughters and son of Tobias and Clair.

Jaune Arc, Merron Arc, Rose Arc, Verte Arc, Rouge Arc, Noir Arc, Blanc Arc, and Violet Arc.

Rose Arc, the youngest of the siblings at a tender age of twelve, was seen by most as the most innocent being ever to bless the earth, though, anyone who had gotten between her and her beloved popsicles would more than likely tell a different tale. A tale about a daemon born from the very pits of Tartarus hiding within the visage of a small, pink haired, adorable little girl.

Merron Arc was the second youngest of the siblings at the age of thirteen, only two minutes younger than her twin brother Jaune. She was a generally sweet girl with medium brown hair seemingly done up in a permanent ponytail. To most of the town, though, she was only "the twin", not because she wasn't "special" like her sisters, but because she was actually quite secretive for someone from such a big family. No one really knew much about her.

Verte Arc was the fourth youngest of the Arc siblings and the third youngest of the sisters. She was a shy girl that mostly tried to keep to herself. Actually, of the sisters, the fourteen year old was the most developed, puberty had not only come early for her, but it had also been very generous. For most of the younger males in the town she was the girl, and they vocalized this quite often, much to the embarrassment of Verte herself and the chagrin of her brother, a brother everyone with any form of sensory input could see meant the world and the stars to Verte. Some even suspected that the shy girl was legitimately in love with her brother, though when asked about it the girl would only blush furiously and keep quiet.

Noir Arc, or as the populace sometimes called her; The empress of black, was the middle child of the Arc family... unless one counted her brother, then both she and Verte were the middle child. The fifteen year old girl was as dark as the shadows themselves... or that was how she described herself. In reality Noir was a fairly goofy girl, around her brother at least, around most other people she was a pretty ordinary, if slightly distant, girl with a penchant for rock music and dark clothing. However, if one were to somehow mess with any of her siblings, her brother especially, then the best course of action was to run very, very quickly in the opposite direction unless one wanted to be turned into a pile of broken bones and shattered pride.

Rouge Arc... the bane of Ville... the unholy offspring of chaos itself... harbinger of the end times... she had had many names throughout the ages, many different incarnations, but one thing remained consistent in every myth describing her; she was always a sixteen year old girl with long, crimson hair reaching down to her behind. Legends foretold of her return after being sealed away within the very moon itself, but no one believed them... a foolish mistake. Her name was Rouge, and she had returned to wreak vengeance upon Remnant, starting with the town of Ville... said task had begun proving itself difficult, however, since her mother had started taking away any and all sources of entertainment whenever they got a complaint.

Blanc Arc was the second oldest of the Arc siblings with seventeen years on her belt. She was a distant young woman that never seemed to show any emotion other than melancholy, or tried to at least. Because of a reason even her parents seemed unable to comprehend Blanc had tried her hardest to become emotionless ever since her fourteenth birthday, it was going horrendously so far since she could never stop herself from laughing at Rose' or Jaune's antics or becoming angry at whenever her homework decided to exist.

Violet Arc, the oldest of the Arc children, and a nineteen year old prodigy... in behavioral psychology. To the town she was a vexing person, her friends said she was one of the most open people they had ever met and that she could speak for hours about anything that caught her fancy, but to most people she was an anti-social but brilliant girl. No one outside the Arc household knew why this was, how she could be two so very different people depending on who she was with, but anytime the subject was brought up to either Tobias or Clair they would simply sigh and say that it wasn't something Violet wanted to be known publicly.

Finally there was the only male child of the Arcs; Jaune Arc, the awkward goofball that no one could stay mad at, or say no to. He was just such a nice little man who wouldn't even hurt a fly... unless you were what he considered mean to anyone in his family, then he would try to kick your teeth in. Key word being try. The thirteen year old boy was by no means a good fighter, when he attacked someone for catcalling Verte for example he would more often than not end up in a beaten heap, but the kid sure as hell never backed down. He would throw himself at his "enemy" again and again, not caring how many hits he took, all he seemed to focus on was making whoever dared "attack" his family pay. But to most of the people in Ville he was just that cute little kid with the seven sisters.

The Arc household was truly a crazy place.

XXX

On a normal day, Jaune Arc would take his time walking home from school. It wasn't that he didn't enjoy being there, he just liked slowing things down once in awhile, take some time to just let his mind wander with no distractions aside from maybe birbs chirping. Today was no normal day though. Jaune was running as fast as his legs could carry him.

'Why?' one may ask. The answer was quite simple; he had found the love of his life.

Her name was Amour Intértét, though he wouldn't find out about that until much later, and she had just started in his class. She had dark brown hair that went down to her shoulders and the most beautiful green eyes he had ever seen. One look at her and Jaune knew that he was completely in love. But what happened after she had introduced herself was what made him sure she was the only one for him; she had sat down at the desk next to his and picked up a limited edition X-Ray and Vav pencil case... he had almost fainted on the spot.

So now he was sprinting home. He wanted to tell his parents about this perfect girl as soon as possible so they could help him with making her fall in love with him too.

Jaune slammed open the door to the house, but came to a screeching halt not a moment later. He had been so excited about finding the love of his life he had forgotten one small but very important detail; his parents would never be able to keep quiet about his future wife…

He put his hand up to his chin in thought; he needed to be clever about this. With a snap of his fingers he found the answer. There was always someone he could go to who would keep quiet about almost everything. Never would he be sold out by his big sissy Noir.

Whistling in the most inconspicuous and normal way possible Jaune made his upstairs, ignoring the weird looks he got from both his parents when he had passed by the kitchen.

Noir was laying in her bed reading a comic-book when Jaune got into the room, and when she noticed who it was that had just entered the room she smiled at him. Verte was there as well, sitting on his bed with his pillow pressed against her chest.

Verte didn't seem to notice him at first, which was odd, Verte was very nearly always the first to notice him every time. Noir placed the comic aside and lifted herself up on her elbows.

"Hey little bro." She said with a happy grin. The smile she gave him was one of the most calming things to Jaune. It always had always been. He relaxed slightly and felt that it would be easy to tell her.

"Hey big sis, um... can I talk to you?"

Verte lifted her head up nearly at the speed of sound as their interaction brought her back to the realm of the living. She blushed when she noticed Jaune was in the room.

"Sure thing," Noir said as she sat up fully in her bed, "Verte, would you be so kind as to exit the area? Me and Jaune need to have some time to talk, one awesome person to another." Noir continued as she turned to look at Verte. The look of disappointment on the green haired girl's face, though, made her quickly add "It will just take a second, then we can all go and kick Ms Psychopath's butt in some Silver-Eye."

Verte merely nodded, not really looking as happy as she should in Jaune's opinion. He looked at Noir with hesitancy as Verte shut the door. He felt it should be easy, but being in the moment as he was then, perhaps, he felt, it wouldn't be. He cleared his throat and opened it to speak. He didn't.

Noir stared at Jaune's goldfish imitation for a moment before she chuckled and jumped down from her bed, sitting down on Jaune's bed instead, and patted the seat next to her.

"Get over here, you big doofus." Jaune made no effort to protest, swiftly sitting down next to Noir and leaning into her as she draped her arm over his shoulders. "Now, let's try that again: What was it you wanted to talk about?"

"U-u-um..." and there were the stutters. "I-I n-n-need some advice..." Noir raised her eyebrows.

"What kind of advice?" She asked, smiling deviously and rather suspiciously. Jaune flushed and leaned back away from her as best he could given their current position.

"G-g-g-girl advice?" She suddenly pulled away from him, her face going expressionless.

"What? Who is it? Is it that red-head who's in all those AP Courses?" Noir's tone was emotionless, almost cold to his ears.

"Umm... n-no, s-she started in our c-c-class today a-and... u-um... s-she likes X-Ray and Vav and she's r-really pretty a-and I..." Jaune tried to look anywhere but at Noir, whose eyes were becoming darker and darker with every word he spoke. "Are you okay, big sis?" He asked carefully.

She didn't respond. She was much too busy in her head, thinking of ways she could potentially get away with murder.

"N-noir?" Still, only silence. "B-b-big sissy?" The innocence finally got to her, her expression turned soft, and her voice softer.

"Sorry Jaune, what's her name?" Jaune got the impression she really didn't want to know.

He opened his mouth to answer, but he was drawing a complete blank. Noir's face became hopeful for a second, before she blanked her features once again, though not as harshly.

"You don't know what her name is?" Jaune could only shake his head in response. Noir sighed, almost sounding relieved, "You're an idiot, you know that, right?" Nod. "The love of your life," Noir tried her hardest to keep the venom out of her voice, "And you don't even know her name..."

"I..." he slipped into silence every time he tried to speak, and Noir did her best to keep a level head. Who was this girl and why did Jaune see anything in her at all? If he didn't even remember her name then why did he even come to her for advice in the first place?

She took a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth. She knew Jaune was emotionally susceptible sometimes. He felt things too easily. He felt sadness, anger, and a whole slew of other things easier than most, and he was at an age where first sight crushes were commonplace, so of course she should have expected this would happen.

Steeling himself, Jaune spoke up again, "I wanted to ask you for advice in how to not look like such an idiot in front of her..." Noir gritted her teeth at his words, she didn't want any random floosy from school to come and steal away her best friend.

"A-and I also w-wanted to a-ask you for h-help w-with... k-k-kissing..." Jaune added quietly.

A lightbulb dinged above Noir's head at that, and she began plotting immediately, something she was really good at. If Jaune perhaps kissed someone else other than that chick at school than maybe he would see that there were better girls out there for him. Like her.

… where did that come from?

Putting away the thought for later introspection, or in other words; completely ignoring it, Noir turned to look at the furiously blushing Jaune beside her. When he eventually looked at her, she smiled coyly.

"Oh really? What did you have in mind, Jaune?" Her voice was dripping with suggestiveness.

Jaune couldn't exactly answer, suddenly lost in his mind with thoughts of kissing Whatshername.

Noir, subconsciously, found herself moving the tiniest bit closer to him, and her eyes flicked between his eyes and his lips. His... extremely soft looking lips. How amazing would they feel against hers?

Outside the door, peeping through the keyhole, Verte sat shaking in distress. Fear, anger, jealousy, sadness, and saltiness all raged within her head. Had she heard right? Was Jaune in love with someone? And had Noir just suggested what she thought she suggested? Part of her wanted to kick the door down then and there and... do something with Jaune!

'Damn these confusing feelings!' She thought angrily.

Verte had been feeling them for not too long now, a few months at most, but despite how much she hated feeling them, they were a source of comfort. Hence why she was still hugging Jaune's pillow like her life depended on it at that moment.

She held herself back, though. She didn't want to interrupt, Jaune looked so confused and she knew the only one who could help was Noir, despite how much she disliked that thought. Her brother was so important to her, she didn't want him to feel confused.

Back in the room, Noir made her way closer and closer to Jaune's face. When there was less than two inches left between them, she stopped.

"Jaune... I can show you how to kiss... if you really want to..." Noir's unusually soft voice made Jaune snap out of his Dream about Whatshername and made him turn to face her, not really noticing the distance between them as much as the look in Noir's eyes and the feeling of her breath on his face.

"O-okay..." he said absentmindedly, barely making out Noir's lips forming into a big smile before they touched his.

There was a loud thump against the door, but the both of them ignored it in favor of enjoying each other's lips. It was short and somewhat chaste, but as soon as it was over Noir pulled him back and deepened it. There was a chill that traveled down Jaune's spine, and Noir felt a similar feeling. Fireworks, sparks, all the good signs when kissing.

Noir couldn't care less about Jaune's inexperience, to her, the feeling of his lips on hers was the most wonderful sensation ever. She broke the kiss only momentarily, letting both of them take a breath, before she pulled him in close again.

"Jaune... put your hands on my hips..." she said, her voice low and husky.

"W-what...?" Jaune asked, still a little stunned from the kiss.

"Just do it... please..." as soon as the magic word left Noir's lips Jaune's brotherly instincts kicked in. His hands landed on her hips and she pulled him in for yet another fantastic kiss.

Jaune didn't exactly know what to do with his hands now, he was playing it all by Noir's facial expressions and the sounds she was making, which were all pretty much music to his ears. Never once did it cross his mind that maybe they shouldn't be doing this. It felt much too good to be wrong.

He slowly grasped at the hem of her shirt and instinctively hitched it up so he could feel her bare skin. Noir moaned into the kiss as his fingers made contact. Just the tiniest touch made her feel like she was on cloud nine.

The sound of Noir moaning made Jaune's entire body tingle, but one place in particular tingled more than the others. Sometime during the kiss their legs had become intertwined, Noir's knee resting on Jaune's inner thigh, so when she felt something rub against it she gasped into the kiss.

She blushed for the first time during the whole exchange and tensed up. There was something about feeling the effects of their make out session on Jaune that made her break away from the passion. She broke the kiss and backed away from him finally, before clearing her throat.

"A-and that is how you kiss, Jaune..."

Jaune could only nod, dazed from the kiss, though a part of him was annoyed that it ended so abruptly. Noir could feel the redness of her cheeks and the hammering of her heart. She wasn't the most elusive kisser ever, but she knew a normal kiss didn't usually feel so good.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door, Verte could basically feel her heart breaking. First it was Whatsername and now Noir? She had never before felt so threatened in a non physical way. Her hand came to cover her mouth as she held back a sob, tears building in her eyes. She just wanted to curl up on the floor and cry... or that was what she wanted at first, but then she felt her chest tighten.

Jaune never backed down from a fight, no matter how hopeless it was he always fought on, so what kind of sister would she be if she just gave up at the first setback? If she wanted Jaune's heart she would have to prove to him just how amazing she was too. With renewed resolve, Verte wiped away her tears and stood up, determined to find a way to get Jaune for herself.

She walked into the bathroom and shut the door, locking it so nobody would interrupt her as she began thinking of her plan. And that was when she realized that thinking of a plan was too hard and that she didn't want to go through the effort of actually doing that. She looked into the mirror and one thing caught her eye.

Boobs.

She had boobs. She was a girl. Jaune was a boy. Boys liked boobs, though she never understood why, they were just lumps of flesh on her chest, but that was a fact.

'There may be a way,' she thought, 'to gain the upper hand.'

Verte's shadow seemed to grow behind her, spikes protruding from its arms, horns emerging from the head of it, and her eyes were glinting with evil. She threw her head back and laughed maniacally, happy for the soundproofing the bathroom had gotten after Jaune had started singing in the shower.

On the couch in the living room, Rouge felt happy. There was evil and malice in the air, she noted with a smile.

A/N: We have chapters 1-5 written, they just need some editing, so expect a chapter 2 soon, if you want one...