A/N: I am Grey's Anatomy trash and I acknowledge that. I had seen somebody post on tumblr about wanting Finn to come back to see that Derek didn't hurt Meredith again and so I wrote a one-shot based off of that idea, set in early Season 6 after the liver transplant.
Disclaimer: None of the characters, settings, or devices are mine. I simply changed a little detail. Everything is property of Shonda Rhimes and ABC. This is none profit.
Before Meredith and Derek officially became "Meredith and Derek" through a post-it and promises, there were a lot of choices. There were pleas to choose. Pick me. Choose Me. There were damages from those choices and wounds that took so much time to heal. Despite always loving someone the wrong choices were made. I've been in love you with you forever. I had a choice to make. I chose wrong. But when all was said and done they found each other.
"He's the one."
"And I wish he wasn't."
"He's going to hurt you again. And when he does, I won't be here. Take care of yourself Meredith."
Beeping pulled Meredith away from the patient charts she was reading. She glanced down at her pager to see a 911 calling her to the pit for an incoming trauma. Gathering her paperwork in her arms, Meredith began hurrying towards the emergency room. On her way she stopped at the nurses' station, thanking Nurse Debbie, as she dropped off a pile of charts hazardously. It was just after two o'clock in the afternoon and Meredith's spirits were high. Before she had settled down for charting she had eaten a standard and only slightly nauseating hospital food lunch with her sister, her person, and her husband. Just thinking the word husband still made her giddy and dark-and-twisted Meredith was rarely a giddy person. The radiating joy Meredith was feeling since her post-it wedding stayed with her as she pushed through the doors of the pit. Gowning herself she hurried to the emergency bay to prepare for the ambulance arrival.
Just as Meredith reached the doors the EMTs rushed in with a patient moaning in pain on the gurney. Interns flanked the sides of the EMTs almost immediately hoping to get a chance at a surgery "39 year old male, canine bites to neck, large bite wound to left forearm, possible broken hand. Stats are stable but bleeding has yet to be controlled."
"Let's take him into trauma 3." Meredith ordered, as she hurried towards the location, "Dr. Mostow page ortho for a consult, there might be bone damage depending on the depth of the wounds and we need to have that hand looked at. And page plastics as well, I'd be shocked if that arm doesn't need a skin graft to fill in all that missing flesh." Once the EMTs cleared out of the trauma room Meredith walked up to the patient, she did not look down at his face as she looked down at his chart, "Sir, I understand you must be in pain right now but before we can give you any medication I'm going to need to know your name and if you have any allergies that we need to be aware of." If the patient's injuries had been greater Meredith would not have waited on the pain meds but because interns were already tending to the large open wound on his arm and the series of bites on his neck, Meredith was secure in her decision to ask before implementing. It was rare that a trauma came in that was mild enough for the resident to ask questions before diving into treatment.
"I'm not allergic to anything," The patient winced as an intern disinfected the remaining flesh on his arm, "My name's," he groaned in pain as an orthopedic resident inspected his injured hand, "Finn. Finn Dandridge." Meredith nearly dropped her clipboard as her head shot up. Her giddiness from earlier was gone in an instant.
For the third time, Meredith adjusted her white coat and then her scrub top. She was holding Finn's patient chart in her left hand and standing next to the nurses' station that was directly outside of his room. Finn Dandridge's room. Finn Dandridge's room in the hospital. Where he was a patient. Her ex-boyfriend's room in the hospital where she worked and she happened to be his doctor. It had been four years since the last time she had seen Finn and they had not parted on the greatest of notes. Now she was about to enter his room, as his doctor, and tell him that she would assist in a surgery in which chunks of his missing flesh were removed. She knew she was stalling, which was why she kept adjusting her clothing, but her gut instinct was to run in the opposite direction of his room. In that moment Meredith could not remember giddy Meredith from earlier, they were not the same person. Standing outside room 4435 Meredith Grey was one hundred percent dark-and-twisty
Attempting to buy as much extra time, Meredith leafed through Finn's patient chart. Her eyes darted to emergency contact and next of kin. The space was left blank which usually means two things. Either he has no one or he has someone and he does not want to worry them with a call from the hospital. Shifting her weight from foot to foot Meredith tried to process what was about to happen. Overall she did not have much experience with ex-boyfriends. She had only had two serious relationships through the extent of her adult life. Both of them were ex-boyfriends at one point. One of them was lying in the patient bed in the room she was terrified to enter. Her other ex-boyfriend had a different title now. He was her new husband.
In her head Meredith kept repeating the words "now or never" as she tried to bring herself to walk towards his door. Taking a deep breath she tried to will herself forward when two arms wrapped themselves around her. Leaning back against the tall frame behind her Meredith looked up smiling at her husband. She brought her hands up to clutch his forearm and matched his breathing.
"Hi." Derek said with a smile, looking down at her.
"Hi." Meredith felt her giddiness return, "What are you doing here? I thought you had a surgery you were trying to plan out?" She turned around to look at him, leaning against the nurses' station counter but keeping her hands holding his arms, the physical contact was comforting.
Still smiling Derek said, "Well I was working on planning a difficult surgery until I got a page from the fourth floor nurses' station. It said something about my wife standing there so long that she was beginning to grow roots and that if I didn't come soon she might become a permanent fixture to the spot."
Meredith snorted and leaned her head forward so her forehead rested on Derek's chest for a moment, "I'm going to kill whoever sent you that page."
"That would be your sister."
"Then I wouldn't feel guilty at all. I gave up part of my liver for her so her sacrificing her life over a page sounds even to me."
Derek released a deep chuckle at his wife's cynicism before he switched the conversation to a more serious topic. Concern filling his voice he said, "But seriously, is there a reason you've been out here for nearly thirty minutes re-reading a single chart? Should I be worried?"
Meredith shrugged, "It's nothing," When Derek gave her a pointed look she sighed, "Okay so it is something but it's not something to be worried about."
"Must I remind you we're married?" Trying to lighten the mood a little, he swung her back and forth in his arms with each word, "What's yours is mine, what's mine is yours, dark-and-twisty problems are included in this agreement."
"How do you know it's a dark-and-twisty problem?"
"It's you."
Meredith laughed wholeheartedly at this and wrapped her arms around Derek's shoulders. He immediately pulled her into a tight embrace, happy to just hold her for a minute before prying for more information. She sighed as she buried her face in his shoulder and mumbled something incoherent. Knowing his wife, Derek assumed whatever she said was her explanation for her statuesque position beside the nurses station. He waited a moment before asking her to explain again, preferably in a way that what she said he can actually hear.
"Finn's my patient."
"Finn who?" Derek asked. It had been a while since they had last seen Finn but Meredith was surprised by Derek not immediately recognizing who she was talking about.
"Dating Finn. Vet Finn. That Finn." Meredith said.
"Oh, that Finn."
"Yeah."
The on call room was dark despite the time of day with the blinds drawn shut and the lights off. The only two people in the room were Meredith and Derek. He was leaning against the wall and she was leaning against him, her head on his shoulder. They had been sitting in silence for the past few minutes after Meredith had finished telling Derek about having Finn as her patient. He had made the executive decision that the privacy or an on call room was better for their conversation than ten feet away from the room of the patient whom they were discussing. Derek slowly rubbed the stress out of Meredith's shoulders with the arm he had wrapped around her. He sighed and looked at her, "It's time." He said.
"Yeah, I guess it is." Meredith started walking to the door before turned on her heels to face Derek, "You know, the last time I had this awkward a relationship with a patient it was my unknown half-sister." She raised her eyebrows and smirked as she joked at how absurd her life often seemed, "At least this will be easier." Before Derek could respond Meredith was walking out of the room with purpose, towards her patient.
Meredith walked past the nurses' station; she grabbed Finn's chart and her interns who were waiting for her to begin rounds. The first patient she had to visit was Finn and she confidently walked towards his room despite the nervous churning in her stomach.
"Who's presenting?" Meredith asked as she entered the room. She kept her eyes down looking at the chart in her hands. She heard the intake of breathe from the patient bed and assumed it was Finn realizing who his doctor was. Meredith's instincts told her that he was staring at her; she could nearly feel holes being drilled into her head by him. As her intern began reciting the information from the patient chart at the foot of Finn's bed, Meredith slowly raised her gaze. Her eyes locked with Finn. It was the first time since he arrived at the hospital that Meredith really allowed herself to look at him. Despite the bandages on his neck, he looked good. The past four years had treated him well, his beard was a little fuller than it had been last time she saw him and his hair was trimmed shorter. Meredith studied him, attempting to discern if he looked happy. It was then that she realized her interns were looking at her, waiting for confirmation on a treatment plan. "Oh, yes!" She had forgotten that she had something to actually do, "Mr. Dandridge, we will be taking you into surgery later today for a skin graft on your arm wound and to install a metal fixture in your hand to prevent further damage to your broken knuckles. Dr. Mostow will be doing your pre-op and assist in surgery. The other Drs in your surgery will be Dr. Torres from orthopedic surgery to repair your hand, Dr. Sloan from plastics for the skin graft, and myself." As Meredith spoke she forced her eyes down again, uncomfortable actually addressing him.
It was then that Meredith got a page asking for her interns in the pit for an incoming trauma. Sighing she told all of her interns besides Mostow to go to the emergency room, the remaining intern was to begin pre-op for Finn. As her interns filed out of the patient room Meredith began following them, only to be stopped by Finn calling her name.
"Dr. Mostow, why don't you go file these charts before beginning pre-op." Meredith said to her intern as she handed him the charts in her arms, "I'll page you when you should come back." She led him to the door, closing it behind it. Once it was shut, Meredith spun around and leaned against the door and looked at Finn.
"Were you not planning on even saying hi?" Finn asked.
Meredith shrugged and walked a little further into the room, "Oh you know me, always running and avoiding."
Finn smiled at her comment, "Four years is a lot of time, I figured that something could have changed." He studied her for a moment, "It does seem like something has changed. You look good. You look happy, even happier than you were when you were on morphine."
"I am. Happy that is. I'm not on morphine." Meredith laughed nervously and twirled a piece of her hair, "You look good yourself. How's business?"
"Not to hot right now seeing as one of my patients sent me to the hospital," Finn said, "I bet patients viciously biting you isn't something you have to worry about as a human doctor."
"Not usually." Meredith responded. The conversation fell at her short response and an awkward silence filled the room.
"How are you?" Finn asked.
"I've taken care of myself." Meredith responded, remembering his last words to her.
Finn said, "I don't see a ring. I would have assumed...unless he hurt you again."
"Actually," Meredith began to reply when there was a knock at the door. Turning around Meredith saw the door open to reveal a very nervous Dr. Mostow. The intern was an intuitive person and sensed the awkwardness in the air. He apologized for interrupting but then told Meredith that her husband needed her. Finn made a surprised noise and sat up in bed. Thanking her intern, Meredith asked him to begin pre-op as she went to see what Derek needed. She was assuming her sent Dr. Mostow to rescue her from the awkward talk with the ex and Meredith made a mental note to thank him later.
"Wait," Finn called. Meredith spun around to look at him, "You should come back, after your shift. We could catch up?" He finished his request as a question, hoping Meredith would agree.
She said, "I'll see you after surgery, Finn."
Finn was slowly waking up from the anesthesia, his body felt heavy, especially his damaged arm. As his eyes fluttered open he heard a soft knock at the door. He mumbled for them to come in, hoping it sounded stronger than he was. His vision was blurry when he first opened his eyes but as everything came into focus he saw Meredith standing in the doorway, out of scrubs and in street clothing. Behind her was Derek in jeans and a sweater like he always was before, his hands were holding both of hers.
"I just wanted to see how you were doing before we went home for the night." Meredith said.
Finn's words were broken from the dryness of his throat, "Meredith." She did not respond, just stared at him as she waited for him to say more, "Did you make the right choice?" He whispered his question.
A small smile creeped on Meredith's lips and she leaned against Derek behind her, "Yeah, I did."
"Good." Finn said. Meredith nodded, understanding, and with Derek she left. Once the door was closed Finn sunk into bed. Finn's eyes fluttered closed and he began to fall asleep again. He was alone, not only in his room but in his life. Since she told him he did not have to, Finn had not made any more plans. There had not been anyone who he felt like he could make plans with but he thought now, maybe it was because part of him was always hoping she would come back to him. He had thought he knew Derek Shepherd and was sure that he would hurt her and she would realize she made the wrong choice. But apparently she had not because Derek and Meredith had always been about choices.