A/N: Here's another quick Creek oneshot! Takes place when the lads are in high school. Enjoy!

Unexpected

"So there she was, bent over and pointing her sweet ass right at my direction. It was totally intentional."

"Clyde, shut the fuck up. No it wasn't," Craig said, voice dripping with disdain.

"It was too!" Clyde argued, turning towards his darker haired friend. The brunette was gloating about a girl he had seen in Fairplay over the weekend and it was unfortunately the only story anyone at the lunch table had from over the weekend.

"Ngh! Can we *please* go one lunch hour without Clyde talking about asses?!" Tweek cried across the table from his two friends. "I'm starting to have nightmares about asses at night!"

Token stifled a laugh.

"You can't be serious," Craig said flatly.

"Dude!" Clyde cried through laughs, banging the lunch table with his fist. "That is hilarious."

"Augh!" Tweek yelped, spilling the coffee in his takeaway cup clutched in his hands. "It isn't funny! They end up suffocating me in my dreams and I wake up panting!"

Token was now doubled over with laughter as well, and Craig bopped him and Clyde in the heads with his balled-up fists.

"Ow!" Clyde complained. "Why can't you ever let us have a laugh at Tweek's expense, Craig?" he asked, rubbing the side of his head.

Craig shrugged and took a bite of his mac'n'cheese. "Just reflex, I guess."

Craig was known around the high school for defending the skittish blonde in all kinds of scenarios. The thing Craig didn't understand was why Tweek didn't stand up for himself when the situations arose. He knew he still trained trained at Jimbo's boxing ring every Wednesday and Sunday night, but everybody poked fun and provoked him anyways because they thought his twitches and minor freak-outs were funny.

It drove Craig nuts, he hated bullshit in general and it plagued Tweek wherever he went.

"Damn, I got coffee on my favorite shirt!" Tweek groaned, dabbing at his charcoal-colored linen shirt. Two buttons were missing and it was obviously well worn. Craig propped his elbow onto the lunch table and watched the distressed boy through lowered eyelids, resting his head on his fist.

"Man, you've had that shirt for years now, Tweek," Token said from Tweek's left side, also watching the bony blonde groom himself. "You should just throw that thing away."

"Ngh! No way! It was- u-uh..." Tweek began explaining, glancing over at Craig before looking down at the table.

Craig blinked and looked over at Token, and then Clyde. Craig had gotten Tweek that shirt for his fourteenth birthday years ago. Apparently he and Tweek were the only ones who remembered, as the other two boys simply stared at Tweek expectantly.

"Well?" Clyde asked, raising an eyebrow.

Tweek twitched and tugged at a lock of blonde hair. "It's m-my most comfortable shirt, I can't just throw it away!" he explained, still looking at the table.

"Tell you what," Token said, patting his shaking friend on the back. "How about we all go to the mall after school and- hey!" he said, after being shoved by a larger student.

The four friends looked up at two guys from the football team looming over them.

"You homos going on a shopping spree today?" antagonized the tallest one. "Why don't you give ol' skin and bones here a makeover while you're at it?" he said, shoving Tweek with his hand.

Tweek spilled more of his coffee onto the lunch table. "Argh!"

Craig took a deep breath and began standing up. "Why the fuck do you two have to start shit for no reason all the time?" he asked, settling into bodyguard mode. Seems he was gonna get yet another detention for a fistfight during lunch this week. So much for going shopping after school.

"What, you're gonna defend your boyfriend yet again, asshole?" the shorter one sneered.

Token and Clyde watched with helpless expressions on their faces, leaning away from the scene. Things could sometimes get ugly when Craig got into fights, it's something they had learned to live with from hanging out together. He'd get especially angry when bullies made things personal though, which included anything insulting being said about Craig's family, his guinea pig Stripe, or Tweek.

"You should really stop pissing me off," Craig said lowly. "I'm sure you don't want to go around school with a black eye for the rest of the week."

The shorter bully gulped but didn't lose face. "What are you gonna do about it, wuss? There's two of us and only one of y-"

POW

Tweek was standing, and the bully had fallen over backwards into a table, sending lunch trays clattering over the floor in his wake. Everyone in a five foot radius stared wide-eyed at Tweek.

Craig blinked, fist raised at nothing. Had Tweek taken that guy out? He had barely noticed the lanky blonde standing up.

"You motherfucker!" the taller bully shouted, lunging towards Tweek.

Tweek's eyes flashed angrily and he swiveled around to the larger bully. The bully took a swing at Tweek's head, but the leaner boy ducked with a swiftness no one was used to seeing in Tweek, and he landed an uppercut into the bully's jaw.

"Shi-!" the bully started, before flying backwards into a screaming girl.

Tweek unclenched his fist and swallowed, stepping backwards. All eyes were on him and he slowly regained awareness of where he was. His eyes darted around nervously and he grimaced- he hated attention.

"Tucker!" shouted a passing teacher. Tweek and Craig both looked over at the teacher, standing with hands at her hips, next to the lunch table.

Clyde, gawking stupidly at his blonde friend, shifted his gaze over to the teacher too, as did a very shocked-looking Token.

The two bullies had rolled away from the places they had fallen and were retreating, clutching their wounds as they went. They snickered and flipped Craig off, who responded by flipping them off as well.

"Eyes over here, Tucker!" the teacher shouted, looking a bit confused. She was usually the one who caught Craig in fights and had to escort him away to the principal's office. "Do you mind explaining what's going on here?"

"Ngh- Craig didn't do anything wrong!" explained Tweek, rubbing his fist.

"He never does anything wrong..." mumbled Clyde, who was one of few people who knew that Craig never instigated fights.

"I find that hard to believe," the teacher accused, looking between Tweek and Craig repeatedly, obviously confused.

Craig, still speechless, looked over at Tweek and grinned. He knew he had it in him.

Tweek smiled meekly back.

"Alright, if neither of you will do any talking, you're coming to the principal's office! Right now!" she yelled, motioning for Craig and Tweek to follow her.

The two boys followed the teacher, Craig slinging an arm around Tweek. "You looked badass," he gushed, as the two exited the lunchroom, the eyes of everyone in the crowd following them. Excited whispers started erupting throughout the room as people began milling about again.

"Well, that was... different," Token said, once the boys had been escorted away.

"No kidding," Clyde agreed, lifting his PB&J sandwich from his lunch tray. "Apparently bringing up Tweek's secret boyfriend is a surefire way to get him riled up," he said, grinning.

"Keep your voice down!" Token hissed. "Unless you want to be Tweek's next victim." The two of them smiled.