The Riajuu Lifestyle was more Complicated than I Expected

BoringBone

...

We had P.E. after lunch which I was excused from on account of my recent injuries. Rather than have me laze around on the bleachers while watching my classmates run laps, I was given an early dismissal with instructions from the school nurse to head home and rest.

I had a few hours to spare so I sent Komachi a text telling her that I'd pick her up. Even though she was in the middle of class, she replied almost instantaneously. Okay, Onii-chan~, it read, along with some heart emoticons. I quickly pocketed my phone in fear of someone seeing it and thinking I was some sort of depraved sis-con.

The bus stop was a considerable distance from Komachi's school, but I had time to spare so I walked at a leisurely pace. I arrived just in time to hear the school bell ringing. As if on cue Komachi came running to me with her arms stretched outwards. "Onii-chan," she cried.

I caught her in my arms and contemplated twirling her around but I restrained myself since we were in a public place. I lowered her and said, "You're the first one out."

"Last one to arrive, first one to leave, that's Hikigaya Komachi."

"You're a disgrace to the family name."

"Geez, look at the hero acting like a hotshot. How was your first day of school, did you meet a lot of people?"

I noticed she restrained herself from saying 'did you make any friends?'

"I had lunch with some people," I said.

"That's great, tell me about it."

I started walking and she followed me. We were siblings so we were familiar with each other's pace. We walked side-by-side.

"Exhausting."

"I figured."

"Am I really that predictable?"

"You're like an NPC character. There's an alghorhytym in your actions."

"I think you meant to say algorithm."

"Whatever. I just learned that word today, okay?"

She pouted and looked away with a huff.

"Next time, check with me before you use a new word in conversation," I said.

"I already used it with my friends. They all giggled and looked at me funny. Now I know why."

"Komachi..."

"Relax. I'm not like you. I can say the dumbest things with no repercushions."

"Repercussions. And what makes you so sure of yourself?"

She stepped ahead, twirled, and winked.

"I can get away with anything 'coz I'm cute!"

I sighed. Even if she meant it as a joke, there was a profound truth in her statement.

"By the way, Onii-chan?"

"Hm?"

"Did you suddenly get popular all of a sudden?"

"What are you on about now?"

"Well, how do I say this, I noticed it a while ago but there's a girl following us right now, or more like I think she's following you."

"Are you mocking me?"

"No, I'm serious."

"Are you sure she's following me and not you? Maybe she's one of your friends."

"I don't know her and I'm pretty sure she's following us and not anyone else. So by process of elimination, that means she's following you."

"Oh, you actually got elimination right."

"It's because of that detective drama I'm watching recently. The main character always solves his cases using the 'process of elimination'."

"Of course it's something like that."

She knocked herself on the head gently with a balled up fist. "Tee-hee!"

"So this girl, where is she right now?"

"I lost track of her but she should be around."

I observed my surroundings. We were in a housing district near the school. I was originally wary of having Komachi study in that school since a lot of the students there already knew each other and grew up together in this housing district. That means the cliques were already solidified from childhood, leaving no room for newcomers. But my worries were unfounded as Komachi's cuteness and bubbly personality prevailed and earned her a group of friends in no time. She already invited some of those friends over during the first weeks of school, just a day after I was released from the hospital. One of them recognized me from the video and I had to play the part of the hero and live up to their expectations for Komachi's sake. Somehow I managed to fool them and one of them became enthralled with me. Was I happy? Of course not. Why would I be happy over the affection of a middle school girl?

Komachi latched onto my arm and her eyes darted about. "Onii-chan, seriously, who is that girl? I can feel her watching us. It's kind of creeping me out." She looked up at my face. "And why are you smiling like that? You're creeping me out too!"

I slipped my arm from her grasp. "I-I just remembered a funny joke. Anyways, I don't know who's following us right now. You saw her, right? What does she look like?"

"Hmm, she had short hair and it was tied up in a bun."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

I cupped my hands to the sides of my mouth and took a deep breath. "Heeey, Yuigahama-saaan? We know you're there."

There was a loud gasp and an indignant shriek coming from the direction of a parked S.U.V. When I peered closer, I saw the back of Yuigahama's head sticking out from behind the S.U.V.'s hood.

"It seems like you do know her," Komachi said.

"I guess you can say that. Yuigahama-san, please, just step out already."

After seven seconds, she emerged from her hiding place with a sheepish smile, her head lowered in shame. "Um, how could you tell?"

I nodded to Komachi. "I've got a detective drama fanatic here."

"I prefer the term 'fan', thank you."

"You say that, but 'fan' carries a similar connotation with 'fan'atic, wouldn't you agree?"

"Con the nation? Are you some sort of anachrist, Onni-chan?"

"Connotation not con the nation, and why am I a religious figure now? What in the world is an anachrist?"

"You know, like a person who likes to rebel against the government."

"You mean anarchist? You know what, I don't care anymore. You have a smart phone with a dictionary app so use that." I looked at Yuigahama, who was watching us with interest. "So, Yuigahama-san, why are you following us around?"

She rubbed the back of her head and laughed uneasily. "Well, how do I say this? I've been meaning to talk to you but I never got the chance. I even skipped P.E. class to follow you here."

"You skipped P.E. just to talk? What could you possibly want to talk about?"

She raised her head and looked at me with upturned eyes.

"I think you already know…"

"No, I don't."

Her cheeks were flushed pink and her eyes were unfocused. There were Sakura leaves spiraling above us and one of the petals landed on her hair.

"Geez, don't make me say it…"

When did I raise a flag with this girl?! I thought.

"W-What are you talking about?"

"You know, about the accident. I want to talk about that," she said.

"Ah, of course. That's what it was," I said.

"Huh? What do you think I meant?"

"Nothing." I looked away.

She titled her head and the petal fell on the ground. "I don't get you."

I felt a nudge on my back. I peered behind my shoulder and saw Komachi winking at me. "Ah, Onii-chan, I forgot about that limited time, special sale they're having at the market. I have to hurry before it's over so go on ahead without me!"

She ran off without waiting for a reply. "Good luck Onii-chan," she called out.

"Why'd your sister run off like that?"

"You heard her, limited sale."

"Oh, my mom texted me earlier about it, too. She said she's going there to buy some cucumber and broccoli for my bento since she thinks I'm not getting enough greens."

"I see."

She looked down at her skirt and smoothed a wrinkled part with her pointer finger. "So, how about it, are you free to talk?"

"Well…"

"Do you…not want to talk?"

I classified airheads as annoying and troublesome, but generally harmless individuals. However, you couldn't help but trust an airhead because they were too easy to read. They were too honest.

"Um, are you okay? You've kind of been staring at me for a while now." She felt around her face. "Urk, I thought I took care of that zit this morning. Ah, please ignore I said that!"

"Where?" I said.

"It was around my chin…"

"I meant, where do you want to talk, unless you intend to talk here in the middle of the road?"

She looked at our surroundings and then waved her hands in front of her. "No, no. Let's go somewhere else. If you're okay with it, how about we go to a coffee shop? It's my treat."

If there was anything you wanted from Hikigaya Hachiman, all you needed to do was offer him free food.

"You gave me coffee earlier though," I said.

"Then order some cake or something, geez, Hikki."

"Hikki?"

She shrieked and covered her mouth with her hands. "No, it's just…I was thinking about…you see I made nicknames for some of my friends in middle school, and I just…you know that moment when you're in the shower and you just start thinking about random things, well I started wondering what sort of nickname you'd have—you know where I'm going with this?"

"No, I don't."

"Just imagine it."

"What, the shower thing?"

"Yes, imagine me taking a shower!"

Behind Yuigahama was an old lady who dropped her grocery bags after hearing that declaration.

"Kids these days," the old lady said. "Keep your hormones under control, why don't ya?"

We helped her with the groceries and Yuigahama offered to walk her home and help her carry the goods, but she waved off the offer with her wrinkled hands. "Nah, I wouldn't want to interrupt your fun."

"N-No, it's not like that," Yuigahama said.

"Yeah, yeah. Just make sure to use protection at least, okay young lady?"

"I'm telling you…"

"Save the excuses for your parents."

We bowed to the old lady as she walked away. Yuigahama was in a borderline seiza. It was somewhat refreshing seeing someone other than me commit social suicide. Schadenfreude was the ultimate pleasure for loners.

"That was the most embarrassing moment of my whole life."

Welcome to my world, I thought.

…

The café was one of those trendy places high school girls gathered to afterschool. You'd never see guys coming there alone. It was a girl's sanctuary and you'd better stay out unless you were invited.

I had my ticket to this holy place in the form of Yuigahama and I took full advantage of the rare opportunity, taking in as much detail and sensory data that my curious male mind could handle. I took in the sweet and smoky smell of tea and the bitter, wooden smell of coffee. The mix of fragrances energized me after one whiff of it.

I had never seen so many girls condensed in one area. My heart rate spiked and my sweat glands activated. I felt unwelcome there. They stared at me with confusion, some with unbridled disgust, and I felt their eyes on me. I even overheard one girl saying to her friend, "What's that guy doing here? Gross."

They averted their looks only after Yuigahama grabbed me by the wrist and pulled me to an open table. "Stop spacing out, let's go," she said.

I followed after her as the waitress led us to our seat. I looked back and saw that my presence was accepted, or I guess the appropriate word would be 'tolerated', by the female population after they saw me with a female escort.

For the sake of propriety, I pulled Yuigahama's chair as she was about to sit. She stared at me for a minute, smiled, took the seat, and muttered, "Thanks."

"You're welcome," I muttered back, and took the seat across from her.

The waitress came over and handed us our menus. "Raise your hand when you're ready to order." Then she attended to another table with a slight skip in her step, frilly apron skittering along with the dainty motion.

I examined the menu. "Hmm, what should I order, I wonder?" I flipped through the pages. "Hot beverages, cold beverages, cold desserts, hot desserts…these are all sweets, albeit with varying temperatures, but sweets nonetheless!"

Scrolling through her own menu, or more like burying her face in it, Yuigahama said, with her eyes fixated on the pages, "What did you expect from a place like this?" She licked her upper lip. "Yum! This lemon meringue pie looks tasty."

"I'm craving something savoury."

"Then order meat pie."

"Komachi is making dinner tonight so I don't want anything too heavy."

"Then order the croissant."

"I don't like croissants."

"Why?"

"I just don't."

She brought the menu down and glanced at me, "Just order something to drink then." She brought it up again.

I flipped through my menu absentmindedly and then I said, "I'm not thirsty though."

"Geez, I can't wait anymore," she said, and raised her hand. "Excuse me, we're ready!"

I hurriedly flipped through my menu as the waitress walked over with that bounce in her step. She stood by our table with a professionally pleasant smile.

"Hello, are you ready to order?"

"Yup! I'll have a cup of black tea with a dollop of cream. And get me a slice of strawberry shortcake, too."

The waitress pencilled down the order in her notepad. "Understood. And you, sir?"

The menu shook in my hands. "A-Ah, I want a, uh," I racked my brain and the first thought to come to mind was, "a croissant…"

Ah, stupid Hachiman, I thought, why are you panicking and why'd you say that you wanted a croissant?

"A croissant? Sure, and what else?"

"Uh, um, I…" I glanced at the waitress, the menu, at Yuigahama, and then back to the menu. "Um, well…"

"Sir?"

I was about to choose some random item to get it over with when Yuigahama said, "Hey, waitress, can you cancel his order for croissant and get him some normal green tea instead? He's on a diet, you see, and he's trying to cheat now. Bad, Hikigaya-kun, bad!"

The waitress smiled. "Very well then." She collected our menus. "I'll be back with your food ma'am. And with your beverage, sir."

I let out a breath when the waitress was out of hearing distance.

Yuigahama stared at me expectantly, but when I remained silent, she looked down at her finger nails and examined them with clearly feigned interest.

After a while, I said, "Well, you know how you blurt out the first thing that comes to mind when you're panicking?"

"But why would you panic, though?"

"Um…"

"Hey," she brought out her cellphone, "have you heard of this cool new app?"

At first I was surprised at the sudden shift in subject matter but she sent me a look with her eyes that made me realize her intentions.

"Oh, no, I haven't heard of that one yet."

"It's cool, you should get it."

"Okay, I will."

It was at that moment when I realized, that Yuigahama Yui was more than an airhead.

She was much more dangerous. She was a nice girl.

…

In the end we never had a chance to talk about the accident. A café was obviously not fit for serious conversation, nor was any public location for that matter. It was a faulty decision on Yuigahama's part.

"Geez, I already admitted my fault, you don't have to keep bringing it up," she said, while kicking a pebble that she had been kicking for the last two minutes.

We were walking aimlessly in the market place, the same one Komachi presumably went to, was busier than ever. Housewives came in droves to do some last minute dinner shopping, some students as well, probably on an errand from their parents, but they were pushed to the back of the line by the latter demographic, who had the advantage in numbers, experience, and drive.

Once we made it out of the market district, Yuigahama, who ate eight slices of cake back in the café, rubbed her tummy and said, "Those street foods looked so good. Too bad I'm so full already."

"You should have stopped after the fifth slice, to be honest."

"I couldn't help it. They were too good." Her eyes widened. "What if I get fat?"

I looked at her body. She had a small chest (at the time) and a slim figure.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "W-What are you looking at?"

"Nothing."

We reached a crosswalk and I was about to cross. Yuigahama grabbed me by the shirt sleeve and said, "Wait." I stopped, turned around, and saw the sun setting in the horizon. Yuigahama overlapped with the sun and I stood in her shadow and light streaked the contours of her shape, and she smiled and her smile was bright.

"My home is that way so I should go now," she said.

I nodded. "Okay. I go this way." I pointed to the crosswalk.

"So I guess this is a good time to split."

"Yeah."

"You know, I was a bit scared of you at first, but you're surprisingly friendly," she said.

I realized that I had been talking naturally to a real girl for the past hour or so.

"Y-Yeah, I suppose."

"Geez, why are you nervous now all of a sudden?" She laughed, and looked down. "Hm, when we go to school tomorrow, I wonder if we can talk like this too," she trailed off, "ah, never mind. I guess that's impossible."

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

I was about to respond when Yuigahama's arm shot over my shoulder, just missing my ear. "Wait, that car, isn't that…?"

I followed her finger and saw a familiar looking limousine stopping at a red light. A spike of pain ran along my back when I saw it.

Yuigahama ran towards it and after a few seconds of consideration I followed.

When we drew nearer I noticed that the backseat windshield was lowered and inside I glimpsed a girl with long black hair and eyes which focused not on one thing but multiple things in one instance. A paroxysm of wind dispersed her hair, concealing her eyes.

The red light turned green and with a burst of acceleration, the car disappeared into the horizon, swallowed up by the sunset.

Chapter 3: END

Regardless of their wishes, the curtain falls abruptly along with the setting sun.

A/N

Hey guys, thanks for reading this week's update. It's been a long week for me but I'm glad I managed to get this one done within my self imposed deadline.

Thanks for all the reviews for the last chapter. I really do take them seriously and I edit and re-work my chapters according to your comments. I know this benefits new readers more than my current ones, but your advice influences my future work as well.

I know most of you won't re-read the edits so I'll just list them out here since the changes are kind of major, well not really, but it might be for some of you.

For the Hayama scene, I made Hayama's insinuations, which were more like full out declarations with how affront they were, much more subtle as per the advice of at least a couple of you.

I also revised Miura's speech about kingdom hierarchy and all that. As someone mentioned in their review, it had chuunibyou undertones and fit a character like Zaimozuka more than Miura. The intention of the speech is the same, but expressed in a minimized way, taking out the kingdom analogy and replacing it with something tamer.

Okay, enough of that. Once again, thanks for reading and let me know what you think of this chapter!