Deans POV

I sat in the motel room at the edge of my bed. I couldn't get to sleep, so I took up watching over Sam. I stared at Sam with worry.

'I wonder what he is dreaming about that is making him toss and turn so much' I thought. Sam was moving all over the bed and was sweating.

Sams POV

I see chains and I here screaming. I see the cage and then my father. 'no no nO NO' I screamed.

I sat up in bed covered in sweat from the stress my nightmare has caused me. Almost robotically, I got up and grabbed my clothes. I went into the bathroom and locked the door. I turned on the water and stepped in after stripping out of my pajamas. As I wash I feel a familiar sting on my wrist. I look down and see the neat lines I have made. The cut was faint red and stung because I made just a few days ago. I look at the rest of my body. The sides of my torso is scarred with white lines, as are my thighs, biceps, wrists, and hips. There are some more cuts on my thighs that are older than the ones on my wrist.

I take one of the blades from my razor and stare at it. I decide to go with my torso. I place it horizontally on my side. I press down some and slide across. The crimson beads start to bubble up from the first cut. I make another just below it, this time pressing harder. Each time I press harder and harder. Only after did I realize how deep the cuts were. They were bleeding a lot so I took a towel and applied pressure. The bleeding finally stopped! I heard a knock at the door.

"Dude you all right in there it has been thirty minutes!" asked Dean, who is probably mad at me for taking up all the warm water,

"Shit I didn't realize what time it was, I'll be out in a sec," I threw on my shirt and pants. I hid the bloody towels in my night clothes then unlocked the door.

Dean pushed his way passed me shoving my side, I winced in pain. I hoped he wouldn't notice, but to no avail.

"Sam you okay? You hurt?" Dean asked calmly.

"No, just a little sore," I replied.

"Ok. By the way were staying here for a little while, we need a break," he said exhausted.

"Alright, fine with me," I said with relief. We did need a break we've been working day in and day out. Our latest case was a werewolf in Medford, New Jersey. Killed the pack off last night, they were a bunch of teens from the local High School.

I quickly threw the bloody towel in my bag below all my clothes. A few minutes later Dean was out of the shower.

Deans POV

"Hey I hear the swimming pool here is nice, and it's free, you want to go take a dip later?" I asked thinking it would be nice.

"Uh um no thanks I'm good," Sam said nervously, a bit too nervously.

"Dude come one why not?" I complained.

"I'm just not up for it Dean," Sam shrugged.

"Dude you know lately you've been acting strange. For the past few months you have been wearing long sleeves and jeans constantly, I shrugged it off at first, but it's now June and killer hot out and your still wearing long sleeves and jeans. You also have changed your bathroom routine, since when did you get changed in the bathroom?" I went on.

"Since always Dean!"

"No you used to come out with a towel around your waist and shirtless. Whenever I bring up something that we could do that requires taking off your shirt or long pants you get all defensive. What has been up with you man?" I asked getting annoyed with him.

"Nothing" Sam said nervously.

"Bullshit," I said. I walked up to Sam and shoved him on the bed. I pinned him onto the bed with one arm and started to unbutton his flannel.

"No no no Dean. Please don't please don't," Sam cried and gave me puppy eyes. But I had to do it. I unbuttoned his flannel and took it off Sam, who was now sobbing. "No please dean please," Sam cried then he started to flail his arms. I quickly moved to pin down both wrists. But what I saw shocked me.

Sams POV

Oh no he saw, he saw them. He is going to hate me forever. He is going to think I'm weak, just like what dad thought. I looked to the side, avoiding eye contact from Dean. I felt a drop of wetness on my face fall from above. I look at Dean, and see he has started to cry.

"Did you do this to yourself?" He asked in a raspy voice.

"No," I said.

"DID YOU DO THIS TO YOURSELF?" Dean yelled at me. I looked away again, the shame hitting me hard.

"I'm sorry!" I cried.

"WHY? Why? What did I do wrong?" Dean asked looking guilty with every word he said.

"It wasn't you,"

"Then what? How long?" Dean said desperate for answers for why his baby brother is hurting. "HOW LONG?" he screamed.

"Since I was ten," sobs uncontrollably flowing out of my mouth. Dean looked heartbroken, I made him feel that way.

He got off me and drew me into a hug.

"Why?" he whispered in my ear.

"I can't say why."

"You can tell me anything. I want to help," he cried tears dripping down his face.

I hesitated at first but then decided to tell him. "I was ten, it was the day before my birthday. We were in Dallas, Texas. My friend Timmy and I were hanging out. Timmys brother said he had a birthday present but I had to follow him to get it. I followed him up to his room and he grabbed me. He touched me down there, fondled me, made me fondle him. He stuck his dick in my asshole. He raped me! He did it every day till we left. Then there was the fact if you weren't home and dad wasn't on a hunt he would…" I took a big gulp. "He would beat me. He would use his fists a lot, a few times he even used his belt. One of my guy friends from Stanford sexually assaulted me. And when I was i-in th-th-the cage Lucif-f-fer raped me too. He would do it so often to me that I gave up fighting." I said in a sobbing wreck.

Deans POV

I can't believe my ears. My baby brother was raped at age ten everyday and I didn't ever notice. I stood here in anger and disbelief.

"I understand if you don't love me anymore." Said Sam.

"No, I still love you. You hear me, never doubt it." I said sternly. I love you more than you'll ever know Sammy.