He's been here 22.000 years or three days; he cannot get it straight in his head. Sometimes he remembers it all, other times it feels fresh in his mind.
When his fist hits the wall, he can feel something crack. Metacarpal bone, Martha whispers. He's broken it a billion times before but as long as he can still plug himself into the machine in two days time he can keep going.
He can see light and movement on the other side of the wall. He doesn't know what he will do when he breaks through. When. Progress is so slow, so horrifically slow; how many more lives before he breaks through?
The terror of it threatens to overwhelm him, but when it does he hears her voice;
'Let me be brave,'
She faced death with more dignity and courage than he ever has, and he feels he ought to follow her example. Let her be his teacher in this, let him emulate her for once. He's made so many mistakes with her; her scream still echoing through his mind is proof of that.
He punches again and screams as his index finger snaps. No problem, keep going. He punches again and thinks of her face, with those eyes and the never giving up. He will do this for her, as many times as he has to.
Dark fingers appear before his eyes and he knows what will happen next, remembers it vaguely like you would a dream or childhood memory. After this will follow a day and a half of agony; and then rebirth. He won't remember any of this, not at first.
When he gets to the other side, they will pay for it.
The Veil sears off his face and the world is reduced to pain.
xXx
He's been here over 12 million years or three days; he cannot get it straight in his head. Sometimes he remembers it all, other times it feels fresh in his mind.
There's a blood stain on the wall from where he punches it, but the pain isn't so bad now; as if he has finally grown used to it as his memories of the past few runs through the castle become more lucid. He knows, now, remembers it properly; could even calculate just how many skulls are in the waters below, if he wished to.
He doesn't wish to. The terror of it threatens to overwhelm him, but when it does he can hear her voice;
'Let me be brave,'
She faced death with more dignity and courage than- oh
"You know how sometimes you say something and whoever is with you says you've told them that story a million times before? This time, that's literal," He laughs in despair and beats his broken bones into the wall before him.
The Veil, as he calls the creature, doesn't have a sense of humor.
In his mind, Clara laughs along. He could always make her laugh. Clara, with her eyes and her smile and her voice.
When he gets to the other side, they will pay for it.
The Veil sears off his face and the world is reduced to pain.
xXx
92 million years or three days. After this, a day and a half or another 100 million years. He can no longer tell, no longer wants to tell.
He's shut off his mind from his body, sees the wall splinter and his blood glint but does not feel a thing. There is only Clara in the TARDIS, the two of them singing together in the dark, forever out of reach but always within hearing range.
A shard hits him in the face and for a moment it breaks him from his trance. Utter, primal terror threatens to take over but
'Let me be brave'
Let her be his teacher in this, let him emulate her for once. Clara, the school teacher, her student, a 2000 and 92,3 million year old creature whose world has been reduced to the wall before him and the girl in his head.
When he gets to the other side, they will pay for it.
The Veil sears off his face and the world is reduced to pain.
xXx
One billion years and a bit. Light at the end of the tunnel but his mind is a raging wildfire. His fists and wrists broken, the skin torn open and leaving blood stains on his clothes.
He remembers only the fear and her scream and the skulls - his skulls- he's been here so long-
be brave
When he gets to the other side, they will pay for it.
The Veil sears off his face and the world is reduced to pain.
Two billion years. His fist breaks through.
Be brave
They will pay for it.
-Not like this-
AN:
No other episode or show has left me this emotional in a long time. I can't tell if this did it even a little bit of justice, but I enjoyed writing it. Thanks for reading.