This fic all started with a "random Olitz thought of the day" musing that I posted on my Twitter. It got over ninety favorites, brought in some hate mail from the feels I gave people, and produced an overwhelming amount of requests to make it into a fic.

Here it is.

Olivia gently thumbs a stain off of her wine glass as she settles down after a long day of work on her couch. Things are not back to normal, but it it is a new normal she has come to know and accept. She helped another politician handle an unzipped pants situation today. She has honestly lost count over how many of those she has handled.

She once loved walking into Olivia Pope and Associates. The moment she stepped foot off that elevator, she was filled with energy and pride. Nowadays, it seemed only to take up time she desperately needed to burn. She had not felt passion since-

She takes a sip of her wine. Then another. She turns on the television to watch the nightly news.

"With one month left of President Grant's presidency, many are starting to debate what legacies he will leave behind. Although the President's terms have been ridden with cheating allegations amongst other scandals, one cannot ignore accomplishments such as the Brandon Bill and bipartisan agreements on gun control. We took to the streets and asked people from all different backgrounds how they will remember the Grant Administration."

"I honestly find it really hard to trust President Grant after he continuously promised to better himself as a leader and a person and just failed time and time again. I mean his wife paid someone to come forth as his mistress to cover up another affair she was pretty much supporting? Sounds like something that would only happen in a cheap soap opera. Yet that was what plagued news outlets when we could have been talking about relevant issues such as 'Bring Back Our Girls'."

"Grant has obviously had a hard time keeping it in his pants, but the Brandon Bill has significantly helped lower cases of police brutality which I think is more relevant than who he is or is not sleeping with."

"I'm surprised E! Network never went in and made a reality TV show out of this mess of an administration. They really could have profited off of it."

"Say what you want about our current President, but he has been one of the only politicians I have seen in ages who willingly comes to the middle of the floor to compromise. A Republican rallying for gun control? Who did that on a grand stage despite the risks before he did? He has my respect in that he knows how to truly represent the people. We cannot vote people into any office who do not know how to compromise. It is why our country gets into ruts time and time again."

"All I have to ask is what ever happened to Fitz and Olivia Pope? That was a love story I never thought I'd be rooting for, but I had never seen President Grant filled with so much life since he was running eight years ago. I was shocked to find they had split, but I guess it is hard to maintain a relationship in the White House and spotlight. After all of the years of hiding what seems to be a true love between the two of them, I kind of wish they ended up together. Maybe this is just me buying into the show the Grant Administration has put on, I don't know. *laughs*"

Olivia sets her glass down on the table and rubs her temples.

"Overall approval ratings for President Grant are surprisingly at 52% currently. Over the past couple of months, he has made huge successes in foreign policy initiatives in the Middle East and police reform. Many have attributed this to his family and relationship drama settling down, but Press Secretary Abigail Whelan has made it quite clear that the President is wanting to make the most out of his last months in office."

"President Grant has done a lot during his eight years in office, but he is especially concerned now with fulfilling every promise he has ever made to the American people before he leaves. He realizes that there have been times when he has let his fellow Americans down, but he is determined to leave this country in a better condition than it was in when he first stepped foot into the White House."

He did it. He is doing it. He is living without her. He is being the man she voted for.

So why is she not happy?

All of this time, this is what she wanted for him, but there was a big part of her that believed he could not do it without her by his side. He had told her that time and time again, and she knew the true value of her presence in his life. Heck for the past eight years she influenced more policy than anyone would ever know. Yet here he was being independant. Being alone. There was no excuse to run anymore. He had hit the bullseye no matter how small she made it.

But accomplishing everything he has since they accepted defeat was not for her. She hated to admit how much that hurt her.

They were not tethered anymore. They were two more lonely people in this world, all of the heartache not being worth a damn thing. They buried themselves in work and tried to find the passions they once had, but nothing was like the passion they had for each other and their dream.

Vermont. She presses her lips together in a thin line. Abby told her that it was on the market and that he was refusing to accept any offer, no matter how big. She realized that the fact he had not sold it was what got her out of bed every day, what made OPA tolerable. She had said that Vermont was dead. It had died the moment her procedure was through. There was no hope for them anymore, no future, no dream, no reality.

But she still clings to hope. She does not know how to live any other way. Someday it would all be worth it, it had to be. Jerry and Harrison's deaths, Defiance, her kidnapping and the lives lost because of it, Rowan's release, everything needs to have been worth it.

She knows what she has to do.

December 20th. He looks at the date typed at the top of the bill he is about to sign with a sense of wonder.

One more month until he is a free man.

He thought that he would never reach this point. He cannot seem to remember a time when he was not President anymore. He has tried desperately to remember what drove him to be here, what made this all seem worth it.

How could any of this be worth it?

He lost his son. He lost his relationship with his other two children. He lost his marriage, even though he knows it would have been doomed anyway. He lost his personal freedom, his true passion for politics, his faith in himself when he realized he never was never actually President because the people wanted him to represent them.

He lost her.

He lost the most important thing in the world to him, all because of this Presidency. For months he has watched as she has tried to glue her life back together, tried to numb out the pain through working. They both have mastered that coping process now. Even when Cyrus handed him the paper to nail the coffin in their relationship, he still knew that he would not love anyone more than her, despite anything she has ever done. He has dated, he does not know if she has. He does not care to check in on her anymore. They tried, it did not work.

It was not ever going to work. He tells himself that every night while he lies in bed remembering her wearing nothing but his Navy shirt and a content smile next to him. He would do anything and give anything to have her in his arms, but for her it is easier to run than to fight. He tells himself that he deserves better, someone who he knows full-heartedly will not run when times get hard. He has met those women. He has dated those women.

None of them are Olivia.

None of them make him feel alive. When she is in the room, every nerve ending in his body is electrified. He can feel every beat of his heart, every emotion running through his veins. With her, life feels worth living. True love is not a Hallmark creation. He feels a wholeness that he has been craving since he was a child.

He looks up and looks at his desk clock, watching as time slowly ticks by. The end of his Presidency used to be something he looked forward to. Even though these eight years had been long and hard, there was always Vermont. It was a new life that could write over this one. It was the dream that kept his heart beating.

There is no Vermont now. Her screams will forever throb in his ears. There is no them, Vermont, jam, kids, nothing. He has nothing.

When his Presidency ends, he will not even have a home to return to. Santa Barbara is now Mellie's. The only house left in his name sits five-hundred and sixty-four miles away, hauntingly empty and unlived in. After he had read the medical report, he had called up a local real estate agency and listed it. Many people had made offers, but he accepted none of them. They had been good offers, ones he probably should have accepted. After all of this time, he was still holding onto it. He could see himself flying his last flight on Air Force one and landing in the backyard, Olivia waiting at the back door wrapping her cardigan around her tiny frame as she smiled at him. She would make her way through the deep snow to him and kiss him chastely on the lips. Everything about the past would be okay because the present and future would be so magnificent.

Fitz breaks out of his reverie as Charlotte slowly opens the door.

"Mr. President, are you available?" Fitz puts down the bill and looks up at her.

"Yes." He responds quietly. Charlotte pauses, not wanting to report this to him at all.

"I just got a call from your real estate agent. You just got a pretty substantial offer on your house. There was a slight bidding war, and the other interested party backed out. He really recommends that you consider this one. Otherwise, the agency is going to have to drop your listing." Fitz sat for a moment before getting up and walking to the corner of the office. Their corner. Charlotte waits as he looks out the window in thought.

"I accept. Have him schedule a settling date with the buyer." He concludes, still looking out over the lawn.

"Sir, do you want to at least look over the numbers and-"

"Do you honestly think numbers matter to me at this point Charlotte?" He asks softly, turning slowly to face her. Charlotte looks down at the ground.

"I will let you know when a date has been scheduled." The door closes behind her and Fitz walks over to the jar of scotch sitting on his end table. He pours himself a glass and sits down, leaving the unsigned bill waiting on his desk.

Fitz closes his eyes and takes a deep breath as Air Force one lands on the grass of his property one last time. He is already regretting his decision to come early to the settlement, but he had to just see everything one last time. He hops of the copter and grabs the keys out of his pocket. He unlocks the back sliding glass door and steps inside.

He had not been here since it was finished. The living room was fully furnished, the refrigerator hummed softly in the distance. He walks over to the wine cellar and opens the door, locking eyes with the chardonnay he had bought to celebrate he and Olivia's new beginning. He had planned to show her the completed house on Christmas Eve as a surprise.

He quickly shuts the door and makes his way up to their bedroom. Shrugging off his jacket, he places it on the chair in the corner of the room and lies on his back on their bed to look up at the skylight. He remembers when he picked out all of the colors for it. Violet was Olivia's favorite color, so he incorporated it amongst blues and purples to create a beautiful visual to look up at. For a couple of moments he gets lost in it, only broken out of his entrancement when the alarm beeped to announce the arrival of a guest. He sits up slowly, taking one last glance of their bedroom before grabbing his coat and making his way downstairs. He makes his way into the living room and stops dead in his tracks.

Olivia. She sits at the counter looking down at the papers lying in front of him, unaware of his presence. He has not been this close to her in so long. He takes in every inch of her: the beautiful curls that pool down her back, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, her long eyelashes pointed downwards, the small pout of her full lips. Then it hits him.

"What are you doing here?" He asks, his voice surprisingly not filled with malice. Olivia's head pops up in surprise. They lock eyes for a moment before she speaks.

"I'm here to settle." She responds simply. She looks back down at the papers in front of her and pushes them across the counter.

"I told Eric he did not have to come. I thought we could handle this ourselves. I will drop off the papers on my way back to the airport." Fitz stands in place, not knowing what to do or say. Olivia scoots off of the stool and walks around the living room, taking in all of the updates.

"It truly is beautiful. The skylights, countertops, all of the little details. You truly put a lot of thought into this place." Her casual attitude about all of this starts to get to Fitz.

"Stop talking about the house!" He booms suddenly, echoing her own words. She stops in the center of the living room as her body tremors. She presses her lips together and blinks back tears.

"When I was kidnapped," She pauses, taking a deep breath.

"I had this dream where Jake saved me from my cell and you and I moved here. You were the mayor and I made jam, even though I have no clue whatsoever on how to even go about that." She laughs slightly, tears threatening to fall.

"We were so happy here, just you and me. Life was simple. You were worrying about throwing out the first pitch at the local baseball game and all I had to worry about was walking the dog and picking boysenberries." She looks around once more and smiles weakly.

"It was something nice to cling onto, it always was. But life is not simple, especially not our lives. Before we were outed, we had our Vermont. It was just you and me and we shut out the rest of the world. But then we were, and as I predicted we did not make it out of it together. We are not the same people, we are walking ghosts of people we used to be and wished we were." Fitz remains far away from her, still trying to wrap his head around what is happening.

"I never knew what I wanted. I grew up with a father always pressuring me to be twice as good as everyone else and to be at the top of my game. I always pictured myself being a big dog in Washington and that always satisfying me. As much as we talked about babies and Vermont, I never saw myself getting married or being anyone's housewife. That just was not in character for me. Yet I constantly dragged you through everything and never stopped to consider what I wanted, what we could be, what we could have if we just-" Tears start to spill down her face.

"I was not ready to be a mother Fitz. I just could not do it, not then and maybe eve not now. I was not mentally prepared to deal with the public outcry or the responsibility of taking care of a little human that would call me Mommy. There was never a doubt in my mind that you would be a good Dad to our children, but how am I supposed to be anyone's mom when I grew up with a mother who was a terrorist and was missing for half of my life and a father who rarely interacted with me and ran a top secret government spy organization behind my back? The pressure of being First Lady and meeting up to your expectations and the country's expectations and Defiance and Jerry's death and Harrison's death and all of the innocent lives that died to save me and all of the rest of it was just too much." She throws her hands down and begins to softly sob, and all Fitz wants to do is wrap his arms around her tightly and never let her go, but he is just too hurt to even move.

"I could fix everyone else's problems but I could never fix my own! I could never fix me! And that ruined the most important relationship in my life. It ruined us!" She stops and gathers herself slightly, taking a deep breath.

"I am here because I am investing in our dream. I believe in our dream. I am not going to spend the rest of my life being unhappy. We can talk about how too much has happened and how we are probably better off apart, but there will never come a time when I do not love you. And I think there will never be a time where you do not love me. I have seen the papers, I know you have tried to go on dates. Giavanni Milano from that international gun control group and that other gorgeous woman from your hometown. None of them have stuck." Fitz is slightly taken aback that she has been following him so closely.

"I know I have hurt you so deeply Fitz. I have done so many things that I am not proud of and I do not think that there is any way to make up for them. I have had to accept that in therapy. The biggest thing my therapist pushed was accepting my past and knowing that there is no way that I can fix it. What in the past is in the past. What I have done cannot be undone. I will never be able to be completely in control of everything around me. I get that now." She locks eyes with Fitz. Her heart beats even faster.

"I was not ready to choose you when I did, but now I am. So, I have signed those papers over there and they are just waiting for your signature. I am investing in our dream. I might not have a clue how to make jam and that is probably not what I will end up doing, but I know one thing that is for certain. My life will never be fully complete without you in it. I could fix all of the cases in the world and walk around D.C. with the big dogs, but my passion for all of that does not even come close to matching our passion. Our love." Fitz looks like he is going to take a step towards her, but he rethinks it.

"I do not expect you to come running into my arms. You love for me has been too unconditional in the past. I understand if you need some time, but I am asking you to sign those papers and let me invest in our dream. Let me put all of my chips on the table. Let me be the initiator for once. We can figure out how to make the dream a reality later, just please let me do this. Please."

They lock eyes and she can feel his hesitance weighing down on her. She threw all of her pride and everything into the middle of the room. She finally was ready to let herself be freed from the confines she had wrapped around herself. Fitz was in utter shock and awe, but the past still nagged at his back. Although this seemed like it was it, how could he truly know? He could wake up tomorrow to find out she had run once again.

But owning this house would forever keep her in place. She was right, she was truly betting on them. For the first time, Fitz felt like he saw the real Olivia in front of him, stripped down to her most vulnerable form. She had torn all of her walls down right in front of him willingly. She was the one truly fighting for their love. She was ready. But was he?

Olivia watches as Fitz walks over to the countertop. He drags the papers towards him and picks the pen off of them. She watches from across the room as he signs every one, trying to read his emotions. His face is blank, his hand is trembling slightly. She wipes the tears off of her face watches him intently. When he is finished, he pushes the papers back to their original place and closes the pen. They stand in silence, him squeezing the corners of the countertop and she waiting for him to make a move.

He wants to so desperately kiss her and make love to her on the floor right then and there, but he knows it is not right. For once, they cannot just act all at once. Last time they did that, it did not end well. He needs time to think, and so does she.

"Make sure these get to Eric." He murmurs softly. With that, he walks out of the sliding glass doors and towards the awaiting helicopter. She watches from the door as his figure fades into the backdrop of the mountains, wondering if they were ever going to get their Vermont after all.

Okay so this turned out to be way longer than I anticipated. It kind of just came out like a word vomit! I just made a video on my YouTube channel (AleccaOfficial) entitled "Does Vermont Still Exist?" where I really delved into what happened in 5x09 between Fitz and Olivia in great detail. If you have not seen it, I really recommend you check it out. It is one of the best videos I've ever done and I think it really helps those who were discouraged by the winter finale understand it in a new light. I brought a lot of my findings into this story and could really genuinely see something like this happening on the show. Maybe not for a while, but eventually. This story originally ended with them reconciling right then and there, but I think too much has happened for that to be realistic.

I originally intended for this to be a one shot, but I know if I read something like this and was left with that ending (especially after 5x09), I would be mad. I will gauge the reviews and see if I should continue. So make sure to leave one! I also love when readers tweet me on my Twitter (itsmebeccax) and since that's where this story really started, that would be cool too.

Stay strong Olitzers. There's still hope.

XXX, Becca