The perks of owning gay cats
by Stupiak Kitty

Summary: Where Midorima and Takao are cats. Takao is undergoing heat, but his owner was confused with his peculiar quirks. He yowled around the house, but he hissed at every female cats his owner tried to mate with him. What seems to be the problem?

A/N: ISTG my plot bunnies will make me insane. This was inspired by the video I (accidentaly) watched on youtube. I swear, my oneshots are getting weirder and weirder. But who cares? Not me. Weird is cute. Haha.

Takao is inspired by the popular cat on youtube, Maru. He's a cutiepie!

Have a lemon, inspired by the lemon candy I'm chewing right now! Ahaha!

I do not own anything.

xXx

"Tetsuya."

Kuroko almost sighed in relief once the former captain of the Generation of Miracles answered his rare call. "Akashi-kun, I'm glad you picked up. I need your help, and perhaps an advice as well."

"Tetsuya," Akashi repeated with an obvious authority in his voice. "What made you call me at..." He trailed off. Kuroko guessed he took a glance at the clock. "2:45 in the morning?"

"I need your help with my cat."

"Oh?" Akashi said. "You called to ask for my help, at the wee hours of the night, with your cat?" He confirmed, as if he couldn't believe what he was asking right now.

The phantom could hear the amusement in Akashi's voice. If Kuroko wasn't desperate now, he would be amused as well, but he has no mood to be amused if his cat was currently driving him insane.

"Kazu-kun is driving Kagami-kun and I insane," He explained. Akashi heard a faint yowling at the background, so he assumed it was the couple's stripped grey and black with a mixture of brown and white scottish fold cat. "I'm hoping that you could help me. I'm quite desperate right now, so I apologise for disturbing you in the middle of the night. I just need someone's help, and you're the only person I know that might help me."

"That's fine, Tetsuya. I'm in fact flattered, albeit amused, that you thought of me when your child is giving you trouble," Akashi said. The yowling in the background was now louder, and Akashi was already guessing the problem of their cat at the moment. "Is that your cat in the background?"

"That was Kazu-kun, yes," Kuroko said. "He has been doing that for two days, and I can't deny that it was giving us a hard time to sleep at this time. Kagami-kun needs to wake up at five, and it's been stressing him because Kazu-kun doesn't want to stop."

"I can see that," Akashi answered. "Have you considered giving your cat a mate? It seems like he's experiencing heat,"

"That's where our problem starts," Kuroko said. "We have already done that, for several times truth be told. We are aware that Kazu-kun was doing that to call for female cats, but everytime we tried to give him a queen, he would hissed at them, or worse, he would claw and fight them as if they were invading his territory,"

"Interesting," Akashi could only say. Then he suddenly caught the reason why Kuroko was calling for his help. "So you called with the thought of hoping that my own cat could help him with his current problem, is that it?"

It took awhile before Kuroko could answer, "That may be right, Akashi-kun. I am assuming that Kazu-kun was not fond of females, but of the same gender instead. So if you don't mind, is it okay if we try testing my theory? And if you were to agree, is it okay if we go there as soon as possible. Maybe tomorrow?"

"I do not mind," Akashi said. "not at all, no. What I'm concerned the most was the fact that my cat, Shintarou, is not fond of having Kazu around. I'm assuming you still remember that incident when brought your cat here to make them aware of their scent and befriend each other."

"I still remember, and it's not a good memory," Kuroko still remembered that day, where his usual mischievous and playful cat went to greet Akashi's cat by smelling his behind, which resulted with Shintarou clawing his cat ― hissing, growling and attacking him. Resulting with a very ugly cat fight. "But I'm still hoping that it might work so Kazu-kun would be happy and stop his yowling. I know that he's suffering, and he's not a happy cat right now."

"I understand. If that is the case, we could plan a meet up tomorrow. Although, is it alright for you if we meet around noon?"

"That's perfectly fine, Akashi-kun."

xXx

TAKAO POV

My name is Takao Kazunari. I am a scottish fold cat. My owner, Kuroko Tetsuya call me Kazu-kun. Sometimes, his partner Kagami called me that too, but most of the times he called me Takao.

or Bakao, if I'm behaving as mischievous as a cat could be.

We lived in an apartment complex, and we are a happy family of four. Why four, you ask? Because we have Nigou, my owner's pet dog, and he's a sweet dog. He always allow me to groom his head and lie on top of him, which he reciprocated my affection by doing the same. Although, I always try to move away whenever he was the one lying on me, because for one he's too heavy, and two I couldn't breathe.

Despite all, I like him and my family.

I am a cat with many interests. I like eating, especially chicken breast, cheese and carrots. Yum.

I have a chubby stomach that my owner likes to rub, and I like lying at my back when I sleep, because I'm comfortable with that. I also like sleeping, and napping.

I like pawing at the strange red dangling thingy at the corner of our refrigerator, but I need to climb up the counter and onto the shelves just to reach it.

I don't usually do it, because my owner's partner would use a fly stick to swat me at my behind whenever he saw me doing it, and I don't like that.

I like playing with Nigou and with the feather stick that my owner always use to keep me healthy and exhausted.

I'm a cat with curious mind, so I like sniffing all the items inside our ref and sometimes trash can, but whenever I do that I got stuck.

I like this square thingy (a large cereal box) that my cute owner always offer to me so I could do my stunt ― gliding on the floor and aiming to put all my body inside the interesting thing. But I always fail, because I could only put half my body inside it.

Sometimes I ended up bumping the table leg or the sofa, but that's okay.

I like lying at the back of the sofa while my owner and his partner would sometimes watch at the big rectangular object with moving things inside.

Sometimes I go straight at it whenever I see a bird, or an interesting moving object inside it. Then I would always hear them laugh, which made me giddy inside.

But what I liked the most, of all the interests that I have, was watching my owner and his partner rubbing their face at each other, licking their faces, mouths and every part of their body ― especially down the genital part. I like it, because seeing them groom each other meant that they are happy and comfortable.

It made me want to groom someone too. But that's alright even when I don't have someone.

I have Nigou. I have them.

I am a happy and content cat.

But that changed when my daily cycle of finding a mate has began. I am not a neutered cat, because my owner doesn't want me to be neutered. I don't want that too.

I entered heat two days ago, and until now I'm still searching for that certain scent my nostrils wanted to find.

I yowled and yowled, thinking that maybe the cat with this certain scent would hear me. I know they would know that I'm in heat, because I'm sure they would sense my scent.

My owner seemed to hate my yowling, because he would always try to bring me somewhere ― at some houses filled with female cats, or sometimes he would bring some at home ― which I really hate because I don't like smelling another unfamiliar scent in my territory.

I don't like being in heat, ironically speaking, because it was uncomfortable and painful ― especially if we couldn't find someone whom we must mate.

For me, smelling that special scent is enough for me.

"Kazu-kun, let's go and visit Akashi-kun today," I heard my owner's sweet voice inside my dreams. In a second I felt myself being lifted, and then I heard a click. Once I knew what happened, I was inside my cage. My nose and whiskers twitched.

Again?

I clawed at the corner of the cage when I felt a subtle feeling of shaking ― a feeling which I am now aware of. This only meant that my owner would be bringing me at someone's house again.

I just need to smell that scent again.

xXx

I woke up when I felt myself being dragged away of my cage, thank heavens for small miracle. I don't like spending my time in there, because it was almost suffocating.

And it seems like my owner is also aware of that.

"Kazu-kun, please behave, okay?" I heard my owner's voice said from above me. He was now holding me with my lower back and armpit, his familiar and comfortable chest caressing my fur. "I really don't want you fighting with Shintarou-kun again."

My ears twitched when I recognized that name, isn't that the mean bengal cat that I only want to be friends with?

I only want to greet him, but that cat is too cold and mean for his own good.

My owner stopped in front of a big ass door, pressed something that made my ear twitched when I heard a high pitched ding dong.

I layed my head on my owner's arms when the door opened, revealing a faint familiar scent.

"Tetsuya, it is good to see you early," I heard the man said. I looked at him; his eyes are weird. Then I almost froze when he looked at me. He stared at him as though he was thinking of ways on how to declaw me, and for one second I felt fear.

Then he offered a finger for me to smell, which I did in a very cautious way. When I was sure there was no threat ― and his fingers smelt good mind you ― I bumped my head and closed my eyes as I enjoyed the soft pats on my head and neck.

"I'm very sorry for intruding, Akashi-kun," My owner said. "But it was nice seeing you again."

"Do not worry about it, Tetsuya. I am concerned with your cat too," The kind man with weird eyes answered. "Shall we, then?"

My owner moved and went in, and I blinked once I was flooded with strange familiar smell.

My owner sat on a sofa as he put me beside him. I sat and looked at the side of his face. He was looking at the kind man with weird eyes, his mouth moving with his face devoid of emotions.

I don't understand human talk, I could only understand them by hearing the pitch of their voices, and how it was delivered ― or how familiar it was. Like my name, and the other's name.

Right now, their voices were placid, almost like they were talking in monotone ― contrary with Kagami's loud and anger-fueled (sometimes, if he's mad at me for stealing his food) voice.

So I looked at them, unblinking, as I tried to decipher their conversation.

My tail twitched when I heard a mewl in the corner, then my pupils dilated when I saw the familiar bengal cat whom I remember having a cat fight with.

So that's why the scent was familiar.

This scent...

The bengal's mewl became louder as it strode towards his owner. He jumped on the man's lap, rubbing his face on the arms then he sat down.

The bengal closed his eyes while his owner rubbed the part below his chin. It must be wonderful, because I could almost hear his purr right here, and they were a few feet away from us.

He opened his eyes when the rubbing stopped, then my tail swished in amusement when his pupil narrowed the moment he saw me. He must have not noticed me at first, but when he did, his sweet demeanor towards his owner changed into a rigid stance ― with his eyes staring at me as if I stole his food. Or invaded his territory.

I could also hear a faint growling, and I suppose it was because he knew that I'm in heat.

Instead, I sleepy-eyed him, telling him in silent what I think of his behavior.

Silly cat.

His owner must have noticed this because their voices stopped. When they spoke again, the pitch changed a little.

xXx

NORMAL POV

"How's Kazunari today?" Akashi asked.

"Nothing has changed, if that's what you're asking," Kuroko answered. He caressed the full back of Kazunari and then added, "How about Shintarou-kun? Is he in a good mood today?"

As if on cue, the cat itself suddenly walked up, with his long tail waving as he jogged towards Akashi and jumped onto his lap. Kuroko blinked as the cat rubbed its body all over Akashi.

"It's really strange to see your cat like this," Kuroko said.

"What do you by 'like this'?" Akashi caressed his cat's side as he stared at his friend. He already know what Tetsuya was talking about, but it's amusing to hear it directly from him.

"Your cat doesn't like to be held by anyone except you. He hisses at us when we try to pet him. Remember when Kagami-kun tried to do that? He hissed and growled and scratched him as though he was trying to kill him. He would act as if we're trying to harm him, almost to the point where we thought that he was near feral. But whenever you hold him, he would act like he's a different cat. He would change in a complete 360 degrees. I just find it weird; bengal cats are supposed to be sweet, isn't that right? But he's only sweet with you," Kuroko said.

Akashi smiled a subtle smile. "He's a sweet cat by nature," Kuroko tried hard not to oppose that. "Shintarou is only shy, that's why I want to expose him with things little by little. It was part of the reason why I had asked for a favor to expose him with your cat, which is the opposite of him, as we can see."

Akashi looked at Kuroko's scottish fold cat, which made him look down at his cat too. Kazunari-kun was entertaining himself with his own tail ― moving it and trying to catch it at the same time.

Kuroko smiled. "Kazunari-kun is playful by nature, so doing this 'experiment' with your cat is making me nervous. I can still remember the first time they got into fight, and I don't want that to happen again."

On cue, the bengal cat stopped his rubbing and sat straight, with his eyes now open and staring directly at them ― to Kuroko's cat specifically.

Gone was the sweet cat and the purring. The bengal was staring at his cat as though he wanted to pounce and attack him. It was funny, to say the least, the bengal cat acted like he understood what Kuroko just said.

When Akashi heard the soft growlingof his cat, he said, "It looks like he was now aware of your cat's presence."

Kuroko hooked Kazunari-kun by his mid-stomach and put him on his lap ― protecting him if by any chance the bengal cat decided to go straight at his cat and give him the evil claw.

Kuroko could now hear the bengal's growling, his eyes were focused only to the cat on his lap. While on the other hand, Kazunari-kun was still. When Kuroko chance a glance at him, he saw that his cat was looking at the bengal cat as well.

Kuroko could notice the subtle mischief on Kazunari-kun's sleepy eye.

"I...I think it's a wrong decision to make, Akashi-kun," Kuroko said. The bengal cat was now on the floor and arching his back, as if he was now ready to fight the other cat. "How can we see that our theory is right if Shintarou-kun is like that?"

He was worried with his own cat, but looking at Akashi he could only see amusement and a slight mirth.

"Tetsuya, I thought you are observant?"

Kuroko blinked.

"Kazunari is in heat, am I right?" Akashi asked. When Kuroko anwered a soft 'yes', he continued, "See how Shintarou swish his tail."

Kuroko looked, but still confused. "I don't...understand...?"

"Shintarou will not pounce at Kazunari, atleast not yet. I assume he's irritated. Perhaps he already know that Kazunari's undergoing heat," Akashi explained. "I don't know how he knew that, although I am assuming that it was by the smell, or how the purr of Kazunari sounded to him,"

Kuroko could only nod. He was observant, yes, but he's only observant with human. He couldn't ― and wouldn't understand cat's behavior, like Akashi does.

"Looking at Kazunari," Akashi went on. "He does not looked like a scared cat, nor was he invoking threat to Shintarou. For one he looked more like he was enjoying Shintarou's display of emotions. His eyes are hooded, he was slouched, he was also purring. It's a sign that he's comfortable."

How did Akashi know that, anyway?

"Shintarou is only annoyed, by what I'm uncertain," Akashi stooped to caress the lower back of Shintarou, which he responded by arching his back and rubbing his body on Akashi's leg. "Shall we take the test furthermore?"

Kuroko caught on what Akashi was telling him, so even if he's anxious by Shintarou's behavior, he put Kazunari down beside his legs and waited. For the worse.

xXx

TAKAO POV

I couldn't be more grateful for my intellegent owner when he put me down the floor. I'm a natural lazy cat, but I'm lazier because of my heat. I'm already comfortable with my slouching and I don't want to move to greet Shintarou because my balls are aching.

I streched once I was on the floor, but it was also my technique to make a move towards the grumpy bengal cat.

My nose and whiskers twitched as I went near him, inhaling the sweet musky scent coming from him. I knew at that moment it was the scent I was looking for. I never thought the owner would be a male.

But I still long for it.

He only sat there at the foot of his owner not doing anything, just observing me with piercing gaze.

"Hi," I meowed once I sat in front of him.

He only looked at me.

Encouraged by his willingness to converse with me, I moved to greet him in a more intimate way by touching my nose with his, but before I could do that he placed his left paw ontop of my head and pushed me away.

I sat again.

"You're the silly one," He meowed back. I was left there awestruck as I heard his voice. It was smooth like caramel, beautiful like the box I'm interested with and delicious like the chicken breast.

I tried not to pounce at him then and there.

Instead, I meowed again, but this time it was a meow of longing and wanting, and desire.

"You're a horny cat," He meowed again. And wow, it was music to my ears.

I moved to smell his neck and back ― my lower back and body shivering as I tried to memorize his scent. It was also my way of telling him that I'm in heat and I can't control my desire to pounce someone and burry my seed inside.

"I know," He meowed, but it was a meow and a purr at the same time. "I know that you're in heat that's why I don't want you near me," He used his paw to pushed me away from him, and then he ran away.

He didn't used his claws, so I'm very certain it was his way of telling me to chase him.

So I did.

xXx

NORMAL POV

Kuroko was shocked when the bengal cat only meowed after pushing Kazunari-kun away. Bengal's meow were known to be melodious and sweet, so hearing it coming from a cat who only hiss and snarl at them is shocking.

Especially when Kazunari-kun and Shintarou-kun appeared to be conversing in a peaceful way.

"I wasn't expecting this," Kuroko said while observing the two cats.

"Me as well," Akashi answered. "Perhaps your theory is right."

"I'm―" His response was cut when the bengal ran and his own cat followed. He frowned. "Is that a good sign?"

"All we need now is to wait and see what happens," Akashi said.

They waited for about three to five minutes, until they heard a commotion coming from Akashi's room.

They first heard Kazunari-kun yowling. Kuroko only thought of the worse as they went to see what's happening.

The two cats were screaming, howling. One cat was hissing while the other was yowling.

They assumed that the two cats were fighting again, but what they didn't expect the moment they arrive at Akashi's doorway was this...

The two cats were trying to dominate each other. Each time the other cat tried to latch on to the neck of the other, they would growl and scream.

But what amused the two owners was the scene unfolding before them. There are no claws involved like the last one, so this is not fighting.

More like foreplay, in human's term.

They watched with amused eyes when Kazunari-kun growl in a very funny way, rolling the 'r' in a seductive and defeating tone as he allowed the bengal cat to lay on top of him and bit his nape.

xXx

TAKAO POV

"Shintarou, where are you," I yowled, searching for the bengal cat that got me excited.

I heard the familiar meow and purr on my right side, so I stride towards it.

"Shintarou, Shintarou..." I yowled and yowled, while he answered me back with that intoxicating combination of meow and purr. "Shin-chan~ where are you hiding? My balls are already hurting."

"Bastard," I heard a purr from above, and before I knew it he pounced onto me as he tried to latch his mouth on my nape. I screamed and reacted quickly, so his teeth only scraped with my nape.

So he was hiding on the top of his cat paradise.

I know what he's trying to do. I could only mate with him if he was the one who would dominate me.

I won't give up then, because I was in heat not him.

I followed him when he climbed up his kitty tower, but he hissed at me as he ran around the kitty paradise and climbed down to bite me at the base of my tail.

"No!" I screeched and used my mouth to bite his neck, I was trying to make him surrender and give his butt to me because my heat is making me restless and grumpy.

"Give up, Takao," He whined and screamed, using his paw to push me away. I'm aware that he doesn't want to use his claw at me, like he did last time we had a cat fight.

"I won't," I yowled as I tried to pin him down, but he was too strong. He ran and climbed up the bed. He turned round and round as he tried to groom himself. He doesn't want my scent on him, but his scent on me.

I climbed up the bed as well as he groomed himself, taking it to my advantage to latch my teeth onto his vulnerable nape.

Shintarou ― which I call Shin-chan now ― screamed bloody murder as I pinned him onto the bed, pushing my body weight ontop him. I heard footsteps, so I assumed that his scream alerted our owners.

He growled when I adjusted how I bite the back of his neck. Am I hurting him?

He took that one second of doubt to shimmy away from under me to pin me instead.

So I lay there, under him, whining ― my whiskers twitching because I failed to dominate this Shin-chan and admiting my defeat.

But who am I kidding? I rather like this position to be honest, because it feels like heaven on earth smelling that delicious mouth-watering scent coming off from the strong grumpy bengal cat ontop of me.

"You're a stubborn cat," I meowed and whined as I felt him fix himself on me. I could feel the warmth radiating off him. Is he affected by my heat already?

"Says the one who doesn't want to be dominated," He growled back. Ohh, I love hearing his sexy growl. It was commanding and strong, and it makes me want to kick my back legs like a queen.

"I'm the one in heat not you," I meowed, drawling my 'r' long enough for him to know that I'm flirting with him.

"You're a horny cat," He growled as I felt him move on top of me. I assumed he was finding my hole, so I pushed my butt up and kicked some more once I felt the strange hotness tickling my back, then my inside.

Feeling him jerking behind me was the only sign that he was now inside.

This is not comfortable, but smelling his scent near me was more than enough.

"I'm not, just in heat," I meowed, but my meow turned into a high-pitch wail once he moved to remove his thing that was inside me. It freaking hurts like hell, so now I know the main reason why some of the queens I'm acquianted of screamed like a rat trapped on a sticky mouse paper whenever they mate.

"Sorry I hurt you," He growled, but I could hear the subtle affection and sincerity behind his growl by noticing the 'r'.

Once he removed his teeth on my neck, I turned around and rolled at my back, not bothering to rinse his scent off me.

I felt like a queen, but I don't care. I love being dominated by this hot bengal cat.

"Shin-chan, I love you," I purred and meowed as I continued rolling. "Your scent is delicious as chicken breast to me. Please mate with me again,"

Shin-chan smelled me, and then he began grooming the part where he latched his teeth on earlier.

I can't contain my happiness, because he was telling me yes.

I purred to tell him how happy and contented I am.

"Do you want another round?" He drawled. I noticed how he drawled the 'r' longer.

My nose twitched in excitement.

By the love of the rat, yes!

xXx

NORMAL POV

"...Wow," Kuroko was shocked to see how the two fighting cats were now doing the do in a cat way. He's speechless. They were doing it, and this was the first time he had seen two male cats doing it.

It was weird, to say the least.

"We are now both aware that your theory was correct," Akashi said, observing the two cats mating with a long stare. "It was confirmed: our cats' sexual preference are similar with ours. What amused me right now was seeing my cat comfortable and talking at ease. He's not like this usually,"

"Talkative?" Kuroko asked. The two cats were only growling, purring and whining, especially Kazunari-kun.

"If you haven't noticed, Kazunari and Shintarou are conversing with each other as they mate," Akashi answered. "About what, only the both of them know."

Kuroko blinked. "I never imagined you as someone who understand cats so much,"

It was almost creepy.

"I don't know, Tetsuya," Akashi answered, still staring at the two cats which were finished by now. The corner of his lips twitched as he saw his own cat licking the nape of Kuroko's cat. "Maybe I was a cat in my past life."

Kuroko could only nod.

"Oh. They are doing it again?" Kuroko almost exclaimed when he saw Shintarou-kun moving to straddle his cat's back again.

"Let's just leave them be and talk about important things instead," Akashi said. "Like Kouki's suprise birthday party, for instance."

Kuroko smiled.

xXx

3 hours after...

"How was Kazunari-kun and Shintarou-kun?" Kuroko asked as he saw Akashi came out from his room.

"Still the same," Akashi answered. He sat on the couch across Kuroko and crossed his legs. His lips moved in a subtle smirk. "They seemed to like each other now."

"Are they still on it?" Kuroko asked.

"Do you have plans with Taiga tonight?" Akashi asked instead. He could see how Kuroko frowned as he kept on looking at the clock. "Kazunari can stay the night here, if you are in a hurry."

"Ah ― no, I was only worried," Kuroko said. "This is not usual for cats, am I right? I mean...their mating span only last for seconds, or minutes depending on how the tomcats are succesful of dominating his queen ― or atleast that's what I know..." Kuroko spared a glance at the room then back to Akashi. "They've been doing it for hours now."

"Perhaps they discovered it,"

"Discovered what, Akashi-kun...oh," Kuroko's voice trailed off once he caught on what Akashi was implying.

"Kazunari-kun is lucky," Kuroko said after a moment of silence. "They could do it wherever and however they want to do it without the trouble of thinking how to hide their soreness,"

Akashi couldn't help but smirk, "Is that you complaining, Tetsuya?"

"Oh, no, I was only thinking how lucky the cats are," Kuroko said. "We're luckier though,"

"I believe so," Akashi answered. "They give us enough entertainment to last for the whole day."

It was true. In fact, Akashi and Kuroko were now spending their time outside the room due to the fact that they have been watching the two enthusiastic cats doing it for hours, it was now boring them.

"I guess it's one of the advantages of owning gay cats," Kuroko said.

"I guess it is."

xXx

END

xXx

You just read a fanfic where cats are doing the popular do. How awkward was that? Haha! Don't judge me please, I was only inspired, okay. XDD