As she walked her head seemed to be so full of thoughts, she didn't mind how far she still had to go.

She needed time to think, to let it all sink in. To be on her own for a while. She was married now, Mrs. Carson, Mrs. Charles Carson. Elsie had lived on her own for so long, always surrounded by people but still alone. She never had had that special someone. Now she did, that needed some time to get used to.

Elsie stopped walking, so deep in thought she wasn't paying attention to where she was going. Looking up, she was at the exact point where she needed to turn and walk into a different lane. It was another beautiful summers day, the warm sunshine marking her shadow out to the side, rippling over the grass beside the lane.

Elsie was walking into town. She had gotten married just the day before. Married. Not just the sunshine was warming her up.

It had been a beautiful day, her mind flashed with so many images, so many different emotions. But this was not what had her head so full, amazingly.

She kept walking, rather slowly but deliberately, she had a mission.

Even though her new husband had assured her that she had looked beautiful on their wedding day, she had not felt beautiful.

His words, his speech in the schoolhouse had surprised her. What was this stern butler saying?! But it had filled her with joy, and a feeling in her body, in those very private parts.

She had felt uncomfortable, not because of her new husbands words but because they were surrounded but everyone they knew when she was feeling such heat within her. Hoping very much no-one had noticed.

Ever since the whole Mr. Carson, Misses Patmore, Mrs. Hughes triangular conversation about what Mr. Carson had expected or rather wanted from her when they'd married, she had not thought about 'it'. He wanted 'it' and so did she. Elsie had appeared indecisive not because she didn't want to have that part of being married with him happen, but she felt unattractive. She felt past it, very much past it actually.

But Charles was sure, so, so was she. Walking faster now she felt so stupid, cowardly for not making more of an effort, for not proudly putting herself out there.

Mr. Carson would always make sure he'd make her proud.

She hadn't, had not given him what he deserved, but tonight she would, when it was just the two of them, she would give herself to him fully.

She had told him that he could have her after all.

To make up for her silly behaviour on their wedding day, she would make herself the most alluring she could tonight.

Lady Grantham's hand me down was beautiful and very generous, the dress Misses Patmore had ordered for her was the kindest thing this formal foe had ever done for her.

But it wasn't her, it hadn't been her own choice. Not the kind of clothes that reflected her or her love for Charles, because she hadn't picked them herself. She was so angry with herself, clenching her hands into fists.