Chapter 18

June 30, 1997

When Granger and Lovegood came running into her office, she knew that tonight was the night.

She knew in her bones.

She sent a Patronus to Severus, and swept out of her office, running toward the Astronomy Tower. The fighting was in full swing around the staircase, but she slipped through them all and flew up the stairs.

Draco, Amycus, Alecto, Fenrir, and Yaxley were already there, facing a cornered and wandless Albus.

Alecto was speaking. "…or stand aside so one of us—"

She burst through the doors, looking calm and collected, as if nothing were wrong in the world at all. All six heads turned to face her as she entered.

"We've got a problem, Civia," Amycus muttered. "The boy doesn't seem able—"

The lumpy man was interrupted by a weak plea.

"Civia…"

She couldn't…but this was the part she had to play, put in motion by the very man apparently pleading before her now.

"Albus," she purred, one hand lazily holding her wand, the other resting upon her hip. "Been a while, hasn't it?"

"After all this time?" he murmured weakly, a grotesque parody of a former conversation.

Her lip curled up in a sneer. "Always."

She raised her wand, instincts and mind screaming against her actions.

"Get on with it, enough gloating!" growled Greyback, stepping closer and grabbing her. With a snarl, she turned her wand on him and blasted him back.

"No!" she spat. "This is mine."

She thought of all he had made her do, all she had been forced to live with. Fucking Death Eaters, killing innocent muggles, even killing children. Torturing innocents and watching, standing nearby, as horrors were committed, unable to stop.

She thought of all that hate that boiled in her blood sometimes, all the resentment and disgust and horror and rage.

She thought of all she had suffered—all Severus had suffered.

She thought of all that she could prevent by cementing her place in the Death Eaters' ranks, all by one simple spell.

She knew the spell. She knew it. And she knew it had to be done.

But she knew all she would lose with it. Severus would forever think of this night when they were together, he would always know her as the woman who was forced to murder their friend. Harry would think her a traitor, a villain. Her friends, the teachers and staff, they'd all hate her, try to kill her.

It had to be done.

"Avada Kedavra," she shouted.

Albus fell…

She did not watch as his frail body tumbled over the battlements and into the air, but she knew it was happening all the same.

She turned back to the other Death Eaters and Draco, who gaped in utter shock.

"Let's go!" she snapped, seizing Draco by the scruff and shoving him towards the stairs. Like a spell was broken, they all snapped into action, hurrying down the stairs.

Downstairs, the battle was still ongoing.

"It's over, time to go!" she screamed, leading the charge down the corridor, towards the Entrance Hall. She blocked a Sectumsempra from Severus as she went, and extinguished a wave of flames from Minerva before it could reach Draco.

It was outside the castle when Harry caught up to them, screaming. "Civia! He trusted you!

"Impedimenta!" he cried, and both Carrows fell with identical squeals, tripping over each other.

As she turned back to face their pursuer, Rowle set Hagrid's hut aflame with a shouted spell.

"Stupefy!"

She blocked with curse with a lazy wave of her wand.

Draco was lingering beside her, unsure. "Run, Draco!" she ordered, shoving him toward the gates.

"Cruc—"

Again, she parried the curse, knocking her nephew off his feet, sending him skidding across the damp lawn.

He tried again at the Cruciatus, but was only knocked back on his bum once more.

"No Unforgiveables from you, Harry!" she snapped. "You haven't the nerve or ability—"

Harry roared as he charged her again. "Incarc—"

She waved the spell away with her wand-free hand.

"Fight back!" Harry screamed. "Fight back, you coward!"

She laughed coldly. "Coward, you call me?" she sneered. "Your father would never come after me unless it was four against one! What would you call him, I wonder?"

"Stupe—"

"NO!" she screeched, sending him flying backward once more. "You'll never win unless you learn to keep your mouth shut and your mind closed, Harry!"

She turned to Rowle. "Now come!" she snapped. "It's time to go before the Ministry gets here—"

But as Harry attempted another jinx, Rowle jumped in with the Cruciatus upon her nephew.

"Enough!" she spat. "Potter belongs to the Dark Lord, or have you forgotten? Go, you idiot!"

Rowle snarled wordlessly at her, but obeyed.

Harry was upon them once more, screaming curses, until she sent him yet again onto his back, hitting the ground hard, disarmed.

She gazed down upon him coldly.

"Kill me then," he panted, lips curled back in Snape-worthy snarl. "Kill me—like you killed him, you coward!"

Again, she laughed. "A coward am I, my dear nephew?" she asked, cold and detached as the crescent moon above in the sky.

"You're lucky the Dark Lord wants to finish you himself, Harry," she murmured, tsk-ing as he reached for his wand, which she kicked out of reach.

"Good luck, dear boy," she sneered down to him when he snarled up at her wordlessly. "You'll need it."

With that, she turned and was gone.

March 1999

February faded into March, and slowly, Civia began to forget about the attack.

It was, of course, featured in nightmares, but she found that sleeping in Severus' bed with him often warded them away.

That didn't mean they were always prevented, merely that his presence was her good luck charm, her guardian—her Patronus, almost, guarding her against the dark and foul.

In addition, sometimes she'd wake up from vivid nightmares and run to the loo to vomit for the dreams were so painful. Those nights and mornings, Severus would follow her and without complaint hold her bush of curls away from her face, offering her a glass of water when she was finished.

The mood swings were normal, or so they read.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, as they learned, was unpleasant in the extreme, even if hers was a fairly mild case.

Still, they persevered.

Eventually, with Lucius now locked away in Azkaban for life, Narcissa was able to return to the Manor and leave the happy couple to themselves, with her blessing.

(The less said about that evening when she'd walked in on a passionate snog session, the better.)

"Should we tell Minerva?" Civia asked one evening.

"Hmm? Tell her what?" he said, looking up from his research notes.

The Potions Mistress rolled her eyes. "About us."

"I don't see why not," he replied with an elegant shrug. "There are no rules against two teachers being involved, I checked. We won't be in trouble. There's no reason to hide it from her."

"I thought you'd want to keep it a secret?" she asked, curious.

He snorted. "The war's over, why keep happy secrets like that to ourselves? Minerva and the staff would be happy for us."

"Still, I thought you would prefer to keep it quiet."

"Keep quiet that I've caught one of the brightest, loveliest, most powerful witches in England?" he snorted. "Why? You act as if I'd be ashamed."

She smiled, scooted closer to him on the couch, and kissed him.

He was quick to move his notebook from his lap, without even releasing her lips in the process, she noticed.

While he might not have had many opportunities in the past to practice kissing, he was—as ever—a quick study and had learned very swiftly how to kiss her just so, in such a way that had her trembling against him, clutching to his frock coat as she moaned.

Despite their passion, he moved slowly, probably afraid of moving too fast and triggering her anxiety, but that wasn't an issue for Civia. She knew the difference between Severus and Lucius, thank you very much.

As it was, she was quite tired of being treated like the finest, most delicate china.

So Civia found herself pulling him closer and eventually climbing into his lap, before they slid sideways, laying down on the couch, her resting on top of his lean frame.

"Civia," he murmured between kisses, as her mouth slowly migrated from his lips to his chin and neck. "You need to stop."

"Why?" she demanded breathily. "I don't want to."

He huffed out a laugh. "Because someone is knocking on the door."

So it was.

Reluctantly, she pulled away and sat upright, fixing her disheveled hair before going to answer the door.

"Draco?" she asked. "Is something wrong? Is it Narcissa?"

"No—no, nothing's wrong, Professor. I was just…I just wanted to talk to you, if you don't mind."

Her brow furrowed. "Of course not. Come in. Severus and I were just doing some research."

The student noticed her swollen lips and still messy hair, and smirked. "Research, right."

"Something to say?" she asked sharply.

"Nothing, Professor!" he replied immediately. "Sorry."

"Please, sit," she motioned to an armchair. "Tea?"

He shook his head. "No thank you, Professor."

Severus cleared his throat as he stood. "I'll be in the library if you need me," he murmured quietly to Civia. Draco did not miss the affectionate hand on her shoulder as he spoke.

As the door shut behind him, Civia turned back to the student. "What is it, Draco? Is everything alright?"

"I—yes," he began awkwardly. "I just…wanted to apologize. For what my father did. I can't—I can't explain how sorry I am that it happened."

Her stern gaze softened. "It isn't your fault, Draco, but thank you. I appreciate it. But I'd appreciate it if everyone would treat me normally, if you can spread the word. I'm not going to dissolve into tears at the drop of a hat."

He laughed. "Right. Will do."

"Is that it, Draco?" she asked curiously. "You needn't have bothered coming all this way to see me just for that…"

"No, that's, that's not it," he replied, somewhat nervous to Civia's eye. "I was wondering…that is, the end of the semester is approaching and I'll be graduating soon, and I've been thinking about what I want to do afterwards."

She suppressed a smile, guessing his intentions.

"And I was rather thinking…that is, I was hoping you'd consider taking me on as an apprentice."

The Potions Mistress smiled. "Well, I'd be honored, my boy. You'll just need to do well on your final exam and then we can begin the process."

Draco stared at her uncertainly. "That's it?"

"That's it."

He smiled slightly. "Thanks, Professor. I'll let you get back to your…research, now."