"Yuuri," Greta inquired, her almost-womanly eyes trapping his own, "when are you and Wolfram finally going to get married?"
Yuuri spat the black tea which had been in his mouth at her causing her to shriek. The nearest maid came scurrying up the garden's walkway. "Miss Greta, here let me help you clean off." The maid patted her down with a cloth before bowing slightly and retreating a reasonable distance away.
Yuuri apologized, "Sorry, you just caught me off guard."
She glared. "Well, it shouldn't."
"Jeez, did I really raise you to give me such a hard time?" He put his hands up to ward off her scrutiny. "Okay, okay. I'm still unsure about the whole thing."
She set her teacup down upon her saucer. "But why? I thought you had gotten past his gender."
"I have. That's not the problem."
"Then what is?"
"I'm still not in love with him."
"But it's been seven years!"
"You can't force yourself to fall in love." He fingered the handle of his teacup.
"Then," she stared into her teacup, a distraught expression on her face, "perhaps you should break it off."
Yuuri frowned. At first, the engagement had seemed like the worst mistake he had ever made. He hadn't had any intention of marrying a hot-headed, arrogant prince, and even now he knew he wasn't gay. But, the longer he spent with him, the more he appreciated the workings of fate. If not for their previous mishap, Wolfram would probably have never given him the time of day. He would never have grown to consider the fiery soldier to be his best friend. He was still annoying what with insisting to sleep next to him each and every night and nagging him about eying women, but truly, he wished to never have to leave his side. Was it wrong that he wanted to hold onto this thing that bound them together? "We'll see, Greta."
"Fine." She huffed. "But you can't keep putting it off forever, you know."
He did know, and that was what scared him.
Another ball. Another night filled with dancing and good cheer. Another night for Wolfram to give him the cold shoulder. Balls reminded Yuuri of getting heartburn. Spicy food tasted great in the moment, but it came back to bite you later. He never had understood why Wolfram got so upset with him for dancing with women. Yes, maybe they were quite beautiful, and yes, maybe they did flirt with him. But when had Yuuri flirted back? Wouldn't it be rude of him to deny his subject's proposals to dance? Besides, there was no reason for him to be jealous when he had never spent a single moment alone with these girls.
Sharing a bed with Wolfram had been extremely awkward at first. Sharing beds was something girls did. As far as he knew, boys never slept together unless they were together. He had actually been worried that Wolfram might jump him, but he had never attempted anything. Not even once. As much as Yuuri appreciated it, that was probably the main reason Yuuri had been able to put off the seriousness of their situation for so long. They would just lie side by side, though sometimes he would awaken with a limb or two entwined with his own. This could hardly be blamed on his bedmate, though, so Yuuri always pushed it off without a thought. He had grown accustomed to the warmth that Wolfram's body radiated his way, so on those nights when he was upset and turned away from him, the punishment affected him more than he would have liked.
He had had a hard time letting go of Greta's conversation with him the other day. How did he feel for the blond? He could accept that he wanted to stay with him forever if possible. Perhaps it was selfish to feel that way when he was dragging Wolfram down a dead-end path. Yet, even though Wolfram continued to inquire about their wedding and accuse him of cheating, he had never once threatened to leave, never once pushed Yuuri too far. Maybe Yuuri was being the wimpy king Wolfram often called him, but deciding not to decide was easier. But here, lying in bed, missing his fiancé's body heat, he could feel the tiny stir of something that had lay buried inside him. He longed to tug that heat close to him, to feel Wolfram's presence more strongly. But he didn't.
It wasn't until Wolfram left on his next routine trip to Bielefeld that Yuuri's brain finally decided to connect with his heart. He loved Wolfram. Or at least, he loved him more than he had ever loved anyone else. He still didn't feel a fiery passion or anything of that nature, but his mind drifted in every other way imaginable during his absence. He saw them marrying, saw Wolfram's beautiful happy tears as his feelings were returned. He saw them standing together ecstatic at Greta's wedding, saw her look of relief that her parents relationship was secured. He imaged nights just looking into each other's eyes through streams of moonlight, or giddy yawns as they stretched out morning kinks. He imaged smiles and laughs, brushes of contact, support and assurances. He wanted this future.
Wolfram was sweaty from his ride when he returned. Yuuri greeted him more enthusiastically than usual, which caused the blond to eye him suspiciously, but he did not say anything about the matter. When he announced that he should head to the bathing quarters, the double black suggested they bath together. There was a slight hesitation, but the blond agreed.
When Yuuri had finished undressing he found Wolfram to still be standing there fully clothed. "Are you alright, Wolf?" he asked, reaching a hand out to him.
Wolfram flinched before putting on a forced smile. "Of course. I'm just tied from all that training. Go on ahead." He gestured toward the tub. Yuuri did so, but kept a watchful eye on him. "Uh, Yuuri…Do you mind?"
The king felt his face grow hot. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…" He turned around, sinking his face into the water.
"Damn!"
"Everything alright?"
"Don't turn around!" Wolfram screeched.
What was wrong with him? When his fiancé finally entered the water, his face was redder than it should have been. "Are you sure you should be in here? It looks like you have a fever." Again, the king reached toward him causing the blond to flinch.
"Please, don't touch me." His voice sounded weirdly strained. He leaned back against the wall with a slight groan.
"Are you sore from the training? I could give you a message?"
His eyes went wide, first with gleeful surprise, then in horror. "No, that won't be necessary. Thank you for the offer, though."
Yuuri was feeling very curious by now. Hadn't he read somewhere that exercise could turn people on? He was suddenly interested since he had never actually experienced an arousal himself. "Wolf, are you…?"
The prince turned his face away. "Am I what?"
"Are you turned on right now?"
He yelped, face beet red. "I'm sorry! I thought I could make it go away, but you were so attentive."
So, his fiancé was feeling this way because of him? He felt happy, and almost confessed right there, but then he remembered that his feelings weren't the same. He wasn't feeling that same sensation, and as interested as he might be in seeing his erection, he didn't really long to touch it either. He clamped his mouth tight.
Wolfram must have interpreted it as disgust or some other form of repulsion, because he immediately sunk into the water. Yuuri inwardly smacked himself. How could he be so stupid as to make him think that he was rejecting him? But maybe it was better this way. If he couldn't give Wolfram want he wanted wasn't it better for him to break off the engagement like Greta had suggested? Wolfram had floated to the other side of the bathing pool. It couldn't have been more than a few feet, yet it looked immeasurably far. He extended his hand toward him, but Wolfram had his eyes closed and didn't notice. Yuuri closed his hand as if meaning to trap the prince within it. He really didn't know what he should do.
A few days later Gwendal called Yuuri into his office, scowl in place deeper than usual, a stronger contrast to the offendingly cute, knit animals placed across his desk. Yuuri frowned, wondering what he had done this time. He had been keeping up with both paperwork and his studies, so he couldn't think of any reason for Gwendal to be displeased with him.
"Hi, Gwendal," he said lamely with a raised hand.
The creases in Gwendal's forehead somehow expanded, causing Yuuri to shriek audibly. "Yuuri, what are your intentions with my brother?"
"Intentions?" Yuuri could feel sweat threatening on his brow.
"Do you intent to marry him? If not, I would ask that you annul this engagement immediately. As the king, it is your duty to marry and continue the royal line. As for Wolfram, the longer this engagement lags, the harder it will be for him to find a new partner."
Yuuri imagined a shadowy man embracing Wolfram and his stomach flopped. "I…" He didn't like the idea of anyone else mattering more to Wolfram than him. Yet…he still didn't feel that way. "Do I need to decide right this second? Can I think about it?"
Gwendal glared. "You have had seven years to think on this matter." He sighed. "Regardless, that is acceptable. But, please try to decide in a timely manner."
"Y-yes." Yuuri fled, uneasy about his unavoidable conversation with Wolfram.
Yuuri waited for Wolfram to return from his bath, since he hoped that it would put him in a docile mood. Sure enough, Wolfram returned humming a lullaby they used to sing to Greta. He turned to the closet, set his neatly folded, dirty clothes on the bottom. Yuuri fidgeted, still nervous about facing Wolfram. He wasn't sure if he was ready to handle rejection. "Hey, Wolf. Can we talk?"
"Hmm?" Wolfram turned. His hair was shiny and fresh looking. Yuuri gulped. "What is it?"
"What is it you want, Wolf?"
Wolfram tilted his head. "What do you mean?"
"What do you want from me?"
"Oh." He lowered his head, fingering the sleeve of his nightgown. "Obviously, I want to marry you."
"Yeah…But what does that mean to you? How would that be different than how we are now?"
Wolfram's eyes flashed. "Are you being serious right now? Of course it would be different. You would be mine for one."
Yuuri took a deep breath before admitting in a tiny voice, "but I'm already yours."
"What? I didn't quite hear that." It wasn't sarcastic, Wolfram truly looked unaware. He came to the bed, sitting down beside him, though he kept a suitable distance between them.
Instead of repeating himself, the double black asked, "Are you unhappy?"
The blond's eyes glinted again. "Whatever gave you that impression?"
Yuuri held his hands up in surrender. "Nothing. I just don't want to hold you here."
"Wimp! I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be."
"But you still want more."
"Well, yeah. I am a man, you know?"
"I see." Yuuri thought on that. He knew what he meant, but he didn't think it was something he could give. To be honest, though he had looked upon the beauty of women often enough, he had never once thought much on what relationships truly entailed. That is, not until meeting Wolfram. An image of a nightgown-clad Wolfram clinging to him flashed in his mind, and a small smile formed on his face. "Wolf, all I really know is that I want to stay with you, probably forever. Is that enough?"
The blond narrowed his eyes. "Are you just trying to wimp out of this? Are you still too much of a coward to say you love me?"
"I do love you. What I am unsure of is if it would make you happy."
His voice held a twinge of hurt, "And why would you think it wouldn't? Have I not yet made my feelings perfectly clear?"
Yuuri spoke softly, much like he would to an animal he was afraid of rousing. "Because…I don't want to…have sex with you."
"Are you still claiming that you aren't "gay"?" Wolfram shouted.
"No," Yuuri scratched his cheek, "er, yes? I'm not gay…but I don't really think I'm straight anymore either."
"What do you mean? You can't mean that you don't like anyone."
"I like you. I'm just not attracted to you."
"You mean…You haven't wanted to have sex with anyone?"
Yuuri looked down. "Yes. I want to be with you, just not in that way."
"Oh…" The blonde was silent for a long while. "Let's sleep on it."
"Yeah," the king replied with strained cheeriness.
They settled on the bed like they usually would, but Yuuri couldn't relax. The image of the blond clinging to him refused to leave his mind. "Wolf?" he asked hesitantly.
"Hmm?"
"Can I hug you?"
The candles had already been blown out, but he imaged him with a hand covering his mouth as a pink flush sat on his cheeks. He regretted not being able to see such a pretty sight. He could hear his head brushing against the pillow as he nodded. Yuuri scooted a few inches closer, spread his arm over his chest, and sighed in contentment. Wolfram's head nuzzled against his arm and he breathed in deeply. It was extremely calming, and the king lamented the fact that he had waited so long to do this.
The next morning was slightly awkward. Wolfram kept sending glances his way, something the others obviously did not overlooked, especially Lady Celi. "My, Wolfie, has your love finally come into full bloom?" she teased over breakfast.
"Uh!" The blush on the blond's face was a dead giveaway, and Greta gasped dropping her fork with a clatter.
"Are you serious? Yuuri?" she asked with hopeful eyes. Gwendal gave an equally intent stare.
"Perhaps. It is up to Wolfram."
Greta scrunched her forehead. "But he's always loved you, Yuuri."
"I know." Yuuri smiled his instructional-father smile. "Relationships aren't that simple."
She pouted, crossing her arms. "I know that! I already have a boyfriend, you know!"
Yuuri frowned. "Don't remind me."
"Oh, stop, Yuuri," Wolfram chided, taking a bite of pie. "You can't treat her like a child forever."
"That's funny coming from you."
"Yeah, well I do know a thing or two about humans. The real question is when you will grow up."
"Hey! I think I've become a fairly dignified king by now."
"A king perhaps."
"And ask Greta. I'm a great father, aren't I?"
"Yep! The best!" She smiled sincerely.
"That's not what I'm talking about."
"Then what?"
"Never mind."
After breakfast, Yuuri dutifully headed to his office to begin on paperwork. Now that he worked diligently—like he was supposed to—the workload had significantly decreased. The only reason the piles used to build up so much was due to his half-ass work effort. The pile was already half-completed by the time Gwendal entered the office.
"Hard at work, I see."
Yuuri's hand, in the middle of signing his name, slipped, spreading ink in a messy stain across the paper. "Yeah," he answered lamely.
"There has been development between you and my brother?"
"Uh, we talked. I have decided that I do intend to marry him. But…I'm waiting to see if that's what Wolfram wants as well."
"I…see. We shall wait then."
"Yeah," Yuuri repeated lamely. Luckily, Gwendal left things at that. He was glad everyone cared so much about their relationship developing, but it wasn't something he wanted to discuss.
Paperwork kept Yuuri occupied until lunchtime and training kept Wolfram busy until dinner, so yet again, they didn't have a chance to talk in privacy until night had fallen. They chose to bath separately, and Yuuri lingered there in the warm water composing himself. He wanted Wolfram to accept him no matter what, but he also wanted him to decide for himself what would make him happy, so he needed to be prepared for rejection. It wasn't like Wolfram would be forced out of his life just because the engagement ended either. They would continue being best friends no matter what happened. At least that's what he hoped.
When he returned to their room, Wolfram was nestled on the bed with a book. He closed the door silently, trying not to disturb him. He made it to the closet before he heard the book snap shut. "Yuuri, we should talk about this."
"I know." He placed his clothes in the bottom of the closet. "Just tell me straight out how the idea makes you feel." He walked to the bed and sat on its edge. "Could you live without getting everything you want from me?"
"Let me make one thing perfectly clear. I have been living without what I wanted from you for seven years. Don't think that I am that petty. Anyway, you have already given me some of what I wanted. You became a greater king than I would ever have believed. You gave me a wonderful little girl. And you became my best friend. You let me stay by your side, and marrying you would ensure that I could remain doing so. Of course I want to marry you, Yuuri."
"Wolfram…" he paused, unsure of what to say. He still worried that one day Wolfram would wake up resenting him for forcing him into a life of celibacy. "Hearing that made me really happy. But, have you really thought about this?"
"Yes. I am already quite accustomed to taking care of myself," he huffed as if it should be obvious.
Yuuri smiled in relief. This was the Wolfram he loved. "You're really cute when you act like a brat, you know."
Pink dusted on his cheeks making him look even cuter. "Y-yuuri." The king scooted across the bed to his side and pulled the blushing blond against him. "Then when should set the date for?"
"As soon as possible."
When they told everyone the next morning over breakfast, there was a barrage of exclamations. Gunter cried, Greta and Celi shrieked in glee, and the maids all began to whisper heatedly amongst themselves. Conrad smiled silently, and the hard creases in Gwendal's brow relaxed for a change. Royal weddings usually took months to plan, or so Yuuri was told, but considering their lengthy engagement, everyone agreed they could manage in just one month. The date was set and invitations were filled out.
Realizing that he needed to tell his family back on Earth made Yuuri's stomach flitter. It was a light sensation, not quite excitement, but not quite nervousness either. Wolfram's hand clasped his, as if he understood completely. "Everything will be fine. I'll be with you."
As was typical, upon their arrival his mother called to them that curry would soon be on the table and that they should dry off quickly so that it didn't get cold. When they exited the bathroom, they were welcomed by his parents and Shouri who were already seated. Yuuri waited until after seating himself to break the news.
"We have an announcement to make." The three of them looked at him intensely, and somehow he knew that his mother already knew what he was about to say. "We're getting married on the 23rd your time. I would love it if you would all be there."
His mother, who had already named Wolfram as her future son-in-law, clapped her hands proudly, but his father wasn't as enthused. "Of course we'll come, son, but this is a bit out of the blue."
"They have been engaged for years," Shouri explained.
"Has it really been that long already? When did it become consensual?"
Yuuri laughed awkwardly. "Technically, two days ago."
Shouri looked troubled. "Two days ago? Yet you're getting married on the 23rd?"
Yuuri scratched his head. "Like you said, we've been engaged for years, so why wait?"
"It just seems so sudden."
"I'm just confused, son. I didn't think that you liked guys."
"I don't like guys. And I don't think I like girls either. It's just, I love Wolfram. I want to be with him always."
His father's and Shouri's expressions relaxed, though his father still looked confused. Yuuri waited for him to press him further on the matter, but instead he popped a bite of potato into his mouth. "Well, I'm glad for you."
Since they had already gone so long without kissing, they decided to wait until the wedding ceremony. When they did kiss, it was the most perfect moment in Yuuri's life. The only way he could think to describe it as was coming home. Wolfram's lips were soft and warm against his own, and his arms around his back filled him with a euphoric warmth. When the audience began a moderate applause, he broke the kiss. He pressed their foreheads together, not ready to let the moment fully end.
Wolfram nuzzled his head against his with a giggle. "Amazing."
"Was that your first kiss, too?" Yuuri asked as they began to make their way down the aisle.
"Promise you won't laugh?" His husband nodded. "When I was little—in my twenties—there was this boy who was always being picked on. He hung around me all the time since everyone knew not to mess with the maoh's son. I had just felt bad for the kid; we weren't even really friends or anything. One day, out of nowhere he plopped one on me. I was so mad, I burned a hole through to his underwear." Yuuri chuckled. "I said not to laugh," he said solemnly.
"Sorry, I was just imagining you as a little haughty child."
Wolfram bumped him with his shoulder. "Yeah, well, I'm sure you weren't an angel child either."
Yuuri continued laughing. "You can say that again. I used to take advantage of Shouri since he doted on me so much. I must have robbed him of half his allowance at least."
They had reached the dance floor by this time, so Yuuri pulled him into a waltz stance. They swayed with the music, forgetting everything around them. "I can't believe I'm the reason we didn't do this sooner."
"Yep, it's all your fault. You owe me one." But his eyes were soft, so Yuuri leaned in for another kiss. The pit of his stomach warmed, and he wished that they could stay that way forever. Eventually, their daughter interrupted them, though.
"Oh, I'm just so happy! You're finally married!" She hopped up and down, much like she used to do as a child. "Can I dance too?"
"Of course," Wolfram said, turning so that they could form an odd little tringle. They clasped hands, and began to spin in a form-free circle. Soon they were laughing in joy as the rest of the room stared at them. It probably wasn't slightly to see the royal family acting so uncouth, but Yuuri couldn't care less right then.
While Yuuri had wondered about what he and Wolfram might do that evening, he already knew they wouldn't be having sex. Of course, no one else knew this since they hadn't felt it necessary—or in good taste for that matter—to divulge their personal intimacies, so Yuuri had been forced to wheedle his way out of awkward sexual conversations. The worst was Murata, who tried to slip him some condoms and lube out of sight of the rest of the crowd.
"Murata!" Yuuri shrieked, pushing the items back into Murata's hand. His friend blinked at him surprised.
"What's this Shibuya? You can't tell me you won't be needing these in a few hours."
"That is exactly what I'm saying."
Murata's glasses glinted. "I never suspected you would be so shy when it came to these things."
Yuuri flung his arms about. "I'm not being shy," he said, though he could feel his face heating. "We just don't have that sort of relationship."
"Seriously, Shibuya, you can stop now. The whole kingdom knows you are married as well as what it is that married couples do."
The king covered his face with his hand, exasperated. "Murata, just listen to me. I don't want to have sex with him."
"You married him out of pity? But you looked so happy earlier."
"Jeez." He was beginning to get annoyed by this conversation. "I love him. We just aren't going to have sex. Now, I would appreciate it if we ended this conversation immediately."
Murata started at him. Then he gasped. "Oh, I've heard of this! You are asexual."
"What?"
"Obviously you aren't unattracted to him specifically. I mean, come on, anyone would want to do a beauty like that-"
"Ah! Don't talk about my husband like that."
The Great Sage laughed. "So innocent. Anyway, you aren't attracted to anyone, isn't that right?"
Yuuri fidgeted. "Yeah…" He almost felt like he was admitting to some crime.
"See? So, you are asexual. That's cool I guess. I'm just surprised Bielefeld is okay with that."
"He said that he was."
His friend nodded in understanding. "Well, if you ever need any help keeping him satisfied, let me know."
"Eww. Remind me why we are friends."
"Because you were the one that decided to help me back then. And now, you need me on your side."
"So it's my own fault. Good to know."
"Haha. Anyway, you may not be getting any action, but I'm gonna see if I can't get some. Catch ya later." Yuuri just shook his head as he walked away.
Back in their bedchamber, the newlyweds sat on their knees across from each other. "So," Wolfram began, fidgeting, "what do you want to do?"
"What do you want to do?"
"Yuuri…" He gave him a distressed look.
"Alright. Can we kiss some more?"
Instead of answering, Wolfram acted. Hands found shoulders, and lips found lips. Yuuri sunk against him, and the king consort reacted with vigor. He pushed his tongue forward, and Yuuri let it in graciously. Wolfram shuddered, but the double black remained mostly still. The blond pulled back panting. "Sorry."
"No, it's fine. Sorry."
Wolfram flopped back with a sigh. "Damn. This is so stupid."
"Yeah," Yuuri agreed, lying back as well.
"We'll be okay, though."
"Yeah," Yuuri repeated before draping himself around his husband, who sighed contentedly, nuzzling his head against his chest. Yuuri kissed the side of his head and whispered, "I love you."
"Love you too," he sighed back, wrapping an arm around his side. They lay there in suspended time until sleep eventually found them.