CHAPTER ONE: What a Piece of Junk

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Author's Note:

First, this has been written by Winged as a partial reward for Freud finally sitting down to watch the entire Star Wars trilogies. (The other half of the reward is that Freud got to go see the new movie with me, wheeee!)

Second, I've been careful to ensure there are NO spoilers for The Force Awakens!

Enjoy!

— Winged

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A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away…

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Anyone within the right circles knew that Opal Koboi's smugglers flew bolt ships, a slang term based on the expression "a bucket of bolts" due to a focus on functionality rather than aesthetics. Still, when Artemis entered the agreed-upon hangar, he couldn't help a flinch at the ship that awaited him. He'd never been all that interested in studying ship schematics, but even he could tell that this one had been cobbled together out of scraps. If it weren't considerably more risky to remain on-planet, he would never step foot onboard.

"Don't even say it," called a voice from within the ship. "The Millennium Centaur is the fastest ship in this galaxy, whether she looks it or not. You don't like her, you don't have to ride, but my contact says you're in a real hurry to blow this popsicle…"

The pilot's words faded as he ducked around the ship and got his first look at the passenger he'd been instructed to carry. "Oh hell."

Artemis was too well trained to let his own shock show. After an almost imperceptible pause, he gestured around him. "Interesting choice of words, considering we are currently standing on a planet that many believe to be the physical embodiment of hell itself." He dropped his hand. "Hello, Beckett."

His younger brother scowled, squaring his shoulders defensively. "What, did Myles put you up to this? Or Dad? Don't tell me that after all these years you decided to track me down on your own."

"Actually," said Artemis, "I had no idea you were to be my ride. I swear it on the Force."

Beckett snorted at the oath but some of the tension left his body. He swung back towards his ship, placing a hand upon the hull. "So you're the cargo. Figures. I'll bet anything Opal knew when she set this up."

"Undoubtedly," agreed Artemis, making a mental note to have words with the smugglers' leader after he'd gotten out of the current situation. "And to be fair, I'm only part of the cargo. The others are meeting us here."

"Others," repeated Beckett. "Great."

He climbed the ramp and disappeared inside the ship without another word. Artemis didn't blame him. While he and Beckett held similarly negative views of their father's business, their opinions differed greatly on how to deal with it. Artemis had crafted a double-life, playing the part of the complicit company heir while secretly acting to bring the banking clan down; Beckett had gotten his hands on the fastest ship he could find and then simply disappeared.

Apparently, Artemis mused, disappearing meant signing up as a pilot in the Koboi smuggling operation.

A spattering of blaster shots sounded in the distance and, at almost the same time, Artemis's comm came to life. "Coming in hot, Arty!" warned Holly, sounding breathless over the line, "That pilot had better be ready to leave now."

He activated his mic. "Understood." Then, crossing the hangar in quick strides, he called into the ship, "Beckett, time for the start-up sequence. We need to go."

There was an indecipherable grumble before Beckett responded, "I thought we were still waiting for someone."

"We are. They'll be here," said Artemis, staring at the sky.

-x-

The hangar was directly ahead, according to the blinking light on her helmet's map, but Holly was beginning to worry that she might not make it. Her mechanical wings were starting to give under the extra weight, slowly dragging her towards the ground and the hostile natives below. She strained upward, listening anxiously as the engine's motor sputtered.

"Maybe you should have left me behind," said her passenger, correctly assuming that he was the extra weight. "It wouldn't have been so bad. I mean, now that the other demons know about my magic powers, I wouldn't have lasted long. But at least they'd kill me quickly for fear that I'd heal myself. That's something, right?"

"No one is getting left behind to be slaughtered," Holly told him firmly. She checked the map again and was gratified to see that they'd almost made it. "Just a little bit farther."

"Just a little bit?" No1 brightened. "Have I said thank you for the rescue yet? Because I am incredibly gratified for your assistance, you know."

"I know," said Holly, hardly listening anymore. She was trying to estimate whether they'd reach the hangar before falling within reach of the demons below. "Come on, come on." With a twitch of her finger, she activated her comm again. "Arty, almost there!"

"We're ready to go," he responded, the words muffled by a ship's engine in the background.

They were close - incredibly close - but ultimately, not quite close enough. Holly felt her wings sputter again and knew she wouldn't make it. Giving up on height, she turned the pull of gravity into one last spurt of forward momentum before the motor gave out and sent them tumbling to the ground. Untrained as he was, No1 was still able to manipulate the Force at the last minute to prevent a hard landing. The two stumbled but managed to stay on their feet.

Two buildings now stood between them and the spaceport.

"Almost there," Holly promised No1, taking his hand to pull him into a run. Plaster sprayed from a wall on their right as a blaster shot narrowly missed his shoulder. Still holding tight to No1, Holly used her left hand to fire twice over her shoulder in response. There wasn't a chance of hitting their pursuers, not unless the demons were particularly slow and stupid (and evidence clearly said otherwise), but she hoped it would at least distract them.

She didn't dare look, but it sounded like her trick had worked. The demons fell back to regroup while peppering the air around her with blaster shots. That was just fine with her; the demons had proven to be just as bad as stormtroopers at aiming.

Unfortunately, while the shots failed to strike either her or No1, there was a larger target directly ahead: the wall of the space port. Riddled with impacts, the already crumbling plaster gave out, the wall teetering briefly before deciding that it did indeed want to fall.

There was no time to avoid it. Holly slammed into No1, tackling him to the ground and curling into a protective ball. The air whooshed as the wall barrelled towards her -

There was no impact. Puzzled, Holly peered up to see the wall suspended less than a hand above her head. And in the gap between ground and hovering wall, she saw Artemis standing in front of the junkiest ship she had ever seen with his hands outstretched and his face strained.

She pushed No1 ahead of her, the two of them scrambling to clear the wall before Artemis's strength gave out. It crashed into the ground behind her, dust clouding the air as Holly regained her feet.

"Time to go," said Artemis, gesturing to the ship's ramp.

There was no time to argue. Even as they ran aboard, the demons had started to shoot again. Artemis, following behind the other two, slammed his hand against the control pad to close the ramp and shouted to their pilot to take off. Obligingly, the ship tilted upward, flinging the trio into a heap against the wall.

"Take off!" echoed an exhilarated No1. "Ascend! Hightail! Clear out!"

Despite having known the young warlock for less than a day, Artemis and Holly were both well aware of his habit of listing synonyms while under pressure. Ignoring him, they checked each other over for serious wounds before making their way to the cockpit.

"We're off," said Beckett happily, briefly forgetting brotherly enmity in the wake of a successful launch.

"Excellent job, man, as per usual," agreed his copilot. He turned around to greet the passengers, saw who they were, and spat, "We flew all the way to hell for you?"

And here Artemis had thought his day couldn't get any worse. "The planet's name is Hybras, not Hell," he said stiffly in return before turning to his brother. "With that in mind: What in Hybras's name did you do to end up with Jon Spiro on your ship?!"

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Once Beckett had guided the ship into hyperspace, everyone gathered to clear the air. Holly and Artemis sat on one side of the table while Beckett and Spiro presented a united front across from them. No1 noted that this was not a confrontation he wanted to get caught in the middle of, and did his best to make himself scarce by acquainting himself with the monkey-droid currently dangling from the ceiling on the other side of the room.

"Now that the ship is in hyperspace," Artemis began, "Explain."

It had been years since Beckett had answered to his older brother. Reluctantly, he said, "I found Spiro while outrunning a planetary embargo a while back. Best copilot I've ever had, so I offered him a permanent position as soon as we got out of that particular mess." Pointedly, he added, "There's no one I would rather have at my back."

"No one more likely to shoot you in the back," corrected Artemis darkly. "Isn't that what happened, Spiro?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," said Spiro in a matching tone. "You're the one who sliced off my thumb."

"He deserved it," declared Holly, "A whole planetary system is under Mudd control because of Jon Spiro."

"Also," said Artemis sourly, "That was after you stole from me. Twice."

Beckett had lit up, leaning forward over the table in glee. "You sliced off his thumb? He stole from you?" He clapped Spiro on the back. "I don't blame you, man. I'm sure my brother deserved it."

Artemis opened his mouth to argue. Correctly assuming that this would lead nowhere productive, Holly stamped hard on his foot and cut in, "Enough of the past. Can we trust the two of you to get us to the Haven Temple? Because I would have no problem locking you both in the brig and flying this junk heap myself if I thought you might cause a situation."

Affronted, Spiro started to reach for his blaster, but Beckett simply laughed. "We'll get you there in one piece. And then — no offence, brother — I hope to never see you again."

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Opal was lying on her back in her reclining hover chair in the centre of the study when Cudgeon arrived to go over the daily reports. Even with her eyes closed, she could tell who had joined her. Silkily, she asked, "Have the Kaminoans provided any information regarding the suppression of the goblin rebellion?"

"Not yet. They're still claiming they had nothing to do with it."

Opal frowned. "It was clearly the work of a clone army. What use could they have in denying -?" She sat up. "Unless it really wasn't them. Everyone knows how jealously the Kaminoans guard the secrets to cloning. If someone else has gained access to such technology, it's worrying that we haven't heard of it."

"You think the Dark Side…?"

Opal waved her hand dismissively. "Fairy tales. No, I'm afraid the Trade Federation… or maybe the Banking Clan…" She pursed her lips, considering the different angles.

While he waited, Cudgeon inspected the wall of screens displaying their compound security. Opal finally opened her eyes, grinned, and asked, "Anyway. I presume our package was lifted from Hybras without a hitch?"

Cudgeon rolled his eyes. "Relatively, yes. Although it seems there has been some drama between our pilots and the package. Did you really send Beckett Fowl to pick up his brother? With Jon Spiro as his copilot?"

The fact that Opal didn't say anything was answer enough. Cudgeon continued, exasperated, "You know that's going to cause problems."

"It solves more problems than it causes, actually. I believe the family drama will distract Artemis enough that he won't realize we've changed the destination on him until it's too late."

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[End of Chapter One]