(Chapter 9)

SAM: "That was amazing! I can't believe you came for me!"

CAT (touching Sam's restraints): "Where's the key to this thing?"

SAM: "It's on the rag."

CAT: "Gross."

(laugh track)

Cat picks up the key from the rag that was earlier in Sam's mouth and unlocks the padlocks from Sam's restraints. When the last one is undone, Leather-clad-Sam jumps up and holds Cat's face with both hands.

SAM: "Cat! You saved my LIFE!"

CAT: "Oh, not so dim-witted now, am I?"

SAM: "You know, everything you said would happen actually happened. You knew I'd get way too obsessed with the show. You knew someone was gonna 'tricker' me badly..."

Cat smiles shyly.

SAM: "...And you knew you were gonna be the one to save me."

CAT: "And your nipples. Don't forget your nipples."

SAM (shaking head slowly): "...I dunno how to read you, kid. But somewhere beneath that pink, jumbled mess of linguistic confusion and bibble, there lies a deep, deep understanding of the human condition."

Cat just makes a ditzy face, blinking.

SAM (pointing, smiling): "Exactly."

(laugh track)

Sam hugs Cat.

SAM: "Thanks for rescuing me, Cat. You were really brave today."

CAT: "Kay kay."

SAM: "Ooh..." (makes a little uncomfortable face, putting a hand to her hip)

SAM: "Mmm. Do you, by any chance, know how to get a vibrating egg out of your butt?"

CAT: "I think you have to wait for it to hatch."

SAM: "Hmm. Makes sense."

(laugh track)

SAM: "You know, we're a real odd copule. But it works."

CAT: "We're like Mork and Mindy."

SAM: "Balki and Larry."

CAT: "Obama and Biden."

(laugh track)

SAM: "... Xena and Gabrielle?"

CAT: "I fucking hate that show."

(laugh track)

(Sam nods her head, puts her arm around Cat's shoulders, and together step over Slash's body and walk out the room as that "oh oh oh oh" ending music plays.)

THE END.