Colourless Pain

Second Half

"H-huh? Wh-what do you mean 'who is it?'. Don't you recognize me?" I asked him in a shock, I was about to cry. I couldn't believe what he had just said.

"Oh, it's Kise-kun. I… I didn't want to… Haven't you received my text?" he said.

"No, I mean. I probably did, but I haven't looked at my phone since last night. Why…" I wanted to ask him why, but at the same I didn't know what exactly I wanted to ask him. He was avoiding my gaze.

"Kise-kun, I… I cannot see you… anymore…" he said finally.

"Wh-what? Why?!" I felt like my heart was about to break into pieces, but then he started speaking again.

"I just… can't…" he was looking down, his voice seemed to be empty, without any emotions.

"Why?! Tell me why! Don't you wanna see me anymore, Kurokocchi?!" I was about to cry.

"No! I just… simply… I… cannot see you… see you or anyone… or anything else, Kise-kun…" was what he said before he started crying.

"I think I should clarify this. Kise-san…" the doctor turned to me.

"Y-yes?"

"Kuroko-san… he has lost his eyesight, there wasn't anything that could've been done to save it; it was already too late. I'm sorry." he finished talking and bowed down to me as if he wanted to apologise.

It took me some moments until I understood what I had been told.

But after I realized it, I looked back at Kurokocchi who was still crying; his face buried in his hands as to not wanting to show anyone. I slowly started walking towards the bed he was sitting in and sat down next to him. Tears were already dropping down my cheeks. As if the doctor noticed he'd be a bother, he slowly left the room without saying anything, only leaving Kurokocchi and me behind. And then Kurokocchi wanted to say something.

"I… Kise-kun… I'm…" he was trying to fight against the tears and wanted to say something, but his crying seemed to be stronger and didn't let him speak up clearly.

"Kurokocchi, I…" I wanted to say something, but I didn't know what.

"K-kise-kun… I'm… I'm s-sorry…"

"H-huh?" I was confused, I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me.

"I… I promised you to look at your painting… and… and now, I-I'll n-never… be able to look at any paintings you make a-and…" he started crying even more than before.

"Kurokocchi you idiot!" I said to him and hugged him with all my might while I was crying as much as he was.

"K-Kise-kun?"

"Don't say stupid things like that, don't apologize for things like that. You don't have to worry about anything. I'll be there for you as long as it takes, as long as I live. I'll help you through everything, you're my one and only Kurokocchi and I'll never leave you alone, I'll protect you. We'll manage somehow, so don't worry!" I said the only thing I could think of: the truth.

And just like that we kept on hugging each other and crying for some time…

Some months had passed since the incident with Kurokocchi. More or less everything had returned to how it was before. Truth be said, Kurokocchi had a hard time dealing with his new handicap, but he managed; we managed to go through it together. There were a lot of things he couldn't do anymore, there were a lot of things he had to learn anew, lot of things he had to do differently than before. But there were also new things he couldn't do before, or rather, that he couldn't do completely or to a full extent. Nonetheless there were a lot of things that didn't change at all. Our friends were still our friends, not treating me nor Kurokocchi any different than they did before. We kept on eating lunch together and we kept on laughing together; that was the same as ever. And I too kept on painting like I used to, but ironically that was one of the toughest changes in itself.

I always had painted for Kurokocchi's sake, but now that he couldn't look at my paintings anymore, something was missing. An essential part of why I painted wasn't there anymore. He didn't come to the art club room since then, he didn't want me to tell him what I was working on, he closed himself off completely in that regard.

"Kise-kun, when you come to hate something you liked, it is incredibly painful." he told me with a bittersweet smile on his face while seemingly looking me into the eyes. That was his answer when I had asked him why he wouldn't come to the art club room anymore. And I did understand what he meant. I could imagine how it must've felt to not be able to do something you once loved so dearly. And that's exactly what happened to Kurokocchi. Losing his eyesight meant not being able to look at the paintings he liked so much. It made me feel powerless and helpless. I couldn't do anything to help him.

One day Kurokocchi had to go to the hospital for a check-up regarding his eyes and thus couldn't eat lunch with the rest of us.

"Huuuuuuhhhh…" I sighed loudly.

"Myou 'kay, Kishe?" Aominecchi asked me while rice fell off from his mouth. He had the bad habit of talking with his mouth full of food whenever possible.

"I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't spit your lunch into my face like it were some Olympic sports." I said.

"He's right, Ahomine." Kagamicchi said.

"Oi, no one asked you, Bakagami." Aominecchi replied and I sighed again.

"Those are some pretty serious sighs, something's wrong?" Takaocchi asked me. Despite his rather humorous personality he often was the most serious one.

"It's, in fact, about Kuroko, right?" Midorimacchi nailed it.

"…yes."

"What's wrong?" Kagamicchi asked.

"I just don't know what I should do. It's like I make him sad if I continue painting, but I don't want that." I explained.

"Then how about showing him one of your paintings, Kise." Takaocchi continued.

"Takao, Kuroko's blind, how, in fact, should he do that? Are you stupid?" Midorimacchi had a point.

"You don't understand Shin-chan. Kuroko may have lost his ability to see, but… Don't they say your other senses grow more sensitive when you lose one? Wouldn't that mean his other senses are better than ever now? I don't know about the sense of smell and sense of taste, but I'm pretty sure we can do something about the sense of touch and sense of hearing. How about it?" he stopped telling us his idea and was waiting for an answer.

"I… I'm not sure I follow you." I said confused.

"Don't worry about the hearing, I'll call Himuro and we'll arrange something. Did you think I became the president of our school's music club and leader of the band out of pure luck? Haha, I'll show you what I can do!" was the last thing he said before he stood up, grabbed me by my arm and started running, pulling me along.

Soon I understood what he had planned and after a week it was done and I wanted to let Kurokocchi know about it.

"Say Kurokocchi?"

"Yes Kise-kun?" even though he couldn't read with his eyes anymore, he was still reading books, they just had to be written in Braille. I was always thankful that the other members of the literature club didn't abandon him, I thought that would've been too much for him.

"Would you come to the art club room after school today? I need to sho… I need to let you know something." I always tried not to use the wrong words, even though I knew that was ridiculous, but I just couldn't help.

"Kise-kun, you know, I…" he wanted to refuse already, but I didn't intend to give in.

"Please! It's really important for me! Only this once, would you do it for me, Kurokocchi?" I asked him as I took his hands into mine. He stopped looking at the book he was reading and turned towards me.

"Kise-kun, your face…" he said while stretching out his arm. He always said that when he wanted to touch my face, his new way of 'looking into my eyes'. So I moved my head into his direction and helped him put his left hand on my face.

"You're smiling." he said when he touched my cheek, and I was indeed.

"Okay then, I'll come." he said finally.

"Really? Thank you!" I said happily.

"But I have club activities today, so I'll go afterwards, okay?"

"That's okay! Should I wait for you and pick you u-"

"Not necessary, Kise-kun. I'd find the way to you even with closed eyes, hehe." he smiled kindly and kissed me on my cheek.

"Kurokocchiiiii…"

"Until then." and we parted ways.

Only a few hours later I was waiting in the art club room for Kurokocchi to arrive there. Everything was ready. And then out of nowhere the door opened.

"Are you here, Kise-kun?" he asked into the room.

"I'm here Kurokocchi!" I tried to speak loud so he could sense where I was standing. It seemed to work; he smiled and started walking into my direction, always using his blindman's stick to look out for obstacles in his way.

"I'm here, Kise-kun. So, what is it?" he was standing right next to me.

"Give me this, sit down and just listen." I said to him while I pushed a button on the remote control of the radio and music started playing.

"Oh…" he noticed the music and closed his eyes. I didn't say anything, I just wanted him to listen to it. After a while he started talking again.

"Kise-kun, what is this?"

"It's a song Takaocchi and the others from his band made, they wanted to make a song that would fit this painting." I said.

"Wh-what painting?"

"This one…" I took the painting and handed it to him.

"Kise-kun, I cannot…"

"You don't have to. Touch it."

"Touch?" he seemed confused but he did as I said and as soon as his hands touched the canvas his eyes widened.

"This is a painting I made with different kinds of colours. I tried to apply each colour differently on the canvas so that it would turn out to have different patterns for different sections of the painting. The result isn't a painting to look at but a painting to feel with one's own two hands. It's a painting for you to look at it in your own way."

"K-Kise-kun…" a small tear formed in Kurokocchi's left eye.

"Do you like it?" I asked him.

"I do, Kise-kun. And… if I'm not mistaken…" he was still feeling the surface of the painting.

"Yes?"

"If I'm not mistaken, you painted a person?"

"Right. I painted you again."

"But…"

"Even though you cannot see it, I still wanted you to know that you're the most beautiful person for me, and I don't want you to forget it. So I showed it to you one more time, with this painting. Aaaand…" I took a little box out of my pocket and out of it two rings. The music was still playing in the background.

"Gimme your hand, Kurokocchi." I said to him; he had started to cry by then, but he looked happy.

"K-Kise-kun…"

"This ring is a symbol. It shows I'll be with you, forever. If you want it or not. So be sure to always wear it, I'll wear mine too, see?" I put the ring on his finger and pressed my hand into his so that he could feel the ring I was wearing.

"I…" he wanted to say something.

"But forgive me, the rings aren't that pretty, I took cheap ones since you can't see anyways, hehe."

"Kise-kun."

"Yes?"

"Your face."

"Sure Kurok—ouch!" just as I was moving my head into his direction, he flicked my forehead.

"That was a joke Kurokocchiiii…"

"I know." he said as he started laughing while tears were flowing down his face.

"You…"

"Kise-kun, your face." he wanted to touch my face again, but I was slightly scared. I moved my head nonetheless and then he kissed me.

"I love you Kurokocchi, no matter what, don't forget that." I said while hugging him.

"I love you too, Kise-kun." he said with a happy voice.

We stayed like that for some time, the music was still playing and we didn't want to move or go away from our togetherness. But then Kurokocchi started talking again, still hugging me.

"Kise-kun, what's this painting's name?"

"Colourful happiness."