December Eighteenth ~ Seven Days until Christmas

"Just think," Brittany murmured, smoothing her hand over Santana's stomach under her shirt. "By Christmas next year, we'll have a baby."

"Maybe," Santana answered, stroking her hand through Brittany's hair. "There's nothing in there yet." They were lying together on the couch, Santana sprawled out on her back, with Brittany's head on Santana's chest.

"I know, but there could be really soon."

"December 29," Santana answered with a smile. That was the day that they were going to the doctor to get everything they needed to get Santana pregnant on that day. It was a long time coming, this baby. They had been married almost five years, now, and hoping for a baby for the last two and a half. As soon as Brittany had graduated from vet school and gotten a pretty great position at Bear Creek Animal Hospital, they had bought a house in nearby Hayden. The house had two spare bedrooms, even with Santana's office, and that was all it took for them to start thinking about having some babies.

At first, they had planned to adopt. The application process felt long and stressful. There were interviews and references and background checks and a home study, but they were approved. Then they went on the list for all of the agencies in their area. Santana and Brittany had told the agencies that they didn't care about race or ethnicity or gender or special needs or anything like that, they just wanted a baby or a toddler, anyone who was under two years old. So, they waited and waited. A year later, they had their home study redone, and then they waited some more. And now, with their home study close to running out for the second time, and not even a call about a baby, Santana and Brittany had decided to give up and focus on making their own.

Santana had begged Brittany to be the one to carry the baby, and Brittany had relented easily, wanting Santana to have everything that she could ever dream of. They had seen a doctor, gotten Santana's cycle tracked and now, in about ten days, they'd be coming home with a cooler thing and a needleless syringe and getting down to business making a baby. After waiting for so long, it was more exciting than either one could really say and, in the days since they had officially worked out the probably date that Santana would ovulate, Brittany and Santana had been particularly clingy, wanting to be together as much as possible.

So when Brittany's phone rang from the coffee table just out of her reach, she almost didn't get it. It was only Santana's gentle reminder that it could be her doctor that had her reaching for the phone. The number wasn't on that she recognized, but since it was already in her hand, Brittany pressed the button and held the phone to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, is this Santana or Brittany Pierce?" came the harassed voice on the other end.

"Yes, this is. Brittany Pierce, that is," Brittany said, sitting up and shrugging at Santana's questioning look. It didn't quite feel right to be draped over her wife when the voice on the other end sounded so serious.

"Great, my name is Emma Howell, and I am from Routt County Family Services. I have in my records that you and your wife, Santana, have a current home study approval on file. Is that right?" Emma asked.

Brittany grabbed Santana's hand, wondering if this was going to be a baby after all this time, and what that meant for the baby that they were supposed to be making in less than two weeks. She wasn't even sure what to feel about it. On one hand, they had been waiting for so long for a baby to join their family, one that they could help out and choose to love, but on the other hand, she had started to love the hypothetical child that would grow inside of Santana. Before she could sort any of it out, Brittany realized that Emma was talking.

"—and I really wouldn't ask if I had any other option. The problem is that the foster home that she was staying in burned down. I have found temporary placement for the three other kids in the home, but so close to the holidays, no one has room, or they're away, or who knows what else. So now I'm just going down my list of available families. I know you aren't necessarily hoping to foster, but is there anyway you could for just a few days? Only until we can find a new placement, just after the New Year, at the latest." Emma sounded fairly panicked, even through the phone line, and Brittany was starting to catch on to what was actually happening. This wasn't a baby for them.

"Can you give me some more details?" Brittany asked. "About the kid?" Santana looked worried and Brittany gave her hand a squeeze, telling her it was okay, she didn't need to worry.

"Her name is Natalie Keahi. She's seven years old. It looks like her parents died about eighteen months ago, no known relatives. She was recently moved from another foster home in Logan County. We'd really rather not shift her out of the county again, not after such a sudden change so recently, but if we can't find a family here, we're going to have to."

Brittany thought about it for a moment. She hated the thought of a little girl waiting all by herself with no one to be there for her on Christmas. "I need to talk to my wife first," Brittany finally answered.

"Of course. You can call me back at this number. I know this is a big decision, but, whichever way you decide, please let me know as soon as possible."

"We will."

"Thank you, Brittany. Happy Holidays."

"You, too." Brittany hung up the phone.

"Was that about a—," Santana asked sitting up. Brittany could read the same mix of apprehension and excitement that she had been feeling a minute ago.

"No, it's not a baby," Brittany said. Santana sighed, both in relief and disappointment, and Brittany definitely understood. "That was one of the women from the County Family Services. I guess there was a house that burned down last night or this morning? The family that lived there was fostering four kids, and now they're trying to find placement for them. I guess, since it's such an emergency, that she's basically just going down the list of families who have home studies approved and space for a kid. It sounds like she's having a rough time."

"How many kids?" Santana asked, looking towards the stairs that led to their bedrooms.

"Four," Brittany answered, "Oh, but she's already placed three." Santana visibly relaxed. "There's just a little girl left. Her name is Natalie, and she's seven. I guess, she's in the system because her parents died a bit ago and there was no one else they could find in her family."

Santana made a face at Brittany that clearly spoke of how sad she found that. "So how long do they think they'll need her to stay, you know, wherever?"

"I think it depends a little bit on what they can find. It sounded like probably until after Christmas for sure. Maybe after New Year. I get the sense that maybe she's, like, been bumped around from family to family already, and they're trying hard to get some stability into her life."

Santana nodded, biting her lip. "So, if we do…," she said slowly, processing through the feelings flooding her. "We're basically deciding to wait another month, right?"

Brittany felt her heart sink. She hadn't really thought of that. There were solutions that she could see glimmering: they could still go ahead with it, just very quietly; Santana could have it done at the office by herself. But as soon as she thought of them, the ideas faded. They would want to be able to take the time to do it right, and neither one would be okay with hushing it all up and trying to make a baby in secret while a little girl without a family slept only a few rooms away, nor would they want to be separated for the creation of their child. "Yes, I think that would be what that would mean," Brittany said, with a heavy sigh.

"But, even if we waited, we could still maybe have one by Christmas. And we wouldn't necessarily get pregnant this month," Santana pointed out. She let the rest of that thought remain unspoken: if they didn't even try, they definitely wouldn't.

They sat in silence for a moment, thinking the whole thing over. Finally, Santana shook her head. Brittany let out a soft breath, feeling disappointed but understanding all the same. They certainly weren't the first family to say no. She'd find someone to look after her. "I just can't, Britt," Santana said, curling into Brittany's arms.

"I understand, sweetheart. It's okay—"

"I just can't leave her there by herself," Santana interrupted. "I know that it put a wrench in our plans for our baby, but I think our baby would understand, don't you? If we waited just a bit to help out a little girl who doesn't have anyone else for Christmas?"

"Oh, Santana," Brittany said, pressing a fierce kiss to the top of Santana's head. "Yes, that is exactly what I was feeling."

"Call her back? Let's not leave her hanging," Santana said. "I'll go see what we might need to get." She rose from her seat, pausing to kiss Brittany gently, before collecting a pad of paper and a pen as she went.

Santana hesitated at the bottom of the stairs, looking both up to the floor above and down the hall, trying to decided what was best. Eventually she took a breath and started up the stairs.

They had fallen in love with their house from the first moment they had seen it. There was a spacious yard, front and back, with neighbors near enough to pop over and see, but far enough for privacy. The first floor had space for a kitchen and dining area, a living room, a half bathroom Santana's office, and the spare bedroom used by their parents whenever they came over. The second floor, had a master suite with a bathroom, a second full bathroom, and the room that they had turned into a nursery.

Santana and Brittany had known that they might not have a lot of warning when they got a baby, so they had prepared the room, painting the walls a soft lilac-y grey with accents of sunny yellow. A plush rug in the same grey was spread over the wood floor, and a white dresser sat in the corner. The only other piece of furniture in the room was the rocking chair that Santana's abuela had rocked her in when she was a baby.

Abuela had died last year, before they had any baby to rock in it.

There was a crib, still in the box, in the basement downstairs, in a pile with a few other essentials, but they'd never brought it into the room. Brittany had had a feeling like it might jinx it, but it didn't seem to matter anyway, as the days stretched on and no baby came.

Santana walked across the room and picked up the stuffed bunny sitting on the rocking chair.

"Honey?" Brittany's voice came from the doorway.

Santana turned around. "I know this is… But I just thought she would probably want to be closer to us than the guest room. If she's been through all of that lately."

Brittany came and wrapped her arms around Santana, kissing her forehead. "I think so, too. Are you okay with that?"

"Yeah, I mean, even if I was pregnant right now, it would be months, maybe even a whole year, before the baby would need a nursery. She can borrow it for a week or two."

For a little while longer, Brittany just held Santana in the room that was not-quite-a-nursery. Once she felt Santana relax a little bit, she knew they could move on with what they had to do. Emma was bringing Natalie to them that evening, around seven, which meant they only had about five hours to get what they needed. And that list was pretty long. Brittany had gotten the information that Natalie had a few things—the house hadn't been completely destroyed so most of her possessions were intact, and they'd received some donations to help cover what was lost, but the room was bare and intended for an infant.

Four and a half hours later, Brittany was tossing their tools back into the toolbox, trying to make sure she didn't have anything left on the floor that could be tripped on or who knew what. The room had been transformed. A white bed now sat in the middle of the room, partially over the rug, with pillows and blankets and a lilac comforter. A small bookcase dragged in from Santana's office was filled with their childhood books and a selection from the librarian at their library. Santana was just folding the last of the clothes they had gotten, just a few things to help her through in case she didn't have enough. In the bathroom, a new toothbrush, some toothpaste, and a towel printed with butterflies and hibiscus flowers sat on the counter.

Everything was as ready as it could be for a kid they'd never met and were only taking in for a few days.

"Why am I so nervous?" Santana said as she dropped a shirt for the third time.

"Because she's been through a lot," Brittany said, "and you want to make it all okay. I feel the same way. But we're not the knights, you know we're… innkeepers along the journey."

Santana sighed and nodded. Brittany was right, that was exactly it, but acknowledging it didn't make her feel any better about it. After the clothes were finally put away, Santana and Brittany went down to wait for Emma and Natalie. They tried to sit on the couch, but neither could sit still. Eventually, Santana ended up pacing and adjusting ornaments on the tree while Brittany flipped through a copy of Today's Veterinary Practice and tried to focus enough to process any of the words. They both jumped at the sound of a car in their driveway. It had to be Emma. No one else would be stopping by at this time.

Santana glanced back at Brittany who came to join her at the door. She could feel her heart pounding hard in her chest. Brittany was clearly feeling the same way, from how tightly she was holding Santana's hand. As soon as she heard footsteps on the steps, Santana opened the door. A red-headed woman with big, doe-eyes looked up in surprised and then smiled. "Hi, you must be Santana Pierce," she said.

"I am," Santana said, her voice cracking slightly as she stepped back so that Emma could walk through the door. She cleared her throat and gestured towards Brittany with her free hand. "This is Britt."

"And this is Natalie," Emma said, helping draw out the little girl hiding behind her.

Natalie was adorable, there was no denying it. She had a wave of dark hair, freckles across her cheeks, and round eyes with dark lashes. Santana hadn't thought much about it earlier, but now she wondered if Natalie's last name was Hawaiian.

"Hi, Natalie," Brittany said. "Welcome to our house."

Natalie stared up at them, but didn't say anything.

"Do you want to put your stuff down?" Emma asked, referring to the backpack and small duffle bag Natalie was holding.

"Yes, I could show you where you're sleeping, if you want," Santana said. "It's just right upstairs."

"I can manage," Natalie said, shifting her duffle bag a little higher on her shoulder and taking off up the stairs. The three adults watched in silence as she came to the top, glanced both ways, and turned towards the room that would be hers for the moment.

"It's been a long day," Emma offered in Natalie's defense. Santana shook her head with a shrug, she totally understood. There was no need to explain or excuse it. She was frankly impressed that Natalie was functioning as well as she was. They let her have a few minutes to explore the room by herself while Emma walked them through the paperwork that they needed to sign. By the time they had finished signing what felt like the fortieth paper, Natalie had come back down the stairs.

"Are you all set?" Emma asked her kindly as she scooped up the papers and replaced them in the folder they had come in.

Natalie nodded and shrugged at the same time.

"I will be in touch," Emma said. She said goodbye to Natalie and headed out the door.

For a moment, no one seemed to move, as Natalie stood there looking at them. Finally, Brittany broke the silence. "Are you hungry?" she asked.

Natalie nodded.

"We were just about make dinner," Santana said. "Do you like grilled cheese?" Natalie nodded, again. "How about soup? Would you like some soup with it?"

Natalie hesitated and then murmured, "I don't really like tomato soup."

"Neither does Santana," Brittany added with a smile, bumping Santana with her hip. "She likes chicken noodle better. How about you?"

Natalie nodded one more time.

"Okay, it should be ready in about twenty minutes," Santana said as Brittany headed to the kitchen. "Do you want to do something until then? We have books and coloring stuff and that PBS kids app." She gestured towards their iPad with the last option. Natalie shifted awkwardly and looked at the tablet. "Sounds good," Santana said with a bit of a forced smile. She just felt so out of touch, trying to figure out how to interact with this melancholy little stranger in her house. Still, she opened up the app and left Natalie on the couch starting up some PBS program where two guys taught about animals.

Santana and Brittany made dinner together, with Brittany constructing three perfect grilled cheese sandwiches and Santana heating a serving of tomato soup and two of chicken noodle. The meal was just as uncomfortable. Natalie hardly said anything, though she did eat the entire bowl of soup and her sandwich.

Brittany showed her how to work the shower while Santana turned down her bed. Then, they fidgeted around their room, both trying very hard to not look like they were waiting for her. When she emerged, in the new blue pajamas that Santana had bought her, Natalie said that she was tired and wanted to go to bed.

Brittany wasn't sure if she wanted them to tuck her in or not. In Santana's family, she had started putting herself to bed around the time she was six, but Brittany's mom had come in and kiss her good night every night until she was well into high school, even nights that Brittany was up late working on homework or glee routines.

But it was her first night in their house, and she had just been through a lot, so Brittany and Santana came in, after knocking on the door, to help her draw the covers up to her chin, to wish her a good night, and to turn off the lamp on their way out.

Brittany and Santana went back to their bedroom, almost hanging on the seconds, waiting to hear any noise that might be coming from Natalie. The seconds stretched into minutes and when ten minutes had passed without so much as a shuffle from the other side of the upstairs, they started to relax a bit.

"Wow, it's so much more—," Santana broke off and shook her head. "Like I knew she probably wouldn't be a happy kid…"

"Yeah. I keep wanting to hug her, but she doesn't seem like she'd want me to," Brittany added.

"I wish I understood more about what do for her," Santana murmured, leaning into Brittany's arms.

"We'll figure something out, honey," Brittany whispered, pressing a kiss to Santana's forehead. They stood together for a moment, before Brittany yawned. Santana echoed it with one of her own, and they both silently decided it was time for bed. Brittany had to head to work early the next morning, so she showered while Santana washed her face and brushed her teeth.

By the time that Brittany was done with her own teeth, Santana had crawled into bed and was reading something on her phone, glasses perched on the end of her nose. "Hmm, are you trying to start something with me, Mrs. Pierce, wearing those in our bed?" Brittany asked, crawling into bed and nuzzling her nose into Santana's cheek. Santana just grinned and kissed Brittany on the forehead, before tilting her phone to show Brittany the article she was reading about depressed children. "Is it helpful?" Brittany asked.

"Not as much as I would like. I'll send it to you, though, and you can read it at work tomorrow, if you get a break," Santana suggested, tapping a few things on her screen and then setting her phone and her glasses on the side table. Brittany turned off the light, and they met in the middle of the bed, twining their legs around each other.

"It'll be okay," Santana whispered, half promise, half hope.

With everything they had rushed around to do and the awkward, tense feeling that had settled over the house for most of the evening, Brittany and Santana were both exhausted. Even though it was still pretty early, they fell asleep right away.

A few hours later, a whimper and then a sob rang through the silent house.

Santana startled awake first and Brittany, a moment later. "Natalie," Santana whispered, slipping quickly out of bed and racing through their room and down the hall. Brittany was right behind her, flipping the switch to the hall light so they didn't trip.

A shard of light from the hallway sliced into the room Natalie was in as they opened the door. She was tossing and turning in bed, asleep but distressed. Brittany moved right forward, while Santana hung back just a step or two. Brittany gently shook Natalie's shoulder. "Natalie, Natalie, sweetie, it's Brittany. You're okay, you're safe." There was the dull smack of skin on skin as Natalie's flailing arm caught Brittany's outstretched hand, and that, unfortunately, was the thing that caused Natalie to finally wake up.

"Where am I?" she wailed, her voice heartbroken and lost.

"You're at our house. Brittany and Santana Pierce," Santana chimed in over Brittany's shoulder.

"Do you remember Emma dropping you off?" Brittany asked. "So that you could stay with us for a few days?" Natalie didn't say anything, but she looked less panicked. "Did you have a bad dream?"

Natalie nodded, her solemn expression even harder to read in the near dark.

"Do you want to tell us about it?" Brittany sat down on the edge of Natalie's bed, but Natalie shook her head. "Do you want to us to stay with you for a little bit?" No. "Can we get you anything? Water?" No, again.

Santana walked away, moving to the closet and reaching onto the top shelf. She came back a moment later, the grey, soft bunny in her hands. "Do you want to hold onto this?" Natalie hesitated. Santana offered it out for her to feel. "It's really soft. We were going to give this to— Brittany and I were thinking about having a baby. But I think he'd be just as happy with you." Natalie took the bunny and tucked it into the crook of her arm, her thumb and forefinger from her free hand rubbing circles on the bunny's ear.

"Thank you," she murmured.

"Of course," Santana whispered with a smile. "Are you all set to go back to sleep?" Natalie's eyes were already starting to close and she gave one small nod. "Okay, we'll see you in the morning." Brittany rested her hand on Natalie's leg for a moment.

When they were back in bed together, neither one really knew what to say. Instead, Santana just buried her head into Brittany's chest, and they held each other close until they fell asleep.

December 19 — Six Days until Christmas

Brittany got up before Santana, as she always did on the mornings that she had the first shift at the veterinary practice she worked at. Most morning, Santana pulled herself out of bed at the same time, stumbling into the shower while Brittany got ready and meeting her downstairs for a cup of coffee before she had to run out. With their late night, though, Santana was groggy when she tried to force herself awake, and Brittany kissed her and tucked her back into bed. She woke an hour later to a text on her phone wishing her luck and telling her to call if she needed Brittany to come home.

Santana checked on Natalie, who was still fast asleep, arms locked around the bunny, before she climbed into the shower. She had managed to get dressed and finish three quarters of her bowl of cereal, two cups of coffee, and half the morning paper before she heard footsteps on the stairs. Santana looked up to see Natalie coming down, wearing jeans and a t-shirt that Santana had bought the day before.

"These are for me, right? They're way too big for a baby," Natalie said, stopping at the base of the stairs.

"No, of course, they're definitely for you," Santana said, gesturing Natalie over to the table. She could see that jeans were a little big for Natalie too. "Do you like cereal? We have a bunch of kinds." Santana opened the cupboard where five boxes of cereal were lined up.

"Lucky Charms?" Natalie asked hopefully.

Santana smiled and poured her a bowl. "These's are Britt's favorites, too." For a few moments while they were eating breakfast together, Santana thought they day might actually go pretty well. Maybe Natalie was settling in and she wouldn't have such a rough time over the next week or so with them.

But then once breakfast was done, Natalie slumped onto the couch. Santana offered the iPad again, and Natalie made it through about half of a show about a bunch of kid detectives running around before she turned it off and put it to the side. Nothing that they had seemed to tempt her. She didn't want to color or look at books or play outside or play the piano or anything. Finally, Santana suggested that they unpack her stuff. Natalie trudged upstairs with Santana but sat on the bed and played with the ears of the bunny.

Santana opened the duffle bag that Natalie had brought and was shocked to find a plastic garbage bag inside. The garbage bag was full of clothes, but all the clothes were sooty or damp and smelled smokey. Natalie tucked her nose into the bunny and avoided looking at Santana.

"Well, it's a good thing we have a washing machine," Santana joked, trying to keep the situation light. It made sense now why Natalie had only been wearing the clothes that Santana had bought the other day. To keep the smell from getting all through the house, Santana zipped the bag and carried it downstairs to their laundry machines. She dumped the bag in the machine, noting that Natalie's stuff barely filled the drum of the washing machine and started it on the longest cycle. If they needed to rewash in separate loads, they could, but this would be a good start.

Santana headed back up the stairs to Natalie's room. She was still on the bed, though she was lying back against the pillows now, twirling the bunny's ears around her fingers. "How about your backpack?" Santana asked as she moved it to her feet. "Is there anything else in there that might need to get washed too?" She started to unzip it.

In a moment, Natalie was in front of her. "Be careful with that!" she said, snatching it away from Santana. "It wasn't even at the fire!"

"Okay," Santana said slowly and softly, a little startled. "Do you want to unpack it? We could put your school stuff somewhere. Britt and I didn't think of a desk, but I have some spare space in my office, or there's some left over on this shelf."

"All of my school stuff is still at that school I was going to," Natalie said with disdain, peeking into the backpack to check that everything was still there an alright. "Not that it mattered at all, because we already learned all of this stuff last year."

Santana realized that Natalie probably carried her most precious things in her backpack, so they'd be with her, and her heart broke. Still, she could sense that Natalie probably could use a few moments to herself. "Alright, if you want to lay them out, put them anywhere in the room, okay? I'm going to go do some work in my office. It's right downstairs. If you're hungry, get anything in the kitchen, or come ask me and I'll make you something."

Natalie nodded but she didn't let go of her backpack.

The rest of the day went more or less the same. Natalie appeared for meals and ate everything that she as given, but she spent the rest of the day by herself in her room or silently watching shows on the iPad. She didn't want to do anything that Santana suggested, and Brittany didn't have any more luck when she got home.

When they were saying goodnight, though, Santana noticed she had spread a few things out on the top of the bookshelf. There was a tattered photo album, a bottle of sea glass, and a small box. Santana went to bed feeling a little better and hoping Natalie did too.

December 20 — Five Days until Christmas

If Natalie was feeling any better, she certainly wasn't showing it. The next morning, she ate another huge bowl of Lucky Charms and then went back to sitting around doing nothing. Brittany was home because Santana had an important translation project due the next day and, despite the amount of time she had spent in her office the day before, nothing had been done other than listening for footsteps on the stairs and reading more articles.

Brittany left Natalie alone though two TV shows and one hour of her being silent in her room. Then, she decided to take a more direct approach. She brought Santana a cup of tea and made sure she was actually working before heading up the stairs.

"Hey, Natalie. Whatcha up to?" Brittany asked, leaning against the doorframe. Natalie, who was lying flat on her back, holding the bunny, turned her head to look at Brittany and sighed. "Sounds like a lot of fun," Brittany said, crossing into the room and sitting down in the rocking chair. "Let's come up with something to do together. Any ideas?"

"No," Natalie said with a sigh.

"We can do anything you want. I'm totally open, and as long as it is accessible by a hybrid SUV and we can be home for dinner, we'll do it."

"I don't know," Natalie said, rolling over to look at Britt.

"Do you want to learn how to play chopsticks on the piano?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to make a snowman outside?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to make cookies?"

"Uh, I don't know."

"Do you want me to drive you to school?"

"No."

"Do you want to do anything inside here at the house?"

"I don't know."

"Do you want to go ice skating with me?"

Natalie hesitated.

"I'm not great," Brittany added, "but it's a lot of fun and we can get hot chocolate after."

Natalie nodded.

"Yes," Brittany said, fist pumping. "Okay, do you have mittens and a hat or should we swing by the store."

"I have gloves. But I don't have skates," Natalie said, looking worried.

"Neither do I," Brittany said brightly, pushing herself up out of the chair. "We'll rent them."

They got their coats and gloves. Brittany found a hat for Natalie, a fuzzy purple number Santana had bought her when they were in fifth grade, and shoved a deerstalker of her own onto her head. Brittany also grabbed a pair of thick socks for each of them and popped her head into Santana's office to let her know where they were going.

Natalie was quiet again for their whole ride to the rink, even when Brittany put on the radio and sang the Christmas carols playing, but she perked back up again when they walked into the rink. Brittany paid for two pairs of rental skates from a disinterested teenager juggling a puck on a hockey stick. She tied on Natalie's first, but the girl didn't budge until Brittany had her own skates laced up. They walked out to the ice together and Brittany helped Natalie step on.

Brittany had about the same amount of skill as she remembered. She could go forward pretty well and creep backwards a bit if she turned around and wiggled her butt. Natalie clung to the wall for her first pass around, but she slowly gained confidence. There were a few girls from the Steamboat Springs Figure Skating Club (as their jackets said) practicing spins in the center, and Natalie was awed.

By the end of the hour, Brittany had seen Natalie smile, which she was pretty sure was a first for them. Her smile was bright and lovely, and Brittany wanted to make it happen again.

Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but the rest of the day seemed to go just a touch smoother. Natalie faded a bit while they drank their hot chocolate and was quiet for the ride back. When she got to the house, Natalie trudge upstairs and laid down, but when Brittany peeked in on her later, she was asleep.

Brittany managed to pull another smile from her later, during dinner, as she recounted a particularly hilarious fall where she had tried to dodge out of the way of what had to be an incredibly accomplished toddler skating in fully hockey gear and ended up falling directly on her butt and knocking the little hockey player over anyway. After dinner, she was still quiet, but the silence felt less forced and awkward, and the night passed with no more nightmares.

December 21—Four Days until Christmas

The next day, when they woke up, it was snowing too hard for Brittany to go to work, so they spent an extra long morning in bed and then made breakfast together in their pajamas. Natalie watched them over the top of the Where's Waldo? book she had gotten from the bookshelf upstairs (formerly Santana's, Brittany had gotten mad at her little sister, Ashley, and circled everything to find in their shared copy).

They spent the morning in the living room, a fire crackling in the woodstove. Brittany took notes on a case she had been working on while Santana worked on lists of things that they would need for the next few days and Christmas dinner. Natalie read a book for a while, and then got Brittany to start watching Good Luck Charlie with her on Netflix. It was quiet, but not uncomfortable or sulky, as it had been earlier in the week.

After lunch the snow had stopped, and by two, the snowplow had trundled down their little road, which was a pretty good indication that most of the major areas had been plowed out already. Santana took the snowblower out to clear the driveway while Brittany called into work to make sure that she wasn't needed.

The ride to town started out quiet, but Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas is You" came on, and soon the whole car was rocking out to the upbeat lyrics, even Natalie.

The store was pretty subdued for four days before Christmas, but Santana attributed that to the snowstorm. They got the food that they needed all together, checking with Natalie about the dishes. She trailed behind, not exactly involved, but not as despondent as she'd been in days past. A smile bloomed on her face when they added ice cream and an extra box of Lucky Charms to their cart.

Next they headed over to the department store. Brittany needed to get a few things for her office New Year's party. Santana wanted to help Natalie find a dress.

"So, where do I need this for?" Natalie asked, stroking her fingers over a dress made of green velvet.

"Every Christmas I go to Mass with Brittany. Do you know what Mass is?" Natalie shook her head. "It's basically just church, but way more formal and stuff. My grandmother and parents used to take me," Santana explained as she flipped through the different dresses, looking for one that was suited for Natalie. "Then, when I was in high school, my grandmother and I had… a disagreement." She broke off to hold a dress up, and then tucked it back into the rack. "Brittany took me that year instead, so now it's our tradition." Santana flipped through a few more dresses and then held up a dress. It was black velvet on the top, with a blue skirt covered in sparkly silver glitter swirls. A large white bow divided the two.

"I like it," Natalie said, her voice hushed in awe.

"Then, we'll get it," Santana said, walking toward the place where they said that they'd meet Brittany.

"Santana?" Natalie asked while they were waiting.

"Yeah," Santana said, surprised to hear Natalie use her name.

"Why did you and your grandma get into a fight?"

Santana hesitated. She didn't want to share this, to put thoughts about this kind of thing into this little girl's head. But she didn't want to lie, either, because she had a feeling that kids in Natalie's situation heard a lot of lies supposedly for their own good. "You know that Brittany and I are married," Santana began. "And that we're both girls." Natalie gave her a look that clearly said duh. "Well, not everyone is okay with that. And that's especially true for older people or people who are from strict religions, like my grandmother. That's changed a lot and is definitely not true anymore. But for a while, she just couldn't see that it would be okay. We made up for my wedding to Brittany though." Santana gave Natalie a watery smile.

"Oh," Natalie said. "That's pretty cool."

"I think so, too."

December 22 — Three Days until Christmas

The snow around their house was still fluffy and white, but the sun was shining and the air was cool without a bitter sting, so Brittany and Natalie went out to make a snowman while Santana wrapped presents.

After a lunch of soup to warm her girls, or her girl and Natalie, rather, Santana took over while Brittany tromped down into the basement to wrap the things that she needed to. However, Natalie didn't seem to like any of the things that she was offering. Eventually, Santana let her just go to her room. After sighing to herself for a little bit, she went to her office.

I don't think Natalie likes me, she texted to Brittany.

what? no way she thinks you're great! The reply lit up her phone only a few moments later.

Then why doesn't she want to do anything with me, Santana texted back, tapping her pen against her desk.

she's probably just tired hon. if I had like any of your presents wrapped i'd be taking a nap right now

Santana was still thinking about what to say to then when she heard a knock on her door. "Santana?" Natalie asked from the door.

"Yeah, sweetie?" Santana responded, quickly turning off the screen of her phone so that Natalie wouldn't be able to see what she had been texting. Natalie came into the room, taking in the different things that Santana had put up. There was a large frame on the wall that held a bunch of different prints. She had filled that with memories from the five years that she had been married to Brittany. Santana had found a comfortable love seat to take up the wall opposite to her computer and desk, for when she wanted a comfortable place to sit. In the corner, there was a bookshelf with different binders from some of the translation work she had done. A pile of books decorated the top, emptied from the bookshelf that had been moved to Natalie's room

Santana watched as Natalie walked to the pile and picked up a book. "Do you know this book?" she asked quietly.

"A Little Princess?" Santana smiled. "That's one of my favorites."

"Mine, too."

"I keep it in here because that's how I got started in my job," Santana said. "My grandmother was in the hospital for a few days and I went and ready to her, but she wanted to hear it in Spanish. I couldn't find a Spanish copy, so I translated it into Spanish for her. That was kind of my start."

"So you speak Spanish?" Natalie asked. "Cool."

Santana winked at her. "Gracías."

Natalie grinned. "Will you read some to me?"

"Sure, let's just go sit down." Santana eased into the love seat and helped Natalie climb up with her. "Okay, let's start at the beginning. 'Una vez en un día de invierno oscuro… Once on a dark winter's day, when the yellow fog—'"

December 23 — Two Days Before Christmas

The day before Christmas Eve—Christmas Adam as Brittany murmured in Santana's ear that morning—was probably their best day yet. Natalie had come alive in her five days in the house, though Santana and Brittany still caught her in moments of melancholy that she wasn't willing to talk about. But they spent the whole day together, getting into the Christmas spirit. Brittany took Natalie to drop off cookies that Santana made at the vet's office where she worked. They put out the last few decorations and spent most of the afternoon curled up on the couch all together watching Christmas movies. After dinner, it was their tradition to get their dishes all ready for the dinner the next evening, so Brittany carefully carried the heavy box from the basement where they stored it to the kitchen. The first three years of their marriage, they had used nice but inexpensive dishes a present the year that they were engaged from one of Brittany's cousins.

When Santana's abuela had died last fall, one of the things that she had left Santana was her good Christmas china. Santana had eaten off it every Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving since she was old enough to need a plate.

Once the box was on the counter, Santana opened it carefully and began to draw dishes out: enough plates for three settings, serving bowls, mugs that matched. Each of these, she gently submerged in a bath of lukewarm water and specially ordered dish soap, swishing the soft cloth over them, and resting them on a towel specifically laid out for them.

Brittany, meanwhile, helped Natalie to spread the tablecloth, a lace and brocade number in a deep mulberry color. Brittany headed back downstairs to find the candlesticks for the middle, and Natalie looked around for how else she could help. Her eyes fell on the plates, which looked pretty dry, and were obviously going to be set on the table. She reached for the first one and lifted it up.

"No!" Santana exclaimed, turning quickly as she saw the plate suddenly move. The sudden outburst startled Natalie, and her fingers slipped on the wet surface of the dish.

With a horrible shattering sound, the plate burst into shards across the floor.

For a moment, both Natalie and Santana stood staring at the plate.

"It was an accident!" Natalie cried out, but before Santana could respond, she burst into tears and bolted for the stairs.

Brittany came to the doorway just as Natalie ran past her. One look in the kitchen made it very clear what had happened.

"Do you want me to—?" she asked, pointing her thumb over her shoulder towards the stairs.

Santana took a deep steadying breath. "No, I will," she said. "I just—"

"I know, sweetheart." Brittany carefully picked her way over the porcelain that littered the floor and wrapped her arms around Santana. "What was it, a sixteen place set?" Santana nodded, her face in Brittany's chest. "Well, I guess that means we can only have thirteen kids." Santana laughed and sniffed.

"Would you mind cleaning it up?" Santana asked. She was afraid that her heart might break if she had to sweep up the shards of what used to be one of her abuela's plates.

"Of course." Brittany gave Santana a kiss.

"We'll be back down soon," Santana promised, carefully making her way out of the kitchen.

She climbed the stairs quietly, her heart settling in her chest as she did. She knew it was an accident, she knew Natalie meant nothing by it, and she knew that she had contributed quite a bit to the accident happening.

Santana gently pushed open the door and found Natalie, face down on her bed, her little body wracked with sobs. Natalie looked up as Santana walked in. "I'm sorry!" she wailed. "It was an accident. Please don't send me back!"

"Hey, hey," Santana said, shaking her head and smoothing Natalie's hair back from her face. "Come over here." Santana walked to the rocking chair and sat down. Natalie hesitated and then climbed into Santana's arms, the bunny still tucked under her arm. Santana started rocking.

"First of all," she murmured, "we are not sending you back. I know it was an accident. I'm sorry that I startled you." She sighed as she paused for a moment and stroked her hand up and down Natalie's back. "Those were my grandmother's dishes. She died a little more than a year ago, which is why I was so worried about them. I miss her a lot, especially because she missed a lot of the time of my life when we had that argument, and now she's missing the rest of my life, like when Brittany and I have kids. So, I put too much focus on the things that remind me of her, like those plates."

Natalie had stopped crying and was listening to Santana with rapt attention.

"But I have fifteen more plates, and she's left me things that are much more important." Santana held up her left hand. "This is her engagement ring, right there. She gave that to Brittany as a wedding present to give to me." Santana pushed her foot to start them rocking again. "This is her rocking chair. She held me in this many times just like I'm holding you." Natalie smiled a little at that. "And I have all the memories with her and pictures, and everything else. So it's okay."

Natalie nodded and laid her head down on Santana for a minute. Then, she slid off Santana's lap and went to the bookshelf. She came back with the photo album in her hands. "My mom and dad gave me this," she said as she climbed back into Santana's lap. They looked at the pictures in the album together.

The first was a pretty dark haired woman and a freckled man standing together, clearly just married. They both looked like Natalie. On the back side, there was a picture of the two of them in the water together, scuba gear on. Natalie explained that her parents had been a diver and a marine biologist. The next was a picture of Natalie's mom with her hands spread over her belly, the wind blowing her hair, and the sea spread out behind her. In the next few pictures, Natalie went from a baby to a toddler and a toddler to a preschooler. The last was a picture of Natalie, sandwiched between her two parents, in front of a big "Welcome to Colorado" sign.

Santana held her for a while longer, until Brittany came to check on them. They helped Natalie get ready for bed, tucking her in, making sure she had the bunny. Then Santana kissed her on the forehead and said goodnight.

December 24 — One Day until Christmas

The next morning, Brittany made a big breakfast for all of them, with pancakes in the shape of Christmas trees and snowmen. Then they bundled up in coats and hats and gloves and warm socks and soft scarfs. Another Christmas tradition that Santana and Brittany had started over the past few years was going for a sleigh ride sometime the week of Christmas. They had planned to go a few days ago, but the snowstorm had backed things up. It gave a perfect blanket for them to get their ride on, though.

Brittany drove them to the barn of a farmer whose chicken she had managed to save after a fox attack four years ago. He was the one who always offered them the sleigh ride. Natalie was enchanted, watching the two horse, stamping their feet and shaking their harnesses hung with bells. They helped her climb and followed, snuggling up on either side of her. Usually, it was a lot of fun and very romantic. This year, it wasn't quite as romantic but it was a lot more fun.

"Let's take a picture," Brittany suggested over the sound of the bells ringing and the runners cutting through the snow. She worked her gloves off and got out her phone, turning the camera around to face them. Santana and Brittany tucked themselves tighter into Natalie, and all three beamed at the camera.

By the time the farmer had taken them, literally, over the meadow and through the woods behind his farm, the wind was starting to bite at their cheeks, and they were happy to trade the open sleigh for the warm SUV.

It was back to the house for lunch, and then a quiet moment to themselves so they would be rested for mass that evening. Natalie laid in her bed with the iPad, and Brittany and Santana curled up together in their bed. Santana pressed her still-cold toes into the backs of Brittany's knees, giggling as Brittany squirmed and laughed, half from the chill of Santana's feet, and half from how ticklish she was.

Once Santana was warm, Brittany grabbed her phone to set an alarm in case they dozed off. While she had it in her hand, she flipped to her photos to show Santana the picture from earlier. It had come out perfectly. Their cheeks were all rosy from the cold and their smiles were genuine and wide. Their eyes were bright and happy, and they looked so close.

"I'm going to miss her," Santana whispered mournfully.

"Me, too," Brittany murmured, kissing Santana's forehead. They twined themselves together, supporting each other as they always had.

Eventually they got up and dressed for mass. Natalie put on her new dress, and Santana helped her smooth her curls so they fell gently down her back. The addition of some sparkly clips, sapphire stud earrings, white tights, and black patent leather mary janes had Natalie staring at herself in the mirror. Santana slipped into her own dress, a demure red dress with a knee length skirt. She twisted her dark hair up and put on a good church amount of makeup, save for her lipstick, which was the deep red of her dress. Brittany had a cocktail dress in the same blue as Natalie's skirt, so she put that on and wove her hair into a fancy braid.

At the church, Santana greeted the people that she usually talked to, introducing Natalie, and ignoring the new pang in her heart every time she mentioned the temporary nature of Natalie's stay with them.

The service was somberly joyful. It never felt like Christmas to Santana without getting to feel this, the seriousness and weight that her family had always placed on the importance of the day.

But her heart gave a particularly tight wrench in her chest as the three of them say Christmas hymns together, Santana's left hand clasped with Brittany's, resting on Natalie's back, while she used her left hand to trace the words in the hymn book Natalie was holding.

All three girls were tired when they got home, but it was Christmas Eve, so Santana brought out a plate and some cookies and milk, and Brittany found a piece of Christmas-y paper and a pen for Natalie. They gave her a few minutes to herself as they went upstairs to take off jewelry and to get the pins out of each other's hair.

Natalie came up while they were washing the makeup off each other's faces and let them know she was ready to go to bed. Santana helped her unzip from her dress, and Brittany pulled out her red and white striped Christmas pajamas from the drawer. They tucked her into bed, and then squeezed themselves on to either side of her. To keep from falling off, they had to be pressed together tightly, but no one minded at all. Brittany read The Grinch Who Stole Christmas, getting Natalie laughing with her great Grinch-y voice. Santana read The Night Before Christmas. Then, they pressed kisses to Natalie's forehead and smoothed her blankets and straightened her bunny, and finally, when her eyes started to flutter closed, they tiptoed out of the room.

Brittany tried to stop Santana at the top of the stairs, but Santana shook her head. She couldn't stop at this moment or she'd start to cry. Instead, she went downstairs to set out some of Natalie's presents, and the box she had been storing in her office of things for Brittany.

Brittany stayed upstairs for another minute, piling up her own box of presents she'd been keeping, wrapped, in their closet, for Santana. Her heart was hurting, too, but she didn't know what to do about it. Natalie had been promised that this was temporary. Santana wanted a baby. It just wasn't… right.

Finally, Brittany walked down the stairs. She set the box down and then looked up. Santana was sitting at the table, crying. "What's wrong, honey?" Brittany asked, hurrying forward. Santana shook her head and wordlessly handed Brittany a piece of paper.

It was Natalie's note to Santa. Brittany took a deep breath and read:

Dear Santa,

I'm not sure if you're real anymore. I kinda knew that you couldn't bring my parents back. But I was hoping. And instead you didn't come. But Santana and Brittany think you'll come this year. I don't know what to ask you to bring me, and I guess whatever it is you've probably already made it. But I don't want toys. I want a family. And now that I'm seven, I get that my old family isn't a choice anymore. So, for Christmas, maybe Santana and Brittany could be my moms? That's all I want.

But if they don't want me, I guess some ice skates would be okay.

Love,

Natalie

By the time that Brittany finished the letter, tears were dripping off the end of her nose. She looked up at Santana.

"I want to," Santana said, rising from the table and taking Brittany's hand. "We don't have to, but I love her. I want to be her mom."

"I do, too," Brittany said, "I want us to be a family." She leaned down and kissed Santana hard on the mouth, and then kissed the tears off of her cheeks.

"Okay, then we should do that, we should adopt her, right?"

"Yes, absolutely." They kissed again. "Alright, you call Emma, I'm going to run to the store real quick and get something, okay?"

Santana laughed and wiped her eyes. "Okay, yes, of course."

Brittany grabbed her keys and her jacket. "We're going to have a daughter, Santana," she said with a huge grin. Santana's smile split her face, and her heart felt somehow full and light.

December 25 — Christmas

The next morning, Santana and Brittany were woken by a little girl in red-and-white-striped Christmas pajamas launching herself into bed with them, shouting, "It's Christmas! It's Christmas! It's Christmas!"

"Oh, is it?" Brittany asked laughing, as Santana reached for her glasses.

"Yes, and there might even been some presents downstairs!" Natalie said, jumping up and down on the bed, before Brittany reached out and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her down to lay between them.

"I don't know, honey, do you think Santa would come to this house?" Brittany asked, an extra twinkle in her eye.

Santana smiled the same smirky smile back. "Hmm, have you been good?" Santana asked Natalie, bumping their noses together. Natalie nodded so earnestly it made Santana laugh. "Well, then we'd better check downstairs."

Natalie scrambled out of bed, and Santana and Brittany followed, holding hands. As soon as she made it to the bottom of the stairs, Natalie stopped dead. "Whoa," she whispered, staring at the presents sprawling out from under the tree.

"I guess you were good," Brittany said bumping her hip up against Natalie.

"Which one should you open first?" Santana asked, grinning.

"Hmm, yeah, I wonder," Brittany added in a voice that clearly said she didn't wonder at all.

"Uh, duh, that one!" Natalie said, hopping up and down and pointing to the present that was front and center under the tree. It was a blue and silver box, decorated with a large tag that said, "To Natalie, From Santa. Open Me First!" Natalie sat on the floor and undid the ribbon holding the box together.

Brittany slipped her hand into Santana's and squeezed it tightly.

Inside the box was a picture frame, nestled in layers of white tissue paper. The picture inside was the one from their sleigh ride the morning before. Natalie admired the picture for a few moments before she noticed the frame, a solid wood frame with ornate letters carved into the bottom, spelling out "FAMILY".

Natalie slowly turned to look at them. "Does this mean that you want to—"

Santana and Brittany nodded. "We want to adopt you," Brittany said. Natalie gasped and ran for them. Brittany and Santana dropped to their knees and wrapped their arms around her, holding her tightly.

"Merry Christmas, Natalie," Santana whispered. "Welcome to our family."